Only With You (7 page)

Chapter Eight

Ryder

“You’re coming out with me tonight, you bum,” Jake said when he burst into our room on
Friday night. “And here.”

I caught what he’d thrown at me. It was a new iPhone.

“You bought me a phone?” I asked, perplexed by the gesture.

He hauled himself up onto the platform and turned to face me. “My dad did technically
, since it was his credit card, but yeah. I felt guilty about the whole shoving Kirsten onto you thing, so I figured I’d make amends. She told me what happened, that Syd texted you, and then you shattered your phone.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what happened, but w
hatever. I think I decided I have to move on. I can’t do this anymore. I’m making myself crazy.”

“What are you talking about
? She texted you. Now you have a phone. Text her back.”

I
shrugged. “Maybe later.”

But I knew I wouldn’t do it. I was going to force myself to cut ties for good.

“Or maybe, you should make the grand gesture and show up at her concert in Tampa tonight? Huh? What do you think about that? I’ll go with you.”

I
laughed out loud, I was so shocked that he was offering, but I’d decided early that morning that I needed to stop obsessing over Sydney Chase. If she hadn’t been able to bring herself to even acknowledge my presence after sending me tickets to her show, I couldn’t expect that things could ever be the way they were between us again. She never would have done that before. Hell, during her last tour, she’d sung directly to me, and once she’d even hauled me up on stage and made me dance with her. She’d treated me like her best friend, like the guy I’d been for years, but I had to face the facts that I wasn’t that guy anymore.

How she’d treated me on Wednesday night
had been a cold dismissal, and I just needed to see it for what it was. She was letting go. I found it interesting that she waited several hours to text me. She’d had to have known I was back in Gainesville already. It was pretty convenient if you asked me.

“Nah, that’s okay. I think I’m just going
to let it go.”

“No, you’re not,
but I’ll believe it for a night,” Jake said, making me glare at him “Now get dressed. We’re going out for beers.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“I don’t care. I let you wallow for two days. Enough. You’re going to go out and at least pretend like you’re having fun, you hear me?”

“Why do I have to go
out? I’m watching this.”

I gestured to the TV where
Survivorman
was on.

Jake glanced at the TV. “I’ll tell you what happens. He gets hungry, so he eats a bug or a snake, then he sleeps outside and hikes some more.
Oh, and maybe if you’re lucky, he’ll boil his own piss and drink it to stay hydrated. It’s riveting stuff, really.”

“Screw you, asshole,” I said, but I switched off the TV.
He was half right.

Jake took a deep breath. “Look, those girls we met
at the concert the other night, they want to get together. Sarah’s friend thought you were cute.”

“I am cute.”

“No, you’re fucking ugly, and apparently her friend has no taste.”

I smiled and threw my pillow at him. He ducked and smacked my leg.

“Come on. Get in the shower. We’ll go out. It’ll be chill.”

Nights with Jake were never chill, but whatever. I probably needed to get out of the house after two days of not moving except to
go to class and to let the pizza guy in. We were practically friends at this point he’d come by so much, and honestly he was probably starting to think I was a little pathetic.
I
thought I was pathetic.

An hour later Jake was driving south on
I-75 doing eighty-five miles an hour. I just about thought he was going to take me to Café Risqué until he thankfully drove by the exit and kept going. I wasn’t in the mood for a strip club.

“Um, dude, where are we going?” I finally asked when we passed Ocala.
We were headed toward a long stretch of road that was pretty much just farms and cow pastures for miles.

“Tampa.”

“Tampa?! No fucking way. I’m not going to that concert!”

I about yanked the wheel away from him so he’d turn around.

“Relax,” he said, looking over at me “We’re not going to the concert. Besides, it already started.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be concerned that he knew that.

“Then what are we doing?”

“I told you, we’re having a chill night.”

“In Tampa? That’s two hours away.”

“Did you not hear me say the girls from
Wednesday night wanted to hang out?”

“I heard you, but I t
hought they were in Gainesville for the weekend or something. Don’t they live in Orlando?”

He shook his head. “Sarah does, but her friend – the friend you’re going to bone – goes to USF
– in Tampa.”

“
I know where USF is, and for the record, I’m not boning anyone,” I told him.

“
Hey, you’re not from around here, so I was just making sure. Besides, I don’t buy that you’re not going to bone this chick. She wants you.”

“Whatever.
I’m not interested.”

“Dude, you
never
take my advice, but tonight you will. You’ll tap that hot freshman ass and be done with it.”

Yeah, that sounded exactly like what I wanted to do that night.

And that was when my brain actually registered what I’d been thinking. I wondered when exactly my balls had been severed, because I was acting like a total chick. Not that I was a dirtbag who screwed anything that moved. No, that was my illustrious roommate, but I was twenty years old. I wasn’t immune to having fun, and I wasn’t immune to pretty girls who wanted in my pants.

The girl from the other night had been cute, and if she was into me, what would a little flirt
ing harm, or maybe even some making out? And hell, if she wanted to invite me back to her dorm room, maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to that. Maybe Jake was right, and I just needed to get laid.

