One Day at a Time (Starting Over Series Book 4) (25 page)

He stayed in the room, watching her as she packed the last of her clothes. “I feel good, finally. I just can’t wait to get these things off. I’m looking forward to going back to work on Monday.” She was nervous about going back to work, and she was lucky that her makeup covered her bruises. She really needed to get back to normal. Her therapist, Susan, agreed with her.

“Well, that’s good. I’m sure your co-workers would like to see for themselves that you’re okay. Here, I’ll carry these out for you.” He picked up both of her bags and led her out of the bedroom and into the living room where Jonathon and Josie were waiting.

Her stomach was in knots as they all made their way out to Jonathon’s car. The men loaded the trunk while she and Josie got settled in. The back door opened and she turned to find Cash giving Josie a hug goodbye and making her promise to be good.

“I promise, Uncle Cash. Love you!” That was new, and the therapist didn’t really have an explanation except maybe Josie wanted to hold the people closest to her near.

Tessa heard him murmur that he loved her too and she tried to ignore the warm feeling it gave her to hear their interaction. The door closed and hers was next. He cupped her cheek, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. “I’m going to miss you,” he whispered.

She wanted to shout that she was going to miss him too, but she just couldn’t yet. Instead she said, “Thanks for letting us stay with you.”

He kissed her lips slowly. “You know I’d do anything for you. Just remember if you need or want to come back, you’re welcome to stay.” She nodded, reached up and kissed him one more time before he got up and let her close the door. She pressed her open hand against the window and smiled when he did the same. She could hear him talking to Jonathon but couldn’t hear what he said over the top of the car.

A minute later Jonathon climbed in. Cash kissed his fingers and pressed them against the window and she did the same. He stood in the driveway in the cold with no coat on as they pulled away. As Jonathon drove away Tessa felt her heart shattering into a million pieces. She tried to open her mouth to tell Jonathon to turn around and take her back but she didn’t. Not until they talked about everything and they had a lot that needed to be said.

She was lost in her own little world and didn’t realize that they were pulling into the parking lot at their apartment building. Staring up at it, she swallowed heavily. Her palms began to sweat as she stared at the door that led to their unit.

“Tessa, you okay?” Jonathon asked from beside her.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “Yeah, it’s just weird being back here, is all.”

She climbed out and then went around to the back to get her bags, but her brother didn’t pop the trunk. He met her at the back. “I’ll bring the bags in. Let’s just get you guys inside and settled.”

There was no point in arguing with him because he’d just go all alpha-male-I’m-the-boss-of-you mode and it just wasn’t worth the headache. So like the dutiful sister she was, she followed silently behind him with Josie’s hand tucked into hers. A sense of foreboding hit her as they made their way up the stairs. Her niece felt it too because her hand was trembling in hers.

“We’ll be okay, sweetheart.” She wanted Josie to believe her, but she didn’t believe it herself.

They were all silent as Jonathon unlocked the door. He held the door open as she stepped inside. Nothing looked out of place so she moved further inside. Spotting something sticking out from under the sofa she went and picked it up. It was Daisy’s collar. Clutching it to her chest she excused herself and went into her room. Shutting the door behind her she crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep.

Through a blurry eye, Tessa watched her niece run outside with her phone. Soon the police would be there and they’d take her dad away. He was in his blind rage mode because he didn’t notice Josie run outside. He kept slamming her into the wall over and over. Her vision kept going hazy but she had to stay alert.

Over and over she cried for him to stop but he just laughed and made fun of her. It felt like he was going on and on forever. Her legs were finally no longer able to hold her up. She collapsed in a heap on the floor. She felt his hand slide into her hair and wrench her head back until she was up on her knees. He wrapped his arm around her waist so he was flush against him.

“I hate that you look like her. You’re a constant reminder of what I lost.” He shoved her face so hard into the carpet that she heard a pop. She tried to get away from him, but he grabbed her ankle. Hearing a tiny growl she watched Daisy limp toward her dad and bite at his hand. It felt like it was happening in slow motion. He grabbed Daisy by her neck and with a flick of his wrist she was gone. With a scream that sounded like a wounded animal she lunged at her father, catching him off guard. She hit him over and over again. He cursed at her and screamed, but she didn’t stop.

