Nothing Left to Lose (74 page)

Once I’d
changed, I stopped short with my hand on the door handle. Ashton
was probably waiting in bed for me. Tonight was going to be hard
because we had to get back some semblance of normal. But, however
hard it would be, it needed to be done. I needed to at least try
and limit the damage he would do to my heart when he left.

After taking a
couple of deep breaths, I tugged the door open and forced a smile.
I was right. He was sitting up in the bed, his chest bare.
Oh
God, please let him be wearing shorts or I’m done for!

He watched me
as I walked over to the bed. “Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” I
replied as I climbed in next to him. When he didn’t make any moves
to come to me, I scooted closer to him. His arm immediately lifted
and pushed under my neck, hugging me to him tightly. I sighed
contentedly as I snuggled against him, loving how our bodies fitted
together as if they were designed that way. Ashton kissed the top
of my head softly, sending a wave of desire through me that made my
whole body ache. Over the last two weeks, we had barely made it a
few hours without making love; the physical contact was going to be
a hard habit to break. I bit my lip and closed my eyes tightly,
praying for sleep to take me quickly because the desire for him was
almost too much to bear.

Within a week
of being home, the attention surrounding us started to die down.
The press had finally realised that we weren’t married or expecting
a baby, so they started to lose interest a little. Well, only a
little, because we were still plastered all over the papers and
magazines. The girlie magazines in particular liked to feature
Ashton, he’d clearly woven his spell over them too because he’d
actually been voted torso of the week in one magazine. He actually
seemed pretty proud of himself when he saw that.

School was
awkward again for a couple of days, but even people there were
getting used to who we were again.

Today though,
we had something different to worry about, other than just what
magazines we would be featured in. Today was the day that Ashton
was going with his friends to use his driving day experience. That
was if I could calm him down from his latest panic attack about
leaving me in someone else’s care.

“You sure you
can’t come with me?” he asked, shooting me the begging eyes that
usually made me melt inside.

I forced a
smile. We’d been going over and over this all week long and he
still didn’t like the idea of it. “I don’t want to go. Besides,
you’ll have a better time without me being there. You’ll be able to
relax with your friends and not have to work all the time. I’ve got
Cohen here now, and Dean’s moving into the other bedroom,” I
assured him.

He groaned and
set his head on my shoulder. “I hate this,” he mumbled.

I giggled at
his overprotectiveness. “Look, just chill out. Nothing’s gonna
happen. You go have fun with your friends and enjoy your Christmas
present, okay? If you need to, then you can call me,” I suggested,
wrapping my arm around his shoulder and stroking the back of his
hair.

He looked up
and his pained eyes met mine. “But what about the lawyer guy? You
sure you can’t reschedule him coming over so I could be here for
that?”

I sighed. The
prosecution lawyer for Carter’s case had called and was in town
this weekend. He wanted to talk to me and go over a few things in
case I was actually called up to give evidence at Carter’s retrial.
This was the only weekend that he had free to see me before then,
and Ashton knew that too.

“I told you,
this is the only time he has before the trial. I can’t reschedule.”
I frowned, actually wanting to give in and just go with Ashton or
let him stay here with me like he was trying so hard to convince me
on. I didn’t want to see the lawyer guy again on my own. A deep
frown lined Ashton’s forehead and I reached out, smoothing it away
with my thumb. “Careful, wrinkles,” I joked. “Just go, I’ll be
fine.”

“You’ll call me
and let me know what he says?”

I nodded in
agreement. “Promise.”

His heavy sigh
blew across my cheek. I could see his internal struggle brewing in
his eyes. “Be safe this weekend. If you go anywhere, then stay with
Dean. No doing anything stupid like going off without a guard,
okay?”

Without
answering, I cupped his face in my hands, leant in, and kissed him.
The heat of his lips felt like he’d set me on fire. I’d avoided
kissing him whenever possible this week because it just reminded me
how good it would be with him. He kissed me back, moaning in the
back of his throat as the kiss deepened. My hands tangled in the
back of his hair, pulling him closer to me and showing him how much
I was going to miss him as our tongues tangled together.

