One More Day (26 page)

"What, you going with me?"

Colby nodded.  "Gotta make sure you don't fuck that up, man.  Seriously, though.  You thought about that yet?"

"Yeah," Ryan said.  "Know what I'm gonna do, too."

"Don't make it too complicated," the old man said.  "My wife said that men always try to go over the top, and all they want is a bended knee."

Ryan smiled.  "See, everyone's up in my shit."  He sighed deeply.  "That's kinda what I have planned.  It's just the where that's the deal."

"Someplace special," the old man said.  "You'll remember that forever.  That damned ring sits in your pocket like a lead brick, and you're positive she can see it there, but you want to surprise her."  He smiled wistfully.  "And when she realizes what you're doing, you'll swear it takes a year before she manages to answer you."

"Yeah," Ryan sighed.  "I just hope it's the right answer."

Colby tapped his arm.  "She already said I could be the maid of honor, man.  I think you're good."

Ryan closed his eyes and smiled.  "Doesn't mean I won't be scared as shit."

The old man nodded.  "Oh, you will be.  And you'll be sure you're messing up every line that you worked so hard to think of.  She won't see it like that.  Her hands will be shaking so hard when you put that ring on, that you'll swear you're gonna drop it."

"Where ya taking her?" Colby asked.

Ryan chuckled.  "Not me.  Gonna need your help for this."

"I'm all in," Colby swore.  "What do we need?"

Ryan smiled.  "She needs to be good enough to walk.  That's all.  I'm gonna get it right this time."

Chapter 27

Since Mack's dad only had a few days to see her, both Colby and Ryan were more than happy to give him as much time with her as he needed.  That's why, the next day, the two guys were lounging in the visitor's room.  Colby was watching daytime television, and Ryan had fallen asleep in the reclining chair.

The door swung open and Dr. Janis peeked her head in.  "Colby?  Ryan?"

"He's passed out," Colby said.

"Well, wake him," she said.  "We have results.  I figure I can give this to all of you at the same time."

"What?" Ryan asked, rubbing at his face.

"Results are back, bro," Colby said, pulling on his shoes.

Dr. Janis smiled and left, leaving them both to look at each other hopefully.  They scrambled to follow.  Ryan didn't even bother to grab a long sleeve shirt in his haste.  He was half way down the hall when he realized it, then decided to blame Mack.  She'd made him a lot less paranoid about what others would think of his inked arm.

Side by side, they pushed into the room.  Mack lay quietly, her father holding her hand, but she looked up with a smile.  It was weak, but it was there.  Then her eyes moved back to the doctor, and a flicker of fear showed before she could control it.  They all knew these results were important.

"Sit down, all of you," Dr. Janis said.  "Chair, floor, edge of the bed.  I don't care."

Doug claimed the one chair in the room.  Ryan moved to the far side and sat on the bed beside Mack's hip, and Colby moved next to him, sitting by her feet.  None of them spoke a word.

"I just received the pathology.  I was downstairs, but thought you all would want to hear this right away.  I'm going to give you the technical terms first, then explain what this means.  I promise I will answer all of your questions, for as long as you need it, ok?"

Mack nodded.  Ryan's hand moved to her knee and rested on it lightly.  Colby just clenched his hands in his lap as he sucked on his lower lip.  Her father clasped his hands in his lap, almost as if he was praying.

"Margins appear clean and clear of all signs of malignant neoplasm.."

She went on, but Mack saw Ryan's shoulders relax, and he tilted his head back as he closed his eyes.  He rubbed her leg, then reached over and grabbed Colby's shoulder.  She tried to make sense of the medical jargon, but it was more than she understood.  Words like squamous cell carcinoma meant so much, yet so little.  She tried to guess if Ryan's reaction was a good one, or a very bad one, but she was too scared.

Dr. Janis cleared her throat and continued reading.  "Post operative scans show no areas of concern at this time.  Recommend additional screening in four to six weeks for verification."

"Really?" Ryan asked, smiling.

"Really," Dr. Janis said.

"I'm confused," Mack admitted.

"They got it, Mack," he said.  "They cut it all out, and can't find it anywhere else."

"Thank god," Colby breathed.

But the doctor held up her hand.  "This is good news, Mackenzie.  This is amazing news, but I have to give you the bad news with it.  There's a chance that it has spread, but we just can't see it.  That's why we can't declare you in remission yet.  You will still need chemoradiation, to be sure that we got it all, and we will do all of those wonderful scans again."

