Authors: Kimberly Slivinski
Luke turned to face me. “What was with the outfit?” My eyebrows flared. “What I meant to say was that I haven’t seen anyone dressed like that since I was young and it wasn’t something I expected you to be wearing.”
“I thought I told you already…but maybe not,” I began. “We have a big school dance in two weeks and the theme is the Victorian Era. Everyone will be dressed in attire reminiscent of the late 1800’s.”
“So do you have a date for this dance?” He whispered, meeting my eyes briefly.
He’s interested in my dating status. That’s something.
“I just assumed that after what happened with Gage you must not be seeing anyone.”
“Why do you say that?” I was as curious to understand his assumptions, as he was to get answers to his questions. Something seemed different about him tonight, like he was watching me or looking at me differently. Maybe I just wanted him to be.
“Because if you’d been with someone that night, he wouldn’t have let you out of his sight,” he beamed briefly. “And he wouldn’t have wanted to spend time with you at some adolescent party.”
“Ha,” I laughed. His face fell and I immediately regretted my sarcastic retort. “Guys these days don’t think like that. They think with their pants, Luke, and that’s it. At least the guys I’ve met. Parties are just a way to get girls to relax so they can take advantage of them. All teenage boys are the same.” I thought of my Young Life friends and wanted to retract my generalization… but I didn’t.
“Then you shouldn’t date any of them,” he announced immediately. “You’re too good for that.”
His unmistakable interest in my love life was unexpected, exciting even. “Well, if you know of anyone I’m all ears,” I teased. “Otherwise I’ll be going to the dance with someone from my Young Life group. He’ll keep his hands to himself.”
“Good,” Luke replied, avoiding my eyes. “You looked beautiful by the way. I don’t remember any of the women in my time taking my breath away like that.”
An intense mix of emotions stirred within me.
What is he doing to me?
“I’m sure that leaper you were talking to would most definitely outshine me if she were to don the same dress.”
“I disagree,” he said, standing up. He walked to the far side of the dock and stood silently.
My heart thumped wildly from all his complements. I scrambled to my feet. I was afraid my lightheaded daze would result in me falling into the water again. Poor Luke would have to jump in and save me yet again—not that such an act would be a bad thing.
“I don’t understand you, Luke,” I finally announced. “One minute you are acting like an older brother and the next you seem interested in me. Which is it?”
Luke turned around, strolled towards me and put a hand to his forehead briefly. His face was suddenly so close to mine I could barely breathe. “Those days are over for me, Kara, and your life is just beginning.”
“Luke,” I whispered. My voice was shaking, my throat was dry and I was afraid if I made contact with him I would lose control of myself. “How do you know that? You are here in my dream and you say that’s never happened to you before. Maybe—”
He put a finger over my mouth. “I can’t lose my focus, Kara. I have a job to do and as much as I am feeling I can’t…I just can’t.”
The tension between us was substantial and I was certain he could hear the thumping of my heart by now. The sound escaping my mouth was barely a croak, “as much as you are feeling? What does that even mean?”
Luke’s soft eyes immediately became strained. He pulled away, briefly kissed the top of my head, and moved on towards the forest. “I have to go.”
“Luke, please,” I begged.
Don’t go.
“I think we both need to remember who we work for. We both have a job to do and I think that’s where our focus should be.” He stepped into a sliver of light and gave me a heartbreaking smile before he vanished.
Luke was struggling emotionally and it was obvious that he wasn’t going to open up and share his anguish with me. Was God testing our devotion by allowing us to spend this time together? I guess I’d never know. What I did know was that my feelings for Luke were beginning to supersede everything else. Luke was right. I needed to get back to my assigned task and get the job done.
I’d spent the entire visit with Luke thinking about feelings and had forgotten to mention Gage’s visit and the complications with Jenna. Was I supposed to discuss work in my sleep? Was that why he’d been allowed to come see me? I was so confused. As my happy place began to dissolve and blur, it became evident I was about to experience another restless night.
