Necessary Evil of Nathan Miller (22 page)

You promised. You promised you wouldn't
let them hurt me.

I struggled, not caring any more. Chris
couldn't keep his promise and I couldn't keep fighting. I'd make
them kill me instead.

"Oh shit! The knife dug too deep
because you couldn't hold her still. Now she's bleeding everywhere.
I must have caught a vein…we're out of time. She won't survive the
night, bleeding like that. Send Chris in here. Make sure he knows
where you've left the keys, so he can dump the body. Follow him and
call the police as soon as you can. We need him caught with
it."

When did I become a sexless thing you
could call 'it?'

"Yes, ma'am. What do you want me to do
with her?" Mike asked.

"Knock her out so I can finish. I only
need to cut one more letter."

Something heavy collided with my face
and darkness seeped into my head.

Part 69

When the sun had risen, I woke alone to
the sounds of Nathan speaking angrily with another girl. I pulled
on one of Nathan's sweaters and approached closer to investigate,
just in time to hear her call him a paedophile and me a child.

His sister. The one who's my age. She
must be. And that doesn't make sense. If he was a paedophile and I
was a child, he wouldn't have turned me down last night.

She repeatedly warned him away from me
as he protested, refused and defended me.

Inwardly, I cheered.

"Can't you put the coffee away when
you're done with it?" she muttered.

He mumbled something about leaving it
out for her.

"I don't drink decaf. You're the only
person I know who drinks coffee without caffeine in the mornings.
Where's the point in drinking coffee that doesn't do anything?" I
heard the clunk of glass on wood, before a cupboard door
slammed.

I wondered about Nathan and his
distaste for caffeine. The only people I knew who preferred
decaffeinated coffee had it in the evening, so they didn't have
trouble sleeping. But Nathan…oh! Nightmares and insomnia…of
course!

I waited for his reply, but the silence
stretched until she broke it, her words leaving me cold.

"Not a girl who’s been abducted. After
she’s been raped and God knows what else, the last thing she wants
is a man anywhere near her. Least of all you."

I needed to see Nathan's face, to see
if her words had any effect on him. Quietly, I stepped into the
doorway. Neither of them saw me for a moment.

A thinner, angrier version of Alanna
whirled around and started swiping at the bench with a pot-scourer.
I wondered if their laminate bench top would lose its surface
beneath her frenzied scrubbing. She stood with her back to me,
while I could see Nathan's profile as he watched her. He seemed to
have trouble forming a response, but he didn't look happy. He
rocked a little in his seat, like he was trying to exorcise a
memory.

You shouldn't have used the r-word.
It sets off his guilt.
Turning my attention to Nathan, I
summoned a smile as I called his name.

His smile and, "Good morning," left me
feeling like I was his perfect dawn and not the pariah I'd felt
like last night. Before the nightmares started.
Rescue me,
his eyes pleaded.

Thinking quickly, I asked for his help
in the shower, hoping he wouldn't freeze up like he had last night.
I needed to know if any of her warnings had sunk in to his
traumatised consciousness. And if last night was simply a result of
him drinking too much, never to be repeated.

He agreed and I left, but I'd barely
made it two steps from the door before I realised he hadn't
followed me. Carefully, I rested against the wall as I waited.

I let my eyes roam around the ceilings,
looking for the surveillance cameras that had to be here. His
sister would surely have as much protection as I did. Yet I saw
none. Maybe they'd used better technology for this house because
she was more valuable. Or maybe there was no surveillance…I sat
puzzling out what that meant as they shouted insults at each other
for a bit longer.

Nathan finally left, angry and upset,
but he stopped as soon as he saw me.

I stretched a hand out for his and let
him help me to my feet. He held me tighter than usual as we walked
together to the bathroom, as if he was afraid to lose me.

Don't worry, Nathan – I already know
your alter-ego is Mr Sleazy Roommate. And last night you showed me
you won't take advantage of me. A compunction I don't share.

Once the bathroom door shut behind us
and the shower water muffled our conversation, I resolved to find
out whether he still wanted me after last night. His sister didn't
need to know.

