Nerd Girl (28 page)

His last text was a little over an hour ago, shortly after six. With trembling fingers, I typed in
“Yes, the invitation is still open,”
though it was probably too late. It was an olive branch and maybe if I didn’t see him tonight, we could still talk tomorrow. The possibility instantly made me feel more hopeful.

I knew I should feel angry that he went dark on me all week. I should be more furious that he had been so dishonest with me and that he’d put me in a difficult professional situation. I knew I should be angry about a lot of things with him, but I wasn’t. Instead, I shamelessly felt relief mixed with hope that we might actually be together.

I put my phone back into my clutch and turned the ringer back on. I immediately heard it chime again, notifying me that I had a new text.

Ryan:
Good - I’m here

I felt my pulse begin to race and my adrenaline was kicking in. Could I get involved with him again? If I do this, what sort of risks was I opening myself up to? A part of me wasn’t ready to face him yet and I just wanted to hide in this bathroom all night. The logical side of me said that I shouldn’t open my heart to him again so quickly, that I needed to protect myself, but I didn’t think my delicate ego would be able to handle another disappointment.

My heart told me to rush out and find him. He had done this incredibly romantic thing by coming here and surprising me; it took balls for him to risk humiliation and my wrath by coming. He didn’t know how I felt, or how this was all going to turn out. We both knew the ball was in my court.

I took a deep breath and finally exited the ladies’ room. As I headed back to the ballroom, I spotted Ryan pacing back and forth in the foyer only twenty feet or so away. He said he was here, for God’s sake, but I was still completely surprised to see him in the flesh. I momentarily froze, not sure what to do next.

He looked dashingly beautiful in his black suit and gray silk tie. I had no idea how much I had missed him until now. At that moment, he looked up and caught me watching him. He looked hesitant. His hands were tucked into the front pockets of his pants, which pushed his jacket off to the side behind his lower arms. He gave me a tentative, shaky smile. He looked so vulnerable.

After I recovered from my shock, joy at seeing him overwhelmed me. I let out a little gasp and started walking over to him. My first few steps were a normal pace, but then I picked up speed and started running to him before pouncing on him and jumping into his arms. He returned my hug with equal fervor and lifted me off the ground. I nuzzled my face into his neck and breathed in his familiar scent of fresh soap and aftershave. I couldn’t help it, but I started to cry.

After setting me down, he cradled my face with his broad hands. Looking intensely into my eyes, he kissed me. It was an epic, passionate, all-encompassing kiss. We kissed shamelessly, fiercely, our tongues hungry and urgent, hands roaming and re-discovering each other. It was the kind of kiss that every girl should have at least once in her lifetime. Surprising me by coming here was the most romantic thing that anyone had ever done for me.

When we finally released each other, we were both breathless and flushed. He gazed at me dazedly, his uncertainty mixed with affection, and brushed his thumb softly across my cheek to wipe away my tears.

“Is this okay with you? That I’m here?” he finally asked and I nodded. “You’re not mad at me then?”

I shook my head and spoke without thinking. “I don’t know.” He looked crestfallen until I added in a rush, “You know, I don’t care. I just want to be with you and I’m so happy you’re here.”

He gave me a shaky smile, but his blue eyes were intense. “God, Julia, I missed you so much. I am so sorry. It tore me apart thinking about how much you might’ve hated me after what I had done. I want to explain why I didn’t reach out to you this week. I know you probably thought—”

I interrupted him mid-sentence, kissing his lips to shush him. “I don’t need to know it all this minute. Your presence is enough for now. We’ll have plenty of time to talk later when we’re alone, or tomorrow.”

Kelli announced it was time to line up for dinner, but neither of us moved. We gazed into each other’s eyes, smiling contemplatively. Ryan chuckled with relief, bowing his head and shaking it. I sighed. We were both realizing that we’d each made the choice to be together. His presence here said that he had chosen me and I know he’d made some difficult decisions to be with me. I didn’t care anymore about holding him up to any moral judgment about what he did. I could continue to be angry with his deception and I had every right to be, but what was the point? I wanted to be with him more than I wanted to be right or wrong.

So I grabbed Ryan’s hand and smiled up at him, accepting what he was offering me; accepting his heart. “Are you sure you want to go in there with me?” I challenged.

“Absolutely,” he said firmly and pulled me forward.

Ryan and I hadn’t spent any real time together in almost two weeks. The physical chemistry and attraction between us was palpable. All evening, we were constantly touching, whether it was holding hands, his arm resting on my chair and touching my shoulder lightly, or his hand settled intimately and possessively on my waist.

Ryan played his part well. He charmed my mother and they talked real estate for a good twenty minutes at least. Ryan was looking into some investment property in the San Juan Islands that would also double as a vacation home and wanted to get my mom’s opinion. I think he was only being polite and trying to make conversation, but I adored him for wanting to gain my mother’s approval. Of course, her area of expertise was SE Bellevue, but that didn’t stop her from offering her opinion on vacation properties and trying to sound like the expert.

I caught her watching us frequently. She gave me only one knowing glance, which signaled her initial surprise, but it quickly turned to pleasure that Ryan had showed up.

As the night wore on, I became hyperaware of the way Ryan and I were interacting. A gentle touch on my hand or shoulder told me that he wanted to be close to me. He would glance over at me to share a laugh or to make sure I wasn’t left out of his conversation. Sometimes, while listening to others, he would just look at me and we would share a moment. I caught my mom watching us at least on one of those private moments. I thought I noticed a look of appreciation in her eyes, but also something I couldn’t quite put a place. Was it relief? Her shoulders seemed to relax over the course of dinner.

