Never Let Go (15 page)

“Thanks,” he sighs. “But it doesn’t matter what you do. All Spencer has to do is say one word…”

“He won’t,” Katy jumps in. “He’s not like that. He might have his faults, but he doesn’t snitch. I can guarantee you that.”

“We’ll see,” Andrew says, unconvinced.

“What is it with you two?” I ask. “I saw you guys arguing once. It’s obvious you know each other.”

“It’s a long story.” Andrew shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He looks up and meets my eyes. “What matters is the way I acted tonight. You’re right, Paige. I don’t know what came over me. But I’m sorry. If it means anything, I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Spencer and I were just talking, Andrew,” I explain with a sad sigh. “Talk. That’s all it was.”

“I know. I should have trusted you.”

“I don’t know why you didn’t.” I’m whispering now. “I’ve never given you reason otherwise.”

Andrew makes a point of moving his gaze to my wrist. To where the bracelet Spencer gave me still is.

Unconsciously, I start to move my other hand to cover it. I catch myself and stop. I do
not
want to feel guilty over something so innocuous.

Andrew’s eyes return to my face. “I’m sorry,” he says again. “I should get back. Jordan’s probably wondering why I’ve been gone for so long.”

I nod, eyes downcast. I don’t look up until he walks out the door.

Katy exhales loudly when the door shuts. “Well, that was a bit of a disaster.”

“You’re understating it,” I groan, leaning back into the couch and draping an arm over my eyes.

“What happened, anyway?” she asks. “Andrew ran after you almost as soon as I started talking to him.”

“I guess he just doesn’t like Spencer,” I mutter.

“It’s way more than that, Paige. He hates Spencer with a passion. I could see it in his eyes.”

She gives me a significant look that tells me exactly what she thinks the cause of their animosity is.

“Hey, hey, it has nothing to do with me, all right?” I defend. “Andrew doesn’t even know about—” I cut off, remembering suddenly that Katy doesn’t know what happened between me and Spencer that night a few weeks ago, either.

“About what?” she prods. “What aren’t you telling me, Paige?”

I sigh. “You promise you won’t say a word?”

“To who? Andrew? I don’t even know him!”

“Him, or
anybody
else,” I clarify.

“You can trust me, Paige.”

“Okay. Well, the thing is… I may or may not have made out with Spencer a few weeks ago.”

A great grin splits Katy’s face in two. She laughs. “No way!”

I nod, and smile a little. “The most reliable sources say there’s a high probability it actually happened, but I’m not here to confirm or deny it either way.”

Katy laughs again and wraps her arms around me in a hug. “I
knew
something happened between the two of you. You haven’t had sex with him yet?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Oh, Paige. You’re such a tease! No wonder he’s been hounding after you all month. You can’t imagine the number of times he’s asked me about you.”

“He did?” I say, surprised. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’ve been so busy with everything, I didn’t ever feel like interrupting. And you asked me before not to do anything to encourage him. Remember?”

“I do,” I admit. “But, still. How many times?”

“More than I care to count. If any guy were that persistent with me, I would have given in a long time ago.” She giggles. “So, what are you going to do about Andrew?”

“God, who knows? What do you think I should do?”

“Forget about him,” Katy says without hesitation. “He’s boring. It’s like hanging out with your parents.
Mr.
Rules
and
Responsibilities
apparently has jealousy issues, too, which is a major turn-off. There are other guys out there, you know.”

“If you’re talking about Spencer…”

Katy holds up both her hands. “I didn’t mention any names!”

Pickles jumps up on the couch and curls between the two of us. I stroke his neck. “I’m sorry about this whole mess, Katy. I know you worked hard to set up the party, and I was really having fun.”

Katy waves my concern away. “Christ, it’s not your fault you’ve got two assholes lusting after you,” she assures me.

***

Hours later, I’m lying wide awake in bed, staring at the rows of slates of the bunk above mine. I can hear Katy slumbering up there.

I wish I could fall asleep, but my mind is on overdrive. I can’t stop thinking about what I’m going to do with Andrew and Spencer.

