NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (16 page)

“Vaun, we are taking in water.” He stops momentarily and looks down seeing the water level. He then does something I want to kill him for … instead of splashing, he propels us the couple of feet that lies between their canoe and ours until we clash with a loud clunk and jerk. “This is not a smash up derby!” Vaun laughs and launches himself into Carter’s boat, tumbling into a heap and pushing my canoe back.

This time it’s me who screams. I scream so loud April should be proud of my banshee moment. I’m clasping the edges of the canoe so hard my hands hurt, but it still doesn’t stop the rocking. Yup, I’m gonna kill him; brutally and bloodily.

I’m not sure how it happened, but the canoe is tipping to the side and I scream again.

“Stop screaming you dumbass and help me in.” April growls from the water. It works, because my screams come to a sudden halt and I’m grabbing her arms and dragging her in with me. Quite obviously I’m not as agile or strong as Vaun who made this look way easier and less painful.

By the time I get April and myself safely back into the canoe I have nail marks in my arms and she has scratch marks from her breasts down to her knees. We are on our backs, our chests heaving with need of oxygen and rest. We must lie there for ages before we glance at one another and abruptly begin to laugh.

Her hair is wet, but little strands around her face are quickly drying in the sun, flinging wildly in the breeze. She fights it to one side swearing until she has it somewhat in control and I stifle more laughter. God my belly and cheeks hurt so much. It’s a good hurt though and I love it.

“Jesus,” she cries, patting down her hair as another gust comes through the valley. I like it; it cools and refreshes my hot skin that’s not used to this weather or wearing a bikini. “I think I’ll put mine up, too,” she says nodding toward me indicating my bun which is hanging quite loosely now.

“It makes you look hot with it whipping around wild like,” I say and she purses her lips.

“Well he better be gripping this hair in passion later or I might just explode and cut it off.”

I know she’s full of it. She loves her hair and from what I walked in on yesterday morning, I have a feeling my cousin is more talk than action. Either way, I respect her a whole lot more and I suspect Carter does, too.

She continues, leaning toward me. Her face is serious and I know the lecture before it’s out of her mouth and today I don’t need it. I want what she wants. I want a day of love, fun and friends before I pull its foundation out tonight.

“Don’t worry,” I say, “I know and that’s not what I was thinking about.” Shuffling closer to her, my legs up on the edge of the boat with my head propped up. It’s not very comfortable, but at least I can see Vaun. I eye his back as he sits at the end of Carter’s canoe, fishing. I could look at that bonsai all day long, but April clears her throat, bringing my attention back to her. “Sorry. I can’t help it.”

“I honestly don’t blame you. What’s with that tattoo, do you know? I’ve heard girls ask about it, talk about it, guys the same, yet no one really knows.”

As the words make their way to my ears a sense of heaviness sits in my chest. I know what the tat is for. I feel the pain of Vaun’s loss and surprise that he would tell me before anyone else. My eyes fall upon him again and this time he gazes over his shoulder and winks at me. I smile and understand that Vaun has given me more than his trust; he opened his very soul to me while I shut him out like I don’t care. But I do care. I want him to have me, all of me. I just don’t want to lose him doing it.

I turn back to April and shrug. If I indicate I know anything, she will drill me until I’m in the core of earth with every secret divulged. “Who cares, tat or no tat I can’t keep my eyes off him,” I say. And it’s freakin’ true. The boy is fine.

“A-men to that, sister. Carter doesn’t have a tattoo yet and, I say yet, because he’s shown me the drawing of what he wants. But Harper, this isn’t what I want to talk with you about.”

Uh-oh. The last time I heard her this serious was when I told her I wanted to delay treatment another week. It didn’t go down well and she was right. I was being a dickhead. Her words, not mine.

“You know about his mom by now and I think it’s wrong to not tell him. I love you more than anyone, Harper, I do. But he needs to know.”

I sigh and nod. “I know. I decided that today I was going to have the best day of my life with Vaun as though it is our last, because it just might be after I tell him tonight.”

“Are you scared he’ll dump you?” She looks so sad and I feel it, too.

“Yeah. Not because he would be a douche. More so that he can’t deal with that kind of pain and suffering again and with the slim chances I have of survival. I don’t blame him; what he went through with his mom is heartbreaking.”

