The Great Smelling Bee

Map

Morning Announcements

1.
Do I Look Tense?

2.
A Whole Other Chapter

3.
What Stinks?

4.
Parrot Plop

5.
Busted!

6.
My Raffle Surprise

7.
Sherman Oaks Has a Pet

8.
My Lucky Day

9.
Sherman Squeals

10.
Kidnapped!

11.
Meow

12.
Doomed!

13.
The New Student

14.
Jelly Beans

15.
First-Day Jitters

16.
He Speaks French

17.
He Sings, Too

18.
Barry's First Exam

19.
The Lucky Winner

20.
The Honor Student

About the Author

Other Books by Rotten School Series

Copyright

About the Publisher

Good morning, everyone. This is Headmaster Upchuck. I'd like all of you Rotten Students to settle down now so I can read the Morning Announcements.

As you know, I read important news over the loudspeaker every morning. It's my way of saying good morning to you all without having to leave my office and see your grinning faces.

Ow! That really hurt my ears!

Doesn't anybody know how to stop that horrible squealing?

OWW!

I hope you can hear me. Here are today's Morning Announcements….

 

Tryouts for the Armpit Band will be held in the second-floor boys' locker room. If you play either one or both armpits, you are urged to try out. Don't come just to be funny. You
must
be serious about playing the armpit.

 

Any student who ate the pigeon stew in Ms. Sally Monella's fourth-period cooking class—please stop by the nurse's office this morning to have your stomach pumped.

 

Attention art students. Third grader Billy Bob Heffernan will be showing off his new tattoos in the gym after school.

 

There is a mistake on the posters you see around campus. We are inviting all students to enter the SPELLING Bee. Not SMELLING Bee. The Smelling Bee—I mean,
Spelling
Bee—will be held next Friday. Warning: All the words will be three-letter words—so it will be hard! But we want all good smellers to join in. Did I say smellers? I meant spellers.

 

Finally, bathroom privileges for fourth graders will be suspended for the rest of the month.

I'm Bernie Bridges, and I usually walk around with a dazzling smile. Ask anyone. When I smile, it's sunshine.
Sunshine!
Not to mention my adorable dimples.

But today I wasn't smiling. Today my handsome forehead was wrinkled from heavy thoughts. Behind my glasses, my big brown eyes darted from side to side.

Tense? Was I tense?

Does a lizard change its spots?

Dude, I was tense. I had a problem.

A problem that could get me into major trouble. A problem that could get me booted out of school.

You probably don't have this kind of problem. Because you go home every day.

But I live at the Rotten School. It's a boarding school. That means I don't go home. I live here in a dorm with a bunch of other guys.

Actually, we live in an old house called Rotten House. A whole bunch of fourth and fifth graders live here, and we love it.

My friends and I claimed the third floor, because it's good for dropping things out the window on people.

Mrs. Heinie says it's against school rules to drop things on people. She knows all the rules. She's always sniffing around, snooping on us, telling us the rules we are breaking.

But that's her job. She is our dorm mother. She is in charge of all us guys who live in Rotten House, and she is our fourth-grade core teacher.

Mrs. Heinie has her own apartment in the attic. We think she has spy cameras up there. Because she always knows when we're dropping things out the window on people.

Mrs. Heinie is very nearsighted. Her glasses are as thick as ice cubes.

But she still knows
everything
!

That's why I'm afraid she's going to discover my secret. And then I'm DOOMED.

How did I get in this mess?

Well…that's a whole other chapter.