One More Day (22 page)

"Sounds like you're pretty fond of him?"

"Yeah," Mack said softly.  "I'm in love with him, but I never got the chance to say it."

"You want me to call him?" she asked, smiling hopefully.

Shaking her head, Mack said, "No.  Not until this is done.  Not until we know if it's all gone."

"We won't be sure of that for months," the doctor said softly.

Mack just nodded.  "I know.  It gives me something to work for and nothing to lose."

Dr. Janis patted her hand gently, then left her with a pair of nurses.  Mack watched her walk to the circular desk and speak with Theresa - her nurse - gesturing back toward the room.  Theresa nodded and smiled, then said something back.  Mack wasn't sure what it was, but she assumed they were talking about her.  The next thing she knew, her entire bed was being wheeled down the hall.

Chapter 23

The sun was streaming through the windows when Ryan finally woke, which was odd, because Mack usually stirred, reminding him to get her medications before the sun was that high.  He sat up suddenly and gasped.  That also meant they'd slept through her treatment!

Wrenching himself awake, he realized he was alone in bed.  His phone lay on the night stand, but when he reached over to grab it, his foot kicked something.  He checked the phone first, seeing that the alarm had been canceled, then patted in the covers for whatever he'd kicked.  His hand closed on a cardboard covered sketch pad, the spiral binding something his hand would know in the dark.

He recognized it before he even flipped the cover open.  His groggy mind trying to figure out why Mack would have left it at the foot of the bed, he flipped through the pictures, stopping at a page filled with text.  When he read the first words, he felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment, shivers of cold coursing across his skin.

Ryan,

I'm sorry to do this to you.  I know you tried hard to be kind, but this isn't working for me anymore.  I'm moving out.  The times we had together were wonderful, but I need something more.  I need to be free, not pampered like some kind of sick wilting flower, too delicate to touch.

Go live your life, Ryan, and let me live mine.  Having cancer has made me aware of just how fleeting things are, and that I can't simply sit around waiting for tomorrow.  I can't keep living like this, repeating day after day, never progressing.  I'm done.  We're over.

Find someone who deserves you more than I did.

-Mack

The better days of life were ours;

         The worst can be but mine:

The sun that cheers, the storm that lowers,

         Shall never more be thine.

He re-read the words three times before they finally sunk into his mind.  She hadn't just woken up before him, she was gone.  Her things still cluttered his apartment, but she'd left.  Unfortunately, he also recognized the poem.

"Colby!" Ryan yelled, scrambling from the bed.

He grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on.  So that's why she'd been quiet all night.  He'd thought she'd simply been exhausted!  She'd been planning how to sneak out without him being able to stop her.

"Colby!" he screamed again.

"Fuck!  What?"

"Mack's gone."

He heard feet above, scrambling.  With his jaw set, Ryan stormed up the stairs, the book in hand.  He crested the top in time to see Colby yanking on a shirt, his face wrinkled from the sheets.

"She's gone?"

Ryan just tossed the pad.  "Yeah."

Colby's eyes scanned the page, and he sighed.  "Where's the poem from, Ryan?"

"Byron," Ryan said softly.  "And Thou art Dead, as Young and Fair."

"Oh fuck," Colby said, sinking to the edge of the bed.  "No.  God, no."

Ryan laughed just a bit.  "She sucks at this, you know?"

"Huh?"

Ryan gestured to the book.  "She's dumping me because it's worse.  She's trying to cut the losses."

"Is she going to die?" Colby asked, his hand tracing the tiny dancer on the opposite wrist.

"I dunno," Ryan admitted.  "I don't fucking know, Colby, but she sure as shit isn't going to do it alone."

"Ok.  She couldn't have gotten far.  Check the hotels down the street."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed.  "You start calling hospitals?"

"You think she's been admitted?"

Ryan just nodded, jogging back down the stairs.  "I don't fucking care if she even likes me anymore," he called behind him, "she's still not doing this shit alone!  I love that girl too much to let her do that."

"Don't tell that shit to me," Colby yelled down the stairs. 

"I have to fucking find her before I can tell it to her," Ryan growled, rummaging through his things, not even trying to be gentle.

"Bro," Colby said, boots in hand.  "Call her.  Maybe she'll fucking answer?"

