OtherSide Of Fear (Outside The Ropes #3) (24 page)

I wanted it. I wanted to find out information about my father, but I couldn’t let myself even imagine how this conversation would go.

Gage was back at my side, and he grabbed my hand in his again. “You okay? You don’t have to do this. You can wait out here.”

I pulled out of his grip, wanting my own confidence, not just his. “I’m here. I’m going in.”

He nodded, still watching me.

The heavy door in front of us buzzed. An armed guard opened it and signaled us to step through. “Nikolai Rusnak has a private room for visitors. You won’t be going to the cafeteria with the others,” the guard explained as the door shut behind us.

“We know,” Gage responded and slid an arm around me, pulling me to walk beside him even though the hallway barely fit us side by side.

My heart echoed in my chest, thumping heavier with each step we took.

The hallway seemed to go on forever, and then we made a turn, and another. We went through several other doors that only opened for the guard’s key. Each hallway cooler and smaller, like we were walking to a basement, or dungeon. So many turns, I felt like a mouse in a maze. I looked towards Gage since he had been here several times before, he didn’t seem phased. This must be typical.

Then the guard stopped at a door with a small viewing window at the top. He unlocked it with his key card and then held it open. “You two can go in. We’ll bring Mr. Rusnak in shortly.”

The moment we stepped through, the door closed behind us with a deafening click.

Gage walked to the table set up in the center of the room and pulled out a chair. “Take a seat. He’ll be here soon, through that door.” He nodded to the door at the opposite side of the room.

I took the chair facing that door and waited.

Gage gripped my thigh under the table. “Let me do most of the talking.”

I nodded. My mouth was dry and sticky.

Gage slid off his wool coat, letting it rest on the back of his chair. I sunk into my puffy jacket, taking comfort in the warmth.

The door opened, and I held my breath. A guard held it open, and Nikolai walked through.

“You have an hour, sir,” the young guard said.

Nikolai turned towards him. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

The man nodded and closed the door.

I don’t know what I had expected—chains, an orange jumper, something that said prison—but this man was in black pants and a white button up shirt, nothing in the way of restraints. His grey streaked dark hair was slicked back from a hard face lined with age, but intimidating all the same. His aura was strong, but nothing about his stature was. He was average height and soft around the middle, soft everywhere really.

“Gage.” He had a smokers voice, and his smile showed yellow teeth. “Boy it’s been a while since you visited. We have much to discuss.”

Gage stood as Nikolai approached and embraced him.

“It’s hard since I’m in New York now.”

He waved him away. “Yeah I know. How’s the cannolis there? Playing nice?”

Gage laughed, light. “They don’t have a choice.”

“That a boy.” He slapped his shoulder, and then his dark eyes lit on me. “And this is the missus?”

I stood since everyone else was, and they were looking at me.

“This is Regan,” Gage gestured to me.

Nikolai reached for my hand and slowly brought it to his lips. “It’s my pleasure to meet you.”

His lips lingered on the back of my hand, his eyes running over my body.

“That’s enough.” Gage patted his shoulder, and Nikolai broke away with a laugh.

“Can’t blame an old man, I barely see pretty girls in here. And she is a looker. You chose well.” He stepped back, not hiding the fact that he was checking me out. “She looks like her mother. Olli warned me as much, but the similarities are striking.” He turned his focus to Gage as he took his seat. “For your sake, let’s hope she’s better behaved.”

I gripped the back of my chair, muscles rigid with anger.

“Sit down, doll.” Nikolai barely glanced to me as he gestured to the seat. Then he spoke directly to Gage, “We’ve got a lot to catch up on. But first, let’s deal with what she came here for.”

Gage pulled out my chair for me, talking me down with his eyes before he took his own seat.

“Regan didn’t grow up with family, and we’re looking for any connection we can find.”

“Well, Angela never talked to me about family. She didn’t talk about her past at all. Hell, I didn’t even know she had a kid till it was too late.”

Too late. I sat up in my chair, fingers digging into the edge of the seat. I wanted to block out that part, but I wanted to ask more, too.

