Nights with Uncle Remus (19 page)

“Dey all git ready, dey did, en Brer Rabbit march up ter de pon' en make fer ter th'ow he hook in de water, but des 'bout dat time hit seem lak he see sump'n. De t'er creeturs, dey stop en watch his motions. Brer Rabbit, he drap he pole, he did, en he stan' dar scratchin' he head en lookin' down in de water.

“De gals dey 'gun ter git oneasy w'en dey see dis, en Miss Meadows, she up en holler out, she did:

“ ‘Law, Brer Rabbit, w'at de name er goodness de marter in dar?'

“Brer Rabbit scratch he head en look in de water. Miss Motts, she hilt up 'er petticoats, she did, en 'low she monstus fear'd er snakes. Brer Rabbit keep on scratchin' en lookin'.

“Bimeby he fetch a long bref, he did, en he 'low:

“ ‘Ladies en gentermuns all, we des might ez well make tracks fum dish yer place, kaze dey aint no fishin' in dat pon' fer none er dish yer crowd.'

“Wid dat, Brer Tarrypin, he scramble up ter de aidge en look over, en he shake he head, and 'low:

“ ‘Tooby sho'—tooby sho'! Tut-tut-tut!' en den he crawl back, he did, en do lak he wukkin' he min'.

“ ‘Don't be skeert, ladies, kaze we er boun' ter take keer un you, let come w'at will, let go w'at mus',' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee. ‘Accidents got ter happen unter we all, des same ez dey is unter yuther folks; en dey aint nuthin' much de marter, 'ceppin' dat de Moon done drap in de water. Ef you don't b'leeve me you kin look fer yo'se'f,' sezee.

“Wid dat dey all went ter de bank en lookt in; en, sho nuff, dar lay de Moon, a-swingin' an' a-swayin' at de bottom er de pon'.”

The little boy laughed. He had often seen the reflection of the sky in shallow pools of water, and the startling depths that seemed to lie at his feet had caused him to draw back with a shudder.

“Brer Fox, he look in, he did, en he 'low, ‘Well, well, well!' Brer Wolf, he look in, en he 'low, ‘Mighty bad, mighty bad!' Brer B'ar, he look in, en he 'low, ‘Tum, tum, tum!' De ladies dey look in, en Miss Meadows she squall out, ‘Ain't dat too much?' Brer Rabbit, he look in ag'in, en he up en 'low, he did:

“ ‘Ladies en gentermuns, you all kin hum en haw, but less'n we gits dat Moon out er de pon', dey aint no fish kin be ketch 'roun' yer dis night; en ef you'll ax Brer Tarrypin, he'll tell you de same.'

“Den dey ax how kin dey git de Moon out er dar, en Brer Tarrypin 'low dey better lef' dat wid Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit he shot he eyes, he did, en make lak he wukkin' he min'. Bimeby, he up'n 'low:

“ ‘De nighes' way out'n dish yer diffikil is fer ter sen' roun' yer too ole Mr. Mud-Turkle en borry his sane, en drag dar Moon up fum dar,' sezee.

“ ‘I 'clar' ter gracious I mighty glad you mention dat,' said Brer Tarrypin, sezee. ‘Mr. Mud-Turkle is setch clos't kin ter me dat I calls 'im Unk Muck, en I lay ef you sen' dar atter dat sane you won't fine Unk Muck so mighty disaccomerdatin'.'

“Well,” continued Uncle Remus, after one of his tantalizing pauses, “dey sont atter de sane, en wiles Brer Rabbit wuz gone, Brer Tarrypin, he 'low dat he done year tell time en time ag'in dat dem w'at fine de Moon in de water en fetch 'im out, lakwise dey ull fetch out a pot er money. Dis make Brer Fox, en Brer Wolf, en Brer B'ar feel mighty good, en dey 'low, dey did, dat long ez Brer Rabbit been so good ez ter run atter de sane, dey ull do de sanein'.

“Time Brer Rabbit git back, he see how de lan' lay, en he make lak he wanter go in atter de Moon. He pull off he coat, en he 'uz fixin' fer ter shuck he wescut, but de yuther creeturs dey 'low dey wan't gwine ter let dryfoot man lak Brer Rabbit go in de water. So Brer Fox, he tuck holt er one staff er de sane, Brer Wolf he tuck holt er de yuther staff, en Brer B'ar he wade' long behime fer ter lif' de sane 'cross logs en snags.

“Dey make one haul—no Moon; n'er haul—no Moon; n'er haul—no Moon. Den bimeby dey git out furder fum de bank. Water run in Brer Fox year, he shake he head; water run in Brer Wolf year, he shake he head; water run in Brer B'ar year, he shake he head. En de fus news you know, w'iles dey wuz a-shakin', dey come to whar de bottom shelfed off. Brer Fox he step off en duck hisse'f; den Brer Wolf duck hisse'f; en Brer B'ar he make a splunge en duck hisse'f; en, bless gracious, dey kick en splatter twel it look lak dey 'uz gwine ter slosh all de water outer de mill pon'.

