Authors: Kimberly Slivinski
“You are so much fun to be around,” Jenna announced. We walked to the closet to retrieve our coats. “I can’t believe I never thought of talking to you before.”
“Probably the same reason I didn’t branch out sooner. We both like to stick with what’s comfortable.”
She pulled my coat off the rack and handed it to me. “I believe you when you say that, Kara, but I always thought you seemed really outgoing. At least you can front it even if you’re not.”
“Thanks,” I smirked. Then I glanced down at my coat and my happy bubble burst. “Crap!” Jenna’s face fell when she noticed the bold letters painted onto the back of my jacket,
LOSER
. “It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if my Father hadn’t given my mom this coat as a gift when I was born. We both use it.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jenna said, leaning over to hug me. The guilt she was burdening herself was enough to make me cry. I had to respond fast before we both burst into full-fledged water works, giving Hailey what she wanted.
“I had fun today, really. Volunteering with the play won’t become a stable activity for me though. Considering the company that lurks in the shadows, I should probably keep my distance.” She nodded her head as her glassy eyes tried to repress the tears. I should have been the one crying, but Jenna’s fragile nature kept me from falling apart. “My mom is a whiz at removing stains so don’t give this another thought.”
Our ride home was mellow, but it gave me a chance to figure out what I was going to tell Mom when I got home. After I dropped Jenna off, I hurried in the laundry room entrance, hoping not to be noticed. I decided not telling my mom would be the best scenario.
“Kara, I thought I heard you come in. What—” Her eyes immediately found the stain and I offered up the most pathetic apologetic expression I could muster. Before I had a chance to take note of her reaction a flash lit up the room and I disappeared.
Could the timing have been any worse?
When my world stopped spinning and I could focus on my surroundings, I realized I was standing in a driveway just after sunrise. The newspaper had been delivered, but not yet read. I picked it up, September 14, 2000. A bus was inching towards the stop sign at the end of the road and I instantly decided to make myself scarce. I didn’t want it stopping for me.
I put the paper back down and walked along the road. I ducked into the woods just as the bus zoomed past. Even in a rush I was able to make out the face of the child staring out of the bus at me. It was a young Gage and he definitely recognized me.
“Great. I’m obviously not done with the Parton family yet,” I groaned. I spotted their house and made my way towards it. A cop car was parked out front. There had probably been some kind of domestic dispute.
I didn’t make it far on their property when I began to hear shouting. It was muffled and there was an echo of static behind the entire conversation. My arm brushed by a bush on the far edge of the property, knocking something to the ground with a loud thump. I bent over and found the source of the shouting, a walkie-talkie. Gage must have set it up so he could avoid being home during their fights. It was rather ingenious.
“I can’t take this anymore. The boys deserve better. I deserve better,” a woman yelled softly.
“This has nothing to do with the boys and you know it,” the man bellowed. A loud smack reverberated and the woman responded with an agonizing cry. “You are all my property, Lilly, and I can do as I see fit to keep you in line. I work for the police and everyone on the force adores and respects me. Before you go making any accusation you will regret, you better remember that.”
“Don’t you get tired of making these threats, Fred? I know I am tired of it. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m going to figure out something else. I can’t live like this, with you, any longer.”
Fred started to cackle. His laugher was full of condemnation and ridicule. This was not a man who would give up easily. After his laughter died, I heard a struggle and the static’s intensity grew. Then the front door to the house swung open with a whack. Gage’s father was leaving. I dropped to my knees and blocked myself from view until I knew the cop car was safely out of sight.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do or how I could help. My academic standing qualified me for a spelling bee or maybe some kind of young teens Jeopardy round, but helping out a family suffering from abuse? I didn’t even qualify to answer the phones at a hotline center. Why did God hand me this for my first assignment? Was I supposed to learn from my failure?
As I struggled to understand my task at hand, I heard the static diminish, followed by a soft cry. Lilly Parton was crying and she sounded desperate. I ascended to my feet and bolted towards the house. “Dear Lord, please don’t let that man come back while I’m here,” I prayed softly.
