NEWBORN: Book One of the Newborn Trilogy (33 page)

I’m so fascinated I forget to be angry. “What
did you tell Mr. McClendon?”

“Oh, I forgot!” Mom says, putting her Coke
down. “He was your teacher, too. I invited him out to lunch. He’s
going through a divorce, too, as it happens. He’s not my type, Nora
Saynt. Not in the least!”

“How so?”

Geez, Mom is so infuriating! She’s so
sociable and nice I simply can’t stay mad at her. Her charm is like
a blanket.

“For one thing,” Mom begins, “he’s a teacher!
I can’t date a teacher. They don’t make enough money!”

I laugh at her joke. I can’t help it. Because
I can’t stay mad at her. She’s my Mom. In case you’re wondering –
yes – I do hate myself right now. So much for my fucking willpower.
It’s official. Now I suck at everything. Including hating my
Mom.

Crossing her arms, Mom leans back in her
chair. “I have a bone to pick with you.”

Holy bejesus shitballs!

How on earth did she manage to turn this
around? She’s a master. “What is it?” I ask. Why am I tolerating
this? Why am I tolerating her and her little games? The answer hits
me. The alcohol. The fucking alcohol. It’s mellowing me out like
crazy. No wonder she’s getting away with her shit.

“I had a call,” Mom begins, “from the
bursar’s office.”

Panic roars. “I haven’t done anything to do
with money!” Oh geez, this is her touchiest subject. “I haven’t
bought anything at the school store on credit besides my books. I
haven’t even
started
using my points!”

“I know, I know!” Mom reassures, holding up a
hand to quiet me. “It has nothing to do with money.” My relief is
visible and I know it. I’m already at her beck and call. I’m
pathetic. “They called anyway,” she continues, “The lady was
uncomfortable. Apparently they’re not supposed to make calls like
this. But she said you’ve only had three meals all semester. She
also
mentioned a girl died from anorexia a few years ago at
Evergreen. She wants to make sure you’re okay.”

Fucking fuck!

I’m turning red. This is not news to digest
while somewhat intoxicated. I am definitely a lightweight. I’ve
figured that out by now. “I’m not anorexic,” I tell her, my words
panic stricken. “Really, I’m not!”

Mom eyes me up and down. “You do look thinner
than I remember. But not skeletal. Not on death’s doorstep.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I tell her sarcastically. “You
know, for caring!”

She gestures to the ceiling. “What am I
supposed to say? I never saw this coming, Nora Saynt. I didn’t
think you were that type of girl.”

“I’m not!” I can’t drink my gin and tonic
fast enough.

Mom gazes at me a moment longer. “Okay –
we’ll say no more about it. I wanted to let you know.”

She’s incredible. Two months without a peep.
Now she’s the poster of maternalistic affection. Only she can
achieve such a feat. Most sadly of all I admire her for it. How
does she do it? Genius.

She’s distracting me now, pointing across the
room. Incredibly obvious. “Nora Saynt,” she begins, “there’s a boy
checking you out at the bar. He’s been staring over here for the
last five minutes.”

Oh no! Oh no! Not Gabriel. Not now! Not when
I’m inebriated. I need my senses to handle introducing my boyfriend
to my mother. Dread filling my entire being, I turn around. It’s
not Gabriel. Not now.

It’s Wolf.

I’m gaping. I
can’t help it. Where the hell has he been all this time?

“I’m guessing from your expression you know
him,” Mom muses, sipping her Coke.

Well isn’t she intuitive.

I nod once, my eyes fixed on a black pair
across the room. Wolf doesn’t wave. Doesn’t make any gesture of
recognition. His expression is impermeable.

“Excuse me,” I say to Mom. Getting up, I put
my gin and tonic down. I need to figure out what’s going on. So I
cross the room at what I hope is a moderate pace. Reaching the bar,
I take a seat beside him. He’s silent, waiting for me to speak.
“Where have you been?” I ask. “I’ve missed you in class.”

A russet brow furrows. “Just in class?”

“No!” I say too quickly. “In life, too –
Wolf, I… where did you go?”

I’m confused by everything. Where
did
he go? I’ve hardly seen him in a month. He’s come to only one class
since the forest. That time he seemed flustered and distant. Not at
all his usual, happy self.

“I’ve been in the forest,” Wolf says, the
movement of maroon lips sweeping me away.