I slid my hands up his shirt, caressing
the firm muscles I knew were hidden beneath the fabric. He
stiffened at my touch, but he didn't pull away. I tried to pull his
shirt off and he lifted his arms to assist me.

So far, so good.

I pulled off my own sweater. My heart
sank as he closed his eyes before he could see anything.
Do my
scars really make me that hideous? Was last night just a drunken
mistake?

Cautiously, I pressed my naked body
against his. He still had his shorts on, but they weren't much of a
hindrance. I could still feel his eager response to my
proximity.

"Would you like me to help you in the
shower?" His breathless voice surprised me, as did his open eyes,
fixed on my face. The guilt wasn't gone, but it was fading.

I smiled as I accepted his offer.

His hands on my body were as tender as
last night, lifting me into the warm water as he stepped into the
shower with me in his arms.

I looked down. His soaked shorts clung
to his body, hiding nothing.

"I'll keep it in my pants," he
swore.

I laughed, cupping his cheek as I
kissed him. "How are we going to do this?" I murmured.

His arms were full of me and I couldn't
wash myself with the two of us so close.

He looked puzzled, like he hadn't
planned this, either. "I don't know," he said finally. "We don't
have a chair I can stick in the shower for you here. Maybe…if I set
you down on your feet…do you think you can hold onto me for support
while I help you wash? If you like. I'll be a perfect gentleman, I
swear."

Somehow, we ended up standing like
dance partners in the shower, swaying a little under the warm rain.
The promised perfect gentleman reached for the soap and proceeded
to demonstrate his prowess, like a dishwasher with a delicate china
plate. No passion – just professional boredom.

I endured it, holding still as he
caressed my body with the bar until I was clean. If I couldn't see
his shorts, I'd have thought my bare skin had no effect on him.

He clinked the soap back into its dish
and placed his arms around me again, careful not to let my breasts
touch him. "Now, let's get you wet and you'll be all clean," he
murmured, turning with me so more of the spray rained down on
me.

I chose my words carefully. "What if
I'd prefer to be wet and dirty with you, Nathan?"

He stared at me, shocked. "What…what do
you mean?"

Fuck, Nathan. I know you heard and
understood the words. Should I have just said, "Finger me, Nathan,"
instead?

With equal care, I grasped his hand,
pulling it down. "You…remember what you did last night? I want to
know I didn't dream it." I swallowed, already regretting my
impulse. "Please."

His expression softened. "You were a
dream last night. I never thought you'd trust me enough to let me
touch you like this, let alone pleasure you like last night," he
murmured, one finger lightly stroking. I shivered in relief. "Are
you sure you want this?"

"Oh yes." I threw my arms around his
neck, kissing him deeply as his caresses deepened, too.

"Don't…stop," I panted, before
returning for another kiss. This kiss didn't cease until I
collapsed against him, spent.

He may have been an absolute dream, but
Nathan was no nightmare, that was for sure.

Part 70

Nathan's hands lingered dreamily on me
as he helped me dress, as if the scars didn't deter him in the
slightest in the light of day. I wondered what had turned him off
so completely last night, if it hadn't been my body.

The sound of crockery scraping in a
metal sink reminded me of his angry sister. Perhaps I was asking
the wrong person – she knew him better than I did.

Nathan offered to help me to the
kitchen and make me breakfast, but I shook my head. I'd never get
her to be honest about him within his hearing. "You should go hang
the towels up and get into some dry clothes," I suggested, glancing
down at the prominent torch he carried for me in his soaked
shorts.

He flushed and grabbed the damp towels,
mumbling as he strode away.

I waited until I heard the toilet door
close before I hurried to speak to Chris. I didn't know how long
it'd take him to jerk off.

"How long has he been having
nightmares?" I asked softly as I entered the kitchen.

"Since she went missing," she
responded, equally softly.

"Has he slept with any girl since?"

"He's fooled around with a few, but
none of them ever stayed 'til morning," she replied.

