Oathbreaker (19 page)

“
So now you have
two
sons,” Trevor took a deep breath.

“
And both of them will sleep in their own beds,” I winked at my wolf and he broke down and smiled at me.

“
Fine, as long as we're clear on who is and who isn't allowed in
your
bed,” he smirked.

“
Crystal. Now, can we get back to the subject at hand?” I looked over at Odin. “What are you going to do now that we know who’s leading all of them? How are you going to handle their disloyalty?”

“
I’m going to confront them about it,” Odin leaned back and closed his eye. “I’ll just tell them I know about their plotting and that their fearless leader has run away with his tail between his legs. They can either run off with him or they can stay on my side but not in my Hall. I won’t spend another night with traitors beneath my roof.”

“
I think that’s wise,” I settled back against Trevor. “I’m going to go home with Trevor and Kirill  tonight. Why don’t the three of you come by for dinner on Friday and we can talk about how we're going to handle us?”

Vidar looked glum but nodded. Vali just nodded. Odin however, perked up and smiled. “Is this okay with you, Trevor?”

“
I’m not pleased,” Trevor squeezed me closer, “but I understand. I’ll get over it.”

Then the room dimmed. I heard Trevor calling my name but just barely. Sounds were hollow in my ears, echoing. My knees hit the floor as if in slow motion and I had an overwhelming sense of sorrow. Something had been cut off from my soul, something important. I tried to breathe through the anxiety but my breaths were coming in rapid gasps.

“Al,” I breathed.

“
You'll what?” Trevor's face swam into view. “What is it, Minn Elska?”

“
I think she said Al,” Odin leaned in, “like someone's name.”

“
Al?” Trevor frowned. “Is that what you said?”

“
Al,” I nodded. “Alfred's dead.” Then I passed out.

Chapter Nineteen

Al could be a little brusque and was not one of my favorite people but he was mine. He was a part of me. I knew his scent like the smell of my own hair. I could find him in a crowded room with my eyes shut. I held the magic that made him Intare and he held a direct line to that magic. His death left a horrid wound where that connection had been and it was bleeding inside me, hemorrhaging pain. He was mine and I had lost him. He was mine and I failed him. Somehow, I'd failed him.

I sat quietly in Pride Palace, the home of the Intare, and listened as Darius gave a report on Al's death with a hollow voice. I kept thinking about Loki and his warning. Could I have prevented this? I should have done something, warned them, guarded them, told them not to leave the God Realm.

Did they all blame me? I would. I did. I looked around the room, expecting accusing glances and getting nothing but a commiserated pain. I should have known. They loved me blindly, like children loved, with the firm belief that the object of their devotion could do no wrong. It was a gift I treasured and yet they expected nothing from me in return, except for me to be their Tima. Their heart. I had failed that love. Dishonored the title they gave me.

It was my fault, whether they blamed me or not, that Al was lying dead under a clean white sheet on the table behind Darius. Covered up so I'd stop crying. For my comfort, they made the bloody mess of his remains into a body-shaped white lump. Something nebulous that I could pretend had never been a man. Had never been my lion. Another tear crept down my cheek.

Demeter had killed him. She tortured him; bled him, broke him, and then stole the last breath from his body, all because she hated me. She had tried to take Trevor from me for the same reason but I'd saved him. Fenrir had vowed to kill her. You couldn't attack the Wolf God's first son without consequences. He had set the wolves on her trail but no trace of her had been found. She had disappeared until now.

And this time, I hadn't been there to play savior.

“Tima, can you hear me?” Darius knelt before the chair I was seated in.

Darius. He had been there to guide me from the moment he pulled me kicking and screaming into his world. His lion teeth on my neck had, ironically, saved my life. He'd done it, hoping I would save them all in return. Hoping the Godhunter could kill their goddess and free them. I had, but in the process I became that which I had sought to destroy. I had become their goddess. I had become responsible for them. It had never been more clear than it was in that moment.

It had been overwhelming at first but Dare and Fallon had both helped me ease my way into leading the Intare. I freed them as much as I could and led them as best I could. We became a family and I loved them. They were all a part of me now and losing even just one of them, was killing me.

“
Yes,” I finally answered Dare. “I can hear you. I understand.”

“
What shall we do, Tima?” It was Lucian, another of my lions, looking lost and hurt. I hated seeing that look, hated even more, knowing that I'd help put it there.

“
We shall do what lions do best,” I swallowed back my tears. “We shall hunt.”

The men shot to their feet, shouting fierce approval. I knew it was what they needed to hear. I knew they needed their vengeance and my heart burned for it as well. Demeter had been a thorn in my side, long before I'd even met her. She'd raped and tortured Kirill for years, helping to drive him to the brink of insanity, before I came and pulled him away from the edge. She even repressed her own daughter for centuries until I encouraged Persephone to stand up for herself.

Persephone was my friend and she had been miserable. I counseled her to get out from under her mother's thumb and move in with Hades. She took my advice and became a happier, stronger woman. Demeter however, was not happy. She wanted Sephy to be an eternal innocent, a child forever ruled by her mother. I had helped to change all that and Demeter blamed me entirely for it. I had no idea her anger would ever go this far though.

Demeter had set out to destroy me, and had done a pretty good job of it so far. She had ended my friendship with Blue through her machinations, had brought the Intare into her war against me, and had me literally thrown to the lions. Then, when that plan had gone horribly wrong for her, she had tried to take my wolf from me and nearly succeeded. Now, this.

