Once Broken (12 page)

Once gratified, Tony whispered, “My God, I love you.” He rolled her onto her back to show her his appreciation for the exceptional birthday treat.

An hour later, they enjoyed a delicious dinner. Then Jackie brought out a birthday cupcake with one candle lit. She sang “Happy Birthday” and said, “Make a wish!”

“No need, it’s already been granted.”

*

“I can’t believe you’re moving next week,” Jackie said as she helped Tony pack his off-season clothes and other nonessential items.

“I’m looking forward to it. I still need kitchen items like pans, silverware, dishes and stuff. Why don’t we go shopping before dinner tonight?”

“That sounds like fun. I love shopping for household items. How much cooking are you planning on doing?”

“Actually, I hoped you’d be cooking for me.

“Oh, I see how this is going. I’m shopping for myself,” she said, laughing. “My mother mentioned Grover Cronin’s in Waltham is having a sale. You can get great deals in the basement. Want to try it before we go to the mall?”

“Sure.”

Grover Cronin’s was a score. Tony and Jackie bought everything the kitchen needed, including pots and pans, a coffee maker, and a toaster.

“You’re quite a savvy shopper Jackie. Next up, furniture.” He put the bags and boxes in his trunk.

“Hey, we can go to Jordan’s Furniture while we’re here. What do you need?”

“A couch and a recliner. My parents are giving me their dining set because they want a new one. I forgot all about Jordan’s. Let’s go.”

As they sauntered up the street, window shopping along the way, Jackie remembered the sunporch. “Oh, you need some awesome chairs for that beautiful sunporch.”

“Geez, I may have to apply for credit.”

“That can be arranged, I’m sure.”

In Jordan’s they were like two kids in a candy store, trying out this couch and that sofa, reclining in this overstuffed chair and that one.

“Hey, look at these for the sunporch.” Jackie dragged him by the arm. She posed in a burgundy papasan chair. “It’s super comfy. You need two and a matching ottoman. They’d be perfect for lounging in the sun and would look totally mod.”

“Okay, if you say so. I’m picking the recliner and I want this one.” He pointed to a plush brown leather model. “It’s very comfortable.”

“It looks great too! All you need now is a sofa. How about matching the recliner with a brown sofa and some pillows for accent color?”

After trying various sofas, they found just the right one. Tony’s last-minute impulse buy before cashing out was a fiber optics lamp. The couple grabbed a quick bite at Sammy White’s before going back to Tony’s to continue packing.

“The furniture is coming Friday, so I’m taking off work Thursday and Friday. Want to play hooky with me?” Tony asked.

“Sure. I’ll cover my shift at the Stockyard. It’ll be fun playing house with you.”

“Do you realize that we’ll be celebrating our anniversary in the new apartment?”

“I do!”

March 1977

Moving day came quickly. Jackie unpacked their purchases and organized the kitchen while Tony and Luke set up the bed. By noon they were starving, so Jackie ordered pizza. The three ate sitting cross-legged on the living room rug.

“This place is great, Tony,” Luke commented.

“If you like it now, wait until you see it with furniture,” Jackie said. “Why don’t you and Rosa come for dinner on Saturday? Okay, Tony?”

So long as you’re cooking!

Jackie laughed. “Deal, but you’ll be helping.”

“Deal.”

*

Friday morning the couple woke in Tony’s bed in his apartment for the first time. After some morning lovemaking, Tony leaned over and kissed Jackie. “I’ll get us some coffee and breakfast. You sleep.”

Jackie rolled over and stretched. “Okay. Love you.”

Tony crawled out of bed, tossed on pants and a shirt, and kissed her gently. “I love you more.”

He returned with Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and muffins and set them on the counter. Jackie was fresh out of the shower. “Hi honey,” she said, walking into the kitchen wearing one of his dress shirts.

“I missed you.” He kissed her and handed her a Dunkin’ Styrofoam cup.

Following breakfast, Jackie and Tony spent hours unpacking boxes and organizing closets and cabinets. “Hey honey, while you’re waiting for the furniture, how about I get groceries? We have nothing for lunch or dinner.”

“Good plan. Take whatever you need from my wallet.”

She grabbed a few twenties, slipped on her sandals, and ran out the door.

*

Jackie returned carrying a bag of groceries and a spider plant snuggled in a macramé holder.