School was buzzing with talk about the dance. After a dry run with their costumes, everyone was comparing notes. I wanted to be excited about our school’s epic event, but my last few days had been downright depressing. I had several flash meet ups with Luke to strategize and neither of us had managed to come up with any advantageous ideas. On top of that, when I asked Luke anything personal he would shut down and say he had to go. Apparently our relationship was going to be strictly business from now on.
“So what do you think about this year’s prom theme?” The school’s widely known news reporter barked as he jammed his video camera in my face.
I threw open my locker to obscure his view. “What are you doing?”
“I’m documenting,” he announced as he lowered his camera. “I’m going to do a special on the dance from beginning to end. You know ‘proof’ that it actually took place. It’s such an original idea; they might consider showcasing us on the local news.”
That made me laugh. “Sure thing, but I’m not interested in being in your video.”
Once the metal of my locker door made contact with its latch mechanism, I swiftly shuffled past him without a second glance. Then a realization dawned on me, thanks to the bothersome school reporter I finally knew what I needed to do to solve my first task. As soon as I could work out the fine details I’d set my strategy in motion.
At the end of the school day, while everyone was rushing around getting arrangements finalized for the upcoming dance, I headed home. I burst through the door to my house and immediately rummaged through the hall closet. It was the one time I wished I had taken the time to help my mom organize. After ten minutes I finally found what I was looking for. Our close family friend, who was always buying up the newest and greatest in photography equipment, had passed his passé compact video recording camera on to us.
I spent the next hour messing with the device, figuring out how to work it and set it up for timed recordings. I prayed I could bring it with me when I flashed out—an idea that was a bit of a stretch at best. Then there was the matter of timing everything just right so I could capture Gage’s father doing something illicit.
The prayers that needed to be addressed were abundant and there was no time to waste. I got down on my knees for the first time in my life to pray earnestly and without distraction. Seeing that I wanted my requests to be heard, it seemed like the proper way to address God.
“What on earth are you doing, Kara?” I glanced backwards just as a stifled snort resounded from the doorway. Reyna’s hands were on her hips and she was busy smacking a wad of chewing gum as she gave me a once over. “I have to say that was the most amusing thing I’ve seen in days.”
I stood up and shot her a defiant stare. “It’s called prayer, Reyna. You might want to try it some time. It’s humbling.”
“Chill,” she laughed. “I knew what you were doing. Believe it or not I actually say my prayers on a nightly basis.”
“Seriously?” I asked, my voice now softening.
“Yes. Just because I don’t attend those Young Life meetings with you doesn’t mean I don’t believe. I’ve just never seen someone praying so desperately. You were really concentrating and it was… humorous.”
I groaned. “My prayers were serious.” I glanced upwards and noticed a mop propped in the corner of the closet just above where I’d been kneeling. It probably appeared as though I’d been praying to the cleaning gods. I stuffed the mop back into the closet and leaned against the door. “Okay, I see your point. Next time I will pray in the privacy of my own room. Hopefully God hadn’t taken notice of my surroundings.”
“I like to think he has a sense of humor. Maybe you made his day and your prayers will be answered in no time.”
“Ha. Ha. So what do you need, Rey? You obviously came here to ask me something.”
She began to pace, something that was a bit of a feat for our narrow cluttered entryway. “I’m going to the Victorian dance with Gage,” she blurted out. “And before you say anything I want you to know that I don’t have an interest in him. He was the only one who asked me.” I raised an eyebrow and she exhaled loudly. “If it makes you feel any better I laughed in his face. Then of course he offered to be the perfect gentleman and said you’d reassure me of that. Is that true? Did you two make amends?”
I slid down the wall and sat on the cold floor. Her proclamation was a lot to absorb. “I guess you could say that I have forgiven him. I’d like to say that he will treat you right, but I can’t guarantee anything. I’m not his guardian.” I paused to glance up at her apprehensive gaze. She wanted my approval. “I’m not your mom either. Have a good time, but watch your back.”
“Gotcha,” she smiled, before joining me on the floor. “So what about you? Who are you going with?”
“I don’t know yet,” I admitted. “Jenna is lending me a dress and she said there are several guys who want to ask me. I guess they have another week and a half to inquire. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.”