Oh geez, he’s so cute! I almost forgot how I
used to fantasize about… I mean, of course I would never do
anything! I have a boyfriend for crying out loud. I’m not the kind
of girl who can do both.

“You know,” Wolf continues, bringing me back
to the present, “looking around. Trying to figure things out.”

“English 301,” I begin. “What about it? Have
you dropped out?”

“Had to,” he remarks, “I’ve missed too many
classes.”

“But why, Wolf? Why did you have to drop out?
You were only taking
one
class! You must know how much I
look forward to seeing you.”
Oh fuck!
I’m going to steal
myself. “English 301 used to be my favorite class,” I tell him
quickly, before I can stop myself, “for no other reason than
you.”

Wolf blushes, the color filling russet
cheeks. “That’s kind of you to say. But I had to drop the class.
I’ve had too much on my mind to do schoolwork. Even for one class,”
he finishes guiltily.

What the fuck?

What’s been on his mind? When did Wolf become
a puzzle? That’s what I like about him. He’s so simple. So pure. So
easy to read. Especially compared to my wizard. Now Wolf’s a
puzzle. A gorgeous puzzle, but a puzzle all the same. I scour for
the right frame for my next question.

The alcohol is helping. “I don’t understand,
Wolf,” I say to him, “what can possibly be on your mind so much you
need to drop out of school? It seems like an extreme response to
what I’m sure is a simple problem.” Am I calling him daft? I hope
not. Maybe the alcohol isn’t helping, actually.

“You don’t want to know,” he warns. “A
Sprite,” he tells the inquiring bartender.

“Nothing, thanks. No, Wolf – I
do
want
to know. If something is bothering you it’s bothering me! We’re
friends. I mean, we are – aren’t we?” Never would have said that
without a drink.

“Yup,” Wolfgang responds, “that’s part of the
problem.”

I’m bewildered. “What? I don’t
understand.”

“You don’t see it yet?”

Shitballs.
Now he’s calling
me
daft. I deserve it. This is what two gin and tonics will do to me.
“No, I don’t! Tell me, Wolf! I’m not going to feel right till I
know. Because your problems are mine.”

He sips his drink, looking sideways at me.
“You will regret saying that.”

“I won’t!” I exclaim flatly. “Tell me
already! What’s been on your mind?”

Wolf averts black eyes. “You.”

I’m staring at his averted face, blushing
like crazy.

Oh geez, I should have guessed, should have
seen it coming.

Maybe I
did
see it coming.
Subconsciously. And my consciousness would not let it be heard.
Ugh! I’m so stupid! Was I born this way or has it grown worse over
time? I can’t begin to know.

“Wolf, I – I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He resumes eye contact. “For
what, Nora?”

Geez, is he getting mad at me? I can’t
imagine this boy mad at me. Not like Gabriel. “For everything, I
guess,” I tell him.

“Everything?” Wolf repeats. “Does
everything
include leading me on from day one? Does
everything
include my telling you I like you? Does
everything
include you accepting I like you? Does
everything
include the fact you’re dating a loser wizard
instead of me! Is that everything, Nora?”

Oh geez. “He’s not a loser,” I say
automatically.

Not the time
,
Nora
, my alter
ego says.
Not the time
.

Wolf is staring me down like a dog, his
russet skin flaming. “Don’t you understand? It was never just you!
You weren’t the only person who only came to English 301 to see
somebody. It was me, too! I
like
you, Nora! Always have. You
never seem to grasp that, even when I say it to your face!”

Not to interrupt his diatribe, but I totally
still go to English 301. Despite Wolf’s absence. I’m not made of
cash. I can’t go dropping classes left and right simply because
Cutey Maroon Lips is skipping.

I’m trying to keep my thoughts in order. “So
– so you dropped the class because you think I’m taken? Because you
think I already have a boyfriend? Because you think I’m
not
interested in you?”

Wolf’s growing redder. “When you put it like
that,” he begins, “it sounds pathetic. But yeah, basically. Why?”
he shoots back at me, his russet skin alive with color. “Are you
saying you’re not dating the wizard? Are you saying you don’t have
a boyfriend? Are you saying you
do
like me?”

I think hard. “No. No. Yes.”

“This is what I’m talking about!” Wolf
exclaims in exasperation. “From the way you phrased all that it
sounds like you
don’t
have a boyfriend! You do! It’s that
stupid, idiotic wizard!”