The woman needed to get a life. Too bad I was going to do everything within my power to accomplish the exact opposite.

“
The Froekn hunt Demeter to avenge her attack on their Prince,” I waved a hand back to Trevor, who was seated on my right. “They have cause to hate but now, our grievance is the greater and we shall have the kill.” The Intare cheered again but then Trevor stood and their voices quieted to a murmur.

“
Vervain,” he spoke steadily but with a cadence, like a heartbeat. “Rouva, consider our father.”

“
Fenrir will understand.”

“
No, he can't.” He met my gaze steadily when I turned angry eyes on him. “He almost lost a child. It's different to him.”

“
These men are my family as well,” I gestured to the silent Intare. “One of them lie dead on that table and I will have vengeance for him.”

“
It's not your fault,” he whispered.

“
They deserve this.”

“
It's not your fault, Vervain.”

“
I saved you. Fenrir will grant me this kill.”

“
It's not your fault.”

“
Yes, it is!” I roared, my lioness barely held in check, and the room took a collective breath. “I failed him. I saved them only to bring death right to their door. What kind of Tima am I?”

“
Stop it,” Trevor was holding me and the Intare had settled in around us, silent but supportive. “You are not responsible for Demeter's actions.”

“
I'm the one she wants to hurt but
he
suffered for it.
You
suffered for it. I have to end this.”

“
And the Froekn will help you,” his voice was soothing, as soothing as the hands of my lions, reaching out to comfort me. “We are all family,” his voice rose and I realized he was speaking to my lions as well. “Your Tima is my Rouva. We are connected and even though some are Pride and some are Pack, we are the same through her. Your pain is our pain and our vengeance shall be yours. We will hunt Demeter together and she will pay for the evil she has brought to those we love.”

A murmur of approval flowed around us and I looked up at Trevor with a new respect. I should have known he had it in him to lead. He was a Prince after all. I'd just never felt the weight of that charisma directed at me before. It was a little humbling.

“Together then,” I agreed, “but first, we bury our dead.”

Chapter Twenty

I turned in a slow circle and then fell back in my bed. It was going to take a few days to arrange the funeral, so all who wanted to could attend. I'd gone home with Trevor for the interim and it was so good to be home. For awhile there, it felt like I’d never see it again.

Home always feels that way after life-changing events for me. It’s like I can’t believe that my refuge has remained the same through it all. Change can be so disrupting sometimes, you feel like everything must be touched by it. Normal must be gone forever. Coming home to see that I still had my sanctuary, was soothing in a way nothing else could be.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, Minn Elska,” Trevor held out a hand to me.

“
I stink, huh?” I frowned down at my ruined pink dress. How long had I been wearing this thing?

“
You can’t possibly be comfortable,” he got that look he got when he was playing the doting mate.

I knew instinctively that he needed this, needed to take care of me. It’s a werewolf thing, providing for your mate and all that. So I smiled and let him pull me out of bed, even though I was so exhausted, I could’ve slept just as I was. He carried me to the bathroom and put me on the little padded chair for my vanity as he ran the bathwater.

My bathroom was done in old Hollywood glamor and I smiled back at the black and white photos of the old movie stars on the walls. Vivien Leigh looked a little displeased with my ragged state but good ol’ Bogie had a
who gives a shit
grin on.

The room matched the photos, all black and white. White walls, white tub and sink, but black accents as well as curtains and towels. The tiles were a mix of black and white but not in the expected checkerboard pattern. Instead, the black tiles formed geometric designs and the white served as a background. Painted above the vanity where I sat, was a quote from Mae West. “It’s better to be looked over, than overlooked.” She really did have the best lines.

Trevor came back over and stood me up, so he could remove my clothes. Then he lifted me into the tub and I sighed as the warm water closed over my aching body. My eyes fell shut as he gently washed my hair, the feeling of his thick fingers massaging my scalp almost putting me to sleep. I woke up quick though when he started to wash my body.

His touch was still gentle but a little too thorough to be relaxing. The filth and tension drifted away with his tender strokes. I wondered again how I’d ever live without Trevor and why I couldn’t just marry him.

“I wish you would stop scaring me like this,” he stood me up so he could rinse me off with clean water.

“
Me too,” I nodded sternly. “Maybe someone should send a memo to the bastards who keep interfering with the solemn vow I took, to not get killed.”

“
I’ll see what I can do,” Trevor’s voice was so serious, that I opened my sleepy eyes.

“
No,” I waved a tired finger at him. “You don’t need to go all manly on me now. I’d just be transferring fear for my life into fear for yours.”

“
Have you forgotten that if you die, I die too?” There was no regret in his eyes for choosing me over immortality and that always amazed me… and humbled me.

“
I never forget that,” I stood still as he toweled me dry and then he carried me back to bed. “Sometimes I wish you hadn’t bound yourself to me.”

“
What?” He looked at me like I’d just shot his dog. Do werewolves even have dogs? And if they do, do you think training is easier for them?

“
I don’t like thinking about you dying with me,” I snuggled under the covers and felt him crawl in beside me.

“
I don’t like to think about you dying, period,” he pulled me in close and nuzzled the special spot on my neck that always made me tremble. “I actually find comfort in the fact that I won’t have to go on living if you were to die. It almost makes me feel sorry for Odin. He had to face eternity without you.”