Only Yesterday (45 page)

Reb Alter’s words conjured up the prayer house in his hometown,

all the people dressed in holiday clothes and the Cantor standing before the Ark and praying a holiday prayer with a holiday melody and the Priests running to climb onto the platform and bless the peo-ple and everyone bowing their head to receive the blessings from the Priests. Reb Alter looked straight ahead into the space of his dreary room and his lips trembled between his beard and his moustache. Well, said Reb Alter, the water is boiling, let’s pour us a cup of tea right away and drink. He stood up and extinguished the wicks and picked up a cup to pour tea for him. He saw that he didn’t have any tea essence or any tea leaves. He sighed and said, If there’s no tea here, there is sugar here. Blessed is He and blessed is His Name. He took a lump of sugar and put it in Isaac’s hand and said, A person should rejoice in what he has. Isn’t that so, Itzikl? Bless, my son, bless the blessing of Everything, for Him through Whose word everything came to be.

Isaac sliced himself a small piece of sugar and said, Reb Alter isn’t drinking? Reb Alter smiled and said, I’m drinking, I’m drinking. We’ve got, thank God, a cistern full of water, something not many people can say. Here in Jerusalem, I have learned to know that everything the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He gives is a precious gift from His hand. Outside the Land, where everything is in abundance, many times a person despises His gifts, especially water, but here we praise the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He for every single drop that He brings down on us from heaven, as it is written, drinketh water of the rain of heaven. And on that, Isaac, I’ve got a tremendous argument, and I’ll explain it to you with a parable. Once there was a king who had many sons. They went off into the world to conquer many lands. The king gave them abundant supplies for the journey, as is the wont of a king who has a lot. And the king had a youngest son of his old age whom he kept at home because he loved him the most and he gave him what he needed every day. As we found with Our Father Jacob, may he rest in peace, who didn’t want to send his son Benjamin away because he loved him the most. Perhaps the son should envy his other brothers for the king gave them a lot all at once, and this one he gave only what he needed every day? Drink, my son, drink another glass. You don’t want to?

Isaac wiped his mouth and stood up to go. Said Reb Alter, You’re in a hurry? Said Isaac, Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death and I am going to afternoon prayers at the Western Wall. Reb Alter was ashamed that the whole time he had talked about himself and didn’t ask Isaac about his affairs. He immediately began to laud Isaac’s mother and said, A great merit she earned that her son says Kaddish in Jerusalem. In truth, wherever people say Kaddish His Name Blessed-Be-He is sanctified in His worlds and He sanctifies His people Israel. But it befits the king that they play at the entrance of his palace, for the king dwells in his house and doesn’t have to leave. Said Isaac, Perhaps Reb Alter will go with me? Reb Alter stretched out a leg and Isaac saw it was swathed and bound in cotton and rags. He asked, What’s that? Said Reb Alter, This is how that came about: When I was blessed to stand on the Holy Ground, I slipped and broke my leg. That old man was wandering around in the upper worlds and didn’t pay attention to the few inches in front of him and slipped and fell. The punishment came from heaven, my son, for I was wandering around above my own stature, and a person in the Land of Israel has to know what is in front of him, for this ground is holy. And even though I live right near the Western Wall, I have not been blessed to pray there. Isaac groaned over that old man, how many efforts he made, how many troubles he had taken until he got to Jerusalem, and when he got to Jerusalem, he wasn’t blessed to pray even once at the Western Wall. Said Reb Alter, Am I more distinguished than all other Children of Israel? It’s enough for a person to dwell in Jerusalem. Now, my son, go and pray for the soul of your mother, may she rest in peace, and may she intercede for you. When Isaac left, Reb Alter called him back and said, Come and I’ll show you something amazing. Reb Alter took out a little notebook where he had written all the names of the boys he had brought into the Covenant of Our Father Abraham and he showed him Isaac’s

name among them.

c h a p t e r t w e n t y - f o u r

Broken Vessels

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On every single one of the stone steps on the way to the Western Wall are flocks of paupers, cripples, and blind men, some have no arms, some have lame legs, some have swollen necks, and some are swollen with hunger and some are shriveled with despair, and there are other invalids and diseased people, fragments of people whose Creator left them in the middle of His work and didn’t finish their creation, and when He left them, He left His hand on them and increased their torments. Or their Creator did finish them and strict justice struck them. And every step down had a sorrow greater than the last one. When you have descended all those stairs, you see a bundle of rags. You think they’re rags, but they are a woman and her daughter, and it’s not clear if the daughter is younger than her mother, but it is clear that they have the same calamity of hunger. Their eyes look straight ahead, but it’s not the eyes that seem to be looking, but the pus in the eyes. Those remnants of bodies lie before our precious Temple that was destroyed, a place where the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He heard every prayer and every supplication of any child of Israel and filled his request, and now that it is destroyed, they pray and supplicate and request and the prayer isn’t heard. And if it is heard, it achieves only half, a person’s soul is saved but his body isn’t.