I’m not a virgin, but one terrible experience in boarding school made me avoid sex ever since. I can’t do what Katy does. I wish I were different, and I admire her courage, but I am not her.

For me, I have to really know a person, and
really
trust him, before exposing my most vulnerable self.

That’s
the reason I have to make it crystal clear to Spencer—and to Andrew—exactly where things stand between us.

Chapter Fifteen

I spot Katy in the cafeteria at a table. She waves me over. I motion to her that I have to grab some food, first. She smiles and nods, then returns to her conversation with the people around her.

“Hey guys,” I say as I sit down. I recognize all of Katy’s friends at the table. Monica and Jamie are on either side of me, while Tracy, Lauren, and Emma crowd around Katy on the opposite side of the table. Emma and Jamie both have their boyfriends with them.

“Hey, girlfriend, where you been?” Lauren asks. “We missed you at practice this morning.”

“I kind of overslept,” I admit. Lauren’s also on the swim team with me.

She laughs. “Coach is going to be pissed.”

“I know,” I sigh. “But he won’t hold it against me long, will he? I’d hate that.”

“With the times you’ve been putting up? Not a chance in hell.”

“Yeah, I hear you’re like a mermaid in the water,” Karl—Emma’s boyfriend—offers. “Still, I bet I can take you.”

In high school, Karl had been a varsity football, soccer, basketball, and baseball player. He was his state’s runaway all-star. He complains now about having to settle for “just” two sports in college. I know the coaches here fought tooth-and-nail to get him to pick their team.

“I don’t doubt it,” I laugh.

“What do you say, then? Are we on? I’d love to see you in a skimpy red bikini,” he winks.

“Karl!” Emma calls out, slapping his arm.

He grins at his girlfriend. “Just kidding, baby.”

“Uh-oh,” Katy says, kicking my foot beneath the table. “Looks like somebody’s here for you.”

I turn around to see where she’s looking and spot Spencer right away. He’s standing at the entrance of the cafeteria, scanning the tables.

“Damn!” I spin around and duck down. “Do you think he saw me?”

“He’s coming over now, so I’d say there’s a good chance of that, yeah,” Katy says.

“Is he bugging you?” Karl growls, cracking his knuckles. “I could get him to stop. Just say the word.”

Apparently, Karl’s girlfriend had a fling with Spencer before he and she got together. He’s held a grudge against Spencer since.

“You’re sweet,” I smile at him. “But I’m fine. I can deal with Spencer myself.” I stand up—and am caught completely by surprise when I bump into a hard body behind me.

“Hello there,” Spencer grins, looking down at me. “This feels… nice.”

I push him away with both my arms. He laughs. “I was just looking for you,” he continues. “Hello, girls.
Karl
.”

Karl grunts and stabs at his food, pointedly ignoring Spencer.

“Hi, Spencer,” Katy coos sweetly.

“Looking hot as always, babe,” he smiles at her. I make a disgusted sound in my throat.

“You said you were looking for me?” I remind him.

“Yeah. I wanted to talk.”

“Not here,” I say, pulling him away. When we’re far from the vicinity of the table, I turn to face him. “Well?”

“How’s the other guy doing?” Spencer asks.

“Pfft. What do you care?”

“His lip got busted pretty bad last night.”

“That’s your fault!”

Spencer shakes his head. “No. He got an elbow in the face when they started to break us up.
I
didn’t hurt him.”

I cross my arms. “So?”

“So, I wanted you to know that. I’m not all bad.”

“You did your part egging Andrew on,” I point out.

Spencer makes a face. “I wasn’t going to stand there and take his insults, if that’s what you mean. But I didn’t want to fight. You saw who pushed who first.”

“You could have ignored him,” I say.

“Not with all those people watching. No fucking way. You said it yourself. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“So if it were just you, me, and him…?” I begin, skeptical.

“Then, I wouldn’t have fought him. Wasn’t much of a fight, anyway. He went down easy. I was never really trying to hurt him. I just had to put on a show for the crowd.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s so considerate of you, Spencer.”

He laughs. “I could have done some serious damage if I had wanted to. My stepdad wouldn’t be happy about it though, I’d bet.”

