Never Enough: The Vipers MC (17 page)

“I won’t go down as the president who got half his crew killed. I won’t be another Axel.” I got up, looking out the window. “I’ll find this son of a bitch, and I’ll make him pay for what he’s doing.”

My phone rang. I was tempted to ignore it, but I didn’t wanna miss anything from Jess. When I saw her name on the ID, I held up a hand for quiet. “Hello?”

Silence. Then, “Grayson?” A small, scared little voice. It felt like the bottom dropped out of my world.

“David? What is it? What happened?”

Chapter Twenty

Jess

By the time I finished telling the whole story, Tony’s mouth hung open.

“Holy shit, Jess. Holy shit!” He held his head in his hands. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why did you let him think you left him because you didn’t love him anymore?”

“Because it was the only thing I could do.” I had to make him see. “Honestly, do you think he would have let me go if I had told the truth? Do you think if I had stayed and told the truth, he wouldn’t have gone after whoever it was on the phone? I didn’t know who the Vipers tangled with in those days. I didn’t have the slightest idea how to take care of it myself. So I left. I had to protect him. And I had to protect the baby, too.”

“What if this guy had killed him after you left?”

“Tony, I told you, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was pregnant. I had just found out. I had to make a choice. Besides, at the time I thought, what if I’m gone? Whoever this is won’t have anything to use against him anymore. I wouldn’t be a pawn. Just something to hurt Grayson with. If I told him, he would have gotten himself killed along with me. There was no other way out of it.”

Tony looked sick. “All this time. And it was okay with you, knowing how much he would hate you when you left?”

I nodded. “I had a lot of time to think it over, Tone. Years. I knew he hated me, but I knew he was better off without me if it meant he could stay alive. It sounds corny, but that’s the only thought that’s kept me going. Knowing that I did it for the right reasons. I had to protect the men I love.” I shrugged.

“You have to tell him now. You’ve gotta.”

“I’ve gotta do no such thing. I didn’t tell you so you could guilt me into telling him. I told you because I thought you were my friend, and I had to get it off my chest. I wanted somebody besides me to know the whole truth. It’s a lot to keep to myself, you know?”

“Great, now I have to keep it to myself. You know I was never good with secrets, Jess.”

I smiled. “Try, okay? Discipline yourself a little bit.” He made a face, and I giggled. Then I stopped, fear tugging at my heart. “Do you think he’ll come back, whoever he is?”

Tony looked at me with a frown. “Who, this caller? I don’t think so. Grayson doesn’t have no enemies now. The club’s free and clear. Axel’s gone, all the bad blood is good. It’s been a good three years.”

“Just the same, I have to wonder if I’m not bad luck to him, somehow. If the person who called me all those times were watching me…what if they found out we got back together? Not saying we’re back together right now or anything, but what if it happened? What if they wanted to hurt him, still, after all this time?”

“Then we’re dealing with a pretty sick cookie. I can’t imagine who would do something like that.” He shrugged. I wanted to take his word for it. I wanted to so badly. I needed to hang on to some sort of hope that Grayson and I could be a family with our son.

“I don’t know how much longer I should let David sleep,” I said, glancing at the clock on the cable box. “It’s almost three-thirty. He’ll be up all night.”

“And you don’t want that, do ya?” Tony winked at me. I scowled.

“You still have a dirty mind, I see.”

“And you still blush when you’re embarrassed.” I couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t laughed so much in one afternoon since I didn’t know when. Being around Tony again had given me a huge boost. I believed I could be happy with Grayson again. I believed we could forgive each other for the past. I believed we could be a family.

“You hungry?” I got up from the couch, walking to the kitchen. “There’s a bunch of empty boxes in the cabinets, but I could probably find you something. Or we could order.”

“I remember the first time I ever came over here, and I was so happy because I thought Grayson had Cinnamon Life cereal in the cabinet. Empty box.” Tony shook his head.

I laughed. “It was like a cruel joke, right?” I shook my head at Grayson’s habits. There were some things he would just never grow out of.

Tony got up, stretching. “You look around. I’m gonna go take a piss.”

“Stay classy,” I muttered, going through the cabinets. There were a few cans in there, but I guessed they were past their expiration date. What the heck did he live on?

I heard a noise coming from the fire escape, and a first thought nothing of it—birds had been landing there all day, making noise, flapping their wings. Another, louder noise got my attention. I froze, my back to the window. A third noise, that of the window opening, spurred me to action.

I whirled around, a can of soup in each hand. I threw one at the first man who came through the window, missing him but hitting the glass. It shattered, hitting a second man who ducked to avoid getting cut. The second can narrowly missed a third man.

