O' for the love of Shakespeare (17 page)

“Goodnight Jane.”

Closing the door behind me, I lean back against
it, my hand still holding the door handle.  Why did I do that?  I know I didn’t
like him to start with but things change, people change, feelings change.  The
passion that I felt downstairs, I have never felt even a fraction of that
before even with the oh-so-gorgeous Ryan.  Maybe I should go to his room?  But
I don’t know what room he is in and I definitely don’t want to walk in on
someone else.

“Jane.”  Ben whispers through the door.  Thank
goodness he hasn’t left.

“Yes.”  I giggle back not moving.

“I don’t want to say goodnight.”  I smile
shaking my head, no neither do I.  I open the door to let him in.  I bite my
lip watching him lock the door behind him, my body anticipating what will come
next.

“Kiss me Kate, I mean Jane.”  He says cheekily
to me.  We both smile not taking our eyes off each other. 

“I am no Shrew.”

“No you are not.”  His eyes darken and he walks
quickly towards me.  Kissing me and holding me in one powerful movement.  I
want this man more than I have ever wanted anyone else.  After, we lay in bed
talking for hours.  There are no pretences, no pretending to be someone else. 
I am just Jane, the girl who loves Shakespeare but who wants more.  It is not
until the early hours of the morning that we finally fall asleep together.

I cling to the edge of the boat, the waves smash
across us, mirroring the turbulent sky above.  The boat lurches from side to
side threatening to tip at any moment.  My fingers dig into the wood; I ache
from holding on so hard.  I cannot be thrown overboard.  If I go over I will
drown.  I must stay on the boat.  Then I feel it the sinking feeling in the pit
of my stomach.  I am falling.

My eyes flick open instantly.  I’m on the
floor.  Ouch that hurt.  Standing up gingerly I rub my behind as I stand.   Ben
is sprawled out on my tiny single bed.  I smile staring down at him fast
asleep.  The covers have fallen to his waist.  His chest is covered in just the
right amount of hair.  His chest rises in slow steady breaths.  I lick my lips,
he is beautiful and he is in my bed.    

One eye flicks open for the briefest of seconds
and then closes again.

“Are you just standing ogling me?  I’m not just
a piece of meat you know?”  His smile makes little creases around his still
closed eyes.

“I might be, just a little bit.  But no you are
not a piece of meat at all, it was your friendly, warm nature that got me in to
bed.”  I smile thinking at how just a few days ago I thought he was a complete
arse.  He lifts up his hand and lacing his fingers through mine.  He shocks me
by pulling me down quickly so that I fall on top of him.  This sudden movement
results in me making a large squealing noise, sending Ben into a fit of
giggles.  He wraps his arms around me pulling me so that I am laying
comfortably on top of him.  He reaches up tucking one side of my hair behind my
ear.

“You look even more beautiful this morning.” 
He says with such sincerity that I just stare in owe at him.  “Jane last night
was...”  His gaze searches my face.

“Yes it was.”  I beam back at him.

“Any idea what the time is?”  I lean across to
the window sill to retrieve my phone.

“It’s seven thirty.”

“Shit, I’m going to be late.”  Ben slides out
from underneath me and proceeds to run around the room getting dressed in
haste.  I wrap the covers around me and sit up in bed to enjoy the show.

Once dressed he walks back over to the bed.  “I’m
just going to have a quick shower then I’ll head down for a quick bite to eat
before I have to head off to the University.  Will you have breakfast with me?”

“Yes.”  I smile up at him, he runs his thumb
across my bottom lip before bending down to kiss me.   Once Ben has left I sit
staring at the door that he just walked through feeling confused.  That was so
- unexpected.

Act IV Scene IV

‘Good
night, good night! Parting is such
sweet
sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
’ 
Romeo and Juliet

After a quick shower I dress in a loose t-shirt
and skinny jeans ready for my journey home.   I go in search of Ben who I find
sitting at the kitchen table with Angela eating toast.

“Good morning did you have a good night’s sleep?” 
Angela smirks at me.  I look pointedly at Ben.  He slowly shakes his head to
say he hasn’t said anything.

“Yes very good thanks Angela, you?”  I walk
round the table to sit down next to Ben.  As soon as I sit down Ben reaches
under the table to give my leg a gentle squeeze.  Nervously I give him a small
smile.  No one should have breakfast with a man’s mum that they have just spent
the night with.  It is far too strange.  I mean what do you say, ‘yes your son
gave me a thoroughly good seeing to last night so I had a great sleep’. 
Probably not.

“Yep.”  Thank goodness she doesn’t seem to want
to ask me anymore questions.  “You happy to sit out here with me this morning? 
Helen and Chris have already had their breakfast.  I think they are up packing
at the moment.  Ben is just having toast this morning but I can make you
anything you fancy?”  She stands ready at the fridge, waiting for my order.

“Just toast and orange juice would be good
actually please.  Thank you.”

“Of course.”  While Angela scuttles about the
kitchen, Ben reaches for my hand and tucks it under the table so that his mum
cannot see.  There is something so comforting about having your hand held.

