No One's Hero (Chadwell Hearts) (21 page)

And right now, every inch of my skin is definitely alive.

Kevin’s fingertips softly trace the straps of my bra, then slip lower to caress the swell of my breast. My eyes close and my head sinks back as I sigh with pleasure. His weight eases on my legs, and then I feel his lips on my ears. “If you want me to stop at any time, all you have to do is say so.”

I manage a tiny nod. I most definitely do not want him to stop. But I’m feeling less sure of myself, and a bit self-conscious being half naked before him, so I’m happy to let him take the lead.

His lips press tiny kisses along the curve of my jaw, and my back arches. Who knew something so simple would feel so good? I love the way his bare chest brushes against mine. His skin against my skin creates a heat like no other, and I am desperate for more of it. I wedge my hands between my waist and his, fumbling with the snap of my riding pants.

Kevin is having none of it. His hand closes around my wrist like a vise, then he tugs, pulling my arm upward until my wrist is pinned above my head. Oh my. I moan again.

Kevin lets out a throaty chuckle, and there’s a smile unlike any I’ve seen before from him splayed across his face. “Patience, Alexis. It takes at least twenty minutes to properly undress a woman. You and me, we’re just getting started. This—what we’re doing—may be wrong, but we’re going to at least do it right.” My insides turn into melted butter as I swoon at his words, even while I want to claw at the rest of our clothes. The thought of what he’s about to do to me is sweet, agonizing torture. And I want it. Now.

“Please,” I beg shamelessly, grinding my hips up in search of his. I don’t care about having the perfect first time. Perfect is a myth. I just...I just need to feel okay. Safe.

Kevin’s breath hisses through his teeth. “You have no idea what the sound of you begging does to me.”

But I do, because I can feel him rock hard and ready through our pants.

Kevin is almost always so sure of himself and in control, and it seems that this is no different. While I’m coming apart at the seams, his every touch is perfectly calibrated to send another wave of pleasure cruising through me. He trails his kisses down my throat, then between my breasts. No matter how I writhe and beg, he continues his perfectly controlled exploration of every curve on my body. His light kisses leave no skin untouched, caressing every inch. When I don’t think I can take another solitary moment of tenderness he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, squeezing it lightly between his teeth while his hand cups me.

I cry out, losing myself in the feel of it. My nerves are forgotten, and I’m in the palm of his very capable hands.

“God, you’re ready for me, aren’t you sweet girl?” Kevin dips one finger beneath my waistband and I hear the snap of my breeches coming undone.

“So ready,” I murmur. I can’t remember ever being this wet before in my life.

My zipper is next, and just the sound of it, knowing I’m one step closer to being naked with him intensifies the ache that’s settled between my legs. Kevin’s mouth finds mine again as he gently slips one hand beneath the waistband of my underwear. Then his finger brushes across the bead of my clit and I swear I fall apart. I’m so far lost, I don’t ever want to be found. I just want him.

I open my eyes, and our gazes find each other. His face is only inches from mine and his eyes are hooded. “Tell me again, Lexi. Tell me you’re sure. We’re doing this for all the wrong reasons, but if you truly want this...”

My heart swells, and the overwhelming tenderness I feel for this man stills my frantic need, just briefly. My mouth is suddenly dry and I lick my lips, chasing away nerves. “Kevin, I love you.”

He drops his forehead to mine and lets out a long breath.

I free my wrists from his grasp and lightly cup both of his cheeks in my hands. “I know you don’t want me to, but I do. And I can’t imagine any better first time than this. I might be doing it for the wrong reasons, but I’m not doing it with the wrong person.”

One ragged sob escapes from his chest and I worry that I’ve lost him, that our moment is over. Then he slowly starts nodding, while his hips begin to rhythmically rock. When he finally speaks, it is only in a whisper. “I tried so hard not to fall for you.”

He didn’t say he loves me too, but he doesn’t have to. It’s in his every action. His mouth claims mine with a new fervor while his hands work my pants down over my hips, discarding them somewhere nearby. I shiver as his hands glide across my now bare legs. It takes me too long to figure out the snap of his jeans, and my impatience is spreading to him. He finishes removing them himself and then he’s over me and I’m feeling absolutely every inch of him pressed against me.

