Not Looking for Love: A Cowboy Romance (22 page)

“No! Don’t put that in your mouth, Emily,” Kara said to her niece who was sitting on the rug playing with a plastic ring stacking toy.

Her little body jumped as she quickly removed the green ring from her mouth and looked up to her Aunt Kara, crying.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Kara rose up from the desk chair as Emily got up and ran right into her arms. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She kissed her head as she held her close, and her cries became little whimpers. “Come on. Let’s go get you a teething ring.” She held her in her arms as she went into the kitchen and pulled out a ring from the freezer. Once Emily took it from her she stuck it in her mouth, leaned against Kara’s chest, and stopped crying altogether.

Navigating her way back to her desk where her laptop sat proved difficult due to lots of toys strewn all over the place. Just as she sat, the back door opened and Kara heard movement in the kitchen. Emily’s little radar went off. She picked her head up and started calling for her mommy.

“Oh, there’s my little princess,” Lauren said as she came into view. She had to navigate the same obstacle course Kara did a few moments ago, but she moved like a pro.

“Momma! Momma!” Emily kept repeating, with her arms outstretched. The teething ring fell out of her hands, and Kara wasn’t quick enough to save it from falling to the rug. Emily didn’t even seem to notice, her eyes only for her mommy.

Lauren took her from Kara. “How was she?” she asked.

“My niece is the most wonderful niece in the world. She didn’t bother me at all, content to play with all those toys.” She swept a hand out at all the toys on the rug.

“Mmm, I see. Tornado Em strikes again.” They both giggled.

“Where’s Max?” Kara asked referring to her nephew.

“He’s at his friend’s house, down the block.”

“Did his team win?”

“Yeah, Max hit a ball. You should have seen the smile on his face. It probably would have been a single, but he hesitated too long, proud of himself for connecting with the ball.” They both laughed. “I’m gonna put her down for a rest. Be right back.”

While Lauren was out of the room, Kara put the finishing touches on an invoice for a book cover she had finished and hit send. At the same time an email came in. Looking at the recipient, she was reluctant to open it. It was from his business account. She’d been ignoring Richie’s calls and texts since she got back from Dallas four days ago. It killed her, but she was standing firm on this.

On the plane ride home from her meeting at the Warren headquarters she had made up her mind. Withdraw. Sure it would have been good for the exposure, Richie had mentioned the interior designers for their hotels always wound up in the most prestigious magazines the world over. And as great as that sounded, she couldn’t help think that the title would read something like ‘The porn actress turned interior designer’ or ‘Which porn star landed a gig remodeling the Warren hotel because she was fucking one of its heirs? Okay, that one would probably be worded a bit differently, but it would still mean the same thing. She didn’t in any way want to shame Richie and his family with her scandalous past. She had waited a day and then texted what she hoped was a polite withdrawal to Ted.

She went ahead and opened the e-mail.

Dear Katherine Storm,

It is with regret I inform you that you are no longer in consideration for the interior designer job for the Warren Hotels. Though Ted Warren and everyone in the boardroom at the time of your presentation was wowed by your designs, they all agreed to honor your withdrawal request.

Sincerely,

Richard Warren III

Kara read over the note. It sounded so formal and it bothered her. She noticed he had forwarded a copy to everyone who was in the boardroom that day and reasoned that was why. Another email came in and it was from Richie too, only it was from his personal email account. She opened it.

Kara,

What’s going on here? Help me understand this, because for the life of me I don’t. Why are you ignoring my attempts to get in touch with you? Why did you pull your designs out of the project? Is it because of the other night at the hotel?

I get that you don’t want to talk to me.  No, wait. I don’t get it, but if you ever decide you want to let me know, then please call me.

Damn it, Kara, everything I write sounds wrong. I don’t know what is going on. Please call me.

Love you,

Richie

‘Love you, Richie’. It felt weird reading those last few words. He had never told her that. He would say things like ‘that’s what I love about you’ but that wasn’t the same thing, was it? She quickly shifted through a few other emails that he had sent her in the past and none of them ended that way. It was always, ‘talk to you later’ or ‘see you soon’. One was even signed ‘I can’t wait to see you’. But ‘love you’? Seemed too little too late.

“GQ?” Lauren was by the doorway and Kara didn’t even notice.

She looked to her. “Yeah.” She swung her chair around to face Lauren. “He sent me a formal letter accepting my withdrawal… Then he sent me a personal one asking what’s going on.”

“Why don’t you just tell him? He already knows your history. So what his cousin knows. Big deal.”

“Yeah, big deal… I don’t know what can of worms he’ll open up. Richie doesn’t need that. His family doesn’t need that.” As an afterthought she added. “I’ve seen pictures of him with women all over the world. Drop dead gorgeous women who don’t have checkered pasts. It’s only a matter of time before he’d dump me anyway. A clean break would be better for him…for me.”

“Only a matter of time?” Lauren said. “You’ve been with him for close to four years now. Why is it a matter of time all of a sudden?”

Kara sighed and shrugged. She rose up gathering her laptop. “I’m going downstairs. I have some studying to do. Catch-ya later.” Without waiting for her sister-in-law to reply she walked down the stairs to her apartment.

“…I don’t know. She ran out when I asked her her name,” Logan said to Richie as they sat at a table in Satan’s Skull, each eating a burger and drinking a beer, the only food or drink the place offered. The Allman Brothers “Whipping Post’ was playing on the juke box as Logan was telling Richie about a girl he had been seeing around town lately, a very pretty dark-haired beauty, and he was intrigued.

