Never Say Never (33 page)

She knew she should get up and close her bedroom door. She should go downstairs and get something ready for him to eat. By the tone of his voice, she could tell the call was personal and one he probably wouldn’t appreciate her hearing.

Getting up to make her way down the stairs, the sudden mention of her name caught her ears. Jill paused, knowing in her heart that what she was doing was going to hurt her. People who listened to conversations about themselves invariably got their feelings hurt.

“Jill is not the problem, for chrissakes. I’m not sure what Maxine’s whole problem is, Roger. All I know is, I was informed that the Copelands have decided Joey is in danger. Until Thursday, I don’t get a chance to tell my side of the story.”

He was silent for a few moments. “Jill has done a superior job of taking care of our family. I can’t imagine what Maxine thinks Jill has done wrong. I do know she’s been upset since she learned Jill was here.”

Jill went down the stairs, her heart torn. On the one hand, she was warmed by Dustin’s support. On the other, she had cost Dustin his child. She should have known better than to stay on at the ranch, knowing Maxine’s vehement dislike of her. Oh, dislike was a weak word for the truth. Maxine had been determined to make certain Jill wasn’t going to stay a part of Joey’s life. She had warned them, and Jill had been a fool to ignore it. Dustin was a good man. He would never have asked her to leave. His temperament wouldn’t allow him to bend on an issue he believed in, and he honestly felt Jill was good for Eunice and Joey.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t turned out to be good for the family in the long run.

She set about making a light supper of sandwiches and soup for Dustin to eat. A moment later he ran down the stairs, slamming the front door behind him.

As if it was an afterthought, the door flew back open.

“I need to go out for a while, Jill,” he called into the house.

“Okay!” she called back, her heart sinking.

Hearing the door shut again, Jill went into the hall and opened the door to walk onto the porch. She waved to Dustin, and as he backed the truck up, he waved to her, too. The wind blew cold and bitter as she watched him leave. In her heart, Jill knew what she had to do. She had waited too long.

Back inside the house, she rubbed her arms for a moment, thinking. Covering the sandwich with plastic wrap and putting the soup away for him to warm later, Jill made sure the kitchen was tidy. Then she got a few trash sacks. It wasn’t an efficient way to carry her few things, but she’d packed baby Holly’s things in her own suitcase, knowing Sadie would get around to returning it eventually.

The suitcase being the least of her problems, trash sacks would have to do. Jill put her possessions in the bags, throwing her cosmetics in her night case. After she finished, she carried her things out to the car and stowed them in the trunk. Tears started to prick at her eyes, but Jill wouldn’t let them come. Not yet.

Going back into the house for the, last time, Jill took a piece of paper and a pen from a drawer. She wrote a few lines, the hardest words she’d ever had to write.

Dear Dustin,

I find it necessary to resign my position as housekeeper. After the happiness I have known in your home, with you and your family, it is hard for me to leave. However, it is time for me to get on with my life, and to stop hiding from my problems. I hope you can understand.

Jill

It didn’t sound right. Nothing about her letter felt good. In fact, Jill felt sick and the tears she was holding back felt like they were going to spill any second. Living with the Reeds had healed her in many ways, made her happier than she’d ever been in her life. Her relationship with Dustin was a thing born of unwilling respect and attraction, all the more surprising because it had happened when she had never dreamed it would. Dustin had taught her that she was a desirable woman. That had been the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her.

But she couldn’t allow herself to take advantage of the healing the Reeds brought her. Not when she was costing them the child they loved. Jill touched the paper she’d written onto her lips, then crossed into the parlor to lay it underneath the tabletop Christmas tree she had so enjoyed watching Joey decorate. She laid her house key on top of it. No longer able to hold back the tears, Jill closed the front door behind her, making certain the doorknob stayed locked. Then she ran to her car, telling herself she couldn’t leave town without saying goodbye to the woman who had believed in her from the start.