He managed to grab her shoulder and then shove her off of him. He was struggling, trying to get up as she scrambled to the kitchen where something caught her eye. It was Jonathon’s baseball bat. Just as he came charging at her, Tessa picked it up and swung over and over again. He collapsed to the floor. She watched the blood pool around him. Reaching down, she felt for a pulse but couldn’t find one. Dropping to her knees she vomited all over the carpet. In the background she could hear the sirens getting closer.

“Oh god!” She crawled to Daisy and picked up her little puppy who was already stiff. “Oh, my sweet baby. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him from hurting you.” She sobbed into Daisy’s soft fur. The pain was too much to handle.

Tessa flew up and out of her bed. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She was a murderer—she killed her dad. Her therapist said this could happen, but she wasn’t expecting it to happen her second night home.

She quickly dressed, throwing on sweatpants and an oversized sweater. She dragged a brush through her hair and pulled it up in a messy bun on top of her head and on silent feet went into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. When that was all done she stared at herself in the mirror. She wanted to vomit and almost did but she had to swallow it back down.

Were the cops going to come arrest her? Was Jonathon waiting for her to remember before he arrested her? She needed to wake him up and tell him that she did.

Once she was out in the living room she looked around as fresh images of that awful day assaulted her mind. Her skin crawled where her dad touched her and she could still smell the acrid stench of his breath.

While she tried to drum up the nerve to wake her brother she needed to text Cash so he didn’t wonder what happened to her.

Tessa: Cash, I know you’re sleeping but I just wanted one more chance to tell you goodbye. I dreamt about what happened that day and I know what I did. I’m turning myself in so I can pay for my crime. I didn’t mean to do it. I just wanted him to stop. Stop hitting me, stop telling me I was stupid, just stop it all. I didn’t want him dead. I hope you can forgive me for what I’ve done. I love you so much and I hope you’ll come visit me. I’m sorry I’ve ruined everything and that we didn’t get the chance to be an “us.” All my love, Tessa xoxo.

As she stuck her phone in her pocket she wiped the last of the tears away and took a deep breath. She walked toward her brother’s door and lifted her hand to knock.

***

Cash woke up before his alarm clock again. It was only the second day that Tessa, Jonathon, and Josie were gone, but he already hated the quiet. He had hoped that Tessa would come back to stay with him, but she didn’t. It hurt that she was quick to get away from him, but what the fuck did he expect? He broke up with her, refused to speak to her, and never responded to her texts—that was until he got his head out of his ass, but maybe it really was too late. Maybe for once he couldn’t fix something he broke.

Grabbing his phone off of the nightstand, he looked at what time it was and noticed he had a text. He opened up his messages and saw it was from Tessa, and she’d sent it at three o’clock in the morning. He opened it, and as soon as he read it, he was flying out of his bed and throwing clothes on. He dialed Jonathon’s phone but got his voicemail. “Jonathon, I got a text from Tessa! She remembers everything and she’s turned herself in. Please call me or I’m going to just go to the police station.” He hung up, grabbed his keys and ran out the door.

He was just pulling into the parking lot when his phone rang. “Jonathon, what the fuck happened?”

“Hey, it all came back to her this morning in a dream. She woke me up and told me everything and that she was ready to be brought in. She even had gotten dressed and ready to be arrested.”

“Did they arrest her?” He couldn’t stand the thought of her being behind bars. He’d been there and it was no place for her.

“No, but I did take her down to the station to give them her full statement. It was clearly self-defense, but I’ve got to be honest, she’s not doing very well. She remembers what that motherfucker did to the dog and the way he touched her.” Bile started rising in Cash’s throat.

“Sonofabitch, he touched her?” He wanted to kill that bastard all over again.

“Not like that, but he kept telling her how much she looked like our mom. He smelled her hair and her neck. Listen, I think she should stay with you. I’ve already started looking for another place for us, but until we get moved I just don’t think it’ll be good for her to stay here. Her doctor gave me a prescription for her to take to keep her calm. I’ve got a friend with her right now, but why don’t you head over there. You can see for yourself how she’s doing and that she needs this. I, hopefully, won’t be gone very long.”

