Out of Focus (27 page)

“Sure did.” She moved next to him and pointed to a photograph. “I was on the catwalk over the audience when I took that one. It was amazing. I could feel the heat, their energy. I’ve never felt anything like it before.”

“You sure didn’t seem like such a daredevil yesterday?’

She laughed. “It was pretty cool. When I get in the zone behind that lens I’m much braver.”

“Talented, too.” He turned the pages, glancing at picture after picture of Cody, the band and fans. He flipped back to the first pages. “Hey, this one is autographed for you.”

“Let me see.” She took the book and read the inscription. “That was so sweet.”

“Sounds like a pretty friendly note from a client,” Scott said. Even a little jealous, though he had no right to be.

“We spent a lot of time together on tour. It was right after the accident. He’s a good friend.”

“What’s that mean in the note about seeing you in Texas?”

 
“I didn’t tell you about the cookbook? We’re doing a barbecue coffee-table book. I’m going to shoot his team cooking at an annual BBQ cook-off this fall.”

“So you’re going to Texas?”

“Yep. We signed a contract for it a few months ago.”

Why do I always fall for the city girls?
“So, when do you jet-set off?”

“That’s not until Labor Day weekend.”

“I sure can’t compete with a guy like that,” Scott said, tossing the book on the coffee table. He regretted his words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

“This isn’t a competition, and I’m no prize. And even if I were available, I already told you, Cody is just a friend.”

“You’re right. I was out of line,” Scott said. “How about I make you some tea while you go through that stuff.”

“That sounds good.” Kasey sat on the floor and flipped through the book.

Scott filled a mug with water and microwaved it for Kasey’s tea, then started opening drawers, looking for a spoon. Just after he closed the drawer next to the stove, he paused and re-opened it. Amidst the batteries, stamps, paperclips and sticky notes in the junk drawer, there were a dozen butterscotch candies and a couple of empty wrappers. He picked up one of the candies and held it in his hand, then stuffed it into his pocket. He opened the next drawer and retrieved a spoon just as the microwave signaled. He dropped the tea bag into the hot water, stirred in a teaspoon of sugar, then grabbed his beer and went back into the living room.

Kasey had pushed the box of books to the corner of the room. She sat on the couch, going through yesterday’s mail.

“Here you go,” he said, handing her the mug. “What are you going to do tomorrow? Any plans?”

Kasey placed the hot mug on the table beside her. “I was just thinking about that. Busy is the best thing I can do; besides pray, so I think I’m going to drive to Virginia Beach and visit my grandmother. I'm way overdue.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“I’ll have my cell. You’ll call me if you hear anything, right?”

“You can count on it,” he said. “I’m heading home. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”

“Thanks for everything.” She walked him to the door and gave him a hug, then watched as he left.
Am I wishing you would stay?

The phone rang, shattering the moment. She ran to answer it before the call went to voice mail.

“Did you get the box? The book is awesome,” Cody said.

“I did. I know. I was just looking at it.”

“It’s going to be a hit, but enough about that. I wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“Some days are better than others. We’re still looking
—
and waiting.”

“The wait won’t be as long as it has been.”

“Thanks to you.”

“That’s what friends do: help each other,” Cody said. “Speaking of which. I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure. Anything. What’s up?”

“I told you about Lou, remember?”

“Yep. You saw her?”

“It was like old times. The chemistry, everything.”

“Cody, that’s great.”

“I know. We’re going to give things a try. Thanks so much for the lecture. I never would have tried to contact her if it hadn’t been for you.”

“I’m so excited for you.”

“Lou and I’ve already wasted too much time. So here’s the favor part.”

“Ask already, would ya?”

“I’m flying in to see her. Would you mind if she meets me at your place?”

“Here?”

“Yeah. I can land at the Greensville-Emporia strip. It’s secluded out there. No paparazzi or people waiting for flights. No one to start rumors. I promise we won’t impose long. I’d like you to meet her.”

“I’d love that. When?”

“It’s short notice.” Cody cleared his throat. “If it’s not a good time, just say no. Tomorrow, if you can swing it. If not, don’t sweat it. I can have her wait for me there at the airport. I just thought it would be nicer this way.”

“I’m glad you thought of me. No problem at all. It’s the least I could do for you. Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?” Kasey’s mood lifted. It would be good to see him again.

“I’ll call you and let you know when we have an ETA.”

“Y’all are welcome to stay here overnight if you need to, depending on how the schedule works out.”

“That would be great. You won’t tell anyone about us coming into town, will you?”