“You didn’t know anyone from her past?” Gage slid his hand to the table, finger tapping slightly as he asked. He didn’t buy it either.

Nikolai leaned back, raising his chin as he spoke. “I did a background check on her. She had a grandmother, but she wasn’t anyone, probably dead now, and Angela never talked about her. I’m sure you could find that information easy enough.” He cleared his throat, looking between the two of us like he said all he could.

I knew about the grandmother, even met her once. But she kicked out Angela when she was young and didn’t want to claim me once Angela killed herself.

“Once you knew there was a child, did you ever find out who the father was?”

He shook his head. “It’s like I said, we never talked about it.”

“Then why did you have me bring her here if you knew you had no information?” Gage leaned forward, a demand in his tone.

Nikolai’s lip curled as he laughed, a sound that grated on my nerves. You could hear the spit gurgling in it. “I wanted to see her. Knew I may not get the opportunity to otherwise.”

“Son of a bitch,” Gage spoke low, but Nikolai laughed louder.

Gage’s shoulder tensed as he sat back. “Well she’s going now. Come on Regan.”

“Wait.” I raised my hand, forearm braced on the table. “Who was Jared?”

Nikolai cocked his head, looking at me. “Jared? Why I don’t know pretty thing, who was he?”

“Regan—” Gage tried to warn me, but I kept going. I wouldn’t mention his mom or say where I got my information.

“I heard you fought with Angela about Jared one night, that she dated Jared before you. Do you know his last name?”

“I don’t even know his first name. Jared? And I fought Angela, your mother, about him? When?”

“At the restaurant she worked at.”

Something passed through his eyes, maybe understanding, maybe a memory. “Ah, before she worked for me. Hmm, maybe I do remember some jerk off hanging around too much. Jared? Maybe.”

“That’s it? You don’t know anything else? Or maybe you can give me another name, someone else I can talk to?” I felt defeated. I had tried not to put too much hope in this, but the little I had was ripped away.

“You think that guy could be your Dad?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know anything.

“Well then, you have my apology. Neither of them fuckers deserved it. Not Angela and not him. But you, I’ll apologize to you. I’m not above that.”

“For what?” It was Gage who spoke my thoughts that couldn’t pass my throat.

“Well, she won’t be able to ask—what’s his name? Jake?” He waved it away. “That man interfered too much. It was a problem. So I solved it.” He leaned back, spreading his hands open, palms up.

Gage gripped my leg. “So that’s a dead end.”

Nikolai really laughed then, loud and throaty, flecks of spit flying on the table. His hand slapped down. “That’s one way to say it, kid.”

Gage sat up, turning to me, shielding me from the man opposite us. “I’m sorry.” His low voice made the other words a reality.

“That’s sweet.” Nikolai nodded to us. “But I’ve only got a little time left, and I need to speak with you alone, Gage. The doll has to go.”

“Okay. One minute.” He stood up, pulling me with him.

The door to the room opened and Gage walked me out side of it. His hands rubbed my upper arms. “Are you Okay? I can talk with him another day. We don’t have to stay?”

“No, it’s fine. Get it over with. I’ll wait in the car.” No emotions reached my voice or me. I extended a steady hand for the keys. I was blank and controlled, but I wanted out of this prison.

He paused for a moment, but I walked off with the guard after I had the keys, and he walked back into that room.

We made a few turns, went through a few doors, and that’s when I finally paused to notice. “This isn’t the way we came in,” I spoke aloud.

“We’re almost there.” The man spoke, slowing his walk beside me. “It’s right up here.”

He stopped at a door similar to the one Nikolai was in, my heart about burst when he slid his key in. I stepped back, but he gripped my arm, pushing me through the now open door. It slammed shut as I spun around to get out. I banged repeatedly on the metal door, arm vibrating as the sound ricocheted around the room.

“Sweetheart.”

I froze at the sound of his voice, ice sliding down my spine.

“Calm down, I only want to talk to you.”

I sucked down my fear as I turned to face a man who haunted my dreams.

Anatoli Rusnak.

HE WAS SAT BACK, RELAXED, WITH ONE hand resting on the table in front of him, looking every bit the predator I remember him being. He wore a blue prison jumper, but he moved like it was Armani.

