Read On the Outside Looking In (Wrong Reasons) Online
Authors: JL Paul
“If I promise to let you walk me home and invite you in, will you shut up?” I asked.
He mimed zipping his lip and tossing away the key. I finished my work in peace. Dante came out from the back to lock the door. He greeted Evan who waved, his lips still tightly closed.
“What’s with him?” Dante asked.
“You don’t want to know,” I said. “I’m finished so I’m out of here.”
“See you later.”
After punching out, I dragged Evan out the back door and up the steps to my apartment. I unlocked the door and flipped on a light.
“I have water, juice, and soda,” I said, taking off my coat and draping it over a chair. “I’m going to change so help yourself.”
He nodded, still not speaking.
“Oh, for goodness sake, stop with the zipped lip thing.”
I hurried to my bedroom and quickly changed into a pair of pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt. Comfort over fashion.
When I returned to the kitchen, Evan was sitting at the table with a bottle of water in front of him and an opened can of diet soda for me. I slipped into the seat across from him, fiddling with the can.
“About the other night,” he began.
“Forget it,” I said with a wave of the hand. “I probably overreacted. I tend to do that.”
“You might have had a point,” he said. “I suppose I get a little over protective.”
I smiled. “So, we have flaws.”
“Yep, we do. Makes us more interesting, don’t you think?”
“It makes us human, at least,” I said.
“So, what are your buddies up to?” he asked, smoothly shifting the conversation.
“Not much,” I said. “They had brunch at the Newton house and then met me at the mall. We just walked around, browsing and talking.”
“Did Irelyn replace Jessica yet?” he asked. “You know, in the wedding?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t talk about the wedding,” I said with a frown. “Hm.”
“Yes,
hm,” he said. “I mean, aren’t girls all ga-ga over weddings? Especially their own?”
“Most, I suppose,” I said, my mind whirring. Was Irelyn not excited about her wedding? Was she having second thoughts? I needed to call her in the morning.
“And what about Bailey?” he asked. “Morning sickness? Ultrasound results?”
“We didn’t talk about that, either,” I said. “What’s with the questions about my friends?”
“Just being polite,” he said. “I can tell you about my friends if you’d like.”
“What friends?” I asked. “I’ve never really heard you mention them.”
“Want a list?” he asked with a grin. He took a drink from his bottle. “I hung out in the garage with my uncle yesterday. We worked on this old hotrod he’s restoring.”
“Oh.”
“Remember Ridley? The girl that came into Rusty’s the other day?”
I nodded.
“She came by. She hasn’t seen my aunt and uncle in a long time,” he said. “She’s a friend and I just mentioned her – how’s that?”
I remembered Ridley, the pretty girl from the bar. Something hot burned in my chest. “Oh, that’s nice.”
“Jealous?” he asked, hiding a smirk.
“No. She’s your friend,” I said.
He laughed as he drained his water bottle. “Yeah, she is. We met in one of the children’s homes when we were kids. We bounced around foster homes and stuff – running each other from time to time. We’ve tried to keep in touch. We have no romantic feelings for each other.”
“You don’t have to explain,” I said. “I trust you.”
“Good,” he said as he came around the table and helped me to my feet. “Because you’re woman enough for me.”
Yanking me into his arms, his lips crashed against mine in a kiss that warmed me from head to toe. But as my arms wound around his neck, I couldn’t help but to think about Spencer.
Chapter Sixteen
“…and then the guy said ‘If they wanted it to sound like a sitar, they’d play the sitar!’ I about died!”
Spencer doubled over, laughing so hard that he elbowed his coffee cup, knocking it to the counter.
“Shit, Morg, sorry.”
“No problem,” I said as I grabbed a rag and wiped up the mess. “So, the recording is going well?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, running a hand through his hair as I refilled his cup. “It’s going slower than we expected but we’re nearly finished.”
“Oh, good.”
“Yeah,” he said. “The photo shoots were fun though.” He rolled his eyes, bringing a smile to my lips.
“I saw the CD cover – the one that you guys gave to Rusty,” I said.
“That’s just a preliminary,” he explained. “We promised him a real one once it’s official.”
“That’s cool,” I said.
He leaned on the counter, watching as I wiped up my area, hoping that the slow evening continued and I could lock up early. Tuesdays were the worst and I usually managed to avoid working them, but I’d switched with one of the girls when she pleaded that she had an exam that she had to prepare for. I sort of doubted that but didn’t argue. It just meant that I wouldn’t have to work Sunday morning.
“I actually suggested that you do our photo shoot,” Spencer said as he sipped his coffee. “But I guess the label has a contract with a photographer or something.”
“Wow, thanks,” I said. “I’m flattered that you even considered me.”
“Yeah, well, I figure you’re probably pretty amazing, even though you don’t show anyone your pictures.”