Ryan nodded and dialed, pulling on a shirt while he listened to it ring.  "Sweetie, where are you?  I'm worried sick about you.  Just call me back and tell me you're someplace safe?"  He hung up.  "Fucking voice mail."

Colby grabbed his and dialed.  With a sigh, he hung up.  "Me too.  Ok.  Maybe she has an emergency contact on file?  I'll start making calls to hospitals, but I need the computer downstairs."

They both hurried, Colby heading to the front desk, Ryan to the office.  "Fuck," Ryan said.  "It's 1:30, put a damned sign on the door that we're not opening."

"Yeah," he said rounding the corner.  With a groan, Ryan heard him unlock the door.  "I'm sorry, we're not going to be open today," he told someone.

"Is Ryan here?" she asked.  Ryan paused.  He knew that voice.

Jogging around the corner, he hurried into the main room of the shop.  "Maria?"

"Uh?" Colby asked, looking between them.

"Let her in.  That's Mack's nurse."

"Yeah, ok," Colby said, pushing the door open for her, then locking it behind her.

"I'm sorry," Maria said.  "I didn't know you weren't open yet.  Um, officially I'm here to get some more cards."

"Where is she?" Ryan asked.

"Damn," Maria whispered to herself.  "I thought that's what she'd do.  Look, Ryan, I can't tell you.  Patient confidentiality and all that."

"Is she ok?" he begged.  "She was just gone this morning.  Her stuff's still here, but she's gone!"

"We'll find her, bro," Colby promised.

Maria lay something on the counter.  It was a small card, crumpled into a ball.  "Maybe this fell out of her pocket?"

Ryan leaned over and pressed it flat, then closed his eyes and sighed deeply.  "Close the whole fucking shop, Colby - and bring the truck."

"Helmet!" Colby yelled as Ryan raced down the hall.  He looked at the card: Regional Hospital, check in 8am.  Sx 2:30pm

"How bad?" he asked the nurse.  "I don't give a shit about confidential whatver.  That's my best fucking friend who just disappeared on us this morning."

"It's not good," Maria said.  "Give me some damned business cards, and I'll tell you what I can."

He pulled open the top drawer and grabbed a box, dropping them on the counter.  "Is she going to die?"

"I dunno."  Maria leaned on the desk.  "We don't even know if it's really worse, or if we just saw more this time."

"Yeah," Colby said.  "Coffee?"

"I'd love one," she admitted.  "I've been standing all fucking morning."

"C'mon around back.  I'm sorry.  I'm just so worried about that girl."  He pointed over the door.  "She kinda has something about her, makes us all want to be the white angel to her black."

"She did that?"

Colby nodded and tilted his arm, showing the tattoo dancer.  "And they did this.  We do have good coffee."

He led her to the break room, turning on lights as they went.  Gesturing to a chair, Colby made his way to the counter, and got the coffee started, then returned, sitting across from her.

"I'm Colby, by the way, one of the tattoo artists here."

"Maria," she said with a smile.  "So you all live here, too?"

He nodded.  "Yeah.  Ryan and Mack on the second floor, I'm on the third.  We call it the island of misfit toys."

She chuckled at that.  "Someone watched too many Christmas specials."

"Ryan," he said with a smile.  "His mom died from cancer, and he grew up in foster homes.  I'm an ex-drunk, and Mack has cancer."

"Recovering alcoholic?" Maria asked, looking around.  "Not exactly the line of work I'd expect for that."

Colby shrugged.  "You've met Ryan.  Not a fucking drop of booze comes into this place.  He gave me a job if I could get sober.  Made me a deal that if I ever wanted a drink, I had to tell him."  The coffee pot beeped, and he stood.  "In six years, I've told him a lot, and he's always made sure I never had one.  Mack, too.  Broke up with my kinda girlfriend of four years a couple of weeks ago, and she made the dancer tattoo for me.  Sugar?  Cream?"

"Black.  Why the dancer?"

He smiled as he set a cup before her.  "The angel in the painting?  It's Ryan.  There's a smaller painting on the side wall in there.  A ribbon dancer.  Ryan did that one, and it's Mack.  They were fucking painting each other into their art before they'd even talked.  So, the image is my one best friend and was inked by my other.  Reminds me that I always have someone to lean on, ya know?"