As for my dad, well, it looked like he had found his new entertainment buddy. He cornered Ryan, wanting to discuss the merits of MS’s popular gaming platform.

It was funny, but as an employee of MS, people always assumed that I knew everything about MS technology and software. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have anything to actually do with the technical development, deployment, or support of the software—it was the mere association of my name to the company that automatically made me an “expert.” So, with this same phenomenon, my dad proceeded to ask Ryan about the various gaming center capabilities and whether or not Ryan could help troubleshoot some of his setup and configuration issues. Of course, Ryan’s job had absolutely nothing to do with gaming capabilities or technical support issues, but he was so patient with Dad. He had a sincere discussion with my father about some of the more popular product features and even offered to come to my parents’ home to help with some of the setup and configuration. Surprisingly, Ryan knew more about this stuff than I would’ve guessed, but then again, he was a guy. Video games were like cars and stereo equipment—they all seemed to have some common language that I wasn’t aware of.

My parents had learned the other night that Ryan worked at MS, but they didn’t know the extent of Ryan’s position and influence there. Needless to say, they were impressed. Ryan was modest as usual, but with enough grilling from my parents, the breadth of Ryan’s responsibilities soon became clear. Being an executive at MS certainly fit the bill of good husband material.

Of course, it wasn’t lost on anyone that Ryan and I both worked for the same company. In the Puget Sound area, working at MS was viewed as a coveted job and a badge of success. As a couple, we would become almost a cliché; we would be viewed as the ultimate Seattle couple, successful DINKs (Double Income No Kids) working at Megasoft. If we were to get married, we would live in a turn of the century craftsman home in Queen Anne, drive luxury German cars, have two kids (a boy and a girl, of course), a dog, and a nanny. That definitely appealed to my parents, and, admittedly, to me.

I only half-listened to Ryan’s conversation with my parents; he was being such a good sport. As I observed them, I couldn’t help feeling a little smug and proud of my date. Honestly, how could anyone not like Ryan? He was charming, sexy, kind, brilliant, and confident.

After dinner, we did everything expected at a wedding reception. We laughed as Anna smeared cake on Ethan’s face. I nervously gave my maid of honor speech and when I finished and sat down to modest applause, Ryan kissed me chastely on the lips and looked at me adoringly. We danced the night away to Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, and other classic big band tunes.

I noticed Ryan was different tonight than any other time I had spent with him and realized that it was the first time he was completely unguarded with me. He didn’t hold back with his affections as I had sensed him do so often before. He was more talkative tonight than ever before, too. He no longer had anything to hide. We were now free to get to know one another better and to be completely open with each other.

My parents and their generation of friends and relatives retired around midnight, but the wedding party and some good friends of Anna and Ethan’s hung out for a while longer. At almost one in the morning, Anna and Ethan got ready to say farewell and head to their hotel room.

Before leaving, Anna came over and gave both Ryan and me a hug. When she hugged me, she whispered, “Julia, you should see the way he looks at you.”

I blushed and told her to not speak so loudly, but her comment made me feel warm and tingly inside. Ethan grabbed her hand to finally pull her away for the next part of their evening. She gave me a knowing smile before she left the ballroom with her new husband.

It went without saying that Anna was thrilled to see me walk into the ballroom holding Ryan’s hand. She was quite pleased with herself for having put aside a place setting for him at our table.

“Here, I have a souvenir for you.” I rummaged through my purse and handed him his name card.

He looked a little confused. “What’s this?” he asked.

“Anna included you in our seating arrangements. I couldn’t bear to throw it away, I guess.” I looked down at the card, remembering my earlier sadness.

“I’m glad you didn’t throw it away,” he said softly. He rubbed my hand gently with his thumb.

I knew his comment had double meaning and I have to admit that hearing him say it gave me a little thrill. I’m glad I didn’t throw it away, too. So glad.

He grabbed my name card from the table. “So, if you have my name card, then I’ll take yours. It’ll be our little party favor to remember from the wedding.”

“Aw
… Who knew Ryan McGraw was such a romantic?” I teased.

“Fine, give me my card. I’ll take both of them.” He actually pouted as he reached for the card between my thumb and index finger.

I pulled it away before he could grab it. “No! I want it!” I exclaimed with innocent alarm. I quickly hid it back in my purse before he could object.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed.

I noticed he had my name card in the pocket of his jacket for safekeeping. I did mean to keep it, though. I wasn’t going to scrapbook it or anything, just put it with my other miscellaneous keepsakes. You know, my high school class ring, my old diary key, concert ticket stubs
… that kind of “stuff” that wasn’t particularly important to anyone but me. I didn’t know if he would do the same; maybe he would take it out later and put it somewhere safe or maybe he would forget it was there until he took his suit to the dry cleaners.

For me, this was a night that I would never forget; not only because it was my sister’s wedding, but because this was the true start of my relationship with Ryan McGraw. Ten years from now (I’m assuming we would still be together), we would tell the story of tonight as the night Ryan and I chose to be together. Only time would tell if he’s the love of my life or if he’s
the one
(like Anna thought), but I knew that this was the start of something significant. I could feel it in my bones, in the butterflies in my stomach, and in the peace and calm of my emotions. Everything seemed right, for once. And Ryan’s name card was my memento.

The next thing I knew, Ryan was pulling me in close, his breath tickling my ear. “Can I take you home or do you have your car here?”

Why did that sound so sexy?
I got goosebumps from the warmth of his breath near my ear. “I’m staying here at the hotel tonight; everyone in the wedding party booked rooms.” I leaned into him and looked him straight in the eye, still sober enough to know exactly what I was about to do. “Stay with me tonight?”