"But?"

Dr. Janis smiled.  "But there's no sign of cancer in your body at this time."

"What are the chances it will come back?" Doug asked.

"Slim," Dr. Janis said.  "So long as she tests clean again in four weeks, the chances of a recurrence are less than fifteen percent.  That isn't to say she can't get some other form of cancer, but her odds of that are no different than anyone else's."

Ryan wiped at his eyes.  "When can she go home?"

"As soon as she can walk and urinate on her own.  Another day?  Maybe three at most.  This isn't over, Mackenzie, but you're on the down hill side."

"And I won," she said, laying her head back.  "I'm gonna live for one more day, and pretty soon I'll even be all better."

"Yeah," Colby breathed, running his finger along the dancer tattoo.  "I'm taking you for a fucking ride on that bike when you're good again."

Ryan chuckled at that, but didn't refuse.

"How'd she get it?" Doug asked.

"We can't be sure," Dr. Janis said.  "Her HPV tests came back negative, but it's not a perfectly reliable test.  It could be genetic factors, it could be from prolonged use of birth control, it could be a hard to detect strain of HPV.  At this time there's no way to be sure."

"K.  So what does she need to do to not get sick again?" He was acting just like a paranoid father.

"Same thing as anyone else." Dr. Janis looked at Mack.  "Granted, you will need to be religious about your check-ups."

"She will be," Ryan swore. 

"Then that's all we can do.  Make sure we've truly got this, and make sure it doesn't come back."  The doctor smiled at Mack.  "I do like being able to give good news."

Mack nodded.  Most of it was good news, but not all.  She knew that this had changed her life forever.  "Guys, can I have a moment with Ryan?" she asked.

"Grats, Mack," Colby said, patting her leg.  "C'mon, Doug.  I'll show you how good the coffee is here."

"Thanks, Doc," Doug said, pulling himself to his feet. 

The three of them left, and Colby gently pulled the door closed behind them, tossing her one last, very relieved smile.  Mack waited until the men had moved down the hall before reaching up to take Ryan's hand.

"Hey?"

"Yeah?" he asked, shifting a bit closer.

"You know they fucked me up pretty bad, right?

"They had to cut half of you out," he said.  "Kinda leaves a scar or two."

"Yeah, but - "  She swallowed and looked down at their hands.  "Ryan?  It's not normal down there."

"I know."  He raised her hand and kissed it.  "Mack, how long have we been together?"

"Almost a month?"

"How many times have I complained about our sex life?"

"Never," she whispered.

"Right.  Never.  It's kinda low on my list of priorities.  There's a whole lot of things that matter so much more, Mack."

"So, you don't wanna," she glanced away again.  "I mean..."

He sighed and gripped her hand a bit tighter.  "Hey?  Mack.  I love you.  I love being with you, I love seeing you smile, or watching you draw.  I love that you're brilliant, and sweet, and that you don't back down when Colby's on a tirade.  I love that you two are friends, and that he's tattooed you on his arm for strength."  He reached up with his other hand and traced the backs of his fingers down her face.  "I love that you make me feel like a good looking man, and a hero."

She smiled at that and met his eyes, finally.

"I also think you're beautiful.  Fat or skinny, bald or with long hair.  You're beautiful, Mack.  You turn me on, and I sure as hell think of all the things I want to do to you.  Yeah, I wanna make love to you.  God, I want that so bad, but I want the other things more."

"What if it's no good?"

He laughed.  "Baby, Dr. Janis talked to me, too.  Problem won't be if it's any good for me."

"Um," she giggled and glanced away.

"So what if there'll be a few things to think about.  So discussing it ends up a little clinical.  Trust me, doesn't mean I'm any less interested.  Ok?"

"You keep saying that."

"Because I mean it.  Damn, Mack.  The doctor just told me you have a hot, tight, little pussy, and I'm supposed to fuck you three times a week or more.  To be the damned hero of this story, I have to sleep with the super hot chick that is gonna get me off like a damned freight train.  Better?"

"Oh."

"Here's the problem," Ryan went on.  "Because it's fucking amazing for me, doesn't mean it will be for you.  You might not like it, or it might hurt.  I could make you bleed, or get too excited."  He sighed.  "Shit.  Mack, I worry about this shit as much as you do, but I've decided it doesn't matter.  I'll figure out a way to keep you happy." 