“Sorry,” I say, sheepish. Geez, I am a sheep
today. First letting Mom lead me around and now Wolf. I don’t have
the wherewithal about me to play their games. It’s the alcohol that
did me in. “I – I didn’t mean to lead you astray these last couple
months,” I inform him. “I’ve been confused, too.”

Wolf’s black eyes are wide. “Nothing on me,”
he says. “One question. Did you start dating the wizard before or
after I told you how much I hate wizards? How they’re all prickly,
arrogant, stuck up assholes?”

I think back. “We were fraternizing,” I
answer. “Not serious yet.”

I nearly said ‘we hadn’t consummated our
relationship.’ But it occurred to me that saying this to Wolf isn’t
the brightest idea. I’m also realizing this is the first time I’m
seeing him as a woman. Mom too. My virgin, girl days are behind me
now. Thank heavens. Talk about a late bloomer.

“Wait,” says the werewolf. He closes his eyes
and opens them. “You said ‘No. No. Yes.’ So – so you
do
like
me. You do!” His whole being lights up before me, russet and red
and luminous and bright.

“Of course I do, Wolf!”

He beams at me, blinding me with the charm of
his crooked smile. Geez, he’s stunning. I almost forgot. Silly me
again. This boy is pretty when he wants to be – when he’s smiling
and himself and not downcast and sullen. Though technically I
suppose I made him that way. Shame on me!

Wolf’s grin falters. “Another question.”

“Yes?” I say sweetly.

“Will you consider leaving him for me?” Now
his cheeks are flushing of all color, making him the whitest I’ve
seen him. He appears sickly. “I don’t want you to cheat or
anything,” he explains. “I don’t believe in that. But – come on –
he’s a wizard! A mean one, too, from what I witnessed.”

Fucking shitballs!
I have to break his
heart.

“I – I love him, Wolf,” I say glumly, trying
to look as miserable as possible. “I can’t help it. I love him. I
do.”

My werewolf friend looks as though I’ve
punched him in the face. A long pause. “You can’t,” he says
finally. “You
can’t
love him, Nora! You saw what he’s like
in the forest.
I
saw what he’s like in the forest. That’s
not the kind of being who
can
love. He’s cold, calculating,
incapable of it!”

“You don’t know Gabriel,” I remind him. “You
just hate wizards!”

But some of what he’s saying is getting
through. Now Kiri
and
Wolf don’t like Gabriel. Wolf is
biased. Obviously. What about Kiri? Is she biased, too? Maybe she
likes my wizard. Somehow, though, I seriously doubt it. All I need
now is for Mom to run into Gabriel and call him dangerous.

“Listen to me,” Wolf says flatly, leaning
forward over the bar, his black eyes refusing to leave mine. “He
will
never
see you as his equal. Because he doesn’t! You
heard him in the forest. What did he call us there? ‘Sub Purids.’
We’re sub Purids, you and me, Nora. We always will be. Wizards have
always been racist assholes. It’s in their nature, and it’s going
to make love between you and him impossible in the long run. It may
work for a time. But it won’t last.”

I can’t breathe! Grabbing my throat with my
hand, I gesture madly.

“Water!” Wolf exclaims, springing into
action. “Water! Hurry!”

A moment later I’m gulping it down. It’s cool
and refreshing to my body. My mind is aflame with the worry of his
words. ‘It may work for a time. But it won’t last.’ Why am I so
fucked over this? Wolfgang can’t tell the future. He’s a werewolf,
not a soothsayer. Geez, what’s wrong with me?

“Are you okay?”

I nod as I drink, sloshing some on my front.
Fuck!

“Sorry to put it harshly,” Wolf says, “but
there’s the truth of it. Break it off now before he breaks your
heart. Come to me – I will be good to you.
I
will see you as
my equal. You know why? Because you are my equal, Nora. You always
have been and always will be. Gabriel is
our
equal. But he’d
never accept such a low position.”

I chuckle despite myself. I’m so messed up! I
wonder why…

Because
, my alter ego says,
you
believe what Wolf told you. That it won’t last…

Shut the fuck up!
I scream at her.

Wolf is staring at me. Color is returning to
his face, restoring the beauty of those smooth, russet cheeks. “So
what do you say? Will you leave him and be mine? I can love you. I
– I
do
love you.”

A squeak escapes me. “Oh, Wolf! I love you,
too!” I throw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He smells
fantastic – like citrus and leather. I resist the impulse to kiss
him. I still have a boyfriend…