“Hey, handsome. I bought you a housewarming present. Your sunporch is begging for this.” She handed him the plant. “I got candles for mood setting—so important for a bachelor pad—turkey, cheese, bread, and mayo for lunch; and steak tips, baked potatoes, and asparagus for dinner. And of course, toilet paper.”

“Ah, thanks. What would I do without you?” He put the plant down, wrapped his arms around her waist, and kissed her neck.

“Let’s hope you never have to find out.” After a brief kiss, she put the groceries away and made sandwiches.

*

After dinner that evening Tony lit a fire in the fireplace. Jackie lay across the sofa with her head in his lap.

“This place looks amazing. Thanks to you.”

“Aw, thanks! It was so much fun. What’s up for tonight?”

“I’m hoping to get you on the floor in front of the fire.”

“Geez, after all the work we’ve done today, you still have energy for that?”

“Always. I thought you knew me better than that.”

He got up to spread a blanket on the floor when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.” He headed down the stairs. Jackie scooped up the blanket and folded it on the couch when she heard Louie and Anna’s voices.

“Hi dear, we’re heading home from the store. I made Louie swing by. I’ve been eager to see Tony’s new place! We’re not interrupting anything, are we?”

“Oh no. Come in. Tony’ll give you the tour.”

*

As Tony had wanted, Jackie spent a lot of time at his apartment. She stayed overnight on the nights she didn’t work which ended up being most weekends and every Tuesday. Her clothes filled two of his bureau drawers and a portion of his hall closet. Her toothbrush and hair dryer became permanent fixtures in his bathroom. On weekends, they had their morning coffee sitting on the papasan chairs in the sunroom.

April 1977

“Our anniversary is next Thursday,” Jackie reminded Tony at dinner.

“I don’t need reminders for that. It’s been the happiest year of my life.”

“Mine too. I’ll make you a special dinner and we’ll spend a quiet night right here.”

“And I’ll finally get my fantasy night with you naked in front of the crackling fire?

“Yes you will.” She shivered as erotic images played in her mind.

*

Candles flickered from every corner of the living room. The fireplace, with its crackling fire, added warmth and atmosphere. Champagne chilled in the ice bucket with two champagne glasses beside it. The Bee Gees played on the turntable. When Tony came in from work, Jackie was positioned on the couch wearing a black lace chemise. “Happy Anniversary, my love.”

He dropped his briefcase, flung his coat on the floor, and with hungry eyes met Jackie on the couch. “I looked forward to this all day.” It was a hard, passionate kiss. Staring into Jackie’s eyes, he said, “Let me change out of this monkey suit. Be forewarned, tonight will be a slow, steamy, romantic celebration.”

“Sounds wonderful. I’ll pop the champagne.” When he returned wearing sweatpants only, she handed him a champagne glass. “Happy Anniversary, honey.”

“Here’s to many more.” Lifting their glasses they toasted and sealed it with a kiss. “Is that beef stew I smell?”

“It is. Whenever you’re ready.”

“That’s something to look forward to. For now, this is where I want to be.”

Jackie nestled into his shoulder as they sipped champagne and reminisced about the highlights of the past year. “I’m a lucky, lucky man.” He stood up, took her hand, and they slow danced as Lou Rawls sang, “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine.”

“Appropriate song,” Tony whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” they whispered in unison.

After their dance, they shared dinner by candlelight.

“This stew is fantastic, Jack. It’s off the charts.”

“I’m glad you like it. I’ll clean up a bit. Why don’t you get the living room ready for dessert?”

“Don’t worry about cleaning. Come.” He took her hand and led her to the blanket spread over the shag rug in front of the fire. He threw a log on the fire, brought over the ice bucket with champagne, and sat down beside her.

“You’re so freaking sexy,” she said. Without a word, Tony lifted off her chemise. Taking her face in both hands, he kissed her mouth then her neck, working his way down to her breasts. He cupped her breasts in his hands and enjoyed his idea of dessert. They spent the next few hours exploring each other’s bodies in front of the fire, enjoying their acquired easy comfort.

“Happy Anniversary, honey. I love you so much,” Jackie said as they got into bed after midnight.

“I love you more.”