When she didn’t answer the doorbell rings or my ceaseless pounding on the door, I made a bold decision and decided to enter on my own. The door was unlocked. I crept quietly down the hall and followed the sounds of the subdued cries. It didn’t take long to find her. She was crouched down on the kitchen floor clutching something.
“Who are you and what are you doing in my house?” she asked softly. Her voice tried to be accusatory, but lacked the necessary energy to be intimidating. She probably hoped I’d just put her out of her misery.
“I heard you arguing with your husband. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” I moved closer to her. A silver chain with something indiscernible on the end was clutched tightly in her grasp.
She noticed me staring. “This was a cross my Mother had blessed by the Pope. It was very special to me and he knew it. He threw it in the garbage disposable as if it were junk. I don’t know what to do.”
“Can’t you take your boys and go to some kind of safe house?”
“It’s not that easy,” she sobbed. “He’d find us. He has ways around everything in this city. I’m trapped. Trapped in a cruel and loveless marriage and my boys are suffering for it.”
“Could you just take them and make a run for it?” My suggestions were pitiful, commonsensical even, so how could I even think I could be of help?
“I have no money, no job, nothing without him. He knows this. I thought I could reason with him but I can’t. It’s hopeless. He’s even threatened to get me locked up.” I didn’t mean to but I gasped. “I don’t know who you are sweetie, but you can’t help me. I wish you could.”
“I’m good at problem solving, ma’am,” I offered. “I am going to think about this and figure something out.” There had to be some kind of Lifetime movie or newsreel that could give me some good ideas.
“No one can help me, dear.” She stood up and walked me to the back door. “He has people watching this house. I really hope they didn’t see you come in.” She glanced around the backyard, her face glistening with fear. “Please don’t trouble yourself with me because only harm will come to you. Fred isn’t a nice man and he could hurt you too. Thanks for checking on me… ah, what did you say your name was?”
“Kara,” I said, offering her my hand. “And you’re wrong. God wants to help you. If you believe like I think you do, everything is going to be okay.”
Her face brightened, if only for a second, and she squeezed my hand firmly. I heard a loud bark from the front of the house and I knew her husband had returned. My legs moved swiftly through the dense forest of their backyard and I didn’t stop until I was good and lost. The isolated area I had chosen to collapse in was perfect. The floodgates opened and I buried my face in my hands as I thought about what an unqualified and complete failure I truly was.
The flash happened so quickly that I hadn’t realized what had happened. My Mom was embracing me with a firm hold as the sobs continued to pour out of me. “I know school can be tough, dear, but you’ve always been really strong. You shouldn’t let this get to you. It was just a prank. Are you sure you were the intended target?”
“What?” I said, lifting my head. It took me a moment to comprehend where I was. My mom thought I was crying about something entirely different. She was holding up the coat, examining the damage. “You mean you’re not upset?”
“It’s just a coat, Kara,” she smiled. “I mean… it is definitely special, but I know I have something here that can remove the stain. I hope you’re not crying on my account.”
I pulled myself together and stepped away from her. “Thanks, Mom.”
“So are you going to tell me what happened? This doesn’t have to do with your new friends, does it?”
“Yes and no,” I replied with a half-smile. She wasn’t amused. “One of the girls I used to hang with doesn’t like that I’m associating with other people. She’s trying to make things difficult to prove that I’ve made the wrong decision.”
“Have you?” she asked as she scrubbed away on the stain. It was slowly fading and I was certain she’d return it to mint condition without breaking a sweat. There was no way I was wearing that coat to school again.
“Hailey was definitely not my friend if she would stoop to something like this,” I snorted. “My new friends are the genuine kind. They hardly know me and they came to my defense today. Even if Hailey continues her antics, I won’t regret my decision.”
“Good as new,” she announced. “So how about some double chocolate ice cream sundaes? I picked up the ingredients on my way home from school today.”
