Occult Suspense for Mothers Boxset: The Nostalgia Effect by EJ Valson and Mother's by Michelle Read (2 ebooks for one price) (42 page)

CH
APTER 67

Though I feel bad for the emotions Michael is going through,
I’m also excited at the possibility that he won’t let me go when he leaves tomorrow. I know deep down that he will struggle with the feelings of homesickness and leaving behind someone whom he connected with. But it assures me that if he
is
feeling these feelings, then he might hang on. And I need him to hang on.

Michael spends some time re-packing a few things upstairs while I get ready for the company that will arrive in two hours. A little after 3:00 p.m. my cell phone rings. I pick it up to check the caller ID and immediately feel a knot in my stomach when I see that it is Joe.

I take the phone and quickly head to the garage where it is quiet.

“Hello?” I say cheerfully.

“Hey, Jen, sorry to bug you, but it just occurred to me that tomorrow is Mother’s Day and Olivia has a gift for you and really wants to give it to you,” he says.

Crap! In the midst of all of this I totally forgot that it was Mother’s Day weekend. I feel like a horrible mother.

I quickly recover. “You know what, I would love to get that from her,” I say, forcing a smile.

“Well, what if she came and stayed there with you tonight?” he suggests.

I hurriedly try to figure out how this will work. I’m not technically married to Joe anymore, but Olivia has only been around Michael on occasion during the few company functions we have had, like
“Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.”
This would change up the night a bit, but she could just sleep with me and I could put Michael in a spare bedroom. Besides, I’m sure he would enjoy being around her.

“Sure, OK. I will come and get her in an hour,” I say before hanging up.

I tell Bjorn and Michael the new plan, and they are both fine with it. Michael even moves his stuff to the spare bedroom where Olivia normally sleeps. At 4:00 p.m. I leave Michael and Bjorn to skewer the shish kabobs while I get Olivia. I drive quickly to the house and meet her at the door.

“Hi, Mommy!” she squeals.

“Hi, Baby!” I say, hugging her tight.   

When I enter the house, Joe walks out of the kitchen. “Hey there,” he says, chipper.

“Hi,” I say back to him, then turn to Olivia. “Olivia, are you all packed?” I ask her.

“Yep. I just gotta get my backpack,” she says, as she runs back to her room.

“So, what are you going to do tonight?” I ask Joe, making conversation.

He gets a slight grin on his face. He appears a little sheepish.
“Actually…I have a date,” he says.  

Oddly enough this admission makes me a bit hopeful. I am curious, and a little put off, but this could be a good thing. “Oh, really. With who?” I ask, trying to be nonchalant.

“Just a girl I met at work,” he says, trying to downplay it. I can tell by his expression though that he is happy about this.

“Good, Joe. I’m happy for you.” I say smiling.

I can tell this admission surprises him. “Really?” he asks.

I nod. “Yeah. You deserve good things,” I reply.

His body seems to relax and he grins.
“Thanks,” he says.

“OK, Mommy, I’m ready!” Olivia shouts as she runs into the living room wearing her backpack and carrying a large teddy bear.

“Great!” I say enthusiastically.

Joe bends down and gives her a quick hug.
“Have a good Mother’s Day. I will be staying here tonight, but gone by late morning,” he says.

“No worries. Have a good date,” I say, jokingly giving a thumbs up. He chuckles as he closes the door behind us.

In the car I decide to try and get Olivia to tell me who Joe is going out with. “Hey, Livi, have you met any of daddy’s friends that are girls?” I ask her innocently.

“Um, no,” she says, oblivious to my intent as she looks out the car window.

“Do you know where he is going tonight?” I ask.

“Uh, uh.” she answers. I deflate. This is annoying. I want to know if it is Rachel! “But he talked to his friend Sara today,” she adds.

Sara? Who the hell is Sara? It sure isn’t Rachel!
“Oh, does she work with Daddy?” I ask.

“Yeah, she is really nice. She gave me a sucker when we went in to Daddy’s work yesterday,” she says excitedly.

Crap! Somehow in the midst of this, Joe has managed to land with the wrong girl. Dammit! I quickly think of what I can do to throw him back on course, but like Astrid says, I’m not supposed to try and control the outcome. What am I going to do about this anyway? Intervene? Play matchmaker? I think not.