“No way. I’ve seen first-hand what the press does with news about you. I won’t tell a soul.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

The next morning Kasey got up early to get ready for the drive to Virginia Beach. Flat gray clouds sprawled across the sky. The forty-percent chance of scattered showers looked more like the chance of a dark, stormy day. But she didn’t let that stop her from moving forward.

She put on a pair of khaki’s and a black top. Then, she took off the black shirt and tossed it on the bed. She went back into the closet, picked out a hot pink sweater and slipped it on. Pleased with the switch, she turned and looked at herself in the mirror.
The brighter the better. Anything to help keep my mood in check.

She leaned closer to the mirror and put on some plum crazy lip color, smacked her lips, and then hit the road.

Positive thoughts. Only positive thoughts.

Instead of calling ahead to set up time with her grandmother, she decided she’d just take things at her own pace.

Heading east on Route 58, she had an idea as she neared Main Street. She flipped her blinker on and turned right. Parallel parking had never been her forte, but that’s all they did in this part of town. She cruised to the end of the block until she found an opening with two spots in front of the bakery—she could negotiate her tiny car to the curb there, for sure. Floral & Hardy was a short walk up the block.

This was her first time in the flower shop, though the name had stuck with her since the day she met Chaz Huckaby. His shop was right across the street.

“Can I help you?” asked the young man behind the counter.

“Yes. By the way, I love the name of your shop.”

“Thanks. I’m Ted Hardy. You must be new around here.”

“I am. I need an arrangement. Do you have any pre-made?” she asked.

The young man hurried around the counter and led her to the glass front refrigerators on the other side of the store. “Heavens, yes. What’s the occasion?”

“Not an occasion. I wanted to put something graveside.” She shook her bangs away from her eyes. “My husband.”

He slumped and put his hand on her arm. “I’m sorry. Has it been long?”

“Not even a year.”

“Oh, my golly. I have just the thing.” He slapped the refrigerator door shut. “You don’t want something fresh. The deer will just gobble it up or it will wilt and look like crap in a few days. Follow me.”

He whisked behind the counter. “Come on, you can come back here. I was just finishing this.”

She stepped behind the counter and into the back room. It looked like a ribbon-and- flower truck had blown up in there. Snippets of leaves and flowers, ribbon, and lace littered the table.

Ted turned around and held up a gorgeous arrangement. “Tah-
dah!
What do you think?”

“It’s perfect.” Almost burgundy-colored roses, gold mums and white carnations fanned out among tons of greenery. “Very masculine. I love it.”

“It needs a ribbon. What color? No, wait. What was your husband like?” His mouth pursed, as he seemed to size her up, then he gave her a knowing look. “Outdoorsy fellow. Handsome, too, I bet.”

“Yes. That’s Nick. Very outdoorsy. Farmer, hunter, the whole thing.”

Ted lifted his shoulders and grinned. “I have something perfect.”

He turned his back to her. All she could see were his arms flying and scissors snipping. When he spun around, he’d woven a camouflage ribbon through the arrangement and tied a beautiful bow at the bottom.

Kasey’s jaw dropped. “It
is
perfect. Better than I ever could have imagined.”

“Right here,” he said, tapping a finger to his cheek.

She ran to his side and kissed him on the cheek.

“That’s what Teddy here lives for. People squealing over flowers.”

“Thanks,” Kasey said.

She paid Teddy, then carried the arrangement to the car. She nestled it in the floorboard so it wouldn’t get smooshed during the ride. The smell from the bakery made her stomach growl. No wonder. She hadn’t eaten since...well, she wasn’t sure.

She got back out of the car. The smell almost made her mouth water as she opened the door and went inside.

“Good morning, young lady,” a portly man in a white t-shirt and work pants covered by a brightly colored apron waved her to the counter.

Kasey surveyed the baked goods in the case. “What do you recommend?”

He gave her a toothy grin. “I’m known for my cinnamon rolls and bear claws. Just took the bear claws out of the oven. They’re still warm.”

“That must be what smells so good. Give me two.”

“You must be hungry.”

“One for me, one for a friend.”

“You’re my kind of friend,” he winked.

Kasey drove around the block and parked in front of the police station. She walked back to Scott’s office. “How are you?”

“What a nice surprise.” Scott pushed a stack of paperwork to the side.

“Are you busy?”

“Not too busy for you. I was just filling out paperwork to assign some security to the Indian Pow-Wow Festival next month.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“It is.”

“Do you have an Indian name?”

He laughed. “No. Maybe I could be Fish-While-She-Talks? What do you think?”

“I think you’re real funny. How about Bear Claw?”

“I like it. Sounds manly.” He pretended to swipe the air with a claw.

“Hold up, tough guy. I meant this kind.” She held up the waxy white bakery bag. “I brought you a bear claw. It’s not a doughnut, but I figured it was close enough.”

