One Day at a Time (Starting Over Series Book 4) (27 page)

A week ago he and Tessa had sat down to finally talk about everything. It had been a hard discussion, and the emotions were running rampant between them. He’d gotten home from work to find Tessa sitting at his dining room table with a book opened in front of her. She had come a long way in the past couple of weeks. They finally took the wires off and she was able to eat real food and didn’t have to talk through her teeth. Her therapist thought it would be okay to cut back to a visit once a week. She talked about what happened a lot more freely, and did it with no tears most of the time. Occasionally she cried, but it was mostly thinking about Daisy that set her off.

Before their talk they slept in the same bed together, but it was usually in the guest bedroom. He only kissed her a few times, but that was because he didn’t want to come on too strong.

He came around to Tessa, bending down to kiss the top of her head. “Whatcha doing, babe?” He asked and pulled out the chair next to her.

“Just reading and waiting for you to get home. I thought that maybe—maybe it would be a good idea to finally talk about everything. Unless you’d rather not.” He could tell she was nervous because she kept picking at her nails.

He knew they both needed this but it still didn’t make it any easier. Who wanted to talk about their failures and their regrets? But he knew that that was the only way for them to move forward.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her up from her chair. “Let’s go sit in the living room. We’ll be more comfortable in there.” She walked ahead of him and went to plug in the Christmas tree, since Christmas was only a few weeks away. She sat with him on the couch and he situated her so her back was against his front. “I’m giving you carte blanche. You can ask me whatever you want or we’ll talk about whatever you want. I’ll try to answer to the best of my ability.”

“Why did you break up with me? Why did you think you didn’t deserve me? Was it the way I made you feel?”

He wrapped his arm around her and hugged her tight. “Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me and my fucked up way of thinking. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I know what I did was wrong and maybe, just maybe, if had I done things differently, the stuff with your dad wouldn’t have happened.”

She turned to look at him. “Stop. Don’t say that, Cash. We don’t know what would’ve happened. I just wanted to be there for you. I understand why the stuff that happened with you would be hard to share with someone, but you obviously don’t know me very well if you think I’d judge you by your past.” She put her fingers over his lips when he tried to speak. “I love you. I really do, Cash. You are not that man anymore. You’ve made amends. You’re spending time with your daughter. You’ve been there for me almost every day since everything happened. You don’t know what that means to me.”

He hugged her to his chest and took in her scent. She was so much stronger than she thought. Hell, she was stronger than he was. She accepted the fact that killing her dad was just something that happened and it was either her or him. Sure, she still had her moments, but they were few and far between. She was an inspiration to him, and it made him realize that if she could forgive herself, then he could too.

Back in the present, he smiled, hopped out of his truck, and grabbed Tessa’s presents from the passenger seat. Tonight was Christmas Eve, and his sister and her family were coming over, as well as Jonathon and Josie.

He opened the front door and was assailed by the scent of the chickens Tessa had roasting in the oven. He would’ve been happy with ordering pizzas, but this was her first big family Christmas dinner, so they were going to do it right.

“Babe, I’m home!” he hollered as he took his coat off and put her presents under the tree. They were going to only get presents for all of the kids, but then Tessa started buying little things here and there for the grown-ups, so they threw that rule out the window. That was good considering he bought her three separate presents. He’d let her open one tonight and the rest would have to wait until Christmas morning.

He walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see how tidy it was. She had gotten up at seven in the morning to start preparing everything. He opened the oven door and looked at the two chickens. They looked wonderful already. “Tessa!” he called out but got no response.

He made his way down the hall to the spare bedroom, but found it empty. The bathroom was empty too. He felt himself start to panic, but squashed it and went to look outside. Sure enough there was his girl wrapped in his comforter with a steaming mug in her hand. The hammock was down until spring so she was sitting on the steps leading to the yard.

He grabbed himself a cup of coffee and went outside. “Hey, honey.” She was still a little skittish if someone came up behind her without making themselves known first. She turned toward him and gave him the smile that he hadn’t seen in a few months.