CHAPTER 68

I’m still a bit irritated at Olivia’s revelation when I pull into my mom’s driveway. Lewis’ car is parked on the street in front of the house. I assume that Stacy is already here too. When I step out of the car I am hit by the scent of a smoking grill nearby. This instantly calms me and turns my mood around. I love barbecues. I love the easy breezy sense of summer days to come. Warm sun, late nights, wearing shorts, tan legs, the smell of sunscreen, swimming and the casualness of the season.

I remind myself that this is the last night with Michael that I can be sure of. I need to drop the other stuff about Joe from my mind and focus on the here and now. Olivia practically bounces into the house, excited to see her “Auntie Stacy” and play with the dog. My mom’s house is like her second home, equipped with her own bedroom and lots of toys.

Once inside the house, she immediately runs to the backyard to greet everybody. I hear voices greet Olivia, followed by her giggles – which I assume are inspired by the dog licking her face. I take off my shoes and put her things by the stairs.

“Hi!” Michael says from behind, startling me.

“Shit!” I say, laughing. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he says. “Hey, I had Lewis run me down to the store really quick and I got this for Olivia. Do you think she will like it?” he asks, as he reaches for a large, pink ball behind the banister.

My heart melts. “She will love it,’’ I say. “Thank you.”

He eagerly heads out to the back yard. I stay in the house and watch out the large window as he approaches her and hands her the ball. A smile as wide as an ocean sweeps across her face and she leans in to hug him while thanking him. Seconds later they are playing a game of soccer with the big ball that looks like a giant bubble gum bubble.

Olivia is wildly chasing the ball around the yard, trying to kick it and laughing the entire time. Michael is enjoying himself just as much. My heart aches a bit at the thought that he may never do this again with her or never get the chance to play with Stella.

I fight the urge to cry as I continue to prepare dinner. Michael, Stacy, Bjorn, Olivia and Lewis stay outside to take advantage of what’s left of the sunshine as the sun begins its retreat.

I preoccupy myself with a glass of wine, music and chopping vegetables. Michael checks in occasionally to see if I need help, but I just smile and tell him that
I’m fine and to go enjoy himself.

After a while Lewis walks into the house.
“The barbecue tank seems low. Michael is going to run to Stacy’s to get hers,” he says.

“Oh, OK. I will go with him. I know where it is,” I say. I check with Stacy, who is coloring with Olivia at the patio table, to make sure she can keep an eye on her.

“You going with me?” Michael asks, while putting on his shoes.

I nod. “Yep,” I say.

“Good,” he says, smiling.

The sun is beginning to tuck itself behind the coastal mountains when we step out of the house. The sky is painted orange and pink, and is almost blinding if you stare at it too long. As we begin our journey, Michael slips his hand into mine. We continue to walk in silence as we make our way through the neighborhood towards Stacy’s. Birds are chirping here and there. There is no one out on the street. It’s peaceful.

We head up Stacy’s driveway and I open the gate to her backyard. Michael walks ahead to start disconnecting the propane tank from the grill. I wait by the gate while he completes his task and watch some birds flying across the sky. It is the beginning of a beautiful night.

Michael comes around from the side of the house with the tank cradled in his arms. I can tell that it is full of gas and a bit heavy. I’m disappointed by the realization that we won’t be holding hands on the way back to my mom’s. And because Olivia is there, we are being careful not to be affectionate in front of her. It’s too soon for her to see me with someone else. And I don’t want her sharing any information about Michael and me with Joe.

We slowly make our way down the sidewalk to the house.
I’m a few steps ahead of Michael, who is concentrating on carrying the tank in an upright position. The sunset glows from behind him, illuminating his body. Life couldn’t point him out for me anymore obviously than it is right now. The light of the sun radiating upon him acts like a spotlight.

I stop at the corner where we usually cross and watch him approach me while I wait. He grunts a little as he sets the gas tank down to rest. His eyes meet mine and it happens before I can even sense it coming. Michael pulls me in, hands gently placed behind the back of my neck, and kisses me fully.

It’s like coming home after being gone for years. It’s like breathing again when you didn’t realize you were even out of breath. A rush of new, yet familiar, life fills my lungs and body all at once. My heart beats fast and hard in my chest. I lose all sense of what surrounds us and fall completely into his embrace. With every careful, long kiss, I feel my soul plant itself deeply into a foundation that I know we have built before. I hold on to every sensation, I absorb it all and let it course through my veins and find its place to rest.

When we finally move apart we stare at each other for a moment. I only see him, he only sees me. We are silent. Could he feel it too?