He pulled away
after a couple of minutes and set his forehead against mine as his
ragged breath blew across my lips. My whole body was throbbing with
need. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Anna. Please be safe and do
everything that your guards tell you. If you need me to come back,
call me, and I’ll be on the next plane,” he promised.

“Stop
worrying!” I laughed, brushing my nose against his softly. “You try
and enjoy yourself, alright?”

He nodded
wearily. “I will. I guess I’d better go. Try not to dream,
okay?”

“I won’t
dream.” I smiled reassuringly. “It’s just two nights, and then
you’ll be back.” As a key twisted in the front door, Ashton groaned
and my arms moved from his neck, dropping down into my lap. His
eyes didn’t leave me once as Dean strutted into the lounge. “Dean,
tell Ashton that you’re perfectly capable of looking after me while
he’s away having fun for the weekend,” I instructed.

Dean grinned.
“Yep, perfectly capable. The new guy is here now so we’re all set
up and ready. You should go; you’ll miss your plane.”

Ashton’s eyes
finally left me as he nodded and pushed himself up to his feet.
“I’ll see you in a couple of days then. I’ll call you in the
morning,” he promised, bending and planting a soft lingering kiss
on my forehead before righting himself and turning to Dean. “Can I
have a word with you outside?” he asked, nodding at the front
door.

I watched as he
left, sending me a little defeated wave at the door. My heart
ached. I was going to miss him so terribly much, but I was happy
that he was going to have fun for the weekend. He deserved to.

To pass the
time, I picked up my sketchpad and drew a few scenes from our
vacation. Lately I’d been drawing our trip a lot, probably because
it was on my mind a lot. I missed the freedom that the place
afforded me, I missed the closeness of Ashton and our togetherness,
and I certainly missed his body. It felt like an age since we’d
been back but, in reality, it was only a week.

My routine for
this weekend without him was slightly different. Dean was moving
into the other bedroom to replace Ashton, and my father had sent
over another far guard, Cohen, to replace Dean as daytime guard.
Dean seemed slightly nervous about acting as near guard for the
duration of Ashton’s trip, but he was the only one that I trusted
to do it and be that close to me.

After I’d made
dinner for us both, I went for a long soak in the tub. My day
dragged but, to be honest, I didn’t want the evening to come too
quickly anyway. I wasn’t looking forward to a night without Ashton
again.

The water was
cold by the time I was out of the bath. I dried my body and hair
slowly, taking as much time as possible so that I could avoid going
to bed.

Finally, at
half past eleven, I could avoid it no longer. I called goodnight to
Dean and crawled into the bed, lying on Ashton’s side. The pillow
still held his scent, and a little feeling of contentment washed
over me. My eyes flicked to the bedside unit and the photo of me
and Ashton on our trip that one of the staff had taken. His
handsome smiling face stared back at me, and I sighed, silently
hoping he was having a nice time. He’d be there and settled in to
his hotel room by now. I tried desperately not to think of him
sleeping with other girls this weekend, even though I knew it was
pointless to hope he wouldn’t, after all, he wasn’t mine and he was
a player, so of course he would be with other girls. I closed my
eyes, thinking of lazing on a hammock in the shade of a palm tree
and hoping that the nice memory would ward off the bad dreams that
were bound to plague me tonight.

I sit as still
as I can. His anger is easy to see. “For fuck’s sake, Mark, go
fucking take care of it for me! Make him realise he can’t rip me
off and get away with it,” Carter spits.

Mark smiles,
sending chills down my spine. He is evil incarnate, and revels in
doing his job. He is Carter’s second in charge and delights in
torturing people and inflicting pain. “Absolutely, how about I
bring you his head?” he offers.

Carter laughs
and shakes his head. “Nah, too messy,” he jokes. I heave but due to
not having eaten for a day and a half, I have nothing to bring up.
When Mark leaves the room, Carter turns to me, smiling his loving
smile. “Sorry about that, Princess. My business talk’s all done
now. Where were we?” he asks, taking my hand and pulling me from
the edge of the bed so I have to stand. His hands slide down my
body, catching the bottom of his T-shirt I am wearing. I don’t
resist as he lifts it over my head so I am naked. I don’t resist
anymore, I am all out of fight. “Right about here, I think,” he
coos, grinning and looking at my body lustfully. His hands run over
my bruised body, and I whimper when his fingers touch a bruise I
have on my stomach. “Get down on your knees, Princess,” he
whispers, unzipping his pants as a predatory smile creeps onto his
face.