July 1977

B
y late July, Jackie felt strange … kind of pregnant.
I can’t be pregnant. I’m on the pill!
A few weeks passed and she became edgy. One night as they ate dinner, Tony asked, “You don’t seem yourself, Jackie. Is something wrong?”

“Ah, nothing
… I don’t know. I don’t feel right.”

“Is it the flu or something?”

“Or something. I don’t know how to say this, but I feel kinda … pregnant.”

“Pregnant! That’s ridiculous! You’re on the pill, for Chrissake.”

“Yeah. Maybe I’m paranoid.”

“You must be,” Tony agreed. “But if you are, we’ll take care of it.”

“What do you mean, ‘we’ll take care of it,’” Jackie asked, surprised by his comment.

“Well you know, you’ll have an abortion. I know that
—
”

“You’re kidding, right?” She felt like she’d been punched in the stomach.

“No, not exactly, I mean …”

Her face flushed crimson. “Tony! I can’t believe what I’m hearing! You know how I feel about that!”

“Calm down, for Chrissake. Then, it was hypothetical. For that matter, it’s hypothetical now.”

Jackie shook her head, trying to decipher the dissonance. “We’re discussing a possibility. And your off-the-cuff comment that we’d get an abortion is indicative of your true feelings.”

“Look,
if
you’re pregnant and that’s a
big
if, we can’t handle having a baby. I just got this apartment. We’re not even living together yet. We can’t raise a baby.”

Her eyes blazed. “You’re amazing. Where the hell is the guy who said abortion was fine for other people, but not his kid?”

“That was different.” His arms folded like a barricade.

“It was a lie. You said what I wanted to hear!” Tears burned her eyes. “I hope to God I’m not pregnant so I can tell you to go to hell! I’m outta here!” She grabbed her purse, slamming the door behind her.

*

The following day, Jackie made an appointment for a blood test. During the three agonizing days she awaited results, the couple did not speak. Jackie couldn’t get herself to call him, but also couldn’t believe that he had not called her. Overwhelming resentment made her realize that maybe it was best if they didn’t speak before the results were known.

After three unbearable days, the nurse phoned. “The test is positive. You’re three weeks pregnant.”

Jackie could barely breathe but managed to ask, “How could this happen? I’m on the pill!”

“Oh, this isn’t happy news? Jackie, no birth control is one hundred percent effective,” the nurse told her.

“Are you absolutely sure? Could there be any mistake?”

“No Jackie, the test is definitive. You’re pregnant.”

The words echoed in her mind as she replaced the receiver forgetting to utter a courteous good-bye. She sank into the nearest chair, paralyzed.
Oh my God, No! Please, No!
She wanted to awaken from this nightmare. She needed to talk to Tony but decided to wait until he called her.

Tony called on Thursday. His voice was tender. “I miss you. Are you still mad at me?”

“I’m still shocked. I can’t believe what you said. I feel like I don’t even know you!”

“Jackie, it was hypothetical and hypotheticals are never good. Let’s talk about it when we know for sure. When are you getting tested?”

Not ready to say the words that would change her life as she knew it, she responded, “Tomorrow.”

“I miss you so much. This place isn’t the same without you around.”

“I miss you too.”

“Let’s go out for dinner tonight and start over.”

“Okay, but it better be some place good.” She so wanted everything to go back to normal. She knew she had to tell Tony the news but feared his reaction and losing him
. Maybe somehow we’ll work this out. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said. He knows there’s a chance. Maybe he needs time.
She opted to leave him wondering for now.

They both left the topic of pregnancy off the table for the evening. Following a quiet dinner, they went to the marina and made love on the boat.

“I’ll make you dinner tomorrow night, okay?”

“Sure, that will be great.” Tony kissed her good night in front of her house.

*

The following night Jackie made spaghetti with sausages, and practiced the words she’d say.
Tony I’m pregnant. No. Honey, I have the test results. Let him ask for the results.
She lit a cigarette to soothe her nerves.

When Tony got home, she met him at the door. “Hi, honey.” She kissed him hello.

“It’s so nice coming home to you. I missed you immensely,” he whispered in her ear, hugging her tightly.

“Me too. I’ve got wine waiting by the sofa.”

Noting a single glass, he asked, “None for you?”

“Oh no, I’m
…
my stomach’s queasy.” He completely missed the hint. “Come, sit.” She patted the space beside her.