Oathbreaker (16 page)

“I’ve missed you every minute,” he turned his face up and stroked his hands through my hair, staring into my eyes as if he saw who I really was and it was a hell of a lot better than what I saw in the mirror every morning. “Why didn’t you stay with us?”

“
I don’t know,” I kissed his cheek, then slid back into my chair and contented myself with holding his hand.

“
You won’t leave again, will you?”

I inhaled sharply and exhaled a shuddering breath. “Things are a bit complicated and confusing right now,” I squeezed his hand. “But we'll figure something out.”

Vidar frowned and looked over my head at Odin. “Do something; don’t let her leave us again.”

“
Your mother has always made her own decisions,” Odin smiled at me with a mixture of regret and admiration. “I can only hope that she’ll change her mind this time around.”

“
No matter what happens between Odin and I,” I turned back to Vidar. “I’ll always love you and you can visit me whenever you wish.”

“
Then you’re not staying here,” Vidar frowned deeper. “I thought you’d moved into your old room, the one you shared with Father.”

I looked sharply at Odin and he sighed. “I thought you’d be more comfortable there.”

“That’s why all your books are there,” I took a fortifying breath. The knocks just kept coming. “Alright, you two need to give me a little more time to deal with this. Besides, we have other things we need to focus on tonight.” I reached for my wine and took the whole glass down in one swig.

Odin nodded and looked at Vidar with cold determination. “We’re going to find out who’s betrayed me.” He looked out over the gathered gods and then back at Vidar. “Thank you for coming.”

“You know that all you need do is ask,” Vidar nodded grimly to Odin, then scanned the crowd.

I ate in between bouts of hand holding and quick cheek kisses with Vidar, who lived up to his name and fell silent through most of it. He didn’t need to speak; his face, his body, and his eyes said it all. He was ecstatic to have his mother returned, and as confused as I was over Odin, there was no confusion concerning Vidar. I was rejoicing inside. I felt this shimmering happiness that seemed to produce an actual warmth. Like my engine had been missing a part and now that it was put back, everything functioned better.

When the meal was over, I let Vidar lead me around, reintroducing me to everyone as his mother. Odin hadn’t told the other gods of our previous association, so they were shocked enough to give me multiple opportunities to take pieces of lint from their clothing, or a strand of hair, little bits to form a connection. Hey, I learned a long time ago to never waste an opportunity.

I carried my purse with me, so I was able to slip the items secretly into their individual baggies. Then someone started playing music and the dancing began. Vidar took me out for the first dance and I studied his face throughout it as he did the same to mine. We needed to imprint each other all over again, him with an entirely new face for his mother, and I with the one I’d cherished but lost to another life.

It was a great relief to find something purely wonderful about this situation with Odin. There was no confusion over what to do about Vidar or worry about how he would affect my life. There were no negatives to having him back. He was something I could completely rejoice in and I did.

After awhile, Odin cut in and held me a little tighter than was necessary. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze. I was connected to him, not just through love but through a child, a living, breathing representation of our love. It changed so much and I wasn’t sure how to deal with those changes yet.

“You’ve made him so happy,” I finally looked up when Odin spoke to me. “He distanced himself from Valaskjάlf for years at a time because of the memories of you. I’m hoping he’ll stay longer now,” his eyes shifted to Vidar and then back. “You’ve given me back my son, Vervain. Thank you.”

“
I guess I could say the same thing to you,” I met his gaze and felt his yearning hit me like a shot of tequila... strong, fiery, and breathtaking. “Don’t, Odin. Don’t you dare use him to get to me.”

“
I wouldn’t,” he looked down at our joined hands. “I’ll try not to,” he sighed. “Honestly, I might do it unconsciously, just because I miss being a family.”

“
Well obviously I’ll be around a lot more than I expected,” I couldn’t help glancing at Vidar. “But I’m still Vervain, and I’m still in love with Trevor. I can’t let a past life change the future of this one.”

“
As long as we get to share in that future, I’ll be happy,” Odin escorted me off the floor as the dance ended but we were stopped before we could reach our seats.

“
Godhunter,” Bragi stood in our way. “Odin, I must apologize to you both. I didn’t know who you were. I shouldn’t have called you a whore, forgive me, please.”

“
Of course,” I held out a hand and he shook it with a raised brow.

“
Thank you,” he stepped aside and let us pass.

“
Do you think some of the others might return if they find out who I am?” I let him hold out the chair for me.

“
Maybe,” Odin shook his head, “but they’ve shown how shakable their loyalty is. I wouldn’t take them back.” He lowered his face to my ear. “I’ve got all on my list, how successful have you been?”

“
I’ve got them all as well.”

“
Then maybe we should retire?”

I nodded and turned to kiss Vidar good night.

“You’ll be here in the morning?” He asked me hesitantly.

“
Of course,” I squeezed his hand and he smiled brightly.

Odin helped me up and escorted me out of the hall and upstairs. He shut the bedroom door firmly behind him and I walked over to the bed to unstrap my weapons. When I was free of steel, I gathered my tools and went to an open patch of carpet to set up my altar. When I had everything just right, he came over and dropped the baggies in my lap.

“Thank you,” I smiled up at him from my seat on the floor. “I'm gonna begin now.”

I put his bags carefully with mine, next to the rest of the items I needed for the spell, and then got up to cast my circle. I called the quarters and drew the magical boundary with my athame as Odin watched carefully, taking a seat on the carpet, a safe distance away. When I was finished, the outline of the circle pulsing once before fading, I sat down in the center of it, before my little cauldron. I felt warm and safe as I always did inside a closed circle.