That is the first time he’s brought his parents up. “What does your stepdad have to do with any of it?” I ask. “And what’s up with you and Andrew? You guys clearly dislike one another.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Spencer says, pushing away a lock of my hair with his thumb. “That’s old history.”

I take his hand with both of mine and pull it down, away from my face. “Spencer, you can’t keep on like this. I’m not getting together with you. I know all you want is a one night stand. I’m not that kind of girl.”

“Hmm,” he intones, thoughtful. He turns the bracelet over on my wrist. “You’re still wearing this, though.”

“That’s because I can’t figure out how to take the damn thing off!” I tell him, exasperated.

For a split-second, I think that his mask breaks, and his face falls. But it must have been my imagination, because the next instant Spencer chuckles. “If you really wanted to, you could have cut the strap.”

I grunt. “Come on. Even I can appreciate that someone put effort into making it.”

“That’d be me,” he reminds me. Then he shrugs. “If you want to take it off, this is how you do it.” I watch as his fingers take hold of the two roses, pull them together, twist them a little and yank them apart.

The bracelet springs free.

He places it in my hand. “You keep it, though. In case you change your mind.”

He turns and starts to walk away, alone.

I know I must look like a huge bitch to him. I hate that.

I hesitate, and then call out his name. “Spencer! Wait.”

He stops and slowly turns around. There’s a knowing glimmer in his eye. “Yes?”

“I don’t… I don’t hate you, all right?” I heft the bracelet in my hand. “I know you can be a sweet guy. I’m just not the person you think I am. I’m not right for you.”

He smiles and walks back to me. “And what if I’m not the person that
you
think I am?”

“I… I don’t know, Spencer.”

“You haven’t given me a chance yet. Let me show you my world. Let me show you what I’m all about. I promise, I’m not as crude as you think.”

When I don’t answer right away, he laughs. “I also promise I won’t try to get into your pants, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

My cheeks burn a little. “Okay,” I agree. “Fine, let’s do it. Who knows? Maybe we can still be friends.”

Spencer sticks his hand out. “Shake on it,” he prompts.

I smile and take his hand. When his fingers wrap around mine, that familiar spark of electricity—that jolt I know can’t mean anything good—shoots through me again.

Spencer gives me a secret grin. “It’s on.”

***

My phone buzzes just as I step out of the shower later that night. It’s a message from Spencer.

Him
: Got ur # from Kate. Free tonight?

Me
: 2mrw. HW takes priority now.

Me
: *snore* text me when you turn exciting ;)

I smile as I turn my phone off. Spencer can be kind of cute when he tries.

Chapter Sixteen

I wake up Sunday morning before Katy and go downstairs to check the mail. I haven’t set up direct deposit yet, so I’m still waiting on my first paycheck the old-fashioned way.

There’s nothing for me in the mailbox. But, there’s a small brown cardboard box for Katy. The stamps on it tell me it came all the way from Europe. There’s no return address, which is a little strange.

I don’t want to be nosy, so I set down Katy’s package in front of our bedroom door without looking any closer. I figure she’ll see it when she wakes up.

I have a few hours to myself before work. I take the opportunity to do the chores I’ve been neglecting all week. I finish the cleanup of the living room from Friday’s party, then lug the heavy laundry basket downstairs to the washer. I watch another episode of
True Blood
while I wait for the machine to finish.

Katy is still sleeping when I get back. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head for the pool. Spencer texts me on the way.

Him
: What time tonight?

Me
: 5? Maybe 6? I have work.

Him
: Meet you in the middle. 5.30. Your place.

***

Swimming classes go by quickly. Andrew picks Jordan up before I’m done with my kids. The only acknowledgment I get from him is a brief nod. Things are still awkward between us after Friday.

I get back to my apartment with my hair still wet. Katy’s lying on the couch, fiddling with her phone.

“How was work?” she asks without looking up.

“Pretty good,” I tell her.

“I noticed you cleaned the place. Thanks. You should have waited for me, though. I could have helped.”

I shrug. “It’s no big deal. What was in the package?”

“What package?” Katy asks.

“Um, the one I left by your door?”