April’s hand grips my leg and I put mine over hers. “What you’ve been, and are about to go through, is heartbreaking, Harp. Besides, I’ve never gotten to know Vaun before because he always kept to himself or … well anyway, I look at him now and I see a guy who is in love. And if he does dump you, which I know he won’t ‘cause I’m knowledgeable in this area, I’ll kick his ass all the way to Kansas. Hell, I’ll kick it all the way to Australia.”

I smile, “It seems ridiculous that we feel those kind of feelings after a couple of days, but I do and I think he does, too. Now I’m scared of the heartbreak. Tonight he could turn his back on me and never speak to me again. I don’t know if I can survive that. Cancer, I can fight, the pain of him leaving me, I can’t.”

“I love you Harper Jane Kennedy, but sometimes you are as dense as a brick.”

I laugh despite her tone because it’s very April.

She sighs and continues, her eyes shining and I think she is on the brink of crying. “I don’t know what it is between you two, maybe it’s God, maybe not. Whatever has brought the two most sorrowful people together to fight this evil that’s attacking your body believes in the power of true love. Blind Freddy can see that he loves you and you him so don’t bother hiding it or pretending it’s something it’s not. It is what it is, Harp. Take it and breathe it in while you have it. We see too much loss not to take advantage of something so important and you should know that better than anyone. You hear me?”

She swipes her cheek and I’m at a loss. I haven’t seen her cry before and it makes my erratic emotions peak.

“Jesus, woman. Don’t you cry. You’re an ugly crier,” she say’s laughing, kissing my cheek and thumbing my eyes almost painfully until I splutter a laugh and, more than likely, spit all over her. But it works and my tears are no more. “That’s better. Now give me a hug.”

She wraps me in her arms and I grip her tightly. “I love
you
, April Gillespie. I love your freakin’ guts.”

“I know. It’s a curse.”

We are hugging and laughing when Vaun and Carter pull up beside us. Vaun is holding up a fish and I have to say it isn’t as nice as I thought it would look. I pictured shiny silvers or bright golds — not brown, and I scrunch my face. I’m not a fan of fishing if they look like that.

“Lunch,” Vaun states, jiggling his catch and water flicks toward me and I scream like one of those girls again. I really hate that he has me doing that.

The three of them chuckle at me, even April. Well, they can laugh all they like; I’m not touching that fish. So instead I grab an oar and I start digging into the water.

“Where ya going?” Vaun laughs.

“Harper!” April squeals in laughter. As for Carter, who I’ve noticed is a boy of few words, he’s laughing so hard he’s coughing.

April is still laughing and, to be honest, I’m laughing too as she grabs the other oar and helps me get out of the spin I seem to be maneuvering. Before I know what we have started, Carter and Vaun are on our tails and gaining fast. I’m laughing so damn hard my arms are tired, but I’m only a foot or so from the pier. I want to win and by April’s screams of ‘GO, go!’ I can see she does too.

I think we just might make it to the pier first and I glance backward to see the boys grinning. They have stopped paddling and my arms drop their speed despite April’s protests.  The Canoe slides up close to the pier when suddenly I’m being splashed. No, not splashed, but sprayed. April’s banshee squeals are at their best and I’m dazed. Without thought I move. Yup, I try to dodge the spray of water directed at me from Footy and Travis and their oversized super-soakers and before I know what I have done, the world is tipping and my scream is swallowed by the cool water. Bubbles are everywhere and I’m not even aware I’m laughing until Vaun’s hands are around me and we both surface. My laugh and his mingle together like they’ve been doing this dance for lifetimes. I’m kicking and wiping the water from my eyes.

I didn’t even know he went in after me, but I love him so for his chivalry and then he goes and shakes his hair and does that flick that I have fallen in love with. I really don’t think he knows how beautiful he is.

He brushes the stray strands of hair from my face and kisses my laughing mouth until I kiss him back before we’re drowned by one big splash.

Laughter bounces off the sides of the boats, the pier and the water, echoing in my ears. Footy suddenly bobs up from beneath the surface and laughs boisterously beside us.

“Cannonball?” Vaun asks, chuckling and dragging me with him away from the boats into the open water, presumably so we wouldn’t be ‘bombed’ again.