My hips search for him, lifting me in suggestive circles against him, and we moan together, succumbing to the heat. His gaze bores into mine, searching—for what, I don’t know. Even as he leans over, rummaging for something in his jeans—his wallet, then something in it—he doesn’t take his eyes from mine. It’s like there’s an invisible tether connecting us, and I know, I just know, that after this it will never be broken. Not for either of us. They say you never forget your first, and Kevin will always be that for me. I just hope he’s not the first to also break my heart. But even if he is, I’ll always have this memory, this one perfect—and fucked-up—day.

Kevin sheaths himself in the condom he pulled from his wallet and then eases himself over me once more. He’s lost the indecision in his expression, and I know we’re both in this, all the way. He doesn’t ask me if I’m sure again. I don’t think he needs to.

“I’ll try to be gentle,” he promises, stroking my cheek with his thumb while his fingers cradle the back of my neck. He presses a kiss to my mouth, starting softly, then deepening it. The heat between my legs is back, and I don’t flinch as he presses against my opening. At first it’s just the tip and I squirm, both sensitive and needy. I want more. “Easy,” he mumbles against my mouth. “I’m not a saint, Lexi, and I’m trying to make this as easy as possible on you.”

“I won’t break.” But I might. My heart is overflowing with emotion, and my insides ache to explode.

Kevin sinks deeper into me and I suck in a sharp breath. It’s not pain, but it’s more than a little pressure. My hips freeze. I’m afraid to move, afraid to breathe.

Concern fills his eyes. “You okay?”

I think for a moment and realize that yes, I am. “Yeah.”

Kevin’s hands hold my hips and he pulls me to him as he pushes a bit deeper and my eyes well with tears. It hurts, and yet I feel whole. Connected. “I’ll just be still for a bit. Tell me when you’re ready for more.” He begins to lightly explore my mouth with his tongue, and his kiss distracts me until the feeling between my legs is more of a strange discomfort rather than a hurt. The pressure and heat is building, and I’m having trouble resisting the urge to move. Tentatively, I rock my hips upward and a tiny wave of pleasure rolls up my spine.

Kevin moans, exciting me more.

When I rock again, he rocks with me, stretching me, filling me. “Oh my God,” my breath comes out in a rush as stars of light and pleasure prickle behind my eyes. My entire body is coiled with sensations, culminating in a ball of pleasure right between my legs. “Oh God,” I moan again as he thrusts.

We find a perfect rhythm together, and when I think I can’t take it anymore, that the built-up sensations are going to rip me into pieces of Lexi-confetti that will blow away on the wind, he picks up the pace, rubbing in a way that feels unbelievably good. My arms press against his sides and my fingers dig brutally into his shoulder blades as waves of incredible pleasure explode, wracking my body with shivers.

Kevin thrusts deep and growls. He’s so fierce that at first I’m afraid he’s in pain but then he stills, panting.

But he’s smiling all the way to his eyes, and that makes me smile too, even if it is a tired, exhausted smile.

Kevin scoops me up in his arms and we climb beneath the blankets wrapped in each other’s arms. “Oh sweet girl, how am I ever going to let you go?”

“You won’t have to,” I whisper sleepily against his chest as sleep finally wins and I drift away.

—-♥—-

K
evin

It’s hard to beat myself up with Lexi tucked into the crook of my arm. I’m trying, but every time I let myself take in the peaceful curve of her lips, I get the urge to smile. And I should not be smiling.

Because when Axel gets here tomorrow and finds out I slept with the girl he’s determined to keep innocent, he’s going to kick my ass. And I deserve it. And believe me, he’s going to find out. Lexi will tell Tess, who will tell Axel, who will then go all pissed-off-surrogate-brother on me. But I can’t bring myself to regret it. Doing so would be a betrayal to her. And to myself.

My phone beeps from its place in the pocket of my jeans. Moving as slowly as I can, I shift over, stretching my arm until my fingers can just barely snag the discarded pants from the floor. Lexi stirs, but then snuggles in closer, remaining asleep. I never thought of myself as the kind of guy who would enjoy after-sex snuggles, but Lexi is rapidly teaching me that maybe I don’t know as much about myself as I thought. Because fuck, I don’t want to get out of this bed ever again. I want to just cocoon myself up with her and build a net of safety so we can stay comfortable and cozy forever. Or at least until she wakes again and I can introduce her to the concept of round two.