Old men and women come and go, and as they walk, they bend over at every single stair and give their brothers and sisters a fig or a date or a piece of sugar or a penny. It’s forbidden to find fault with the principles of the Holy One, that He gives this one a lot and that one He doesn’t give anything. Here it must be said that He did not give the former much more than the latter. But some have con-

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trol over their limbs and take from their own mouths and give to oth-ers. Isaac bent over every single pauper and gave him something. And as he gave them, he soothed them with his eyes, as if to say, Don’t grumble at me that I am not sitting with you and don’t suffer as you do. As long as there was a penny in his hand, he gave. When his pennies ran out and the paupers didn’t, he spread out his hands and showed that they were empty. They started pulling him by his clothes and accompanying him with wailing until he fled and pressed into the crowded square of the Western Wall. And here other paupers joined him, who were worse off than the first ones.

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The square is full of men and women, old men and old women. Some sit on benches and stools with books in their hands, others stand and recite Psalms, some in a thin murmur, others with shouts and weeping. Old men stand on this side and embrace the stones of the Western Wall, and old women stand on that side and cover the stones with tears. Between the stones grasses grow along with the letters of names and requests written there by those who are weary with grief and in need of salvation. And the strip of the firmament stands in its purity, like an eye from above watching from the abode of His holiness from heaven over Israel and over the Land He gave us. Our brothers, the sons of Ishmael our uncle, who seized the houses next to the Western Wall, come and go, this one with a dung basin on his head and a loaf of bread on it, and that one riding on a donkey car-rying manure, and as they walk they press the worshippers so their prayers won’t rise and bring redemption. And men and women tourists, descendants of Jacob’s brother, stand and point their sticks at the stones of the Destruction and at the Jews weeping over their own destruction. When Isaac came, the Sephardi usher grabbed him and called out
Feter, tsindn a likhtl
, that is, Uncle, light a candle, and into his hand he thrust an oil wick for him to light and to give him a penny. Isaac had often been to the Western Wall before, but had never gotten close to it because of his humility. Now that he said Kaddish, he approached the holy stones as if by himself. His heart started pounding and his legs tottered. And along with the tottering of his

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legs and the pounding of his heart, his voice went with the voice of all those standing at the Western Wall who answered after him, Amen, May His great Name be blessed forever and ever.

Darkness fell. But daylight still gleamed between the stones of the Western Wall. The men and women tourists went off and the Arab neighbors of the Western Wall gathered in their houses, and a silence of mercy settled over the holy stones and over the square of the Western Wall. The worshippers tightened their belts and stood up to recite the evening prayer. Between the stones of the Western Wall, a sad voice was heard, Behold, bless ye the Lord, all ye servants of the Lord, which by night stand in the house of the Lord. The stones were swallowed up in the gloom, and all the worshippers be-came one mass before the Lord. Suddenly the moon came out to light the earth. The worshippers finished their prayer and returned to their homes, this one assisting that one and that one assisting this one to climb the stairs.

Good and sweet are the nights of Jerusalem. As if the Almighty is sorry at night for the evil He did to the city in the day. A wind blows and dust doesn’t fly. The moon dispatches her light, and a fine fragrance rises from among the grasses of the rocks. Everyone who can study sits in his house or in the study house and studies, and those who can’t study recite Psalms. You study a page of Talmud and you become their partner, you read the Book of Psalms and the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He adds your tears to their tears. Everything that was far away from you is close to your heart now, even our God in Heaven is close.

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From One Issue to Another

Isaac Is About to Go to Jaffa

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Isaac found a tenant for his room, who paid him back a bit of what he had paid the landlord, and the landlord gave in to entreaties and agreed to rent it on those conditions he set for every other tenant, that he wouldn’t do any work in his room that profanes the Sabbath publicly, not cook on a Primus stove on the Sabbath because it makes noise, and not stand at the window with a cigarette in his mouth on the Sabbath. If his lease was up and the landlord needed his room, he would leave and not make any claims on it. And if he brought a second tenant into the room, the same conditions applied to him, and one-third would be added to the rent. That is, if he brought one, but if he brought two or three, he would add as they agreed. And they would launder shirts and drink from the cistern like the rest of the residents of the house. And if water was scarce, they would launder their clothes somewhere else. All those conditions were written down, not because the landlord is a hard man or because clarity is good for everyone, so as not to raise any complaints about him, but because he is fond of the Holy Tongue. To show you that he mastered all its rules. When the tenant agreed and rented the room, Isaac had no more excuse to postpone his trip.

He went to Mahane Yehuda to hire a wagon to go to Jaffa tomorrow. Even though the train is more comfortable and takes less time and costs a quarter less than a Maguida, just like hiring a wagon for the trip. When the train saw that wagon owners were competing with it, it added a third car for simple people who don’t want luxu-ries, but the train goes by day and wagons go by night, and thus is available all day long.

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   After he arranged the trip, he returned to his room and examined his things so as not to leave behind in Jerusalem what he needed in Jaffa, and not to take with him to Jaffa what he wanted to leave behind in Jerusalem. He examined every place he put food and ate his fill and went to bed to restore his strength for the trip.
   