“Definitely,” I said, following her into the kitchen. “It’s not often that you have your evenings off.”
We sat down at the table with our chocolate decadence, the best way to relieve stress, and began to talk. Mom shared several new hilarious tales from the elementary trenches and I filled her in on the details of the Young Life club meeting from the night before. My mood had definitely improved in a short span of time.
“Mom, how did you know Dad was the one?”
A smile immediately illuminated her face. “Are you interested in a boy? I have to say that I have been waiting for you to talk to me about this one for years. I was beginning to think you weren’t interested in boys at all.”
“Mom!” I said horrified.
“Well… in this day and age you never know. I just thought you would’ve had a boyfriend by now and since you haven’t.” Her voice drifted off.
“The boys at my school are really juvenile, Mom. There’s no one that stands out.”
Mom’s laughter was filled with sarcasm and she knew I’d pick up on it. “If you are waiting for a prince you will be waiting a long time. They just don’t exist. There is no perfect male, believe me.”
“What about Dad?” I asked defensively. “You loved him and you haven’t dated since. He obviously stood out.”
“He stood out to
me
,” she smiled. “But he definitely wasn’t perfect. Besides, you are young and need to spread your wings. Dating can be fun even if it ends badly.”
Yeah if only she knew the reality of what she was saying
. “I’m sure college will just provide you with a new wave of immature males. You just need to enjoy yourself. Have a little fun. As long as you are careful, of course, there’s nothing wrong with a bunch of first dates.”
“College will definitely be a nice change of scenery, but I don’t think the boys there will measure up.” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Crap
.
“So you
have
met someone,” she said, fully immersing herself in the conversation. “But I thought you just said none of the guys at school were good enough? Is it someone from that new group of yours?”
“Let’s just say he’s not from around here,” I began. Her eyes widened, clearly expressing a slight panic. “And before you say anything let me just say that he isn’t a trouble maker. I just ran into him one day.”
“Mmm hmm,” she said, easing up on the spoon she had gripped tightly between her fingers. “When am I going to meet this boy?”
“Well I don’t think you will. We are not dating or anything, I just kind of bump into him every now and again. He’s not interested in me like
that
anyway.”
Though I wish he was
.
“I guess it’s okay for you to imagine there is a perfect guy out there,” she said, giving me a kiss as she rose from the table. “Just try not to get your heart broken by this, um, recluse.”
“He’s not a recluse, Mom. He’s just really busy.”
She blew me off with a simple wave in the air. At least she hadn’t asked any further questions because I wasn’t sure how I would have answered them. Luke’s job was indefinable, and his age, well, she’d never believe me. It was better if she thought I had a simple crush on a loner than the truth. She’d most certainly have me locked away. I wouldn’t want to leave her abandoned by the only family she had left, even if it was by her own accord.
I went through the motions of my nightly rituals wishing I could free my mind of the troubling events of the day. The incident with the coat was disappointing, but not life altering. The encounter with Lilly Parton was another story. If it was my job to alter the path of her life, I was doing a lousy job. I didn’t have the slightest inkling of how to help her.
My hot shower hadn’t done anything to ease my trepidation. I crawled into bed hoping I would see Luke again in my dreams. Somehow, I figured he’d know what to do. He had been doing his job for decades and he had to have some experience with domestic violence. As I pictured Lilly curled up on the floor, I found myself tearing up again. I wasn’t a crybaby, yet I had already met my years’ quota in the past few hours. It was pathetic, really.
I closed my eyes, gathered a visual image of the church and I said a prayer.
Please God help me with this venture. I don’t know what I’m doing and I need your guidance
. When the bright light filled my room only seconds later, I hoped I was on my way to see Luke and find some answers.
I couldn’t believe my prayer had been answered so quickly. If I knew I’d get such a quick response I would’ve dropped to my knees hours ago. Maybe that’s not how it worked and I just managed to time things just right. Whatever the reason, I found myself giving thanks as I sat on the ground in front of the church trying not to weep any further.