CHAPTER 69

To maintain an appropriate environment for Olivia, Michael sleeps in the guest room on Saturday night. I wake up on Sunday morning to find Olivia turned half way around, her legs sprawled over my abdomen. The house is quiet. I look at the bedside clock, which reads “
7:00.”
I let out a big sigh and prepare myself for what lies ahead.

He leaves today. My heart feels like it could split in two as I accept this reality. He is only steps away in the next room and by tomorrow he will be more than five thousand miles, nine hours and an ocean away. I start to shake a bit with anxiety. I wish this body wasn’t confining me here.

I quietly get out of the bed and slip out of the room, closing the door behind me. I carefully open the door into Michael’s room. Rather than sleeping, he is sitting up in bed, writing something. He notices the door opening and quickly looks up.

He smiles and sets aside the paper and pen.
“Hey,” he whispers.

“Hi,” I say as I slump into the bed beside him. I fold myself into his arms and bury my head into his chest. I just want to stay here. I want to keep his scent and his warmth with me always. I wish I could bottle it.

He lightly rubs my back while he returns the embrace. “So, today is the day,” he whispers. I nod. “I’m sorry,” he says sensing my sadness.

After a while, we hear Olivia stir, so I quickly go back to the room we’re sharing before she realizes where I am. Michael leaves his room to shower in the hall bathroom. Olivia greets me with big “good morning” hug when I snuggle back in bed with her. She is my constant. She is the one thing that always kept me grounded when I was single, between the time I divorced Joe and when I met Michael. We had our own life together. She was my little trooper. I could take her anywhere, around anyone. She was always well behaved.

I never let anyone I dated meet her. I recall that the only reason I let Michael meet her before we started dating is because I never had an initial romantic interest in him. I wasn’t worried that he would enter her life and then leave, because I didn’t think we would ever be so involved. When we did decide to start a relationship, she already knew him as Mommy’s friend and liked him.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!” Olivia says, squeezing me hard. I am reminded of the holiday and take a mental note to call my mom and Mary later. She jumps off the bed and runs to her backpack. She unzips the front compartment and pulls out a flower made of craft paper.
“Here you go,” she says, proudly handing me the gift. I wrap my arms around her tiny body and squeeze her tight.

Later on, we all get ready and pack my car up with Michael and Bjorn’s luggage. We have three hours until they need to catch the shuttle to the airport, which is two hours away, so we decide to have lunch downtown with Stacy and Lewis.

We have a quick lunch at a pizza place and then get gelato. It’s a gorgeous warm day, so we decide to walk while we eat our dessert. Olivia is gleefully walking ahead of us with her treat in hand. Bjorn and Lewis are talking about motorcycles, but Michael and I are quiet as we walk down the riverfront walkway, side by side. Our hearts are heavy.

We make our way to the in-ground fountains, where children are playing in the water. “Can I go, Mommy?” Olivia asks.

“Sure, just take off your shoes first,” I say. I sit down on a large, warm rock bench to watch as she carefully approaches a fountain that is sprouting water three feet high. Michael sets his gelato cup down and sneaks up behind Olivia to scoop her up and run with her through the fountains. She is screaming with laughter as he ducks in and out of the fountain rows. They are both getting wet, but don’t seem to care. Stacy pulls her camera from her purse and starts taking video.

Flashes begin in my head that are quick and painful. This moment has happened before. In a minute, Olivia will run up to me. The flash stops and I breathe carefully to calm myself without drawing attention. As I collect myself, Olivia runs over and grabs my legs, making them wet. She is laughing. I knew that would happen.

Michael makes his way to me with a big smile on his face. His shirt is wet, along with his shoes. “You OK?” he asks, noticing my confused expression. I nod to assure him.

We sit out in the sun for a bit longer to allow Michael and Olivia time to get dry. After forty-five minutes, Bjorn sits up
from the bench he was lying on. “It’s time to head over,” he tells Michael. My heart stops for a second, then painfully aches. I am not ready for this.

I look at Lewis and Stacy, who are cuddling on a rock together. As they kiss and nuzzle and relish in their new found relationship, I sit here and die a little inside. The love of my life is about to leave me. This is horribly painful and the worst part is that I have to hide how much it hurts. No one but Astrid knows how deeply in love with Michael I am. No one else knows how certain I am that he is the person I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life.