I felt a blush colouring my cheeks.
"Maybe it's because we didn't."

She lifted her eyebrows at me.

"Your brother's good with his hands and
his tongue. Do you really want the details?" I took in her panicked
expression. "Fifty bucks says he's making use of his hands to
relieve the pressure right now. Give him some credit."

I heard the slam of a door.
That was
quick.

She turned away from me, staring out
the window. I followed her gaze to where Nathan was pegging the
towels on the outside clothesline.

I shrugged and started searching the
kitchen, trying to work out what to have for breakfast. For a
moment, I regretted not taking Nathan up on his offer of a full
cooked breakfast. I had a craving for bacon…

"He’s not even making you breakfast?"
she asked, as if she'd read my mind.

"No, I talked him out of it," I replied
in Nathan's defence.

She stared at me in shock, as if she
hadn't expected me to reply. "How did you manage that? It’s
difficult to talk him out of anything."

I warmed to the girl. She did know him
and she was going to tell me what I needed to know, even if Nathan
was listening. Maybe an insult would make him move out of earshot.
"Difficult? He’s as stubborn as a mule!"

She evidently thought the same thing,
laughing loudly as she agreed with me.

Nathan's scrutiny didn't lessen.

"I’m Caitlin. Nathan seemed
too…
preoccupied
to introduce me before." I almost said rude,
but she seemed to understand anyway.

We shook hands as she introduced
herself as his sister, Chris, exactly as I'd surmised.

The girl he'd been trying to protect as
he'd let me get hurt.
Was it worth it, Nathan?

"Shit, are you all right?"

She'd seen the pain in my expression. I
think she took it for real pain instead of bitterness and
heartache.

"No, but I will be one day," I replied
carefully. I edged away from her, toward one of the kitchen chairs.
My legs were cramping a little from the unaccustomed exercise –
both last night and in the shower.

She helped me sit down, her voice low
in my ear. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No," I whispered back.

"I'll make you a coffee. You just sit
and rest. It still hurts you to walk, doesn’t it?" she said
loudly.

"Not as much as it did at first, but it
still does, a bit," I agreed. I dropped my voice lower. "Especially
when I've done…more than I'm used to." I felt my cheeks redden.
She'd made no secret of the fact that she'd heard us last night,
when she'd been shouting at Nathan earlier. I hoped we'd been
quieter in the shower.

"Does he even know?" she asked, turning
to look at Nathan.

"Don't tell him. I'm recovering faster
than he realises. Let him play Prince Charming for a bit," I
whispered.

"Prince Sleazy, more like," she
whispered back, before raising her voice to a more normal volume. I
tried to choke back my laughter. "Look, I don’t know what you’ve
been through, what they’ve done to you or anything. Just don’t
assume he’s some kind of Prince Charming because he rescued you.
He’s nowhere near perfect – he’ll probably just end up hurting you,
breaking your heart. He’s good at that."

I'm not even sure I have a heart
left to break.
I didn't dare confess that to his sister,
though. "Do you think badly of me for staying last night?" I asked
instead.

Her expression told me she did, but she
evidently noticed my knowing look and denied it.

"No, it's him!" she insisted. "What you
want to do is your business, and you’re not the first."

Nathan's killed for other girls? Or let
other girls get hurt?

She saw my expression and hurried to
explain. "Not the first girl he’s ever brought home, I mean. He’d
come in late, not alone, and she’d be gone by morning. I've never
seen – or heard – the same girl twice, except when they called to
try to get in contact with him again."

Well, if he's as good in bed as he is
in the shower, it's no surprise his conquests would want more. I
do…

"Have there been many since Alanna
disappeared? Or since he found me?" I asked softly.

"It’s been a long time since he brought
anyone home – more than two months – but I’d have thought he’d know
better than to seduce you, or play on what he did for you – after
all you’ve been through, you don’t need him to hurt you as well!"
She addressed the last part of her comments out the window at
Nathan, who hid behind a towel.

You think Nathan seduced me? Hopefully,
he thinks so, too.