“Did she buy anything at Geli’s? Have her look up her name.” Richie took a bite of his burger. Juice dripped down his chin and he scooped up his already shredded napkin to wipe his face again. “Gees, when the fuck is Jay gonna get some decent napkins around here?” He flung the napkin down on the table and took a swig of his beer.

“Hah! You sneaky son-of-a-bitch,” Logan said with his hand in the air. He looked around to get the waitress’s attention. “I already tried that. She paid cash.” He put his hand down when the waitress came over. “Selma, can you get this guy a pack of napkins, sweetheart?” Logan knew it wasn’t the napkins that bothered his buddy. It was the beautiful blonde ex porn star that got him all ‘effed up. All he could do was listen. He himself swore off blondes for good, but his friend had it bad for this chick.

Selma shook her head laughing. “Richie, Richie, Richie. What are we going to do with you?” Her deep raspy voice could have been sexy except Richie knew she smoked almost three packs a day.

“Well, maybe if he didn’t order his burger raw, it wouldn’t be so messy,” Logan said.

“It’s not raw. It’s rare. I like it rare. All the juices dripping down. Mmmm-mmmm-mmm.” Richie took another bite.

“Be right back with the napkins,” Selma said as she laughed and backed away.

“She’s looking this way,” Logan said before he took a bite of his burger.

Richie dropped his burger. “Oh, no. really?” He didn’t even have to know it was Big Betty that Logan was talking about.

Big Betty was a big girl, a big biker chick, and she loved Richie. She pulled up a chair, spun it around, and straddled it as she dropped her plate on the table right next to Richie, uninvited.

“Boys.” She dipped her head. “I’m looking to sell my Sportster but I’m undecided on a Wide Glide or a Street Bob. I can get the Street Bob at a really good price, but it has over a hundred thousand miles on it,” Betty said after she shoveled a quarter of her burger in her mouth.

Richie cringed as burger meat flew out of her mouth and landed on his face. “Whoa.” He picked up his shredded napkin and wiped his cheek then shot a look over to Logan.

Logan grinned as he chewed a bite of his burger. “Well, it depends on what you’re looking for, I guess. They’re both good bikes. I like the Wide Glide though. Bigger engine. Faster too. What do you think, Rich?” He took a sip of his beer with a smirk on his face.

“I don’t know. Whatever you want,” Richie said as he slightly moved his chair away from Betty.

“I don’t know what I want. That’s why I asked you.” Betty winked and smiled at Richie. She took another bite of her burger. “I was thinking the Street Bob because the price is right.” She spit a chunk of burger and bun on him when she coughed.

Richie was so turned off, he threw his burger down and got up. Grabbing a handful of napkins from Selma who was heading his way with them, he grumbled about how this place was going downhill and he walked out.

Logan shrugged and finished eating with Betty, and the two of them talked motorcycles the whole time. Despite her looks, she was really a very nice person, smart and sharp. After finishing his burger, he bid her good night and paid his tab at the bar. He walked out and found Richie outside, sitting on the concrete strip of walkway with his feet in the dirt parking lot and cracked up laughing. “You were rude to Betty,” he said as he straddled his Harley.

“Was I?” Richie straddled his new Ducati and reached for his helmet. How he let Logan talk him into wearing one was beyond him.

“Yeah. You want to head over to the Salty Dog? See if Carmen’s around and up for a little action?”

“Nah,” Richie blew out a breath and looked around. He couldn’t see anything, it was dark out and the only light came from the red sign that read ‘Satan’s Skull’. He never saw the ghost of an Indian chief who always appeared to be searching for something outside the joint that others had claimed they’d seen. He wasn’t looking for him or anything anyway, just frustrated. He raked a hand through his hair before putting on his helmet. “I’ll catch you tomorrow.” He started up his bike and took off, zipping down the winding road.

“Hello?” Kara said into the phone a bit groggy as she looked at the alarm clock next to her bed. 1:45 am.

“Hi.”

“Richie!” She sat up, fully awake now.

“I’m sorry to call so late… I just… I just…” He let out a long audible sigh. “I needed to hear your voice.” And after a long bout of silence he asked. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah. I’m still here.”

“What’s going on here, Kara?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t give me that shit. You know damn well what I mean. My uncle was about to award you a lucrative contract to design one of our most prestigious properties.

“I know. I’ve never designed on that big a scale before and I got scared.” Kara stood up and began to pace.

“I told you, I’d work with you. There was nothing to worry about.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Kara?”

Kara let out a breath. “Look, Richie, uh. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

There was a long pause before he said, “Why? Is this about my cousin and what went on in the hotel room that night?”

She hesitated. “No, no. It’s just…uh…I met a guy.”

“Oh, wow… Okay… Well I appreciate your honesty.” This news hit him like a ton of bricks. He didn’t see it coming at all. He thought they were progressing along. He had come to care for her. He had come to love her. Now he was glad he didn’t tell her. “You could have told me in person instead of over the phone. I deserve at least that much.”

“I’m sorry, Richie,” was all she could say because he was right. This was cowardly, but she would have never been able to go through with it if she did. One look at him and she wouldn’t be able to end it.

“And this couldn’t have just happened. You could have mentioned it before the meeting with my family.”

“I’m sorry.”

After a long pause he said, “Well then, Kara, I wish you well. Uh, if you want to call me, feel free. I’ll be here.”

“Okay, Richie. Um, before you go, I want to let you know I’ll be shipping the watch to you, so keep a look out. I’ll put enough insurance on it.”

“Keep it. I bought it for you.”

“Okay, thank you. Also, as soon as I can, I’ll pay you back the college tuition.”

“Kara, you don’t owe me anything. I meant what I said, no strings attached.”

“Thank you.”

“Be well, Kara.”

“You too, Richie. Bye.” She hung up just as the first tear fell down her face.