Notes from the Life of a Total Genius (16 page)

BOOK: Notes from the Life of a Total Genius
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I see this having a number of problems. First, it’s being cancelled because the administration feels that the audience can’t handle what we’ve written about. But the audience will be our families and friends and other kids in our school. These are all people we see on a daily basis. They know us. And I bet they are smart too. I bet they understand that even though the actor may pretend to shoplift something, they aren’t actually shoplifting. I bet they understand that just because someone gets shot onstage, they aren’t actually dead. I’m certain that they know that the guns aren’t real, but are props. I think we need to give our audience some credit.

Secondly, why can’t we do whatever we want? Shouldn’t we be able to write about difficult subjects? We’re taught to think about issues and debate them in class, but suddenly when we put them onstage, it’s not appropriate? That’s just plain weird. I don’t think that there should be rules that tell us what we can and cannot say in our plays. It’s a question of freedom of speech. Aren’t we allowed it?

So instead of banning us from doing our plays, I think we should just put a warning on the program that “Some material may be shocking to some viewers.” But hey, that’s …

Just One Guy’s Opinion.

Hey, Artie,

Can you stop by my classroom later today? I want to chat with you about your most recent article.

Cheers!
Mr. E.

March 20th

Dear RJ,

We have an ally! Mr. Everett met with me today and said that he agreed with my article, and that we might need to make a few adjustments, but that we can print it in the
Marathon
. He said that I expressed my opinion fairly and politely, but that we’ll look at making sure that there’s nothing that can be read “with attitude.” (Ha! Like I have attitude! I prefer to call it “personality.”) We’re going to publish it in tomorrow’s paper, so that when we get back from spring break, Kraleigh will have had ten days to change her mind. I knew there were teachers on our side! I bet we could even get some more teachers to support us if we needed to. There’s no way Ms Whitehead would be pro-censorship of my work; she’s a fan of my work. And Mr. E. seems pretty popular; I bet he could get the teachers to go on strike for us if they had to! I think that having Hark and Mr. E. on our side, we can show Kraleigh who’s really in charge!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: March 21, 16:50

Hi Arthur!

Wow! Your article this week is pretty heavy! I had no idea that this was going on! I feel bad! I’ve been really busy with grad stuff and all kinds of other stupid things! (Catie and I got into a HUGE fight last week, but things are better now LOL!) ANYWAY, I’m totally behind you on this! Good luck! (Wait, isn’t it bad luck to wish someone good luck in the theatre LOL?!)

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: March 21, 18:37

Dear Kennedy,

Thanks! Your support means a lot to me. We’ve been fighting this for a long time, but I’ve got a good team behind me. I’m positive that I can make Kraleigh change her mind. If you want to help us, you could join the Leg Breakers! If you joined us, we would be even stronger!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: March 21, 19:56

Hi Arthur!

I’m so, SO busy that I can’t join you guys. But I’m sure it’ll be great, no matter what!

Kennedy :)

i have arrived

You’re in Calgary?

here for 4 days

Great! I’m leaving on Thursday for Edmonton to hang out with Luke.

im free everyday, xcept that i have to call hayley @ 6

At 6 today? Didn’t you just leave Lethbridge?

no 6 everyday. we agreed

What if you’re busy?

no u dont get it. i HAVE to call at 6. its a thing we do

You call her every day at 6? That’s weird, man.

ur weird

So … should I come over now?

sure

From: Von Ipo ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: March 24, 20:41

Hey, Arthur!

Ben’s having a party on Friday night and he asked me if I could help him spread the word. He knows that I’m basically friends with everyone, I guess! Anyway, you should come. I know Kennedy and Catie are definitely going. Piper is going to come, and Lucia and Mai and Latha too. I invited Mackenzie and her older sister, and Lili and Yoshie. I think some guys are coming too.

My mom could pick you up if you want to go together!

See you Friday!

Von

i think im gonna stay and go 2 bens party fri

What? Why? You hate most of the people going.

ya but i like ben and von will b there. and i can avoid everyone i dont like

I can’t go, though. I’m going to see Luke, and I already have my bus ticket.

What about Hayley? I thought you were going back to see her.

she will still be there on sat. its not like were married

Don’t go to the party. Come to Edmonton with me! Luke won’t mind.

i dont know luke. why would i do that?