“I’m just an amateur,” I said. “I’m not ready to show anyone just yet. You remember how Irelyn didn’t let anyone read her stuff?”
“Well,
she self-pubs now,” Spencer said. “Plus, she let Lucas read some of her stuff when they were dating.”
I shrugged.
“So…” he said.
“So, what?”
I asked.
“So, I think you should at least let one person see them,” he said. “You know, like… I don’t know…me?”
My heart fluttered in my chest. Was he flirting? Hinting around at something?
“You, huh?”
I said, with a broad smile.
“Sure,” he said. “I’d be honest.”
“I know,” I said. “Maybe I will.”
“Great,” he grinned.
I finished wiping everything down and then began taking apart one of the machines. We didn’t officially close for another fifteen minutes but I didn’t see any harm in getting a head start. I just had to pray that no one came in asking for a specialty coffee.
“So, what’s up with you?” he asked.
“Nothing much,” I said as I washed parts in the sink, setting them aside to dry. “Just school and work.”
“How’s your family?”
“The same,” I said. “I talked to my mother yesterday. She’s convinced that I’m only going to college to find a husband. It gets a little annoying.”
He laughed. “Are you serious? That’s sort of an old fashioned sort of thing, isn’t it?”
I lifted a shoulder as I dried my hands on a towel. “That’s how she was raised.”
“Isn’t that how you were raised?” he asked.
“Sort of. My dad had other plans for me. He wants me to get an education.”
“You should,” he said, following me as I walked around the counter to clean the tables before stacking the chairs. “Need help?”
“No, I can do this in my sleep.”
“I bet,” he said.
As I sprayed and wiped, I wondered, not for the first time that evening, what Spencer was doing there. He’d waltzed in about twenty minutes earlier, ordered a cup of coffee, and began chatting as if it was something he did every day.
“Are you going with the girls this weekend?” Spencer asked.
“What?” I asked.
“Irelyn and Bailey – are you going with them to Bailey’s parents’ house?” he asked, causing me to stop working so I could give him a curious look. “They’re supposed to be shopping for baby stuff and look at junk for the wedding.”
“Oh,” I said, forcing a smile. “No, I’m not going.”
His brows crashed together. “Are you working or something?”
“I’m off this weekend,” I said.
“Well, why aren’t you going?”
Heat rushed to my face as I struggled to come up with some excuse. I was far too embarrassed to tell him the truth. “I have plans.”
He set his cup on a table and crossed his arms over his chest. “Did they ask you?”
Releasing a breath, I turned back to my work. “It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is,” Spencer said. “I mean, you’re in the wedding party. Just because Bailey is Maid of Honor doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be included.”
My heart twitched. Irelyn had never specified who was her Maid of Honor, although I shouldn’t be surprised. They were very close now.
“Bailey mentioned something over the weekend about shopping with her stepmother for maternity stuff. She probably just invited Irelyn at the last minute.”
“Hm,” Spencer said.
“What?” I asked as I stacked chairs on top of the clean table.
“Irelyn asked for this weekend off a month ago.”
“Oh,” I said in a flippant voice. I was hoping and praying that he’d stop with this conversation thread. I didn’t want him to know how much it was getting to me.
“They should include you,” he said.
I turned to him with the best smile I could muster. “They don’t have to include me in everything. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to go, anyway.”
Pursing his lips, he let the matter drop. He finished his coffee and threw the cup into the trash can by the door. “So, are your plans this weekend with Evan?”
“Yeah,” I said before I could stop the word from crossing my lips.
“Things are going pretty good there, huh?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “I mean, we haven’t been dating long and it’s not serious or anything.”
Startled at my declaration, I searched my heart for the reason why I’d answered that way. Hadn’t things been great the night before? Hadn’t he turned me to mush with his sweet and sensual kisses? Yes, he had. So why was I downplaying my relationship to Spencer?
“He’s a cool guy,” Spencer said. “I don’t know him well but Rusty thinks the world of him.”
“He’s a good guy,” I said.
“I hope he treats you right,” Spencer said in what was supposed to be a stern tone.
Giggling, I nodded. “He does.”
“Good,” Spencer said as he stood in front of me. “You deserve to be treated right.”
“Thanks,” I whispered as I looked up at him.
“I’m getting out of here,” he said, bending to place a kiss on my cheek. “Catch you later.”
“Okay,” I said with a goofy smile as I followed him to the door. “Be safe.”
He waved as he strolled to his car. I locked the door behind him, still smiling, and finished my closing routine.
***
Frowning at my phone, I sat at a table by myself, ignoring my lunch. I’d texted Evan several times last night and this morning but hadn’t received a single response. Maybe something was wrong with his phone. I hoped that was it and nothing was wrong with him.
“What’s up, Morg?” Bailey asked as she plopped down across from me.
“Nothing,” I said, tucking my phone into my pocket. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” she said. “My appetite is disgusting, though.”
