Occult Suspense for Mothers Boxset: The Nostalgia Effect by EJ Valson and Mother's by Michelle Read (2 ebooks for one price) (46 page)

CHAPTER 79

The week passes by faster than I prefer. I had forgotten how taxing this particular show can be, with the eight-hour demonstrations, receptions, dinners and the big party we always throw on the last night. The party is fun, but requires us to work harder than usual, as this hotel isn’t able to provide the liquor, snacks or even the ice that we need. This means we have to do the shopping, setup, bartending, hosting and clean up. Something that I both love AND hate.

Tonight we get to dress up though, and I’m looking forward to it. The men are wearing dress slacks, shirts and ties, and Stacy and I have bought party dresses for the occasion. I am taken aback by Stacy as she exits the bathroom in her strapless retro style black shift dress and red pumps.

“Pearls or silver necklace,” she asks me.

I smile at her impeccable sense of class. “Pearls,” I say.

I slip on my black sling back, peep-toe heels with silver piping and quickly put on my black and white polka dot spaghetti strap dress. It hangs just right on my frame. The ruching in the front conceals any bit of tummy I might have, and the sweetheart neckline accentuates my cleavage appropriately. The thin layer of tulle over the dress adds dimension and character. It’s classy, fun and makes me feel feminine.

“I just love that dress on you!” Stacy exclaims. I can only hope to get the same reaction from Michael.

Before we leave
, I make a quick call to Joe to check in on Olivia, who should be getting ready to go to daycare. I listen to her tell me how much fun she is having with her dad, and how she made me a present. I fight back tears as I hear her sweet voice. It makes me long for her to stay that age, but at the same time I ache to hear Stella’s voice.

After hanging up, I do one more make-up and hair check, grab my clutch and put on a smile. As we make our way down the old hotel corridor, Stacy chatters on about Lewis and how much she misses him.

When we turn the corner, I almost smack directly into Michael -- who is equally startled. “Whoa! Sorry!” he says, while placing his hand on his chest. “Steve asked that I come and find you guys. The delivery truck just pulled up,” he explains.

“Oh, no problem. I’ll hurry down there,” Stacy says and heads off. This leaves Michael and me alone in the hall. He looks down and takes in what I am wearing.

“You look very nice,” he says, smiling. I know that he genuinely means it. Michael doesn’t try to flatter people. His compliments are sincere.

“So do you,” I reply. He offers me his arm to link with mine so he can escort me. I find this uncharacteristically charming, but I accept.

As we get closer, we part ways and get to work on the party. Stacy and I end up staffing the large tables that we have turned into a bar. Michael takes his place as the “networker” he naturally is and makes his way through the hundred or so people who have shown up for free booze. I get to see him occasionally when he stops by to get guests drinks and make sure I’m OK.

After a couple of hours, we open up the bar for self-serve and go out to join everyone else on the small, makeshift dance floor. Michael and I float around the room, making small talk with our guests. Occasionally we touch base and sneak around a corner to steal a kiss, and then return to our separate duties. It’s like a well-rehearsed dance, one that we still do in our future life when we are at parties or events. Will we ever do this dance again?

By midnight, most everyone but a few stragglers have left the party. We clean up as fast as possible and head back to our rooms. Stacy is exhausted and hurrying ahead to our room. Steve has already gone to bed and Michael and I slowly shuffle down the hall, drained from an unforgettable and wonderful week.

I have resigned to walking barefoot, as my feet can’t handle high heels after standing all day. Michael keeps his pace with mine. He walks so close to me we could trip over each other at any misstep.

“You tired?” he asks in a hushed tone. I am, but I don’t want that to stop me from spending the night with him. The last night with him.

“Not enough to sleep,” I answer flirtatiously. “I’ll be back soon,” I tell him as I leave him by his door. I follow Stacy, who has already flopped in her bed, still dressed, but barefoot.

“Goodnight,” she says, yawning. Moments later I hear her breathing deeply.

I grab my toothbrush, a change of clothes and my phone, then slip out of the room just as I have each night before. My heart is racing as I quietly make my way back to Michael’s room. I lightly tap on the door with my knuckle and seconds later it opens.

“Hi,” he says, then immediately proceeds to pull me in and kiss me before the door is even closed.

I take it all in and embrace the moment. I let go of my fears, reservations and everything that has ever stopped me from being in the moment with Michael in all the years we have been together. This could be it. This could be the last night that I
ever
get with him and I’m not going to waste it on fear or any other ridiculous thoughts that could take this moment away from me. Tonight I am jumping in and swimming in it.

C
HAPTER 80

I hear rain tapping on the window. It is early, but I can’t tell what time. I try to turn over, but I am tangled in the sheets and entangled with Michael’s body. I manage to sit up enough to see the clock on the bedside table. It’s only 6:30 a.m. We have three hours until we have to get up and get ready to leave.

I rest my head back on his chest and listen to his heart beating. I get lost in the rhythm of his deep, restful breathing. I wonder if he is dreaming, and if so, what he is dreaming about.

I couldn’t sleep as well as I had hoped. Even after a wonderful night at the party and spending the night with Michael,
I’m restless with worry. All I can do is stare above at the grayish-white ceiling and mentally search for answers on what to do next.