I reached around for a knife, but it was too late. I didn’t scream. I never screamed. I couldn’t risk having David come out to see what the trouble was. I would do anything, take any punishment without making a sound as long as it meant he would stay in his room. I struggled silently, kicking, punching, knowing Tony was only a room away.

He came rushing out when he heard the glass break, but there was nothing he could do. Two of the three men attacked him, hitting him over the head with a tire iron. The man holding me had his hand over my mouth in a vice grip, like a metal band. I pried at his fingers, trying to open my mouth wide enough to bite him through his glove, but it was no use. I watched with a sinking heart as Tony crumpled to the floor, bleeding heavily. He didn’t move. Had I just watched my childhood friend’s murder? I let out a long, low sob from behind the hand clamped over my mouth.

“See that? You did that.” The voice was a whisper in my ear—a familiar whisper. I let out a small, soft cry as I realized who held me. It all came rushing back just as though it had happened yesterday. And we were just talking about it, weren’t we? I wanted to ask Tony if he was so sure of himself that there was nobody left who hated Grayson.

I heard laughter in my ear, cold and snide. It sent shivers down my spine. It didn’t sound human. “You were stupid to come back, Jess. You should have stayed away.”

I glanced in the direction of the guest room. None of them seemed to understand the significance of the closed door in the hall. Good. Let them think David wasn’t there. I didn’t want them to think about him at all.

“What, you didn’t think I knew you left? You didn’t think I kept an eye out to see if you would come back? I knew you wouldn’t stay away forever. You made it even easier than I ever thought to trap. All these years, and you came to me. I couldn’t believe it.”

What the hell was he talking about? I couldn’t ask, of course. I could only wait for him to reveal more to me. Maybe he didn’t mean to take me anywhere, or hurt me. Maybe he only wanted to send a message. I glanced down at Tony.
Message received
. I didn’t need any more incentive to get the hell away from Grayson before things got even worse.

I felt the hot breath of my captor against my ear. “Now that you’re back, I’ll have to do what I threatened to do all those years ago. I’ll have to kill you, and then I’ll kill Grayson. Don’t worry. You can be together in the afterlife.”

The thought of leaving my boy an orphan was enough to give me a second wind, and I fought for all I was worth against the arms of the man who held me tight. It was no use. He was just as strong as Grayson, if not stronger. I was no match for him.

“Let’s go,” the man said. His partners opened the door, looking both ways down the hall before waving us on. Stay in the room, stay in the room, stay in the room. It was all I could think as my captor dragged me through the front door and down the hall to the stairs. I didn’t put up a fight anymore—all I cared about was getting away before David showed his face. I didn’t care what they did to me. He had his father to care for him. I couldn’t bear it if they saw him and took him along with me.

It wasn’t until my captor threw me into the trunk of a car that I started fearing for myself. Nobody would know what happened. Tony was probably dead. I was done for. Oh, God, please look after my little boy.

Meanwhile, my captor looked down at me, sneering. I took in his slightly paunchy build, his balding head, his dark, empty eyes. I could finally pair a face to the voice on the phone. A voice that had filled my nightmares, just as Grayson had filled my happier dreams.

“Hello, Jess,” he whispered. “My name is Nikolai Ivanov. But you know me as Joe Green.” The last thing I saw before he slammed the trunk shut was his cold smile.
 

Chapter Twenty-One

Grayson

I couldn’t get my bike to move fast enough. Why the hell wouldn’t it go faster? And why wouldn’t everybody get the hell out of my way? Didn’t they know I was in a hurry?

I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t slow down. I couldn’t get the sound of David’s voice out of my head.

“I think they took my mama. They hurt Tony. Please come. The bad guys were here.”

The bad guys. Yeah, they were the bad guys, all right. Very bad. If I knew Nikolai was behind the whole thing, I wouldn’t have left them alone. Even with Tony. Hell, I would have gotten them out of town. Maybe out of the country. No wonder he wouldn’t leave her alone. No wonder it felt so personal. It was personal for him. Why, I never really knew. Why he couldn’t let it go. Why he couldn’t leave me alone. Why I hadn’t fucking killed him when I had the chance.

My fault. My fault. All my fault
. If I had just killed the son of a bitch when I had the chance. No, I left him there. Why? It would have taken two fucking seconds. Less than that, and he would’ve been out of my life forever. Out of my family’s life. They didn’t do anything do deserve it. Why was he back? Why did he have such a hard-on for me and the people I loved? I would think he’d give me a fucking break since I spared his life. I shouldn’t have. God, I shouldn’t have. I would never forgive myself for letting him live.