Glancing at her tray, I immediately understood what she meant. Not only was it heaping with food, but her choices were rather questionable. Broccoli, chocolate pudding, a banana, a cheeseburger, two oatmeal raisin cookies, and a can of prune juice.
“Don’t say a word,” she said as she dug into the pudding. “This kid is a freak or something.”
I laughed as I eyed my salad, my appetite totally gone. “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling okay.”
“Yeah, the pregnancy hasn’t been too bad,” she said. “Guess I’m lucky.”
“Guess so,” I said.
“Something wrong?” she asked as she chugged her juice. “You seem off.”
“No,” I said. “Just thinking about a project I have coming up.”
“Don’t stress about it,” she said. “You’re a good student. You’ll get it done.”
“I know,” I said, forcing a smile. “So, how are your classes going?”
“They’re not too taxing,” she said. “Next semester is the same. My dad sort of prepared me for all these business courses – always talking about this shit, showing me how to do things. Of course the laws and stuff will be tough, but I’ll get through.”
“You’re a pro already.”
She snorted. “I wouldn’t say that, but I do have a handle on things.”
We chatted about classes while she plowed through her lunch and I pushed mine around on the plate. Luckily, she was too preoccupied with her food to give mine much notice.
“So, I’m hoping to get this business plan done for class by this weekend,” she continued. “I’m going home and I don’t want to worry about homework.”
“That sounds like fun,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “My dad wants to see me. He’s still a little nervous about the whole pregnancy thing. He’ll probably quiz me on what I plan to do once the baby is born, make sure I intend to finish college, shit like that.”
“I suppose I can understand his concern,” I said.
She shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. It’ll be a total pain in the ass, though. And it sucks that Collin isn’t going.”
“He’s staying here?” I asked.
“Yeah, he has some promo stuff to do for the label,” she said. Pushing her tray away, a wicked smile graced her lips as she leaned over the table. “I hate being away from him now because my sexual appetite is like my food appetite – it’s increased like mad!”
I giggled. Bailey had never been one to tamp down her sexuality. “I’m sure he’s not complaining.”
“Hell no,” she said, still grinning. “And he pisses Lucas off all the time. Irelyn has this romantic idea that she and Lucas shouldn’t engage in sex until after the wedding. Collin makes sure to rub it in all the time.”
“Oh, no,” I said as a touch of heat went to my cheeks. I wasn’t a total prude, but I’d only had one sexual experience – if you could call it that – and I’d already shared it with my friends. How many times could I tell them the story of Logan
Bredford, who was as much a bookworm as me, making out with me in his car one night during senior year? Poor Logan who was just as inexperienced and only lasted as long as it took to put on the condom. After that, we were both embarrassed and the night ended. We could never look at each other again. That hardly qualified as anything other than total humiliation. I couldn’t relate to Bailey’s increased desire or Irelyn’s wish to put her sex life on hold until after her wedding.
Sighing a little, I wished, not for the first time, that I had some kind of experience so I could commiserate with my friends.
Bailey, hearing my tiny sigh and remembering who she was talking to, straightened and finished her juice. “So, how are things with Evan?”
“I’m not sure right now,” I frowned. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with him since last night and he hasn’t responded.”
“Maybe he’s working and can’t,” she said with a shrug. “Don’t worry about it. The dude is into you, Morg – he’ll call you when he can.”
When she put it that simply, I managed to relax. Yeah, he was probably busy at the garage.
“You’re right,” I said as I took a bite of my salad. “I guess I worry too much about stuff.”
“You do,” Bailey said. She stood, tray in hand. “I
gotta get out of here. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay,” I said, watching her walk toward the garbage cans. Although she was starting to get a bit of a baby bump, she was still beautiful. And most of the guys in the cafeteria noticed.
Blowing a puff of air at the hairs in my eyes, I fought a bout of jealousy. Why would I care if they looked at her? I didn’t need guys drooling over me.
Not able to finish my salad, I followed Bailey’s footsteps and dumped the remainder of my lunch in the trash before stepping out into the cold December air.
***
Even though I’d told Bailey I wouldn’t worry about the lack of communication with Evan, I couldn’t help but to do just that.
I paced my living room, phone in hand, wondering what exactly was going on. He knew that I was off but hadn’t contacted me whatsoever.
“Damn it,” I said as I sent one last text, telling him that I was home and if he wanted to talk about whatever was making him ignore me to come over. After the text sent, I tossed my phone on the sofa and wandered into the kitchen to make a cup of hot tea. The ball was in his court now.
Sitting at the kitchen table drinking my tea, I thought about my conversation with Bailey. Obviously, Spencer hadn’t said anything about me not being invited to tag along with Bailey and Irelyn this weekend. That was a relief. I didn’t want to seem more pathetic than I already felt at times.