Nobody's Baby (19 page)

Chapter Twelve

T
hough she’d only enjoyed a few intermittent naps during the night, Kate was wide awake at dawn and staring at a vacant pillow. She heard the low murmur of his voice and occasional creak of the rocking chair from the next room as he spoke to A.J. It shocked her how left out that made her feel, how much she longed to join them in their morning ritual.

She closed her eyes and imagined herself in the rocker with them, the velvety feel of A.J.’s skin against hers. She could almost smell the sweetness and weight of him in her arms and Rio’s hair-roughened chest at her back. Fairy tales. This was real life.

Rio and A.J. had become a family without her. Though it hurt, she was glad for it. That was the way it should be.

Oh, after last night, she didn’t doubt that Rio would welcome her into the equation, even after she’d shot down his suggestion to stay. She’d seen it in his eyes, felt it when he joined their hands, locked his gaze with hers and pushed into her body time and time again. Remembering their lovemaking sent delicious shivers traversing her body.

Those memories would have to sustain her for a long time. She rose from the bed and crossed to the French doors that led to a small balcony. A slight ache between her legs was tangible proof of her inability to extract herself from Rio’s bed last night. She had to be stronger today.

Kate opened one of the doors inward and listened, straining for the sound of snow plows. The crack of ice on frail branches buffeted by wind, the slight intermittent whistle of sudden gusts through the trees, and occasional bird sounds were all that greeted her. Those plows had to reach here sometime today. They just had to. She didn’t know how much longer she could insulate her heart against Rio while being held in his tender embrace.

Though the snow had stopped coming down during the night, the breeze lifted the soft powder in dancing whirls like happy snow fairies. There were tiny ones on the balcony that tried to come inside, but fell apart on her toes as they met the warmer air. Shivering now, she eased the door closed and used the rumpled sheet off the bed to wrap around her body.

“Toga-style. I like it. Very sexy.”

Kate pivoted toward the sound.

Rio stood in the open doorway, holding the baby. A secret smile lurked about his generous mouth. “Good morning.”

She barely registered the warm light in his eyes before her chest contracted. Her gaze riveted on the bundle in his arms, the bundle from which a tiny hand rose and waved about with a happy noise that was part gurgle, part goo. Rio stepped over the threshold and her heart rate rose. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Crap. The question came out much harsher than she’d intended.

Rio’s eyes narrowed, became more cautious. “Greeting you. I thought I heard you moving about. Didn’t want you to think I’d abandoned you.”

Not after they’d made love off and on all night. Her mind supplied the words his mouth didn’t. How considerate. But that was Rio. Kind. Generous. Reliable. An exciting lover. She’d once thought of him as lethal and that opinion hadn’t changed. He was lethal to her resolve. She had to regain some of her equilibrium after succumbing to temptation.

The gleam in his eyes even more guarded now, Rio took another step toward her.

God. She’d known there would be a price to pay for coming to his room but hadn’t expected it to be quite so acute. This was killing her, her body betraying her because even with A.J. in his arms, she craved Rio’s touch. “Five feet, Rio. That’s the rule. Don’t come any closer.”

His chin came up. His jaw tightened. His eyes went steely-hard. A staring match ensued. Finally, he spoke. “My mistake. I don’t know how I could have forgotten.”

Her conscience pinched, hard and swift at the element in his eyes she couldn’t or didn’t want to identify. But this wasn’t her fault. She’d been up front with him, hadn’t she? She’d warned him that their being together wouldn’t change anything. Even so, she couldn’t stand the strain she’d deliberately inserted between them and attempted a smile that fell flat. “No harm done. You just caught me off guard.” She offered the lame explanation for her former curt tone and tried to soften it even more. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

“Yeah.” The one-syllable response didn’t give anything away, but his face reflected disappointment as he left the room.

It pained her that she’d put it there.

Always before, the promise of her immediate future, her dream of college life and bright, shiny freedom had buoyed her. This morning, the gleam had diminished. More than anything, that terrified her. The snow plows better clear the nearby roads soon. She had to leave.

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Rio had observed Kate peering through the window off and on all day, worry between her brows. And she’d avoided his touch. Hell, she’d avoided him, period.

“It’s starting to get dark. They’ll probably reach us tomorrow,” Rio assured her, though he’d been wishing for the exact opposite all day. Secretly, he hoped the damn plows would fall apart and take weeks to repair before they reached their door. Futile waste of time. Even if such a bizarre thing happened, the trusty Colorado sunshine would melt the snow enough in a day or two for Kate to leave.

He crossed to stand behind her, ran his hands over her sweater-covered arms, cupped her elbows and drew her back against him. Sometime during the day, he’d let go of his anger and examined the hurtful morning scene with more objectivity. He’d seen animals react the same way when cornered and understood why she’d pushed him away. Self-preservation. After all they’d shared, Kate was running scared and that’s why she’d snapped at him. It still stung, but Rio set it aside.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and felt her stiffen. He’d expected worse. “We’ve got a bonus. Another night. Is that so bad?”

She turned in his arms, creating some distance between them. “I don’t think so. Last night was a one-shot deal. I believe I made that clear.”

“You did, but weather is an extenuating circumstance. What’s the harm in an encore?” He leaned in and kissed her. Nothing overtly sexual, just a soft press of their lips together with his hands on her shoulders. Maybe he lingered over it some to remind her of the tenderness they’d shared and kneaded her taut muscles in the process, but he didn’t push. Rio didn’t relish another slap to his bruised heart. At least Kate allowed the kiss, even if she didn’t participate.

Kate crossed her arms under her breasts and stepped back. “One night and you were bringing A.J. to me as if everything had changed. And that despite my making it clear that I intended to leave. I’m not sure I can trust you to keep things in perspective.”