"Why the cervical cancer purple?"

"I'm gonna be the damned maid of honor," Colby said.  "Soon as Ryan gets the balls to tell that girl how he feels about her, and she stops trying to push him away to protect him.  Told Mack I'd wear purple taffeta."

Maria grinned, trying to hide it with a sip of her coffee.  "Maid of honor?  Thought you said you'd known Ryan longer?"

"Yeah, but he's got Tony.  Mack?  She's just got us.  How bad is it?"

Maria didn't even pause.  "Both lymph nodes, but nothing on her lungs.  They're cutting her open today."

"Fuck," Colby said softly.  "How long will she be out?"

"In the hospital?  Three, maybe four days?"

"And bed ridden?"

"She'll need to be watched for at least four weeks.  It's a rough recovery.  I can stop by after work and help, though."

"And what do you want for it?" he asked.  "Nobody does somethin' for nothin' these days."

"A cup of coffee?" Maria offered.  "Look.  Ryan's been a saint.  He sat in the waiting room the other day with henna, staining eyebrows onto one of our elderly patients.  You say no one does anything without a reason, then explain that man to me."

Colby sighed and stared at his coffee, then chuckled just once.  "He's a knight in shining ink."  He wiped quickly at his face.  "He's the fucking white angel, Maria.  He does that shit to make her smile.  Please tell me she's going to be ok?"

Maria just shook her head.  "I can't, Colby.  She's at IIB.  They're doing surgery today, hoping to get it all, but if they don't?  She's got maybe six months?  A year at most."

He sniffed and nodded.  "Think praying would help?" he asked, lifting moist eyes.

"Do you?"

"Fuckin worth a shot.  Sure won't hurt, right?"  He wiped at his eyes again.

"I'm not real religious," Maria said, "But I'll pray with you, if you'd like?"

Colby nodded, grabbing her hand.  He bowed his head and closed his eyes, then spoke softly.  "Dear God," he said awkwardly, then took a deep breath.  "Don't take her yet.  I'm not good for shit.  There's thousands of people out there that don't deserve to breathe.  But not Mack.  You fucked with her for too damned long, just give her a bit of good." 

He sniffed again and rubbed at his face with his free hand.  "The knight in shining armor is supposed to save the damsel in distress, damn it."  A small sob escaped, and Maria slid closer, wrapping her arm around his shoulders.  "I'd take her place if I could," Colby whispered.

That was as far as he got before he simply broke.  He shoved his face in his hands and cried, not even trying to hide it.  "I want a fucking drink," he said so softly, rubbing his arm.  "I can't take this shit, and I want a fucking drink."

Maria gave up any semblance of being a professional, and just wrapped her arms around the tough looking guy covered in tattoos who was begging for help from friends who were too busy to save him.  He clung to her like a man lost at sea and just cried.

"What would Mackenzie say?" Maria asked gently.

"No."  Colby said, managing one small laugh.  "Then she'd make a fucking coffee."

"Then no," Maria said with a sad smile, tilting his chin up.  "And you already have your coffee."

"Thanks, babe."  He wiped at his face.  "I'm not usually a fucking mess like this."

"Not every day that your best friend has cancer."

He shrugged.  "She has since she's been my best friend.  You know she was gonna do this shit on her own?  She started workin' here on a Thursday, and had her first dose on the Monday after that.  Tried to hide it, so she wouldn't get fired."

"That's fucked up," Maria said.

"Yeah.  Fuckin' Ryan's been half in love with her for a damned year.  Still dunno why he hired her.  He says it's so he could at least draw her, but I dunno.  She said she wasn't gonna sleep with her boss, but they worked it out."

"Wait," Maria said.  "He came the second day, and said he was her boyfriend."

Colby smiled and shrugged.  "He lied.  Mack just went with it.  Thing is, she was sure that he was too good for her, and he was sure she was.  One day I'll find someone like that, you know?"

Maria nodded.  "I think we all hope for that.  I know I do."

He grabbed her hand, and smiled.  "Hun', you've got nothing to worry about.  Gotta be a million men out there waiting in line for a chance with a pretty woman like you.  I'm sorry I just blubbered all over you."