“W'en dey come out, de gals 'uz all a-snickerin' en a-gigglin', en dey well mought, 'kase go whar you would, dey want no wuss lookin' creeturs dan dem; en Brer Rabbit, he holler, sezee:

“ ‘I speck you all, gents, better go home en git some dry duds, en n'er time we'll be in better luck,' sezee. ‘I hear talk dat de Moon'll bite at a hook ef you take fools fer baits, en I lay dat's de onliest way fer ter ketch 'er,' sezee.

“Brer Fox en Brer Wolf en Brer B'ar went drippin' off, en Brer Rabbit en Brer Tarrypin, dey went home wid de gals.”

XX

One night while the little boy was sitting in Uncle Remus's cabin, waiting for the old man to finish his hoecake, and refresh his memory as to the further adventures of Brother Rabbit, his friends and his enemies, something dropped upon the top of the house with a noise like the crack of a pistol. The little boy jumped, but Uncle Remus looked up and exclaimed, “Ah-yi!” in a tone of triumph.

“What was that, Uncle Remus?” the child asked, after waiting a moment to see what else would happen.

“News fum Jack Fros', honey. W'en dat hick'y-nut tree out dar year 'im comin' she 'gins ter drap w'at she got. I mighty glad,” he continued, scraping the burnt crust from his hoe-cake with an old case knife, “I mighty glad hick'y-nuts aint big en heavy ez grinestones.”

He waited a moment to see what effect this queer statement would have on the child.

“Yasser, I mighty glad—dat I is. 'Kase of hick'y-nuts 'uz big ez grine-stones dish yer ole callyboose 'ud be a leakin' long 'fo' Chris'mus.”

Just then another hickory-nut dropped upon the roof, and the little boy jumped again. This seemed to amuse Uncle Remus, and he laughed until he was near to choking himself with his smoking hoe-cake.

“You does des 'zackly lak ole Brer Rabbit done, I 'clar' to gracious ef you don't!” the old man cried, as soon as he could get his breath; “dez zackly fer de worl'.”

The child was immensely flattered, and at once he wanted to know how Brother Rabbit did. Uncle Remus was in such good humor that he needed no coaxing. He pushed his spectacles back on his forehead, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and began:

“Hit come 'bout dat soon one mawnin' todes de fall er de year, Brer Rabbit wuz stirrin' 'roun' in de woods atter some bergamot fer ter make 'im some ha'r-grease. De win' blow so col' dat it make 'im feel right frisky, en eve'y time he year de bushes rattle he make lak he skeered. He 'uz gwine on dis away, hoppity-skippity, w'en bimeby he year Mr. Man cuttin' on a tree way off in de woods. He fotch up, Brer Rabbit did, en lissen fus wid one year en den wid de yuther.

“Man, he but en cut, en Brer Rabbit, he lissen en lissen. Bimeby, w'iles all dis was gwine on, down come de tree—
kubber-lang-bang-blam!
Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n jump des lak you jump, en let 'lone dat, he make a break, he did, en he lipt out fum dar lak de dogs wuz atter 'im.”

“Was he scared, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy.

“Skeerd! Who?
Him?
Shoo! don't you fret yo'se'f 'bout Brer Rabbit, honey. In dem days dey want nothin' gwine dat kin skeer Brer Rabbit. Tooby sho', he tuck keer hisse'f, en ef you know de man w'at 'fuse ter take keer hisse'f, I lak mighty well ef you p'int 'im out. Deed'n dat I would!”

Uncle Remus seemed to boil over with argumentative indignation.

“Well, den,” he continued, “Brer Rabbit run twel he git sorter het up like, en des 'bout de time he makin' ready fer ter squot en ketch he win', who should he meet but Brer Coon gwine home atter settin' up wid ole Brer Bull-Frog. Brer Coon see 'im runnin', en he hail 'im.

“ ‘W'at yo' hurry, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘Aint got time ter tarry.'

“ ‘Folks sick?'

“ ‘No, my Lord! Aint got time ter tarry!'

“ ‘Tryin' yo' soopleness?'

“ ‘No, my Lord! Aint got time ter tarry!'

“ ‘Do pray, Brer Rabbit, tell me de news!'

“ ‘Mighty big fuss back dar in de woods. Aint got time ter tarry!'

“Dis make Brer Coon feel mighty skittish, 'kaze he fur ways from home, en he des lipt out, he did, en went a b'ilin' thoo de woods. Brer Coon aint gone fur twel he meet Brer Fox.

“ ‘Hey, Brer Coon, whar you gwine?'

“ ‘Aint got time ter tarry!'

“ ‘Gwine at' de doctor?'

“ ‘No, my Lord! Aint got time ter tarry.'

“ ‘Do pray, Brer Coon, tell me de news.'