And it doesn’t hurt that keeping her occupied in bed is keeping her mind off seeing her roommate’s brain splattered on her dorm floor. Although there’s one problem with staying in bed with Lexi: I need to piss like a racehorse. My phone chirps again and I fish it out of my pocket to glance at the screen. I immediately stifle a groan when I see a notification of a new text from Axel. Does that mother fucker have ESP or something? Before I can open the message, the phone rings again, this time for a call. Also from Axel.

Uneasiness settles in my stomach. If he’s trying this desperately to reach me, it can’t be good. I silence the ringer and toss a wistful glance down at Lexi. A strand of her hair is falling across her face and I brush it away. She sighs peacefully, but her eyes remain closed. I carefully slide from beneath her, propping a pillow under her to take my place.

Lucky fucking pillow.

Wait...I’m getting jealous of a pillow.

I’m so screwed.

I smile again.

I have no idea how to make this work, because I don’t lead a life conducive to long-term relationships, but the surprising thing is that I’m even worrying about that. It’s not even worth discussing until after the trial, because Lexi and I are going to be together until I know she’s safe, but what about after that? And oh boy, are we going to be together. I’m already salivating at the thought of being deep inside her again. It’s not that I don’t know it’s risky sleeping with her when I’m supposed to be protecting her. I’ve just accepted the fact that trying to resist whatever there is between us is more distracting than giving into it. So really, being with her is the safest option.

And if I keep telling myself that, I might eventually believe it.

My phone rings again—fuck, Axel is impatient tonight—and I snap it to my ear after shutting myself in the bathroom. I lean against the vanity as I push talk. “What the fuck is so urgent?” Inwardly I wince and make a mental note to curb my temper. After all, Axel is currently writing my paycheck. And he’s not the one with a guilty conscience.

“How the hell did they take her? Why didn’t you call me?” Axel’s voice is at least two octaves above its normal tone.

My brain sheds all fog and all irritation, and I’m instantly in operative mode. “Slow down. Did something happen to Tess?” Holy shit, if someone has taken Tess, Axel is going to go motherfucking ballistic. I’m not honestly sure he could survive that again.

“No, Lexi! How the hell did they get her from you, and why I am I finding out about it through a ransom demand, rather than through the son of a bitch I paid to protect her?”

My heart lurches at the thought and I can’t help myself. I have to open the bathroom door and peek back at the bed, just to reassure myself. Once it’s closed again I let out the breath I’ve been holding. “Calm down. I assure you, Lexi has not been taken. She’s lying asleep in the bed right now.”

“But they sent a picture!” he roars into the phone.

While Axel is getting more and more worked up, my own heart rate has slowed. Obviously this is some sort of prank, someone hoping to make a quick buck. Someone at the school who knows I’m her bodyguard probably found out that Axel was the one footing the bill, so they thought they’d scam him. I’ll figure out who and teach them a lesson, but it can wait until I’ve pissed, showered, and maybe had some breakfast. “Send it to me.”

“I already did! Don’t you read your fucking texts?” Axel is furious, and I think this is the first time he’s truly been furious at me. So much for employee of the month.

“Bro. Take a chill. I just woke up and you called me before I could. I had to get out bed without waking Lexi before I could answer.”

Axel falls into silence for the first time since I answered the call and I instantly realize my mistake.

Fuck.

I swallow. “Before you say anything—”

“You were in bed
with Lexi
?”

I’m not sure if I’m reading his tone right. He sounds almost incredulous. I’m not sure if it is that he can’t believe I was in bed with her, because he can’t believe I’d betray him like that, or if he just thinks I’m a monk and he’s shocked I’m with a girl at all. Axel is a close enough friend that he knows what Nuri’s death did to me, so I can’t say that I’m surprised.

I hear Tess squeal in the background and I grin. At least someone is happy about this. “Axel, things are complicated and—”

“Complicated? Complicated!” He’s practically shouting. A few muffled bangs come from the other end of the line, and then Tess is talking to me. “Don’t mind him. He’s just on mental overload today, and he can’t stop thinking of Lexi as a little girl. He’ll come around.”