Two hours later, we were all
at a table at a bar near USF. Jake and I had fake IDs, but the girls didn’t, so Jake let them take sips of his beer when no one was looking. I fiddled with my new phone, having re-downloaded all of my apps and my contacts on the drive down.

It had not
really been my intention to ignore the blond next to me who was definitely interested, but I’d made the mistake of going on Twitter as we were driving to the bar, and I’d seen all the posts Sydney had sent out after her concert thanking her fans and telling them how awesome the Tampa crowd had been. I should have stopped following her, but I never did, and now I was regretting it.

And Jake was now right about something else.
I couldn’t stay away from her no matter how much I wanted to. And she was so close by.

She was in Tampa. I was in Tampa. And I had a phone.
I wondered if that had been Jake’s evil plan all along. Maybe he didn’t want me to sleep with the blond. Maybe he wanted me to work up the nerve to call Sydney.

Yeah, probably not. It was Jake after all. He wasn’t that diabolical – or smart for that matter.

Yet four beers in, I decided to take action since I had a mild buzz going, and the conversation around me was boring. I sent Syd a text.

You were really great tonight.

It wasn’t technically a lie, since although I hadn’t been at the show, I knew she’d been great. I set my phone down after she didn’t respond right away. I wondered if she would. She was probably pissed about the text she’d thought I’d sent the night of the concert.

“
Who are you texting,” the blond girl, whose name I’d honestly already forgotten, asked me.

She’d been attempting to flirt with me all night, but I’d only half paid attention to her. A part of me felt bad, but another part didn’t. I hadn’t exactly agreed to hang out with her. I’d been pretty much coerced.

“My friend,” I said, wishing that was the case.

“Is it a girl?”

S
he pouted at me while she waited for my answer.

“Yes,” I said, earning myself a kick from Jake under the table.

I grunted as silently as I could and glared at him. He shook his head and gave me a look that said ‘Dude, occupy the friend. I’m this close to getting head’.

And he was probably right. The brunette he was with was practically sucking his tongue down her throat. She looked about ready to crawl under the table and blow him right there. And it would not have been the first time that happened to Jake.
Nor would it have been the first time I’d been there when it happened. I’d never look at Chicken Marsala the same way again.

I was about to comply
with his request to entertain the friend when my phone dinged, and I looked down to see a reply from Sydney.

Oh, so he finally decides to
respond to me.

I was going to go out on a limb and assume
that was meant to be sarcastic and that she was mad at me. Well, two could play that game.

So t
he next time I’m five feet from you, are you going to pretend I’m not there? That you can’t see me?

Take that.

I hate you,
she texted back, and it actually made me smile. She only told me she hated me when she didn’t mean it.

No, you don’t. You love me.

How easy it was for us to slide right back into what felt like normal. We’d been doing it for so many years. I actually forgot for a few seconds that things were weird.

But then Sydney didn’t respond for a few minutes, and I wondered if she really was mad and that she really did hate me.

Syd?

I’m here.

You okay?

I held my breath as I waited for her to respond.

Not really. I’m sorry about the other night and the past five months. I miss you, and I’m sorry – for everything.

And that ladies and gentlemen is what we like to call just putting it out there
without actually saying it. She was apologizing for rejecting me. I knew that, and it sucked, because all I wanted was for her to tell me that she’d made a mistake and she actually wanted to be with me. I was so pitiful.

Of course, she didn’t say that, so I decided to just respond to her apology.

I’m sorry too. You know I love you – even after all the shit from the last few months.

I know. So, did you
really come to the show tonight?

She was finally acknowledging my initial text.
I took a deep breath and responded.

No, but I didn’t need to be there to know you were great. You’re always great.

It seemed like ages before she responded.
Are you going to tell me I looked like a hot piece of ass again?

I sighed.
That actually wasn’t me. I’m sorry. Someone swiped my phone, texted you, and then smashed it against the wall. I just got a new phone today.

Wow, I didn’t think that could have sounded any less believable.

Weird story, but okay. I guess that’s why I’m just now hearing from you?

Yeah, it is. Sorry – again.

That actually makes me feel a little better. I don’t enjoy being blown off.

Neither do I!

Yeah, me neither.
I sent back to her. She needed to know how I felt.

Point taken.
What are you doing now?

Having beers in a bar.

With who?

Jake.

I left out the part about the two girls. She didn’t need to know about them. I never talked to Syd about girls. I never had.

Lucky guy. I wish I could join you.

Shit, me too. Now all I wanted was to see her. This was the first genuine conversation we’d had in months.

Are you still in Tampa?
I sent to her, holding my breath while I waited for her response.

Yeah
, we leave in the AM. I wish I had time to drive up and see you. I need a Ryder hug.

Damn, did she have to say that? How this girl had the ability to keep me whipped when I wasn’t even her boyfriend was beyond me, but I was practically bent over a barrel for her.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I responded.

Oh yeah
?

Now that she said
what she had, all I could think about was what it was like to hold her, touch her face, just be close to her. I just knew I was opening myself wide up to be slaughtered if I let her back in, if we were friends again, because I’d have to remember that friends was all we could be. I’d never get what I wanted.