“Half the senior population is going stag, so don’t sweat it if no one asks. You have to go. It’s going to be a blast.”
“Right,” I said, trying to match her excitement with a feeble grin.
“So you really enjoy hanging out with this Jenna and her friends?”
I turned to face her with my lips momentarily pursed. “They are all genuine people, Reyna, so yes. If you went to a meeting or two with me you would see that. I bet you would even have a good time.”
“Not interested, but thanks.” Reyna got up, patted the top of my head and walked to the door. “I’m glad to see you’ve finally found the place where you fit best. Too bad graduation is right around the corner.”
“Back to the drawing board I suppose,” I sighed.
Reyna retreated to her house. I tucked the camera under my arm and gripped it tightly. If I had to sleep with it I would. Without it, my plan was useless. I stepped into my bedroom and saw the white light begin to consume me.
Please let this work.
I oriented myself in record time only to realize my hands were empty. “Crap!” I stomped my feet on the ground like an adolescent child.
When I was finished with my tantrum, I stopped to take note of my surroundings. It was the middle of the day and I was standing in front of my family’s one story brick ranch. The exterior of the house stared back at me with a newness that had long since ebbed away and it made me nostalgic—almost. The driveway was deserted and thankfully Mom had left the spare key in the same spot for as long as I could remember.
I made sure no one was watching as I located the key, moved around the side of the house and accessed the back door. The entrance faced the woods and I knew no one would see me going in or out. Once inside, I brushed by a newspaper hanging off the kitchen counter and noted the date. My heart palpitated.
Weakened by the realization of my timing, I steadied myself in a chair. It was the day my dad had died. I remembered it clearly because he had died alone while she left to get me from school. She had never forgiven herself for leaving him or the fact that we both discovered him together. That’s where she was. She was picking me up from preschool.
I blocked all thoughts from my mind and hurried to the hall closet. I dug around until I found our large clunky video camera. Wanting to help me keep some memories of our time together, Mom had made a few videos for me when Dad was healthy. It had been way too long since I’d watched them and I was going to make an effort to pull them out when I got home to my time. I wanted to reconnect with my dad’s memory.
“Hello?” a voice croaked from the back of the house.
My throat swelled and I tried to repress the tears.
He’s still alive
. I plugged the camera into the wall to charge it and crept along the hall. I prayed I wouldn’t give him a heart attack when I rounded the corner to his room—after all I was a complete stranger as far as he knew.
“Kara, is that you?” he wheezed.
“Yeah, Dad… it’s me,” I whispered. Seeing him in his emaciated state was almost too much to bear. His dependency on the nearby machines was apparent and the translucency of his skin told me he was ready to go.
I walked over to his bedside and grabbed his hand. His lips began to move before mine even had a chance. “You’re so grown up. I always knew you’d do something special.”
“What do you mean?” I had expected him to be afraid of me, delusional at best, but he was definitely lucid. How did he even know who I was?
“You’re leaping for God. I can see the slight glow around you,” he smiled. “Have you come to see me off?”
“How do you know about that, Dad?” I squawked. My hands were suddenly trembling as his comments sunk in. I couldn’t believe I was actually spending time with my dad while he lay on his deathbed.
“Because I did it for many years, Kara. It was an honor like no other.” He smiled meekly and squeezed my hand. “Learn all you can and never give up hope. The Lord is always with you.” He began to cough and his breathing was labored. “Please do something for me.”
“Anything Dad,” I sniffed. “Anything.”
“Don’t let your mom lose her faith and don’t let her live out her life alone. She deserves to be happy.”
“Does Mom know about your gift, Dad?” My spirits lifted at the thought of sharing my new and extraordinary job with my mother.
“She has a basic understanding about it, but is resentful. She feels anyone who serves God shouldn’t be bestowed such a fate,” he took a labored breath. I feared each one would be his last. I wanted so much to save him, to have more time to get to know him. “It’s not the way it works I’m afraid. Some of God’s most devoted followers had to endure unimaginable pain. God has a plan for his faithful disciples and conscientious objectors alike. Whether we think it’s fair or not, that’s the way life is. I’m okay with this. It’s my time.”