Images from the previous night flash through my head. The gentle way he held me. The way he took his time to kiss me softly. Nothing was rushed, but nothing was left unsaid between us physically.

Within twenty-four hours I will be back in the States. I will prepare to face what could be the end of my life, or a dim continuation of another. Fear consumes me while hope battles with it to lift me up, but I’m not sure which one will win.

I feel Michael’s hand brush the side of my face as he turns towards me.
“You’re awake early,” he whispers.

“Can’t sleep,” I respond, careful not to expose my anguish.

He pulls me into him and I fold instinctively.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, giving me a soft peck on the neck. I shrug. I can’t speak.

He reaches over my body and nudges me to indicate he wants me to turn over and face him. I know there are things that must be said. I know this is the last chance I may get to tell him everything I feel but I have to be cautious in my approach. I worry that I will scare him.

I look into his eyes.
My
husband’s
eyes. He looks at me as if I am new to him, but his are the eyes that I used to see every day. The same ones that lock with mine briefly when we kiss hello, goodbye or goodnight. And today may be the last time I ever look into them. I close my eyes and fight back the tears that are sure to come. I’m grateful for the lack of light in the room so he cannot see that I am emotional.

I place my hand on the side of his face. “I need you to listen, OK?” I whisper. He furrows his brow. He appears to be confused, but he remains still -- with his eyes locked on mine. I think back to the first time I met him in my
real
life. I recall how easy it was to be around him, even though I wasn’t interested in pursuing any type of relationship. Within the first few moments that we met, we were naturally comfortable with each other. I just didn’t want to give him a chance. I smile a bit when I think back to how my feelings changed so drastically.

“When you came into my life, you were everything I didn’t expect, and you became everything I ever wanted. You were every dream I ever had, every prayer answered. You saved me,” I say, pausing to fight back tears.

“Hey…” he interrupts.

“Wait...let me finish. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, or the next day or any day, for that matter. And this may not make sense to you, but I just need to say these things in case I don’t get a chance to later.”

He reluctantly nods in compliance and lets me continue. “I want you to know that there is no one else in this world that I will EVER feel for in the way I feel about you. I know this seems really sudden considering how long we have known each other, but you need to know this,” I explain.

He looks at me in silence. I can see his younger mind trying to process my words. It is a large proclamation on my part, and I imagine it frightens him in some way. But if I don’t make my way back and I drift away, he will at least know how I feel.

“In every part of my soul, I know that we are supposed to be together. I know that we were supposed to find each other, and I believe that I was put on this earth specifically for you…and you for me. We were born separated, by age, time and distance, but managed to find each other anyway. That is miraculous to me.” I swallow hard to choke back my tears.

My jaw aches with tension, but I force myself to continue.
“No matter what happens, no matter where we end up, I just want you to know, Michael, that I love you. And I can’t ever thank you enough for every gift you ever gave me by being a part of my life.”

I think of Stella in that moment. I think of how he has been a good step-father to Olivia. I remember all the sacrifices he made to be with me. The life he started with me, and how I selfishly took it for granted. I take a deep breath and exhale completely. There is nothing more to be said and I meant every bit of what I told him.

Michael remains quiet, but still facing me. I am beginning to feel self-conscious at his lack of response. I worry that he regrets the time he has spent with me. I am scared that he thinks I’m crazy or jumping in too soon. Instead he pulls me in close and hugs me tightly. I’m taken aback by his gesture, as I awkwardly hang on to him, almost suffocating in his hold.

“I have to tell you something,” he says, with his head buried in my neck. I pull away in hopes of him revealing his feelings for me. He is looking down, searching for the right words. He swallows hard and takes a breath. “I’m moving,” he states nervously.

“What?” I ask, confused and disappointed.

“I was offered a job. It’s in New Zealand, and I
start next month,” he answers.

My heart sinks, it breaks, it burns. I can feel blood rushing to my head and away from my body. If I weren’t already lying down, I would probably faint. He can tell I’m in shock.

“Jen, you have to understand, I didn’t think we would get so serious so fast. I didn’t think I would get a job offer, but I have a friend who just moved there and he helped me get the position,” he explains. “I would be stupid to pass it up.”

Though moving for a job isn’t the worst thing he could have told me, the fact that he has taken his life in a different direction from what he did in his life before makes me doubt that we would have ended up together at all. What changed?

I nod in agreement. He would be a fool to not take this opportunity. He just turned twenty-three years old. His whole life is ahead of him, and now I know it’s a life that most likely wouldn’t include me after all. Even though I’m a little heartbroken at the realization that our fate would have been different, I am even more certain that deciding to try and go back is absolutely crucial. “You would,” I say.

He takes my hand and I can see the pleading in his eyes. “Please don’t be upset with me. Please don’t stop speaking with me. I love you too, Jen. I still want you to be a part of my life,” he assures me, as he takes my hand.

His
life. He has no idea what his life actually was almost a year ago. There have been so many moments where the distance between Michael and me has been physically vast during our relationship. Yet now, in this moment, it is painfully obvious that even though we still managed to find each other again and proclaim that we have feelings for each other, we aren’t just hours and miles away from each other anymore. We are literally an entire realm away. That gap must be closed.

I place my hand on the side of his cheek and lean in to kiss him gently on his forehead. “I’m
always
going to be a part of your life.”