“What time are you heading off Jane?”  Ben says
glancing over at his mum.

“Lunchtime but I’ve still got some packing to
do and I would like to take one last walk, so I won’t be hanging around for too
much longer.”  I say to both Ben and Angela.

“I really wish you didn’t have to go.”  Angela
says as she pops down toast in front of me.  “Butter and jams are on the table
help yourself.”

“Thank you Angela.”

“Oh Mum I nearly forgot do you have a pen and
piece of paper?  I promised Jane I would give her my contact details.  There
are some courses coming up at the University that I think she might be
interested in.”  He strokes his thumb across my knuckles.  I’m glad he has not
said anything to Angela I’m really not ready to talk about whatever Ben and I
are at the moment.

“There is a notepad and pen in the draw over
there.”  Angela points with her elbow while she fills up the kettle at the
sink.  “Tea anyone?”

“No I better be off or I’ll be late, thanks Mum.” 
Ben gives my hand one last brush with his thumb and stands up walking over to
the draw to get the notepad.

“I will have a cup thanks Angela.”  Ben stands
for a few moments at the kitchen worktop scribbling on a page.  He looks every
part the University lecturer this morning in navy blue chinos, brown shoes and
a pale blue shirt open at the collar.  Idly I think he must keep clothes here. 
Perhaps I have been wrong maybe he does stay with his mum fairly often to look
after her, maybe of a weekend when he is not at work.  Watching him I think of
last night, my hands clenched in his hair while he made love to me.  He smiles
as he turns and catches me staring at him.  I quickly look down not wanting him
to accuse me of ogling him again in front of his mum. 

“Right I’m off, I’ll give you a call in a
couple of days Mum.”  He walks over and gives Angela a kiss on the cheek.  She
puts her hand up and strokes his cheek.  Ben seems a little taken aback by the
affectionate moment.

“Have a good day at work son.  Oh Jane I almost
forgot I’ve left something up in my room, you stay put and I’ll be back in a
moment.”  Angela hurries from the kitchen leaving Ben and I alone.

“I think mum thinks she is a matchmaker
extraordinaire but I am glad she made her excuses so that I could say goodbye
to you properly.”  Ben walks over and pulls me from my chair.  He cradles my
face in both of his hands and kisses me tenderly.  “Safe journey Jane, the most
interesting woman I have ever met.”

“Bye.”  He drops the folded piece of paper next
to my plate on the table and leaves. 

Exit Ben.

The sadness of leaving sits heavily inside
me.   I drop back in to my chair with a thud staring at the small piece of
paper in front of me.

Angela re-emerges and I have a strong feeling
she has been standing just outside of the kitchen door to let Ben and I say our
goodbyes.  She gets to two cups and brings them over to the table to sit with
me.  I’m going to miss sitting in here with Angela.

“You going to open that?”  Angela looks at the
note on the table that Ben left.

Carefully I open the page scribbled in very
poor handwriting is, “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And
therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”  Followed by Ben’s mobile number.  I
fold it back over and slide it in to my jeans pocket.  Now that it is time to
go, I really don’t think I can.  It is hard to say goodbye but more than that
it means that I have to go back and start to actually take stock of my life. 
It is going to be a Herculean job to accomplish. 

As if reading my thoughts Angela turns and
says, “I’m really going to miss having the three of you here, you’ve all been
such lovely company for me this past week.”

“I’m going to miss you and this place too.  If
it’s alright with you, I would love to keep in touch.  I can’t wait to see where
you go from here.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Ben seems
to be slowly coming to terms with it too, he asked this morning if he could
help at all with the estate agents and such.  That is all because of you
Jane.” 

“It is what is right, that is all.  I’m
pleased, really pleased for you.”  I reach over to touch her arm.  “Do you know
what time Helen and Chris are going?” 

 “Soon, I think.  They’ve got their car here so
they’re driving straight home.  Do you need a taxi to the train station?”  I
look out of Angela’s little kitchen window.  It is grey but dry out.

“No I really want to walk thanks though; I want
to make the most of my last couple of hours.  Although time is quickly escaping
from me so I should probably go up and pack.” 

“You’ve barely touched your cup of tea, take it
up with you to drink while you pack.  Leave the empty cup in your room I’ll
clear it away when I go up to clean the rooms later.”

“Will do, thanks.”

It is amazing how I have become so used to my
little room at The Verona Bed, Breakfast and Balcony.   My sanctuary and for
all sense and purposes my home.  The noise, the people, the laughter, the
arguments, it has been more of a home than I have known for a very long time.   Maybe
forever. 

Not to mention the fact that this room has also
seen a whole lot more action than my flat has in a very long time.  Two men in
five days.  Who would have thought, nerdy Jane Thomas seducing two men on her
vacation away from life? 

I have not felt lonely for one moment that I
have been here and I am so heartbroken to go home.  I had thought it would be
Stratford-upon-Avon that I would fall in love with but in fact it turned out to
be the tired Verona Bed, Breakfast and Balcony that made me see what a home and
a life really should be.