Only stopping for a coffee on the way, he lit up a cigarette. He normally didn’t smoke in his truck, but he was stressed out enough that he didn’t really care.

When he finally reached their apartment he was relieved. He just needed to see her, to hold her if she’d let him. Parking in one of the visitor spots he snuffed out his smoke, popped a mint and headed upstairs. When he reached their door he didn’t know if he should just walk in or knock. He decided on the latter.

A few seconds later the door opened and the redhead was standing there. “Hi! Are you Cash? I’m Shannon.”

He stuck his hand out to shake hers, but instead she wrapped her arms around him. She gave him a squeeze and then let go of him. “It’s great to meet you, Shannon. How’s she doing?”

“She’s okay, she’s laying down right now. Josie and I are making pancakes if you’re hungry. Come on in.” He followed her inside. He noticed something behind her ear with a tube going into her ear. “It’s a cochlear implant.”

Oh great, he was staring and she caught him. “Sorry, I’ve never seen one before.”

“Uncle Cash!” Josie came running out to him. Opening his arms he hugged her tight to him.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing?”

They talked while Josie made him a pancake. Shannon brought him a cup of coffee while Josie chattered on about school and the houses they already looked at. He felt bad because he was only half listening to them. He really wanted to go check on Tessa, but didn’t want to seem rude, so he waited patiently for Josie to finish making his pancake. Silently he watched Shannon and Josie work together. Tessa’s niece seemed to be doing pretty well considering everything that’d happened. Shannon was good with her and he caught Josie using sign language with Shannon a couple of times.

A few minutes later they sat the plate in front of him with an oddly shaped pancake and the bottle of syrup. He thanked Josie and dug in. Thank god it tasted better than it looked so he didn’t have to choke it down. He was just finishing it when the front door opened and Jonathon came in. The guy looked beat.

“Daddy!” Josie ran to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Shannon and I made pancakes. Do you want one?”

He bent down, kissing her head. “I’d love one.”

Jonathon walked into the kitchen and Shannon seemed to stiffen. He bent down and said something softly into her ear. She nodded but then moved away from him. Cash couldn’t miss the hurt expression on Jonathon’s face. He grabbed coffee and then joined Cash at the breakfast bar. They talked while Josie made Jonathon his pancake. Jonathon told him Shannon was taking Josie out, and he was going to lie down for a little bit, but he’d be around if he was needed.

Grabbing the prescription, a spoon, and a bottle of water, he made his way down the hall. He knocked and slowly opened the door. The sight in front of him broke his heart. She was sitting at the end of her bed, tears streaming down her face. She looked up when he shut the door behind him. “Hi, beautiful girl.”

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

He went to her, sitting down on the bed next to her. At first he didn’t know what to say, so he just wrapped his arm around her. “I just wanted to see you.” He sighed when she leaned into him.

“I killed him,” she whispered. “I hit him in the head with Jonathon’s bat. I tried to stop myself but I just hit him and hit him.” He could feel her getting agitated.

“Tessa, you did what you had to do. He could’ve killed you and Josie too. If he wasn’t already gone I’d kill him myself. Here, baby, your brother picked up some medicine to help you.” He measured out the dose and handed her the spoon. He watched her wince when she took it. “Does it taste bad?”              

She nodded and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. He sat the bottle on her nightstand and gave her the bottle of water. “Come here.” Pulling her with him until he was propped up against her headboard and she was on her side snuggled into him. “What can I do for you, baby?”

She was silent for a few minutes and he thought maybe she fell asleep. “Will you sing to me?” He’d do anything for her. He just wanted her to be okay.

“Any requests?” She shook her head against his shoulder. He thought about it for a few minutes and then started singing “Trouble” by RayLaMontagne
.
As he sang softly against her forehead he felt her body start to relax against his. Song after song he sang to her until soft snores filled the room. It took some maneuvering to get flat on his back so she could sleep more comfortably. Gently, his hand slid up and down her back. That medicine must’ve been strong because she was zonked out. Curling his body around hers, he let the sound of her snoring lull him to sleep.