I roared, screaming into the wind as I rode faster than I ever rode on a crowded street in my life. Cars swerved out of the way for me, and I didn’t pay attention to the way they sounded their horns and yelled at me. They were nothing, less than nothing. It didn’t matter. I needed Jess. I needed to get to Jess.

I knew Spike and Marco were behind me. I didn’t know who else followed. I hoped there were enough to go with me to follow Nikolai—not that I thought I needed backup against him, but I didn’t know how many guys he had. If somebody had taken Tony down, there had to be a good number. He was a big guy. I had seen him fight off two, three men at once. I needed all the help I could get.

I was hardly in a parking space before I jumped off my bike and ran for the doors. My kid was in there. Alone with a guy who might have been dead.
Tony. What did they do to him?
I took the stairs two at a time instead of waiting for the elevator, my feet pounding down the hall as I ran for my apartment.

“David?” I shouted his name before I got through the door, and he ran to me. I picked him up, held him close. “Oh, thank God. Thank God you’re still okay. Where were you when it happened?”

“In the bedroom. I was taking a nap. I heard noise out here, and I got scared, so I hid under the bed.”

“Oh, smart kid. Smart boy. I’m so glad you did that. I know your mama would be, too.” Where had they taken her? I didn’t have the first idea. “Did you hear anything, David? Anything they said to her?”

He shook his head. I put him down, going to Tony. He was a mess, blood all over the floor. David cried a little, and I told him to look away. “It’s okay, buddy. He’ll be all right. It looks worse than it is.” I hoped I wasn’t lying to the poor kid. I didn’t know how bad it was or if Tony would ever wake up. Or if he would be the same guy when he did.

I held my fingers to the side of his neck. He was breathing, at least. I smacked his cheeks with the backs of my fingers. By that time, the others came in. I motioned for them to help Tony, while I went to David.

“My friends are gonna help me find your mama,” I said, crouching down so we were face-to-face. “And we’re gonna bring her home, okay?”

“Do you know where they took her?” he asked. I couldn’t lie to the kid.

“No, I don’t. But I’m gonna find out. I can promise you that.”

“How? How can you find out?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I admitted. “But I will. I’ll find a way. I would never let anything happen to her without trying my best to help her. I can promise you that, David.”

“Do you love her?”

I didn’t think twice before answering. “I do,” I said. “I love your mama very much. She means a lot to me.”

“To me, too.” I hugged him, felt the way his body shook. My kid. My boy. I wanted so much to tell him who I was to him, but I didn’t dare. He had been through enough already that day. I didn’t need to scar him for life by dropping that bombshell on him.

“He’s coming to.” I let go of David, told him to watch TV while I talked to Tony. I only hoped he could tell me something, anything at all.

“Hey, brother. What happened here?” I tried to keep my voice light for David’s sake, when I really wanted to ask him what fucking army he allowed into the apartment that they would be able to take my woman away like they did. If it was anything less than an army, I didn’t want to hear anything about it.

It took him a minute to get himself together. It looked like he couldn’t focus his eyes very well—and his head kept going back and forth like he couldn’t keep it steady. I wondered if he had a concussion. From the blood coming from his head, I wouldn’t doubt it.

“I’m sorry,” he said. It was the first thing he said when he finally spoke. “I’m so sorry, Grayson. It’s all my fault. I let it happen.”

I clenched my jaw and swore to myself that I wouldn’t take it out on him. It wasn’t his fault.

“You couldn’t stop it,” I said. “I know you tried.”

“I was takin’ a piss, man, and when I came out, they were already here. I guess they came in through the fire escape.” I looked over. That would explain why the window was open.

“There were two guys, and another one who held on to…” He trailed off. He didn’t want to say her name in front of David.

“Did they say anything? I mean anything at all?”

“No, man. They hit me in the head with somethin’ hard, and I went out. I did try, brother. You gotta believe me.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “I believe you. I know you love her. Don’t blame yourself for this. It’s all my fault.”

He frowned, and took the ice pack Marco put on the back of his head. What good that would do, I didn’t know, but I didn’t say anything.

“Why’s it your fault?” he asked. “You did everything you could.”

I looked at the guys, then looked at him. He didn’t know.

“The guys who came in here. Were they wearing masks or anything?”

“The one guy was. The one who had her. The other ones didn’t.”

I nodded. That made sense. “We found out earlier today who Joe Green is. He’s Nikolai Ivanov.”

It took Marco and me working together to keep Tony on the floor. He tried to get up the second Nikolai’s name was out of my mouth. “What are we doing hangin’ around here? We gotta go get her! He’s gonna…!” I could tell it took everything he had to shut up. We all knew what that animal was going to try to do.