He’d been testing the waters a bit but wasn’t about to admit that and risk her anger. “I entered a room with A.J. while you were in it, which I’ve done many times before. That’s not the same thing.”

While she mulled that over, he gathered her to him again, ignoring the wary look she gave him. “I know you struggle with your feelings for him. Whether or not you have a role in his life is your decision.”

“That wasn’t the arrangement.”

Rio bit back a nasty epithet. “The damn arrangement flew out the window when James and Allie plunged over that cliff. But that’s off-topic. This is about you ...” Rio pressed a quick kiss to her jaw.

“And me ...” He blew on her neck, grazed her earlobe with his teeth and had to suppress a grin at her indrawn breath.

“And one more night.” Using his teeth and tongue, Rio applied special attention to the tender skin at her nape and felt her relax against him. He was reasonably confident his plan was working, considering the after-sex tears and this morning’s quick leap into a snit. With a little luck she’d see things his way by morning. While he’d intended to wait until A.J. was down for a longer period of time, Rio found it difficult to keep his distance. No reason why they couldn’t have a prelude.

“No fair,” Kate protested, but turned her face into his and nuzzled closer.

He edged his mouth toward hers and cupped one breast as their lips touched again. She arched into his hand and gasped against his mouth. Lust shot through him like lightning. Rio deepened the kiss, taking her mouth hard, their tongues warring and tangling. If the arms locked tight around his neck were any indication, Kate was with him all the way.

Rio blazed with need. He grabbed her bottom in both hands and lifted.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung with a little whimper pushing from the back of her throat. Without breaking away from the kiss, he walked to the couch and eased her down, one hand on her rear to keep her from falling backwards. One knee on the couch and one foot on the floor. Not an ideal place to finish what they’d started. There just wasn’t enough room, but the likelihood of making it up the stairs without Kate rethinking her actions was slim.

He needed a solution and fast.

Kate reached between them and opened one button on his shirt, then another. Rio broke away and scooped her up as he had many times before. This time she was lighter and certainly less bulky so getting to her doorway was a breeze. Halfway to her bed, a tiny cry stopped him cold.
No, no, no. Not now, A.J. Not now
.

“Did you hear that?” Kate asked in a loud whisper.

Rio stifled a groan. “He’s only been asleep a half hour. He’ll drift off again.”

The cry sounded again, louder now.

“I don’t think so, Rio. Put me down.”

He could tell from her tone the mood was blown, so he did as requested but turned her to him and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry. Let me give him his nighttime bottle and get him down again, then we’ll have about six hours straight.”

Kate pressed both palms to her cheeks and heaved a sigh, then laced her fingers behind her neck. She shook her head. “I should’ve never allowed this in the first place. What’s the point? It’ll only make things harder in the long run.”

Her head snapped up before Rio could respond, her gaze accusing. “Or was that the point all along?”

Annoyed with the slow response to his summons, A.J. began crying in earnest.

“I won’t deny that I want you to stay, but that’s not ...” Another cry with an added tremor made Rio backtrack through the doorway. “Look, we’ll discuss this later. Just ... don’t jump to conclusions, okay?”

Her attempt at a smile had sad edges. “It doesn’t matter. This was a mistake. He needs you more than I do right now. Just go.”

Cursing the timing with vicious thoughts, Rio had no choice in the matter.

Kate moved to the doorway and watched him take the steps in pairs, getting a bittersweet thrill out of watching the play of muscles in his backside, despite the heaviness in her chest.
Goodbye, Rio.

At the top of the stairs, he glanced back and came to an immediate stop as if he’d felt the finality of her unspoken words. He frowned, bounced a fist on the railing several times, then pushed off and disappeared in the direction of A.J.’s makeshift nursery.

Her emotions were a jumble of wanting to rush to A.J.’s aid and wishing she could indulge in one more night with his hunky uncle. But the truth of the matter was, she couldn’t be trusted around Rio. The last few minutes had made that clear. One touch from him and she melted like ice cream under hot caramel. With a hollowness in her stomach, she moved inside the room, shut her door and turned the lock. Though she should be used to sleeping alone, the bed she faced looked bleak and lonely tonight.

Deciding an early bedtime wouldn’t kill her, Kate showered and packed the last of her things, leaving out her toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush and fresh clothes. She slipped between the covers and closed her eyes, only to open them again when A.J. began crying anew.

Every time she came close to drifting off, his cries cranked up as if he knew she was leaving and wanted a proper goodbye. It was a preposterous idea, but during one pillow-pounding moment of clarity, Kate knew what she had to do come morning.

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T
he morning sun was peeping through the curtains when Rio discovered he’d overslept. Considering how long he’d lain awake cursing Kate’s stubborn streak and the locked door when he’d returned, he wasn’t surprised. A.J.’s uncharacteristically rough night hadn’t helped either, but the little tyke was always awake by sunrise if not before.

Something was wrong.

Pulse jumping, he dragged jeans over his legs and barely got them zipped before opening his door. At the sight greeting him, Rio halted in mid-stride. Careful not to make any sound, he backtracked and pulled his door closed except for a thin sliver to see through.

Kate hovered over A.J.’s crib, speaking to the baby just above a whisper. Amazingly, the little guy seemed content to listen. The tiny fingers of one hand were clenched around Kate’s forefinger.

Rio exhaled and leaned his forehead on the doorjamb for a second. Thank God. She’d changed her mind. If she was touching A.J., she was going to stay. Rio slowed his breathing and strained to hear what she had to say to the baby after all this time.

“So you see, it’s not that I don’t want to hold you. I do. But I carried you around for over eight months. You were great cargo, kiddo. Don’t let anyone tell you different.” She paused, staring at A.J. with a soft, vulnerable expression.