"I just feel like..." she sighed and glanced away, not even bothering to finish the sentence.

"Sweetie, can I tell you something?" he asked, shifting a bit on the bed.

"Yeah."

Ryan nodded and took a long deep breath, then sighed.  "I'm kinda scared about the whole thing, too.  You've built me up to be this perfect guy in your head, and I'm not."  He pulled his hand free and rubbed at the corner of his mouth, glancing away.  "Mack, what if I'm shit in bed?"

"What?"

He shrugged.  "Not like I've really had performance reports, ya know?  And now I don't just have to worry about getting you off, but not hurting you?  God, I'm gonna be terrified, but I keep just telling myself that we have plenty of time, now, to make it all work.

"Yeah," she said.  "I'm really going to be ok?"

"Yeah," he promised.  "Looks like you're going to be just fine.  I just hope you like me as much when you don't need me."

"God, Ryan!"  She giggled.  "Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm kinda boring."

"You love art, and poetry, and really bad chick flicks."

He shrugged.  "I'm still just a fuck up who dropped out of school and runs a fucking tattoo parlor, Mack.  I won't ever be anything else.  One day, I'll be wrinkled and bald, and still just a damned drop out that does tattoos."

"And a very nice guy," she said.  "Ryan, I'm a mess.  I dropped out of school - "

"College, not the same."

She shrugged that away.  "I'm living off your charity."

"Bull shit.  You design more work than Colby and I combined, and we've done more tattoos each night because of it."

"And my dad is flipping out because I'm not gonna have kids," she said softly.

"What about you?" he asked.

Mack shrugged.

"Seriously?  That's all I get after making comments about your hot, tight, little pussy?"

She laughed, but shrugged again.  "I dunno, Ryan.  I can't have them, so what difference does it make?"

"I could probably hire another artist, and we could get a nice house with a back yard.  Do all the right things to pass the checks, and adopt a few, if that's what you want."

"Not really."

"K.  Then what do you want, Mack?" he asked gently.

"You're gonna laugh." 

"Doubt it."  Ryan rubbed her hand with his, refusing to let go.  "C'mon, sweetie.  Let me in just a little."

"I want a puppy."

He couldn't help it.  He laughed.  Trying to control it, he pressed his lips together and nodded.  "What kind of puppy?"

"I dunno.  Something that's at the pound.  A cute one, but it'd mess up the floors."

"Laminate," he said.  "Holds up to anything."

"Can it come to the shop?"

"Fuck yeah," Ryan said.  "The back yard is kinda crappy though."

"So not a Great Dane," she said with a smile.  "I've always wanted a dog, Ryan, but couldn't have one.  I never really thought about kids.  Always thought I'd have more time, but I wanted a dog."

"Mack, you can have anything you want.  And don't tell, but I like dogs."

"Can it sleep on the bed?"  She bit her lip, and he knew she was teasing him.

"So long as it doesn't lick my ass when I'm making out with you, sure."

Her eyes went wide and Mack slapped her hand over her mouth.  "Oh, that would be funny!"

"For you maybe," he said.  "So when you get done with all of this, you still gonna keep me around?"

"You still want me to stick around?" she asked.

He grinned.  "Mack, I swear to god I do not have some complex that makes me have a thing for sick chicks.  I just kinda had a thing for you long before all of this started.  Figured I'd better not fuck this up."  He reached down and pulled her hand to his lips.  "Mackenzie.  It's such a perfect name.  I tried for so long to guess, and that is not one that came to mind."

"Why didn't you just ask?"

He shrugged.  "Because you'd shoot me down.  Look, I always have coffee at the shop, Mack.  I fucking live next door, but I ran out one day, so bought a cup before I ran to the store.  I had that paper cup in my hand, turned around, and saw the most beautiful woman in the world walk through the door.  You brushed your hair over your shoulder, and I paused.  I realized the fucking table beside me was empty, so sat down, and watched you make your way through the line like I was a damned stalker."

She giggled, a little flush touching her cheeks.

"Then you sat down at that table, and pulled out - of all things - a sketch pad!  You were wearing this black suit with a baby blue shirt, and these heels.  I figured you were some executive, working on a project or something, so didn't say anything.  Figured you might come back, so started showing up."

While he spoke her mouth had fallen open.  She remembered that outfit perfectly; she hadn't worn it again.  "Ryan?"