   His thoughts came and drove out his sleep. He thought about Shifra, whom he was leaving because of Sonya, and about Sonya, who had left him. And even though she had left him, he felt he had to talk with her, for as long as their relationship wasn’t resolved, he couldn’t regard himself as a free man. When he had eagerly pursued Sonya, he didn’t ask if he was a free man, but when he moved away from her, he regarded himself as bound.
   

   An hour passed and sleep still didn’t come. He started saying soft words to himself to make himself rest, At any rate, I must not complain. All the days I have been in the Land of Israel, I have been healthy and haven’t spent even one day in the hospital, unlike most of my comrades who suffer from illnesses, and all of them are sick with malaria or other diseases found in the Land, since not everybody eats regularly and they don’t live like human beings and they sap their strength in assemblies and meetings and debates. And when diseases strike a person they don’t leave him alone. And I make a living and my clothes are not ragged. I don’t go to bed without my supper and I get up early and have something to eat, either vegetables or an egg, either a cup of tea or cocoa. Isaac dismissed his thoughts and closed his eyes to sleep. His events came into his mind. First came the small events that come before every trip, then came the other events. First came the last events, then came the first events. First they all came together, then each detail appeared individually. Suddenly he found himself with his brother Yudel in the same bed. This one pulls the blanket this way and that one pulls the blanket that way. Yudel was filled with anger and threw the pillow under their heads and Isaac fell into the sea. He picked up a hoe to hoe and the sea was filled with myriads of colors. Victor’s mare saw and started cheering. Embroidered dogs dropped out of her mouth with Hirsh Wolf Ata-manot written on them.
   

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   Isaac woke with a start and started thinking about his trip again. He stretched his hands up and said, You O God, help me. What do You care if my affairs end well. And in the middle of his prayer, he stopped until God would weigh his actions. He turned over and started calculating how much money he had and how many days he could be idle. His brother Yudele comes and his face is gloomy and his right sleeve is threadbare, like scribes who wear out their sleeve as they write, and he started complaining about his sisters who don’t leave him even a tiny place to sit and copy his poems. Isaac was filled with pity for his brother and thought to himself, If I didn’t have to go to Jaffa, I would buy him a silver pen made at Bezalel. And Isaac already saw the silver pen in the hands of his younger brother, as he sits and writes rhymes about the legend of Reb Yudel Hasid, their ancestor. Isaac wept tears of joy. But, said Isaac, how will I spend ten Francs on a pen when I have to go to Jaffa? How simple it would be if not for that action. But acting comes before thinking, and after an action is done thinking comes and says, How simple it would be if it weren’t done. Where were you before we got into a bad deal?
   

   Hope, that is wont to show a smiling face, didn’t turn its face away from Isaac. It began to amuse him and show him what would be when all his business in Jaffa was finished and he returned to Jerusalem. Isaac let the power of imagination imagine what it imagined. And to add reinforcements, he evoked Shifra’s grandfather and Shifra’s grandmother as they welcomed him. Moreover, all the time we were on the sea, they showed me an angry face and in Jerusalem they smiled at me. And it would have been right if they had kept me at a distance, for an iron wall separates the old from the young here, and they have nothing in common, and old people who have left the vain pleasures of this world to be buried in the Land of Israel, for them our settlement in the Land is difficult to accept, for our whole settlement in the Land is earthly. Yet they were affectionate to me and were close to me as if I were their relative. They didn’t foresee it, but their luck did. And even if that old man became close to me only to fill the Commandment: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him, he nevertheless blessed me that I would find my mate.
   

   The Master of Dreams wasn’t watching over the wagon Isaac hired or over the bed he lay on or the good thoughts that made his sleep pleasant. And when he dozed off, he came and took him to the railroad station, with all his belongings, even those he had left be-hind in Jerusalem, and he made him run from car to car. Isaac held onto his belongings and was crowded into a crowded car. Shifra came and took his hands. He threw away his belongings and took her hands. And she interlaced her fingers in his and started weeping. So he began to soothe her and stroke her head, as everyone looked at them and whispered about them. They stood and rode until they came to wherever it was they came to.
   

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   And some of what had been shown him in the dream, he saw when he was awake. There was a pharmacist in Meah Shearim and Isaac painted a sign for him. He went to collect his fee and he had it in hand. At that moment, Shifra came to get medicine for her father and that medicine wasn’t in the pharmacy. The pharmacist went to bring it from somewhere else, as pharmacists are wont to take from one another and repay one another. Isaac was left alone with Shifra in the pharmacy. Isaac saw that no person was listening to them. So he said to Shifra, I’m going to Jaffa. He saw that she was sad. He said to himself, I’ll count to sixty and if nobody enters in the meantime, it’s a sign that her spirit is sad because I’m going. He counted to sixty and again to sixty, and no one came. He took her hand in his and said, I’ll write to you. Shifra was shocked and said, May he not write me. He asked, Why? She whispered, So the neighbors won’t be able to slander us. Said Isaac, If so, what shall we do? She looked at him as if asking for advice. Isaac drew up his courage and squeezed her hand and didn’t let go of it until the pharmacist’s footsteps were heard.