“Hey, come sit with me.” He sat down behind her, his legs on both sides of her. “What time is your sister coming?”

“They said they should be here around one o’clock, but they have four kids to get ready now, so they could possibly be late.” His sister had given birth to a beautiful little girl a few weeks ago, and even with the large brood she still was happy and relaxed.

“I can’t wait to see the kids and hold that fresh baby.” He could feel the joy coming off of her. It was great to see it again.

By noon they had everything ready to go and Tessa was in the spare bedroom getting ready. Walking down the hall toward his bedroom Cash wanted to make a detour at the spare bedroom, but he needed to let her make the first move, and she would when she was ready. Grabbing his clean clothes, he changed since he’d already taken a shower earlier.

He was just straightening his tie when he heard the doorbell and then Tessa’s excited shout that she was getting the door. On the other side of the door he could hear the squealing and yelling and knew Journey, Dylan, and the kids were there. When he stepped into the hall, four little arms hugged him. He picked up Parker, threw him over one shoulder and carried Joey out under his other arm. Walking down the hall, he found Tessa already had Haddie in her arms. Big sister Abby was sitting close by, watching over them.

“Hey, big brother.” Journey came over to him, taking Parker off of his shoulder and gave Cash a kiss on the cheek. “Come here, my little monkey.”

“Monkey!” the little rascal hollered before he went running toward the front door when Dylan came back inside with a box of gifts.

Cash greeted his brother-in-law and sat Joey down so he could answer the door when Jonathon and Josie showed up. He didn’t need to do introductions because they’d already met and, of course, Josie and Abby hit it off before. Tessa and Journey were sitting together while his girl was loving on Haddie. She looked like a natural with the baby in her arms. A warm feeling spread through his chest as he watched Tessa smile as she smoothed a hand over Haddie’s tiny head.

“She looks like a natural.” He turned to find Dylan and Jonathon standing next to him. “How’s she doing with everything?” Dylan asked.

“She’s doing great. She’s a warrior, and she’s not letting the whole mess bring her down.” Cash answered and then looked to Jonathon, who had a small smile on his lips. Jonathon was so proud of his sister and had been instrumental in every step of her recovery. Cash had even shared some of his past with the guy, and Jonathon just thanked him for sharing and said that Cash was as strong as Tessa. Cash watched Tessa bring Haddie up to her face and kiss her nose.

“I don’t want to give her back but if I don’t, we won’t eat at all. I will hold you a little later Miss Haddie.” She reluctantly gave the baby back and finally greeted her brother and then excused herself to start cooking.

***

Tessa sat with Abby in her lap, and Cash sat next to her with Haddie in his arms as the adults enjoyed coffee and dessert. The kids were all chomping at the bit, waiting for the okay to start opening presents.

Dinner had been amazing, and she was thrilled with how everything turned out. The kids were pretty crazy at the dinner table, but they were all just excited about Santa coming. After everyone was seated, her brother stood up. “I just wanted to say a few words.” He looked at Tessa. “To my baby sister, you’ve shown me what it’s like to be brave and strong. I love you and see beautiful things in your future.” They all clinked their glasses as she stood up and hugged her brother tight.

She wiped her eyes discreetly and hurried back to her chair. The men all seemed to be getting along and were in a deep conversation. Joey came up to her and she pulled him onto her lap. She looked up at Journey who was nursing Haddie under a blanket. “Is she a good eater?”

“Oh, yeah, she nurses for about thirty minutes every two to three hours right now, but if she’s like the boys, it should start slowing down soon. Thank you again for the outfit and the blanket. I absolutely love them.”

“You’re welcome. I saw them and just had to get them.” They all finished their dessert and went out into the living room. The kids sat in front of the tree while the adults were spread out around the furniture. Josie and Abby played Santa and passed all of the gifts out. One by one the kids opened their presents, smiling for the camera and showing off their loot. She had gotten the older girls a couple of different book series that she loved when she was younger. The boys got trucks and fake tools since they liked to “work” on stuff with their dad.

