NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (15 page)

              Do I care when he pulls me from the seat, where I have no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist, and he smashes his lips against mine? Hell No! If I can get this kind of reaction from him, I’m going go all out pro on his ass.

              It is only because the wolf whistles and shouts from the group waiting for us that Vaun slowly pulls his lips from mine and I bury my head in his neck.

              Okay, so I care just a little bit.

              “Sorry,” he whispers in my ear and I can hear how genuinely sorry he is. I don’t want him to feel sorry and regretful. Life is too full of regrets and I don’t want to be one of his. I meet his eyes and I smile. My hands run up from where they’re wrapped around his neck, up into his hair and
I
kiss him.

              Wolf whistles, grunts and all the excited whoops come flying and I know we are putting on quite a show. I know they’re talking about us and probably judging me and, quite frankly, I couldn’t care less. I’m a prisoner to Vaun’s heart and I’ll always put myself out there for him. That’s my oath and I’ll live by it until my last breath.

              I feel his smile against my lips and my kiss moves to his cheek and then just below his ear before I lower my feet to the dry grass. “I think we’re even now,” I say and push from his hold, turning to retrieve my bag from the truck floor. I hear him chuckle and he retrieves our cooler from the truck bed. Taking my hand, together we bravely head to the group of eyes that are glued to our every move.

              “So, this is the girl I’ve been hearing about,” the guy with a shirt wrapped around his head says. I feel the pulse of heat in my cheeks, but at least my blood rush won’t go noticed since my cheeks were already on fire.

              The girl from yesterday, Sarah, backhands him in the stomach. “Jesus, Trav, did Mom drop you on your head or something? What part of ‘back off’ don’t you get?”

              I stifle my laughter as he shrugs his shoulders, rubbing his makeshift turban-thing. The guy is cut, it seems most of the guys around here are except for Footy, but Travis doesn’t seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. I guess looks are more his asset.

              “It’s okay,” I say. It’s not like I don’t know that being the new girl isn’t going to bring some attention, not to mention the show back there near the truck. There’s really no hiding after something like that. Most of the group begin to make their way to the water’s edge and the rope swing, as they’ve seen enough for now.

              “I’m Travis,” he says, holding his hand out for me.

I have to let Vaun’s hand go to shake his and it’s only politeness that wins out or I wouldn’t stray from his touch. “Harper.” I shake and smile and smile and shake some more before Vaun clears his throat. Travis finally lets go of my hand with a sheepish expression and I return to Vaun’s hand.

“Well, I better load up before Sarah throws my beers overboard. Nice to meet you.” He then jogs down the wharf after his sister while Carter and April emerge from behind Carter’s SUV with a fishing rod and a Styrofoam box of bait in hand.

              “Finally,” April moans as she hugs my side. “What happened to you two? One minute your truck is right behind us, the next―”

              “April,” Carter steps in, God bless him. “Come let me show you the best spot on the pond to get that tan you want on your …” He grabs her hand and tugs her toward the edge where another canoe is moored. She gasps before smiling back at me.

              “See you, honey.” She waves and then giggles as Carter tugs on her arm again.

“Yeah,” I call after her.

“She seems more accepting of us today. Did you say something?” Vaun asks quietly, seemingly anxious.

“I guess she can see I’m happy and that’s all that matters for now.” At some point I’m sure she’ll be more worried about Vaun than me at the end of all this, because if the shit does hit the fan, I’ll be in the ground leaving her to pick up Vaun from the duplicity, anger and loss. “Come on, skipper, take me to sea.” I wink at him and he kisses me quickly before we head down to the water.

He laughs and stops before I make it two steps. “Not that way,” he says and I look at him questioningly. “That way,” he nudges with his head and I look at what he is referring to, seeing the rope swing and I choke.

“No way!”

***

My arm is getting tired holding the rod. It’s not heavy, but I tire a lot lately. Tired I may be, proud I know what a rod is, definitely.