“He won’t,” I said, staring at Tony. I kept my voice low so the kid wouldn’t hear. “He won’t, because I’m gonna stop him. I need you to keep it together, okay? I’m gonna have somebody take you to the hospital to get your head checked out.”

“No. No way I’m sittin’ in a hospital while you guys go out there and risk your necks.”

“I know you don’t want it this way, but this is how it’s gotta be. I’m sorry, brother, but that’s it. I don’t wanna lose you for some stupid bullshit reason like your brain swelled or some shit.” I didn’t even know if that was possible, but I was reaching at that point. I needed him to understand a guy in his condition couldn’t ride. He looked like he still had a hard time staying focused on my face.

I looked over at David. He was trying to be brave, the poor kid, but he wasn’t doing a good job of it. Spike sat next to him on the couch, asking questions about the cartoon they were watching. He tried hard to keep David upbeat, but it was a waste of time. He needed his mom. I needed her, too.

I motioned for Spike to get up so I could sit next to him. He moved a little closer to me, and I couldn’t help feeling good about that. He trusted me. I would need him to if we were gonna get through this together.

“Hey. Are you sure you didn’t hear them say anything? Any words at all? Even if you don’t think it’s important, it might be.”

“I really didn’t,” he said with a sigh. “I’m trying and trying to remember, but it’s not working.”

“I understand,” I said, patting him on the head. His hair was just like mine. I wanted so bad to tell him, even if it only meant making him feel less alone. Like he had somebody on his side still. A parent. She would kill me if I told him that way. I couldn’t go against what she wanted.

“Your mom’s phone is still here, on the table. Is there somebody I can call for you? I mean, somebody you could hang out with today, while we go and look for her?”

“Cindy. She was our neighbor.” I noticed how he used the past tense like he didn’t expect to go back to that apartment. Kids were so weird like that. They got used to things a lot faster than grown-ups ever did.

“You want me to call her? I can have her come here to keep an eye on you. I’ll leave one of my friends here, too, to keep you safe.”

“Why? I wasn’t safe before.” Smart kid. He didn’t look at me when he said it, and his voice was flat and dull. I wondered how badly we’d fucked him up over all this.

I couldn’t worry about it then. All I could do was think about how to find Jess. It had been almost thirty minutes since David called. Thirty minutes. Where would Nikolai take her?

I called Cindy using Jess’s phone and gave her a quick rundown. “Can you come?” I asked, giving her the address.

“Give me fifteen minutes.” She hung up without saying goodbye, just as scared as I was. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was. Terrified, actually. I knew the sort of things Nikolai could do.

“Grayson. I gotta tell you somethin’.” Tony motioned to me, wanted me to come closer. “Somethin’ Jess told me today. She didn’t wanna tell you, but I think she’ll forgive me if I do it.”

“What is it?” I leaned in.

“She didn’t wanna leave you, man. She was scared.”

“I know, she told me that.” Did he think I needed to hear it?

“You don’t know why, though. She was gettin’ phone calls from somebody threatening to kill her, and you.”

“What?” I knelt on the floor beside him. “Calls from who?”

“I didn’t know when she told me, but it all makes sense now. I’ve been sittin’ here thinkin’ about it. It must have been Nikolai. He was the only one back then who would do somethin’ like that, right?”

“What did he say to her when he called?”

Tony took a deep breath. “He said she had to get you to leave him alone, or he was gonna kill her. And if she told you, he would kill you, too.”

“Holy shit.” If I didn’t want to end his life before that, I sure as hell did then.

“And—just chill when I tell you this—he followed her to the drug store the day she picked up the pregnancy test. Or somebody did. He told her so.”

I had to leave the room. I went to my gym and punched the shit out of my heavy bag until sweat dripped down my face. I knew I was wasting time when I did it, but I needed to get the rage out of me or else I would lose it, and the kid would be even more scared. How could he? How could he scare her like that? He made her leave me. He ruined my marriage, the son of a bitch. He made her raise our kid alone and struggle and hide because she was too afraid he would kill us.

I went the bathroom to clean myself up before going back to the living room. In the back of my mind, a voice told me I was already thinking like a parent. Putting on a better face for my kid.

Cindy showed up. Cute, young girl who obviously loved David. He loved her back, running to her, telling her all about how his mama was missing. I tried to tell her as much as I could without freaking him out too much—I couldn’t get her alone since he wouldn’t let go of her. “We’re gonna go looking for her,” I said. “It’s the guy she borrowed the money from. We’ve got a history with him. So does she, but she didn’t know it. He changed his name.”