To hang out with me? Because I’m awesome?

haha. u wish

I bet the party will suck anyway.

well ill let u know!

March 26th

Dear RJ,

This sucks. I’ve never not wanted to go hang out with Luke before! I always want to hang out with Luke. But now there’s this party in town, and Robbie’s even going, and I don’t want to miss it. I feel like I will be a super nerd if I miss it, and people will think that I didn’t get invited, but really, I just can’t go. I asked my dad if I could go to Edmonton on Saturday instead of tomorrow, but he said that Auntie Deborah has something planned for us on Friday, and that you don’t just change plans on someone because you got a better offer. I can’t even pretend that I’m sick now, because my dad will know that I’m just trying to get out of going. I want to call and ask Luke if he’d be mad if I didn’t come, but I don’t want him to feel like I don’t want to hang out.

It figures. I’m finally invited to a party, and I can’t even go.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Von Ipo ([email protected])

Sent: March 26, 11:21

Dear Von,

Thanks for letting me know about Ben’s party. I wish I could go, but I’m going out of town this weekend. I’ll probably go to some pretty big parties in Edmonton, but I feel bad that I can’t go to Ben’s. I hope that not everybody at school is away this weekend. That would suck if no one can go, but then maybe he would do it on another day.

Arthur Bean

From: Von Ipo ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: March 26, 13:40

Dude, it’s too bad that you can’t come. Basically everybody is coming! I think you’re like the only lucky guy who’s going away for spring break this year. Also made sure that Millie is coming. I’m going to make my move!! She told Ben she’s bringing a friend too. So if Millie isn’t into me, maybe her friend will be!

Have a good time in Edmonton. Let’s hang when you’re back!

Von

How was the party? Did I miss anything?

u missed alot of ppl making out

Like who?

how do i know? i dont live here

Did you stay long?

long enough

Did you see Kennedy there?

ya she was there, but was busy

Busy? Like making out with someone busy? With who?

dude i ignorred her

Did Von hit on Millie?

i dont know millie. maybe?

Millie has bright red hair. She would have been there with another girl with super-long hair named Joie. Were they there?

the girls hair is named joie??

You know what I mean!

i dont know. u allways correct my grammar. u should be more careful in planning your texts.

Were Millie and Joie there?

dude I DONT KNOW

Are you leaving today?

im already on the bus. should i wave as i leave the city?

Don’t bother.

dont cry, artie. im back at easter

APRIL

April 1st

Dear RJ,

Kraleigh was so mad about my article that she actually came to our Leg Breakers meeting. She said that she had made a decision about our plays, and that we should be mature enough to understand that the school administration makes decisions based on protecting children. She talked to us like we were five years old. So I told her straight up that we disagreed with her decision, and everyone cheered for me. It felt amazing. Now I know what it will feel like when I win an Oscar. It was like being on top of the world when I stood up to her.

I only felt bad after, when Hark looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear. I guess he’s kind of stuck in the middle. I know he wants to help us out, but he can’t because the principal is his boss. I wonder if there’s a way to make him feel better and still do our plays.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Assignment:
Macbeth
scenes

Now that we’ve finished reading
Macbeth
, it’s time to bring it to life! Choose a group of one to four students, and create a commercial for something inspired by our reading of
Macbeth
. It could be something that a character could use (maybe a spot remover for Lady Macbeth), or a service that could be provided (maybe a dream analyzer!). We’ll be acting out these commercials for the class, or if you prefer, you can sign out one of the AV Club cameras and film your ad to show in class.

As part of the assignment, provide the written direction of your commercial.

Due: April 23

From: Von Ipo ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 4, 15:06

Hey, Arthur!

I was talking to some of the other Leg Breakers, and we thought maybe we could hang out this weekend. Maybe tomorrow? We can do it here at my house. My basement is basically the same size as the Drama room it’s so big, so we can push the couches aside and rehearse a few of the plays if we want to, or we can just hang out. My parents don’t mind. After, we could watch a movie too. We’ve got a huge TV. It’s basically the same as going to the movies!

Let me know. I can get the gang together!

Cheers!

Von

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Von Ipo ([email protected])

Sent: April 4, 18:22

Dear Von,

I could probably make that work. I’m pretty busy, but I might be able to fit that in as well.

Arthur Bean

From: Von Ipo ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 4, 18:45

Hey, Arthur!