I pulled the first little bit from a baggie and sprinkled it with a mixture of lavender, calamus root, clary sage, and mugwort before throwing it into the cauldron. I lit the white candle on my left and then the black one on my right, feeling the magic rise around me in a tingling cloud. From the white candle of truth I lit a long stick.

“
Let the faithful burn true blue. Let the colors see right through. To the heart and to the mind. Show us what we seek to find.” I lit the mixture in the cauldron and the flame burned bright blue. “You were right,” I looked at Odin, “Idunn is loyal.”

“
She’d better be,” he smirked. “I was the one who rescued her from Thiassi after all.”

I repeated the process and the next three gods were loyal but when I came to the forth, it burned black. I looked up from the thick, oily smoke to find Odin staring at me intensely. Little shivers ran over my skin, the magic urging me on impatiently… more, let’s do more. I took a calming breath and controlled the power.

“Bragi,” I whispered. Odin cursed and stood up, to pace like a caged animal. “How can he be against you when his wife is loyal?”

“
Bragi is the poet,” Odin waved angrily. “The fact that he would scheme at all, is preposterous.”

“
Maybe he’s upset about the spear incident,” I smiled apologetically.

“
I’m not going to waste time pondering Bragi’s disloyalty,” Odin sat back down. “Please continue.”

I nodded and continued the slow process of going through each god. I found eight more that were disloyal, including a goddess named Vor, whose calling was to punish oath breakers. Like Odin couldn’t have seen that coming. When I was finished, I put out the candles, opened the circle, and put everything away while Odin watched quietly.

“So now what?” I tugged on his hand till he got up and followed me to the couch in front of the fire.

“
I kill them all?” He looked hopefully at me.

“
Yes, that would be one way to handle things,” I patted his arm. “Or we could try a less bloody approach.”

“
An eye for an eye,” he winked his one eye at me.

“
And a tooth for a tooth?” I grimaced. “Then the whole world would need a cane and dentures.

“
So I grab one of them and torture him till he tells me what they’re planning,” Odin stared hard into the fire.

“
Is that really necessary?” I racked my brain for a different solution.

“
I don’t know what else to do, Vervain,” he raked his hands through his hair, a gesture that was achingly familiar to me.

He looked so miserable, I couldn’t help myself. I put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him against my side to comfort him. I felt his arm slide around my waist and his face was warm against my shoulder. That warmth seeped through my skin and filled me, tugging at memories I wasn’t ready for.

Suddenly I was in his lap, my legs spread to either side of him. His face lifted higher with the movement and nestled into my neck. A moment of denial made my body rigid but when Odin breathed deep and sighed, it sent shivers over my skin and loosened my limbs. I felt his arms tighten around me and my body slid against his in a perfect fit.

I found myself stroking his hair gently, soothingly, and he sighed again before lifting his face slightly and bringing his lips to mine. It was barely a touch, a question more than a caress, but I started to tremble. The Love rose inside me, filling me with fluttering butterflies, and urging me forward against him. I heard Odin inhale sharply as the magic shot from me to him, a strangled moan rolling through him as he deepened the kiss.

The butterflies had caught fire, but instead of consuming them, the fire strengthened the seemingly delicate magic. They rushed through me with their fiery flapping, igniting every nerve in my body until Love was overwhelmed by Lust. It flared even brighter than the butterflies, a tide of fire, a wave of desire, rising to drown us both. I pulled back and tried to clear my head but images of making love to Odin kept flashing through my mind, weakening my already disintegrating will.

“
No!” I threw myself back, landing on the floor with a solid, bone-jarring, lust-killing thud.

“
Vervain,” Odin reached for me and I backed up further.

“
Go,” I held out a hand to ward him off. “Please go, Odin.”

He closed his eye and took a deep breath before he nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry, Vervain. Just please don’t leave before we talk about this.”

“Odin, get out now,” anger made my eyes burn. I knew this wasn't all his fault but I also knew I'd never be able to get myself under control with him in the same room.

Odin walked to the door without another word and I was rather proud of myself for being able to wait until he closed it before I burst into tears.

Chapter Fifteen

A knock interrupted my pity party and I wiped my eyes as I stared hard at the door. “Go away, Odin. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“
Vervain, it’s Balder,” his steady voice carried through the thick wood easily.

I swiped harder at my eyes and went to open the door. Balder was standing there holding two mugs.

“I saw my father downstairs and thought you might need a drink,” he smiled gently and held up the mugs, “hot mulled cider with a little splash of rum.”

“
Thanks,” I managed a smile of my own. “Come on in.”

I took the mug he held out to me and led the way to the couch in the sunken floor. I gestured for him to sit as well, then took a long drink of cider. It was warm, strong, and soothing. I felt better immediately.

“Father didn’t look too happy,” Balder grimaced. “Do you want to talk about it or pretend it didn’t happen?”

“
Let’s go for pretending,” I smiled brighter. “So where do you live? I’m assuming it’s not here.”

“
My Hall is called Breidablik,” he threw an arm casually over the back of the couch. “I live there with my wife Nanna and our son Forseti.”

“
You have a wife and son,” I took another comforting sip. I could feel the tension leaving my body. “I didn’t even consider that Odin could be a grandfather.”

Balder laughed and it sounded a little muted to me. I peered at him in confusion; my eyes were getting really heavy. It had been a long day, so it wasn’t surprising but I didn’t want to be rude and fall asleep on him. I struggled to keep my eyelids up.