“You sure are in a good mood this morning.” Scott leaned back in his chair.

“Feeling feisty. Ready to face the world today,” Kasey said.

“Good,” he smiled. “Where are you off to so early?”

“Heading to see Grem, so I better get going.”

“Thanks for stopping by
—
and for the bad joke and good treat.”

“Anytime.” Suddenly feeling a little nervous, she grasped the leather strap of her purse as if it was a lifeline. “I appreciate everything you’re doing
—
have done
—
for me.”

“You’d be there for me, too.” He got up and came around the desk. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

They walked outside, and he stood at the curb. “Drive safe,” he called after her.

There wasn’t much traffic on Route 58 this morning. Fields of just-harvested cotton lined the sides of the road. The white fibers that remained on the plants glistened like fresh snow. Nick used to tease that he could t-shirt the world with the waste cotton left over after harvest. He’d probably been right.

Kasey slowed down as she passed the accident site, but didn’t stop.

A first.

There was nothing there for her anymore.

An hour later, she neared the little church in Pungo—her first stop. It had been too long since she’d been there. And until now, just too painful to return. Nick had gone to the church when he was a boy. She, Nick and Jake had attended there as a family—a Sunday ritual that ended with a late breakfast at the Farmer’s Diner of pancakes and fresh eggs from the chickens the owner raised on his farm.

The last time Kasey had been here was the day Nick had been laid to rest.

She pulled into the parking lot, gravel crunching under her tires. The old building looked as serene as it always had, the cemetery grounds as well groomed as the finest golf courses.

She hadn’t made a departure from the grace of God, but it was easy to feel betrayed, to place the blame of the anger and sorrow there. After all, Nick was a good man. How could it have been his time? How could something this heartbreak be part of a grander plan—God’s plan?

But now, she knew she was only cheating herself by being angry and staying away from church.

When Scott had mentioned the prayer list, her heart had melted. The warmth of that love, of faith, flowed through her. She pulled her keys from the ignition and sat with them in her lap, in no hurry.

Their wedding took place only a few short weeks after Nick's goofy proposal with the rubber fishing worm, and the church had been booked by another couple well in advance of that day. They hadn't wanted to wait, so they opted to be married at the farm.

It was hard to believe that was four years ago since they married.

So much had happened since then.

She got out of the car and walked up the steps to the tall doors of the church. Finding them unlocked, she ducked inside, and scanned the wide-open space of empty pews. So quiet. She tugged her cell phone out of her purse and turned it off. Although she was the only one in the sanctuary, she didn’t feel alone.

Kasey inched her way down the center aisle, her hand gliding across the smooth wood back of each pew as she moved forward. With each step, she relived the Sunday mornings she, Nick and Jake had slipped into the third row on the left. Same place each week. Jake was always such a good baby, never a whimper out of him no matter how long the sermon ran.

She slid into the cool wooden pew, their pew, and took a hymnal from the rack. The corners of the book were fuzzy from the hands of so many over the years who held it, sang the same songs.

She closed her eyes, and for the first time in a long time, cleared her mind and opened her heart.

A sunbeam came through the arched stained glass window, shimmering along the top of the pew in front of her. She reached out and let it dance across her hand, then tipped her hand up and then grasped the light, holding the rainbow.

After some quiet reflection, she went out the side door, and got the flower arrangement from her car. Nick was buried not too far from the church, near a huge oak. Strong, like he had been. The tree limbs rustled in the breeze. Everything had been lush and green last summer, yet looked different this time of year. As she walked through the small cemetery, she read the headstones of generations of past church members. Some young, some old, some recently passed, some gone so long that she could barely read the engraving on the worn stone anymore.

The marble-arched headstone read:

NICHOLAS JACOB ROLLY ~ Beloved Husband ~ Father ~ Friend.

Von had arranged all of it, even decided on the inscription. It had been something she couldn’t do, probably couldn’t do it now either. Kasey placed the flowers at the base of the headstone, then knelt, skimming her fingers over the word
Beloved
. Her heart swelled.

“Oh, Nick. I still miss you every day. Is talking to you here any different than talking to you like I do every day? I wish I knew that you heard me, that you knew.”

She hugged herself. “Jake’s been missing since the accident. Everyone believed he was dead, but I knew he was alive. I felt it. You knew, too, didn’t you? Oh Nick. I’ve needed you so much. You two are the best things in my life.”

She sat in the grass. “We’re so close to bringing Jake home.”

The sun broke through the clouds, and Kasey tipped her face to the warmth.

“Coming here has been impossible,” Kasey said. “Too final. Even now it tears my heart to face that you’re gone. I’ll always love you.”