Eunice opened her eyes, at first thinking her room was empty of visitors. Vera had not left her side, though Eunice figured it was probably killing her not to get to see her grandbaby. No matter how many times she’d tried to convince her to leave, Vera had only smiled and patted her hand. Eunice knew Vera and that they had that strong, stubborn streak in common. She sighed, knowing the truth was that she appreciated Vera’s devotion.

A voice immediately said, “Is there anything I can get you?”

“Jill.” Eunice managed a tired smile. “How nice of you to come.”

“I shooed Vera off. I hope you won’t mind a substitute.”

“Lord, no. The woman needed a break.”

“Well, she said she’d be back as soon as she showered and got something to eat.”

“She will be, too.” Eunice smiled, casting an eye over the beautiful young girl who had come to sit at her side. Life could be so strange sometimes. Here was this lovely person with a huge bruise on her face, and somehow Eunice thought she had never looked lovelier. Maybe it was because Jill was such a strong woman herself, someone Eunice identified with. She’d never heard her complain, never heard her offer anything but a kind word to everyone. She’d earned the Reed gratitude forever with her kindness to Joey and baby Holly.

She’d earned Eunice’s gratitude for the slow, giving comfort she had shown Dustin. She patted Jill’s hand without speaking, aware that Jill had been patient with her son. Oh, every mother hoped for a woman that would care for and adore a son the way she did; a woman who could overlook most of the man’s flaws and see the best in him. Jill seemed to be built that way. Not that Dustin was a hero by any stretch; Eunice would admit that in a second. But he was a man with heart, a good man who needed a good woman.

Jill fit the picture, but even Eunice knew there were an awful lot of odds for Dustin and Jill to surmount.

“Are you feeling better?”

“I think so.” Eunice smiled self-deprecatingly. “I can’t really tell.”

“Have the doctors given you a diagnosis?”

Jill’s concern was touching to Eunice. “Apparently, I had a minor stroke, a not very unusual incident among folks my age. They can come and pass, sometimes without the person noticing.”

“Will you be able to go home soon?”

Eunice nodded. “They’re running a few more tests, but I should be free soon. I can’t wait to see Joey.”

“Um…” An expression of extreme discomfort crossed Jill’s face. “I don’t think he’s going to be home.”

Eunice was instantly alert. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure…Dustin didn’t tell me exactly. And I wasn’t exactly eavesdropping either, but I heard.” Jill seemed stricken. “A man came to see Dustin this afternoon. I don’t know what they said, exactly, but I did hear him talking to someone on the phone in his room. He was angry. I know he was talking about Maxine on the phone, and how she didn’t like me. Then he left.”

Jill’s voice dropped to a whisper. Eunice pushed herself up on the pillows.

“What possible reason could she have for pulling this now? The court date is Thursday.”

“Maxine came to pick Joey up and I didn’t have him ready.” Jill’s gaze dropped, ashamed. “I was in a bathrobe myself. She said with you in the hospital and Dustin gone so much, she was surprised you would leave Joey in my care.”

“It isn’t any of her business.”

“Dustin hasn’t discussed any of this with me. But I don’t think I misunderstood Maxine’s unhappiness. And he was very upset when he left today.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Eunice she shook her head, wishing she had her strength back. “This time Maxine’s gone too far.” She thought for a minute, looking at the woman with the shiny blonde hair curling gently at her chin. “Don’t let this worry you. Dustin will take care of everything.”

Jill raised unhappy eyes. “I have to worry about it, Eunice. I’ve cost Dustin the person he loves the most. It’s terribly unfair, when he and Joey are just now coming to know how much they care for each other. I can’t do that to him.”

“He didn’t tell you what happened because he knew this was the way you’d feel. He knew you’d feel you had to leave.”

“I do.”

Eunice pursed her lips, staring hard at Jill. “Dustin wouldn’t want you to let Maxine run you off. He’s not that way. Once he’s given you his loyalty, he’ll protect you.”