I had to get him to bait my line, which was absolutely out of the question for me, and let’s not even talk about throwing it. When he said ‘cast your line’ I looked at him like he just asked me to fly his Battlestar ship. He laughed at me and told me to throw it. Now, I know he didn’t mean it literally, but for some ungodly reason that’s exactly what happened. I’m not sure how or why, but my hand allowed the rod to slide right out of it. It was like it was in slow motion and I still could do nothing to stop it. I gasped. He cried out ‘no’ and then he laughed so hard his face was bright red. It’s at this moment I am faced with the dilemma of laughing it off or wanting to die. I realize I can do both.

“What do I do now?” I ask, laughing as I notice a couple of others saw what I did too and they are laughing.

“I’ll go in and get it if you if you try the swing, just once.”

All laughter ceases, blocked by fear and betrayal. “You promised you wouldn’t ask me to go on the swing again. You promised.” Okay so betrayal is probably a strong word in this instance, but when he suggested we use the swing before and I saw how high it started I knew I couldn’t do it. Even though he was adamant I could. In the end I begged for him not to make me use the swing and he gave in.

He puts his rod on the ground and stands so close to me that his heat is radiating with my own and he takes my arms in his hands. “I would never break a promise to you, Blue. Never. I said I wouldn’t make you do something you didn’t want to, I said I would stand by you no matter what you did, whether you did or did not choose to swing. Whether you did or did not want to call me your boyfriend. To me, both are not a risk, but for you they are, so I get that. But I never promised I wouldn’t ask you again because I will always ask you to take risks and live life to the fullest. Whether it be swinging through the air from a rope and trusting yourself to let go at the right time. Whether it be kissing me in front of our friends. Whether it be letting me in. They are all risks and I will always ask you to take a chance.”

Dear-God-who-is-in-heaven, Vaun doesn’t know that what he is saying rings more truth than intended and I want to cry. There’s a pain in my throat and I’m fighting the tell-tale sign of a wobbly chin. I want to do everything he is asking me to do. I want to live and risk and chance and … love. So I take a massive steadying breath until my lungs close the door and not one iota of oxygen can fit and I let it out slowly. “Ask me again and I swear you won’t be disappointed.”

He’s a little taken aback and he squeezes my arms. His smile begins to grow and so does mine. “Will you call me your boyfriend?”

Gah. That’s not the question I was referring to and he knows it. He laughs quietly and I realize that it doesn’t matter. I want him to be my ‘boyfriend’ more than almost anything. There’s only one thing that I want more, but that is out of my hands. This is not. I know he might take back this privilege when I tell him of my illness, but in the meantime I think we can have the dream. “Yes.”

His eyes grow wide and his smile wider.

“But,” I say and he slouches. “But only if I don’t have to go on the swing. You can’t have both and the swing quite frankly scares me more than spiders, snake and bears all rolled into one.”

“That’s one scary-ass animal when you roll all of them into one.” His grin is so big I’m betting it kills because I know mine does. My cheeks are so damn sore.

“Yuck it up, cowboy, because now that we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend you, can’t make fun of me.” He chuckles a little, shrugs and then, before I know what’s happening his hands are on my ribs and he’s lifted me off the ground. I squeal enough before my lips meet his and then we are in the air before being swallowed by the chill of the water.

I hug him tight, squeezing my eyes closed. I trust Vaun with my life and when we break the surface with my legs still wrapped around his hips and my mouth tucked into his neck, he is seeking my mouth again and I want it too. Kissing Vaun is like nothing I have ever experienced and I’m so addicted now, it’s frightening to think about. So I don’t. I just kiss him and lose myself within the feel of his water covered lips. Oh my God, my body wants to become one with his. There isn’t a millimeter between us and yet we strive to be closer.

If it weren’t for the need of oxygen, we would probably never part. Damn lungs! Though Vaun doesn’t let me go; he is gliding us out further away from the pier and, I guess, prying eyes. I don’t know if anyone is watching. Pfft, probably a lot of them are watching, yet I don’t frigging care. All I care about is Vaun.

As he glides us further away I look at our surroundings, the hills, the sky. Everything. It’s large and beautiful and open and I think I’ve just decided I want to live here. Right here, on the edge of this very pond and watch the boy I love grow and fish for our meals and strip his tee off like he has no idea how freakin’ hot he is. That last one is the clincher on the deal.