This holiday has allowed me to make some pretty
big realisations and decisions about my life.  Firstly, I will find a new job,
something I actually want to do.  Not something that makes me want to drop my
computer screen on my head every day.  I will try new things, even if that
means doing things alone.  After all, coming here by myself has actually been
pretty amazing.  Lastly, I will not fill every waking moment with Shakespeare. 
To always know the divide between my world and that of the characters from
Shakespeare’s plays.

That shouldn’t be so hard.  Yes, I am confident
that I can make some real improvements in my life.  I will be the heroine, the
lead, the story of my own life.  One thing I do know after this holiday; my
life will never be the same again.  I have fundamentally, irrevocably changed.

I jump up from the bed that I have been
sprawled out on.  I scoop up all my clothes and toiletries and throw them in to
my little wheelie case.  When I’m satisfied that I have everything I walk to
the door.

“Bye room, it’s been the best.”

Reaching the bottom of the stairs I hear the
hum of the vacuum cleaner coming from the living room.  Leaving my bag at the
front door I go into the living room where Angela in engrossed in the job at
hand.

“Angela.”  I call loudly so that she can hear. 
She looks up and instantly switches off the vacuum. 

“All ready?”

“Yes I think so.”

“Jane I can’t tell you how much of a pleasure
it has been to meet you, the change that it has meant for me.”  She wraps me in
a big hug.  “You are a very special young woman and I wish you so much luck for
your future.”

“Hey you’re not going to get rid of me now. 
You’ve got my number I want to hear everything and if there is anything and I
mean anything I can do to help I will be back in a nanosecond.”

“Well I better think of something so you can
come back quickly.”

My phone bleeps.  “I wonder who that can be.” 
Vic will be at work by now so she wouldn’t be texting me. 

The message is from Malcolm, “Safe journeys
beautiful.” 

Angela looks at me expectantly.  “It’s Malcolm
just wishing me a safe journey home.”

“Oh?”  She looks at me confused.

“Take care of you and don’t let that son of
yours bully you into anything you don’t want.”  I can’t think of what else to
say to her about Malcolm or Ben.  How can I put something into words that I
still do not understand yet?

“Oh I’m not worried about Ben; I think he has
something else to occupy his thoughts now.”  She smiles kindly at me.

“We’re off now too.”  Helen appears at the
doorway.  “Thanks for everything Angela we have had a wonderful time here.”

“You’re more than welcome, do keep in touch,
you’ve got my number.”

“We will.”  Angela gives Helen a quick hug and
whispers something in Helen’s ear.  “Yes.”  Helen grins back. 

“Safe journey you two, come back and see me
soon.”  Angela says loudly so that Chris can hear also.

“Bye Jane, find happy days yeah?”  Helen’s
words almost make me cry.  I walk over and give her hand a squeeze.

“Take care, hopefully our paths cross again
soon.”

“I’m sure they will.  Can we give you a lift to
the station?”

“No I’m fine thanks, I’m looking forward to a
walk.” 

Chris calls Helen from the front door followed
by a shout of farewell to us.  “Bye Chris.”  Angela and I call in unison.

 “Well I should be off too.”  Angela gives me
one last hug and I am off out on the street for one last walk through the
beautiful town that brought me here.  A place that I will keep in my pocket
always.

Exit Chris, Helen and Angela McCree.

I stop for a few moments outside Shakespeare’s
birthplace saying goodbye one last time to the man who brought me here.  “Parting
is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be tomorrow.”  Sadly
and slowly I walk the rest of the way to the train station.

Once sat on the train with my bag stowed above
me, I remember I should have got a coffee from in town.  I get my phone out
from my bag and drop it on to the table in front of me.  No messages or missed
calls.  Maybe I should just text Malcolm back.  I type “Thanks just on the
train now. J.”  I type and delete a kiss four times not sure how affectionate I
should be in a message especially as I spent last night with another man and we
have agreed to just be friends.  I decide against the kiss.  Send.

I get an immediate response.  “Great thanks,
I’m coming to London this weekend for an audition.  Can we meet up?  I need to
see you x.”

Crikey I hadn’t expected him to want to see me
so soon.  I need to reiterate to him that I just want to be friends, how best do
I do that without hurting him?  I do want to see him again so maybe I should
see him and then we can talk properly.  It’s the “I need to see” part of the
message that makes my stomach knot.

“OK let me know when you are free, see you in a
few days.”  I text back.

“Will do, I’ll send you a message on Saturday
but should be free lunch time-ish?  Covent Garden?”

“Great see you then.”

“Can’t wait x.”

Trying not to think about the awkward
conversation that is still to come again with Malcolm, I dig out the piece of
paper from Ben.  I smile again looking at his note. 

“Hi it’s Jane, thanks for the note.  Just to
confirm one last time I was not perving I had literally just fallen out of the
bed.  Your very large ego was taking up too much room.  On the train now, hope
you are having a good day x.”  I text.