As I grudgingly strap Olivia into her booster seat and get behind the wheel of my car, I try my best to remain calm and go through the motions of saying goodbye to Michael. As we drive through town to the shuttle stop I feel like
I’m part of a funeral procession. Everything seems to be moving slowly and it is eerily quiet. I want to stop time, I want to stop this moment and tell Michael everything. I want to prevent this from being the end….but I can’t.

Lewis and Stacy pull into the parking lot ahead of us and park. They get out casually, as if nothing is happening. Because to them, nothing is, other than saying bye to a couple of friends. And their stake in this is low.

Michael is as hesitant to move as I am. He is quiet and seems down. Bjorn quickly gets out of the car and goes to the trunk to get his bags. Olivia is now asleep in the backseat, so we are careful to not wake her when we close the car doors. I make sure the windows are all the way down so she gets air, while we stand outside of the car and wait.

Michael grabs his large suitcase and backpack from the trunk and exhales heavily as he closes it. I stand in silence, willing myself not to break down and cause a scene. Lewis and Stacy stand on the curb near the shuttle stop. They decide to say their goodbyes now because they have to get to his Lewis’s parents’ house for dinner soon. I am grateful they will not be here to witness my reaction to Michael’s departure. Within two minutes they are in their car and off, but not before Stacy gives me a wink and mouths to me to call her later. She can sense that I’m sad. But Bjorn is oblivious to what is taking place for Michael and me right now.

The situation is bittersweet...with emphasis on the “bitter”. He came, we met, we feel something and now he has to leave. This isn’t as simple as saying, “Hey, come back and live with me.” Michael is young and has to finish school. And there is the fact that we have technically only known each other for three months in this current time. He is not an impulsive person. He thinks things through and this would be out of his character to take a gamble and be irresponsible. Even if I told him what I know, he would have trouble accepting that as truth. He isn’t one to get caught up in grandeur, drama or unrealistic fantasy.

The shuttle bus pulls into the parking lot, disrupting my last quiet moments with him. I want to throw up and cry at the same time. This is all wrong. This is all wrong. Michael looks at me. His eyes are apologetic. He seems torn between what he
wants
to do and what he
has
to do.

I look back to check that Olivia is still safely sleeping. Bjorn walks over to me and gives me a big hug. “Thank you for everything Jennifer. I had such a good time, and if you ever come to Sweden, we shall have a beer!” he says, before stepping on the bus.

Michael steps towards me. He is pressing his lips together firmly. Tears are beginning to fill my eyes. Michael sees this, and pulls me close. “Don’t cry,” he whispers. I hold them back. Once I let them go, I know I won’t stop. “We will always be in touch,” he says. I nod, with my head buried in his shoulder.

The shuttle driver lets out a honk, indicating it’s time to go. I slowly pull away from Michael and look at him. “I’ll miss you,” I say.

He nods and leans in to kiss me on my forehead.
“Here,” he says, as he hands me a folded square of paper. “Wait until I’m gone to read it,” he says, straining to hold back tears.

“I will,” I comply sadly. He quickly leans in to hug me one more time and then rushes to get on the bus. I stand frozen in place, watching as he takes his seat. The shuttle pulls out of the parking lot and I follow it with my eyes as it moves down the road until I can no longer see it.

I hurry back to the car and quietly get in, so I won’t wake Olivia. My fingers scramble to unfold the paper. I’m in a rush to see what he wrote. I take a deep breath as I begin to read.

“Jen,

When you read this I will probably not be around anymore. We have talked a lot these last few weeks and I feel that we really did connect on a spiritual level. One higher than most people are fortunate enough to experience. If your eyes tear, wipe them away and smile. I will be thinking of you.

Good friends are hard to come by and soul mates are like finding a needle in a haystack. But I was lucky enough to find you. We were meant to meet, but I don’t yet know for what purpose. We will find out in time. Time always tells. And this won’t be the last time we meet.

Keep being the wonderful mother that you are. Olivia will see how lucky she is in time, maybe she already has.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart -- as a matter of fact, from the bottom of ME -- for being my friend. You have changed me into someone better, someone more human.
 Love, huh? Weird it is, yet we all want it. Thank you for your love. I love you back, madly. I’ve known you for three months and I leave you these pages of “I Love You”, my kindred spirit.

If you ever need
anything
at
any
time, I will be there for you. I will try my best to help you. We will always be in touch. Goodbye, my Jenni. Much love, many hugs, you are the best.

Your soul mate forever,

Michael”