I found my voice as he stood up.

“What the hell is going on?” I had my hand on the door handle behind me, but it wouldn’t budge.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while now.” His hand glided along the table as he floated around it. He moved like smoke, and his eyes burned into me. “Gage must not have told you.”

“He told me.” He had, when Rusnak first went to prison, but not recently. The door at my back kept me standing up straight as I pressed to it, wanting to melt through it.

He stopped his torturously slow path to me and cocked his head, deep lines creasing between his brow. “And yet, you still didn’t come.”

I wouldn’t pull my eyes from his challenging stare, but I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to. I didn’t owe him any explanation. Panic was taking firm hold of my thoughts. This place was corrupt, and I suddenly feared for Gage.

“Why?” His voice was sharp now, more of a command, and he stepped forward, invading my space.

“I had nothing to say to you.” I made my voice just as loud, responding in a second. I banged my fist on the door behind me, but didn’t dare to turn my back on him. It only shook under my fist, though. No one opened it. “I still don’t. You said everything the last time I saw you.”

The corner of his mouth slid up with a puff of laughter, and he took another step closer, so close I could feel his movements stir the air. “You can stop that now. They’ll open that door when I tell them to, not you. So sit down, we don’t have much time.”

I crossed my arms for strength and protection. One more step and he’d reach me, but at least I knew now our time was ticking. There was a sliver of comfort in that. “What do you want?”

“A lot has happened since I last saw you, and I’ll be getting released soon. It’s best we come to an understanding now.”

The temperature in the room dropped, the air burning my lungs. He gestured to the chair in front of the table, the same set up as the other room I was in with Nikolai and Gage. He moved to guide me, but I stepped forward before he could touch me and took a seat.

“So, you’re getting out?” That news felt like ropes binding me.

“Some people want me out, some people want to keep me in.” He shrugged, sinking into the seat opposite mine. “My sides winning.” He nodded to me. “Which side are you on?”

His question was a minefield with no safe answer, so I tried to evade. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t have any control in that decision.”

His lips pressed together in a tight smile. “You don’t have control in a lot of things. Which is why choosing the right side, the right people, is important for you.”

“What is it that you want?” I wanted out of this room. I wanted to get to the point. I wanted him to stop speaking in riddles that sounded like threats.

He ran his fingers over his lips, leaning back to look down on me. “I want to help you choose the right side.”

“I’m with Gage. That’s the only side I’m on.” I spoke through my fear, taking the risk of claiming a side. I didn’t want him thinking me the same girl he knew before. I wouldn’t turn to him for anything.

“Haven’t you figured it out by now?” He leaned on the table between us, eyes nailing me where I sat. “He can’t take care of you.”

I sat up taller, faking every movement, pretending to be unfazed, indifferent. I lifted one shoulder, but kept my eyes locked on him. I hadn’t looked away since the moment I faced him. “That’s not your concern.”

“It is.” Something wavered; his cool features broke for the briefest of moments, revealing something cold and dark underneath. “He failed to keep you safe. And when he tried to fix it, he fucked up, and I ended up here.” His features softened, slipping back into the salesman act. “If you would have stayed in my care, you would have stayed safe. You can’t deny that I kept you safe.”

“You kept me in a prison.” I couldn’t keep control of my anger. “And then you got rid of me, and Nick would have killed me or worse.”

He sat back, watching me, excitement flicking behind his aloof gaze.

“I never got rid of you. And I never mistreated you. There were other players, but they never touched you, not when you were with me.” He put his hand up, dismissing anything else I would say. “But we don’t have time to analyze the past. For the future, I want to make sure you know you can still be under my protection. As long as you are loyal. You and Gage.”

“Me and Gage?” At his slight nod, I continued, “Then Gage should be here for this conversation.”

“I wanted to talk to you first.”

“So you tricked me into meeting with you? You can’t possibly think Gage would be all right with this. I’m not all right with this.”

“You left me little choice.” He was matter of fact. “And as for Gage, you won’t tell him, not if you have any sense.”

I don’t know why the words sent chills over me, but my skin prickled. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”