“ ‘Mighty quare racket back dar in de woods! Aint got time ter tarry!'

“Wid dat, Brer Fox lipt out, he did, en fa'rly split de win'. He aint gone fur twel he meet Brer Wolf.

“ ‘Hey, Brer Fox! Stop en res' yo'se'f!'

“ ‘Aint got time ter tarry!'

“ ‘Who bin want de doctor?'

“ ‘No'ne, my Lord! Aint got time ter tarry!'

“ ‘Do pray, Brer Fox, good er bad, tell me de news.'

“ ‘Mighty kuse fuss back dar in de woods! Aint got time ter tarry!'

“Wid dat, Brer Wolf shuck hisse'f loose fum de face er de yeth, an he aint git fur twel he meet Brer B'ar. Brer B'ar he ax, en Brer Wolf make ans'er, en bimeby Brer B'ar he fotch a snort en runn'd off; en, bless gracious! twant long 'fo' de las' one er de creeturs wuz a skaddlin' thoo de woods lak de Ole Boy was atter um—en all 'kaze Brer Rabbit year Mr. Man cut tree down.

“Dey run'd en dey run'd,” Uncle Remus went on, “twel dey come ter Brer Tarrypin house, en dey sorter slack up 'kaze dey done mighty nigh los' der win'. Brer Tarrypin, he up'n ax um wharbouts dey gwine, en dey 'low dey wuz a monstus tarry-fyin' racket back dar in de woods. Brer Tarrypin, he ax w'at she soun' lak. One say he dunno, n'er say he dunno, den dey all say dey dunno. Den Brer Tarrypin, he up'n ax who year dis monstus racket. One say he dunno, n'er say he dunno, den day all say dey dunno. Dis make ole Brer Tarrypin laff 'way down in he insides, en he up'n say, sezee:

“ ‘You all kin run 'long ef you feel skittish,' sezee. ‘Atter I cook my brekkus en wash up de dishes, ef I gits win' er any 'spicious racket maybe I mought take down my pairsol en foller long atter you,' sezee.

“W'en de creeturs come ter make inquirements 'mungs one er n'er 'bout who start de news, hit went right spang back ter Brer Rabbit, but, lo en beholes! Brer Rabbit aint dar, en it tu'n out dat Brer Coon is de man w'at seed 'im las'. Den dey got ter layin' de blame un it on one er n'er, en little mo' en dey'd er fit dar scan'lous, but ole Brer Tarrypin, he up'n 'low dat ef dey want ter git de straight un it, dey better go see Brer Rabbit.

“All de creeturs wuz 'gree'ble, en dey put out ter Brer Rabbit house. W'en dey git dar, Brer Rabbit wuz a-settin' cross-legged in de front po'ch winkin' he eye at de sun. Brer B'ar, he speak up:

“ ‘W'at make you fool me, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘Fool who, Brer B'ar?'

“ ‘Me, Brer Rabbit, dat's who.'

“ ‘Dish yer de fus' time I seed you dis day, Brer B'ar, en you er mo' dan welcome ter dat.'

“Dey all ax 'im en git de same ans'er, en den Brer Coon put in:

“ ‘W'at make you fool me, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘How I fool you, Brer Coon?'

“ ‘You make lak dey wuz a big racket, Brer Rabbit.'

“ ‘Dey sholy wuz a big racket, Brer Coon'

“ ‘W'at kinder racket, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘
Ah-yi!
You oughter ax me dat fus', Brer Coon.'

“ ‘I axes you now, Brer Rabbit.'

“ ‘Mr. Man cut tree down, Brer Coon.'

“ 'Co'se dis make Brer Coon feel like a nat'al-born Slink, en 'twa'n't long 'fo' all de creeturs make der bow ter Brer Rabbit en mozey off home.”

“Brother Rabbit had the best of it all along,” said the little boy, after waiting to see whether there was a sequel to the story.

“Oh, he did dat away!” exclaimed Uncle Remus. “Brer Rabbit was a mighty man in dem days.”

XXI

“I 'clar' ter gracious, honey,” Uncle Remus exclaimed one night, as the little boy ran in, “you sholy aint chaw'd yo' vittles. Hit aint bin no time, skacely, sence de supper-bell rung, en ef you go on dis away, you'll des nat'ally pe'sh yo'se'f out.”

“Oh, I wasn't hungry,” said the little boy. “I had something before supper, and I wasn't hungry anyway.”

The old man looked keenly at the child, and presently he said:

“De ins en de outs er dat kinder talk all come ter de same p'int in my min'. Youer bin a-cuttin' up at de table, en Mars. John, he tuck'n sont you 'way fum dar, en w'iles he think youer off some'rs a-snifflin' en a-feelin' bad, yer you is a-high-primin' 'roun' des lak you done had mo' supper dan de King er Philanders.”

Before the little boy could inquire about the King of Philanders he hears his father calling him. He started to go out, but Uncle Remus motioned him back.