“You know it,” Footy replied heading for the canoe I had tipped, which by miracle is still afloat.

The music from the shore gets louder and three girls stand on the pier, their arms linked, as they call out “One, two … three!” They scream the last digit until the water swallows them up. It’s not until I hear screams and splashes, laughs and music that I begin to realize what a sheltered life I had been living. Vaun still has his arms wrapped around me when he is smacked in the back of the head with a blow up ball. It makes the slight dong sound and he looks so stunned I can’t help the burst of laughter that erupts.

The ball is floating idly around us. Vaun backhands it and, had it been a normal ball, I bet it would have flown across the pond. Instead, it makes that dong sound and hits the water near a bunch of boys that look suspiciously quiet.

“Vaun. I think you should go kick their asses. I’ll go up on the pier and try to dry out and relax.”

His eye’s lowered and his lips pursed. “Are you trying of get rid of me already?”

I scoff. “No. I just think if we are going to have any peaceful time together today, then you are going to have to make an example of those who ruin it. Got me?”

He pecks me on the lips making me giggle and I can’t believe in the space of almost three days he has me resorting to giggles, squeals and a belly that flips. These things I didn’t do before. Ever.

“Oh yeah, I get ya. But let me see you to the pier first and then I’ll take our revenge. Later though, we
will
get a swim together, ‘K?”

Note to self; he is the best boyfriend ever and I don’t deserve him, but I’m not going to tell him I think so because he really doesn’t need a bigger head than he already has. He’s way too encouragable. “Okay.”

I do a nice breaststroke to the back end of the pier with Vaun beside me. I try to not look at him, but in the corner of my eye I can see his cheeky grin. Oh, he knows I can’t help myself and he’s enjoying it.

We both tread water as we reach the ladder and he’s waiting for me, but I’m not that silly. My ass has been exposed to that boy way too many times already.

“You first,” I say tilting my head toward the ladder.

He chuckles and his brows rise. “Don’t trust me?”

“Not with my butt in your face. No.”

This time he laughs hard and the sound vibrates off the water and under the pier. Have I mentioned how much I love his laugh? Every time I hear it, and it’s a lot, my heart flutters like a butterfly. Probably not a healthy reaction; my heart might not make it under his constant laughter and love, but it’s worth it.

“Smart move,” he replies and climbs the ladder, giving me an eyeful of his delicious bottom as I blink past the water droplets that fall on me.

Standing above me, bent over holding his hand out to help me with the baby blue sky behind him has me sighing. He is so beautiful and I don’t want this day to end.

  There’s four rungs and my foot finds the bottom one with ease. What wasn’t as easy or sleek was heaving myself from the water and not realizing the abrupt weight change. I didn’t fall off or topple, but I did groan until I took Vaun’s hand and he heaves me up with ease and into his arms. His wet, strong arms.

My mouth is a breath from his slick collarbone and that need to lick him is making me ache — ache where I shouldn’t be aching in public.

Clearing my throat I take a step back and it’s worse. Water is running down his neck, chest and, oh lordy, I think my belly took off to the moon. It’s floating in orbit and I’m lost in the drops of water that run into his shorts. Yep, I just turned into a hot-blooded, horny teenager.

“Right this second, what are you thinking? No lies,” he says, his voice hoarse. My eyes find his and I’m about to use a pass when I see his amused expression, the actual twinkle in his eyes.

He knows
exactly
what I was thinking so there is no point in using a pass; he has called me on my perversion and enjoyed my awkwardness. “What it would be like to follow one of those beads of water with my fingers.”

“And?” he urges, taking a small step closer. He’s too close already for this kind of conversation. We haven’t spoken about intimacy levels yet. I know he wants me and I want him, but to voice it is another thing entirely.

“
And
I think I am turning into a fully-fledged horny teenage girl who can’t stop looking at a hot body, thinking about him all the time and wanting to touch him when she shouldn’t.”

He reaches out, the back of his hand brushing my ribs, heading north until they were almost touching my breast and I shudder.

“I’m a girl who apparently cannot control her reactions when such boy touches her, either.”

Vaun takes the final small step that I had only moments ago divided us with. His wet and, shall I mention, firm body is against mine. He seems so calm while I’m breathing like I have a collapsed lung.