How different from Carl, thought Jill. She let her gaze drop, unable to let Eunice look inside her soul to see how much she was hurting. “That’s why I have to leave. I can’t let Dustin’s loyalty to me affect his custody situation with his son. It would be a pretty poor way to say thank you.”

Eunice clicked her tongue. Her hands worried the blanket for a minute. “I don’t know. I see your point, but I also know how Dustin is going to feel. I don’t think he’s going to be happy about this at all.”

Jill knew that too. He wouldn’t back down; it wasn’t in his nature. She was going to have to do it for him. It was the right thing to do. After all, she’d wished many times there was something she could do to help Dustin get his son back. There was only one thing she could do—say goodbye to the Reeds.

Slowly she rose, taking Eunice’s hands in hers. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Eunice. I got the best Christmas present in the world when I came to your home. I have my self-respect back, and for that, I can never thank you enough.”

Eunice’s eyes welled with tears. “You gave us an awful lot, too, Jill.”

She shook her head. “No. You gave me your strength, when I didn’t have any left of my own. Now you need it yourself, for you and for your family. I won’t forget you, not ever. I know why Mrs. Benchley trusted you with her grandchild. It’s plain to see why Dustin treats you like his best friend. You are a person with rare honesty and goodness, and if I ever become half the woman you are, it will be more than I ever would have been before I met you.”

“Oh, Jill. Everyone has weak spots in their life. We needed you more than you needed us, honey. You’re a survivor. Believe me, Jill, you are everything you want to be, and it isn’t because of anything we did for you. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Why, your mother’s going to flip when she sees your face. She’ll never want you to come back to Lassiter again.”

Jill placed Eunice’s hand back on the bed with a sad smile. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Goodbye, Eunice,” she whispered, before turning and hurrying from the room. It wouldn’t matter what her mother or anyone else wanted her to do; Jill could never go back to the house on Setting Sun Road anyway, not without jeopardizing Dustin and Joey’s chance for happiness.

Eunice closed her eyes after Jill left. She had never felt so tired. This latest development didn’t feel right; she couldn’t help thinking the situation was going to be worse now that Jill was gone.
Darn Maxine, anyway.
All my life she has been determined to get what is mine.

There was so much more at stake now than a pair of pumps to wear to Homecoming. Their battle had become personal and hurtful. Maxine was never going to forgive Eunice for Nina’s death. Oh, she hadn’t been the reason for Nina’s car accident, but as far as Maxine was concerned, Eunice might as well have driven her off that cliff herself. She claimed her anger was directed at Dustin, but Eunice knew Maxine was really trying to get to her. After all these years, Maxine still hated her. Believing that David and she had conducted an affair had been tinder on an already burning fire. Eunice pressed her eyes together tightly. She had to think. There was something she could do, but her mind wouldn’t give her the answer. She was just achingly tired, but maybe if she rested, the answer would come to her.

Dustin read the note Jill had left, disbelief making it difficult to comprehend what the delicately scrolled handwriting revealed. Reading it through another time, trying to counteract the astonished anger flowing through him, Dustin crumpled the paper into a ball, hurling it into the fireplace.

“Damn it! Of all times for her to run out on us.”

Without Joey, without Eunice being in the house, it was pretty clear Jill had run out on him. As if nothing had existed between them, she’d resigned her position as housekeeper.

Like hell! A frown settled on his face. Had their lovemaking meant nothing to her? Had his lighthearted chitchat about getting married not clearly signaled his strong feelings for her? No, he hadn’t told her he loved her, but it should have been obvious. He had been in no position to talk of love or a lasting commitment with him in the heat of a custody battle. He had known that there was little he could offer her.

Of course, he had even less to offer her now. Strangely, and perhaps perversely, he felt that was why Jill should have stuck around. He needed her support. With his mother ill, and the possibility of Joey being taken from him a very real specter, he needed Jill’s warmth to keep him from running into the pecan trees and shrieking like the madman inside him wanted to do. Jill kept him sane.