All of the adults began to open their gifts. Tessa got a beautiful sweater from Journey and a basket of the lotions she loved from one of her favorite stores in the mall. She got a gift certificate to the spa from her brother and niece. Cash scooted closer to her and placed a small velvet box in her lap. Her heart rate sped up as she stared at it. Was it a ring? She hoped it wasn’t, at least not yet. She wasn’t ready for that. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. He shook his head and chuckled softly. “Not yet, sweetheart.”

She opened the lid and gasped. It was a gorgeous pair of diamond studs. They were tiny and delicate, which was what she loved about them. Quickly putting them in her ears she vowed they were never coming out. “Thank you,” she said and then grabbed his face, pulling him in for a kiss. “I love them,” she whispered against his lips.

“Good, because I love you,” he replied. He kissed her one more time and then pulled back. She turned back to everyone and felt her face heat up because they were all staring at them with goofy grins on their faces.

Cash got clothes from his sister and a cool tool belt from Jonathon. He was getting one of his gifts from her tonight after everyone left. She had bought the prettiest red silk nightgown that hit her mid-thigh and dipped down a little in the front, giving the illusion that she had boobs. The back swooped down to the top of her booty. She was ready to take their relationship to that level again and she figured that the nightgown would be his green light.

Everyone left shortly after they finished opening presents since Journey’s family still had to go to Dylan’s family, and Jonathon and Josie were going to drive around looking at Christmas lights. Josie let it slip as they were walking out to the car that they were taking presents to Shannon. Tessa had been shocked and a little disappointed in her brother about what went down with Shannon. The other woman had promised that no matter what happened, Tessa and Josie would be welcomed in hers and the baby’s lives.

The tree looked so bare underneath now that most of the presents were gone. Tessa couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning when Cash would open her other present to him. She bought him songwriting software so he could work on his music more. She just hoped he liked it.

As she was loading the dishwasher she felt his arms slowly wrap around her. “It was a great day, baby.”

Leaning in to him, she nodded. “Can you finish this? I need to do something really quick.” Turning to face him, she found him searching her face.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just have one of your gifts, and I have to go get it ready, so when you’re done here, wait on the couch for me.” She gave him a quick kiss and took off down the hall.

Ten minutes later she stared at herself in the mirror in his bedroom. Her hair was loose and hanging in waves around her shoulders. Her skin had a little bit of shine from the lotion she used and the nightgown molded to her body. She dabbed a little bit of gloss on her lips before lighting candles all around the room. Once finished, she climbed up onto his bed, took a deep breath and hollered for him to come to her.

“Tessa, what is…?” Cash froze when he opened the door.

Her heart hammered in her chest as he stood there, unmoving. Should she go to him? Maybe he wasn’t interested, but glancing down she knew that wasn’t true. She could clearly see that he was hard.

She felt herself relax a bit when he finally started walking into the room. When he reached the side of the bed, he brushed her hair back, tucking some of the strands behind her ear.

“You’re absolutely breathtaking.” Her cheeks heated up. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? I can wait as long as you need me to.”

One thing she was sure of was that she was more than ready to be with him. She answered him by sliding her hands up his chest and around his neck. The first touch of her lips against his had him immediately taking over. He started slow and sweet, just a gentle brush of his lips against hers, then he added a little more pressure.

She felt his hands slide around to her back and then felt Cash freeze when he met her bare flesh. “Damn, baby, I need to see this thing.” He pulled her up, so he could look at her. She should’ve been embarrassed but it only excited her. “You need to buy these in every color, and I demand that you wear them every night. It’s going to be such a shame taking this off.”

Stepping in front of her, he looked down at her and slowly licked his lips. She could see the hunger in his eyes and felt her knees turn to jelly. His hands slid into her hair, she felt him give a little tug. Panic set in for a second but he quickly squashed it. “Keep those eyes open and on me.”