Great! Everyone else said they could come already. This is going to be awesome! I think we should rehearse, don’t you? I bet Kraleigh thinks that she can say she’ll reinstate our plays later and that we won’t do them because we won’t be ready to perform. Did you know that she’s pulled me into her office three times because I was late for school? I told her once that it was the fault of the bed company for making it too cozy, but she didn’t think that was funny at all. After that, I told her that I’m up late studying because I have to work really hard to be good at stuff. It’s a total lie, but at least it got me out of trouble. Ha!

See you tomorrow!

Von

April 7th

Dear RJ,

This weekend was pretty epic. A bunch of the Leg Breakers hung at Von’s house, and it was great, other than Von being there. His house is really big. Bigger than Kennedy’s, even. He’s got a ton of stuff too, but of course, he had to show off all of it. It was really annoying, because he has to tell you how much everything costs and how important it is, blah, blah, blah. It took us forever to get started with rehearsing too, because he was showing off all this stuff he has.

Then on Sunday, I practised fencing with Millie and Joie. Millie said that she would help me with my
Macbeth
commercial too, and we could put in a fencing scene, and do the big battle between Macbeth and Macduff at the end. Since Macduff kills Macbeth, I wrote in a joke about it too. Joie’s going to film it for us. We’re going to make it so realistic since we’ll have a real fencing match. It’s going to be a commercial for Kevlar, which is bulletproof and swordproof material. It’s going to be really funny. Robbie will be here to help too, so it’s going to be epic!

I finally felt like I had a bunch of friends this weekend. I think this must be how Kennedy feels all the time, being so popular and having a bunch of friends to hang out with.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

April 10th

Dear RJ,

We had a Leg Breakers meeting today, and we told Hark that we would definitely not do Kraleigh’s puberty musical. I did most of the talking again. I really think the other Leg Breakers see me as kind of their leader, which is amazing. I told him that we respected him as a teacher, but that we felt strongly that our plays should be put on, and that we were going to perform our plays, despite what Kraleigh wanted.

There were a few arguments in the group, and some of the students really didn’t want to do their plays since they were banned. Now we aren’t going to do their plays, and we’ll only put on the ones that people want to do. We made sure that everyone got a chance to decide, and so far we’re going to do six of the plays, and three people are still deciding.

Some of the kids said that they didn’t want to do the plays because they didn’t want to get in trouble. I tried to explain to them that if we were all involved, then there was less chance that they would get in trouble, and that we should stick together and be strong defenders of freedom of speech.

Hark said that he understood how we felt, but that he wouldn’t be involved in any programming, and said that we were embarking on our own.

After the meeting, a bunch of us stayed and talked about how we should get more support by showing the other students scenes from our plays when they aren’t expecting it. Maybe if they see how tame the scenes are, they will join our cause.

It’s so exciting! I’ve never been such a rebel before!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Hey, Artie,

Come by my class after school today so that we can chat about your next article for the Marathon. I heard through the staff grapevine that you may be planning something rather controversial. I’d like us to cover our bases BEFORE you start writing.

Cheers!
Mr. E.

Dear Mr. Everett,

I’m really sorry. I won’t be able to make it!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

JOGO: The Show Must Go On!

By Arthur Bean

There was recently some drama in the Drama room that you may have heard about. The administration of our fine school decided that the plays written and directed by the grade nine Leg Breakers playwriting group were inappropriate for public viewing. Some of the Leg Breakers strongly disagree with the administration, so we have decided to continue with the play festival.

We know that the administration thinks differently than we do, but we don’t want to be quiet. Some of our plays may be rated M for Mature if they were movies, but they aren’t movies. They’re plays. It says right in the name that they are meant for entertainment. We’re just playing.

You’ll get a chance to decide for yourself if you want to join the Leg Breakers and our defence of free speech. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be eating lunch one day and happen upon a scene or two of us rehearsing out on the field. Or maybe we’ll be a dramatic flash mob during your Gym class. Anything can happen!

My mom always said, “playing is some of the best learning,” so please consider joining us, the Leg Breakers Rebel Forces. Grade sevens and grade eights will also be considered as new recruits. If you aren’t ready to be part of the solution, show your support in June by coming to our play festival. Plus, I bet you’ll laugh. Our plays are really great. But hey, that’s …

Just One Guy’s Opinion.

Mr. Bean,

See me in my office immediately.

R. Kraleigh

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