I know this is Footy’s property, but I want it. Okay, so that’s a little unreasonable. Hell, today, I’m unreasonable and I don’t care.

“I love it here,” I say dreamily.

“That’s ‘cause you didn’t grow up here. You’d probably want to get the hell away if you did.” His voice is so sad and I kiss his wet neck again, sucking on the water. Hot and a little naughty and I do it again because I like it.

“Blue. Keep that up and I’m gonna get in trouble.”

I giggle because I know exactly what he’s talking about and I love that I can do that to him. He may be right about living here and what-not. But he doesn’t get that I lived in the city where I felt like I was a stranger to my neighbors. We didn’t have ponds in our backyards where our friends could come and relax. We were either rich and had pools or we were poor and went to the local public pool where you were crammed in like Guppies in a glass jar. The scent of earth and home cooking is starting to warm my blood after a week here. At home all you smell is either hot asphalt or rain. The only time I could smell food was when someone would bring take out.

Sure, I cooked for Benny, Dad and myself but it was simple and nothing that required more than thirty minutes or a microwave. Selling the apartment to pay for the medical bills and then moving here is like moving to a different world. We’ve got jack all money but were still able to get a pretty nice house for a fraction of the mortgage back in Seattle and now I’m falling heavily in love with a boy who possesses everything, but wants nothing but love and his mother’s nursery. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my home back in the city. I belonged there, grew up there, had friends there, a life, even a job teaching infants to dance at the studio I learned in. I was close to everything and all my friends were in the same boat.

Being here with Vaun and his friends in this beautiful place, feeling the freedom of what a family with money could bring is a little overwhelming and scary. Now I’m wondering what Vaun is doing with someone like me. I come from a family that’s barely getting by because the mountain of medical bills just keeps growing. I’m everything wrong for Vaun, yet it’s like we’re pulled together by magnets. As much as I try or will myself to turn from him, it’s almost painful to even think about let alone do it.

“Harper Kennedy, stop that right this minute.” April giggles as her canoe almost rams us. They have towed the other canoe out behind them and Vaun grabs it while I swim a safe distance so I don’t head-butt the plastic. The chill of the water where our bodies were together makes me shiver. I miss him immediately.

Bah! How pitiful is that? I’m a love sick teenage girl. I never thought I’d be one of those. I never thought I’d be a lot of things, yet with Vaun it’s like ‘never’ is a dirty word.

Vaun drags himself over the edge of the canoe and throws his leg over. My body is so tense it almost aches as it looks like the canoe might topple over and take him with it, but before I know it, he’s in and he is waving for me to follow.

He has gotta be kidding right?

Wrong!             

“Come on, it’s easy. I’ll pull you up.”

It’s not until you are close to a canoe do you realize how high they are out of the water and how impossible it is to get in with either grace or style. Vaun’s hanging over the edge and I kick my legs, trying to get some elevation for him to help me.               All the while the canoe looks like it’s about to tip.

Stupid squeals are coming from my mouth and Vaun, April and Carter are laughing. Well, Vaun is laughing and grunting as he pulls me into the small boat that I now hate with a passion. No one but Vaun could look hot getting into a boat from the water. Me, not so much.

I’m breathless and on top of Vaun who is breathing a little hard amongst his chuckling and I find enough strength to slap him.

“Shut up,” I say and he laughs harder making me bounce a little. I can feel the hot sun beaming on my back and honestly I could have lazed there longer, maybe even all day, had Carter not rammed us with his canoe. April’s scream echoes across the water and vibrates against the insides of our canoe wall, making Vaun and I cringe. I squirm up, cringing more as the canoe rocks against my uncoordinated movements. Vaun is up fluent and fast, grabbing one of the oars and digging it into the cool depths, splashing it all over Carter and April. If I thought April’s scream was loud before I’d have to say I completely underestimated her. The girl could break glass.

Me, on the other hand, am laughing too damn hard to even breathe, let alone squeal and shout out the profanities. I leave that to the boys as we are soaked in water propelled from Carter’s oar.

There is so much water in the bottom of our boats, I’m coming out of my euphoria and beginning to get worried. How much can a canoe take before it begins to sink?