I sat up and
screamed as the horror washed over me again. Reality tugged at my
brain as it slowly registered that I was in my own room, that it
was just a dream and that it was over. I put my head between my
knees and tried to calm myself, wincing as the memory of it carried
on playing in my head. I gripped my hands in my hair, biting my lip
as I tried desperately to think of something else.

Loud knocking
on my bedroom door made my breathing falter. “You okay, Annabelle?”
Dean called.

I sucked in a
ragged breath, knowing he would be worried if I didn’t calm down.
“Yeah, I’m okay, sorry,” I called breathlessly. A quick glance at
the clock showed me that it was past two in the morning.

“Is there
anything I can do?”

I closed my
eyes and wiped my sweaty brow. There was nothing anyone could do
apart from the love of my life, and he was miles away. “No thanks.
I’m sorry I woke you. Goodnight, Dean,” I called, ending the
conversation.

I fell back
against the pillows and fumbled blindly on the bedside unit before
finding the little switch I was after and flicking on the lamp. My
gaze found the picture of Ashton again, and I stared at it until my
heart started to slow to a normal pace. A little blue flashing
light on my cell phone caught my attention and a little spark of
hope started inside me as I reached for it. As I flicked the screen
and unlocked it, I saw a message sitting on there from Ashton, sent
earlier on in the evening around about the time I was in the bath.
A smile crept onto my face as I opened it.

‘
Hey, Baby Girl, we’re still on the plane. You’re probably
going to bed soon, I just wanted to say goodnight and I miss you.
Call you tomorrow, sleep tight x’

I grinned
happily and put my phone back on the side. Just that small text
from Ashton was enough to make me smile, even after the nightmare
memory I’d just had. I closed my eyes again, leaving the light on
as I drifted off to sleep, hoping he was enjoying his weekend off
with his friends.

“
Princess,
I’ve got something for you,” Carter says, smiling
excitedly.

Forcing a
smile, I look up at him. “What is it, baby?” I ask sweetly, trying
to stay in his good books.

He turns and
opens the door; immediately, Mark walks in and throws someone at my
feet. I squint down at the broken person. I can’t tell who it is;
his face is all smashed and bruised. His body is twisted
unnaturally as he struggles to move from the heap he’s been thrown
into on the floor. Blood is everywhere, dripping from his clothes,
and covering his skin. Nausea hits me in waves and sympathy for the
man makes my knees weak. My heart feels like it is breaking for him
because of how much pain he is probably in. The man is someone’s
son, maybe someone’s husband or father, yet he is lying here in
front of me, completely and utterly helpless. Because he is here,
in Carter’s house, I already know they will kill him. Carter
doesn’t bring people back here unless it is the end for them. But
why would he say it was a surprise for me?

“
You don’t
recognise him, Princess?” Carter asks.

I look down
again and squint, trying to make out the face behind the layer of
blood. The guy is mumbling something incoherent; to me, it is more
like a long groan of agony. I shake my head in response to Carter’s
question, but I can’t take my eyes off the broken guy on the
floor.

Carter laughs
and bends down, grabbing hold of the guy’s hair and turning his
face to mine more. A scream of pain fills the air as the guys eyes
open.

His green eyes
lock onto mine, and I literally feel my heart break as my world
shatters around me. “Run, Anna. Go, now!” Ashton orders, his voice
thick with pain.

Carter laughs
wickedly and pulls out a gun, pointing it directly at Ashton’s
face. “She’s not going anywhere. She’s mine, she stays with me. And
you need to pay for touching my wife,” he growls as he pulls the
trigger. I watch in horror as Ashton’s handsome face that I know so
well, just folds in and disappears. He slumps back to the floor
with a sickening thud. I drop to my knees, screaming his name as I
cradle his broken body in my lap, but I can do nothing but watch as
the love of my life bleeds out onto the floor. In the background,
Carter and Mark laugh and laugh and laugh.