Necessary Evil of Nathan Miller (17 page)

Nathan murmured soothing words while
the police officers took notes. I paid little attention to any of
them. More than ever, I wanted this to be over. My fingers
tightened around the filleting knife I’d found on my bed, as I
crushed lacy lingerie in my other fist.

I intended to gut her like a fish. But
first, I’d seduce my sleazy roommate and see if the suggestion of
sex could persuade him to stay long enough to assist with the
slaughter. With his help, I might survive.

As if he’d read my thoughts, Nathan
offered, "I won't let them hurt you. I'll even take you shopping to
buy more clothes to replace these."

I left the shredded lace on the bed.
Lingerie shopping with Nathan sounded like fun – and perfectly in
line with my plan. I headed off to wash any intact clothes that
remained, while Nathan dealt with the mess. Over my shoulder, I saw
him staring at the shredded g-string I’d balled up on the bed. I
smothered a smile and kept going.

Part 50

Her – Tied – Mike – Tom – Cut

"What the hell? I said not her face –
we need her to stay pretty." An angry woman's voice broke through
the darkness.

"She attacked me with a knife," Mike
muttered.

I'll do it again. Cut me free and I'll
claw something off with my bare hands…

"What's your excuse, Tom?" She sounded
bored.

"She tried to take her nails to my
face. She almost scratched my eye. I didn't hit her hard. She just
landed on her face is all." He sounded even more bored than
her.

Not Chris. Tom. Tom's the prick who
first raped me, who broke my fingers, who's also going to die…I
listed it all out in my head. If only I could see his face, so I
could memorise his features.

"You've got the rest of her to do what
you want with. Just leave her face, is all. It'd be nice if you
didn't kill her yet, too." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Who
wants her next?"

My blood ran cold. Please, not more
pain.

"I do," both men said together.

I held my breath, hoping they'd decide
to fight to the death over me or something equally stupid.
Something that kept me safe from both of them, or one, at
worst.

"I haven't had her yet," Mike said.
"I'd like to wake her up and give her a big surprise."

So would I. I'd like to give you a
bullet in the brain.

"I don't like sloppy seconds," Tom said
with disgust. "If I don't have her first, I'm not interested."

I wanted to curl into a ball and hide
at the memory of what he did to me first. Don't let him touch me
again.

"Sloppy seconds! Hell yeah!" Mike
laughed. "You can go first, if you get her wet for me, mate."

No, please…

"Fine by me."

No. Not fine at all. Fucking horrible.
I froze and tried not to let them know I was awake enough to hear
them.

A hiss of breath. "Then it's all
arranged to your satisfaction. You both remember what I said and
have your fun. Mike, can you make sure the others know? Any more
damage to her face and I'll do some damage. They'll believe
you."

"Yes, ma'am," Mike said.

I wanted to laugh out loud. Hysterical
laughter, but laughter nonetheless. Mike the big bastard had a
woman boss who he called 'ma'am' and obeyed? Too funny.

I hadn't been paying attention. Cold
air chilled my bare skin, for the blankets had been ripped away. A
cold blade slipped between my legs, freezing me further. The rope
dropped from my legs, cut.

"I know you're awake. You're too stiff
to be asleep. Spread your legs for me like a good girl and you
might even enjoy it." His voice was quiet and emotionless. "And no,
don't think you'll get your hands on my knife. Try anything like
you did yesterday and I'll cut you instead."

He shoved my legs apart and I found my
voice, desperate to say something that might delay the pain or stop
it altogether. I heard the squeal of a zip, then the crackle of
plastic.

"Why bother? Chris's had me every
night. He's more a man than you'll ever be. You're the sloppy
seconds, not me," I spat.

He grunted and I felt his weight on the
mattress. "Shut up or I'll break your jaw."

"But she won't let you do that. The
bitch you work for," I taunted.

"The bitch I work for won't care if I
cut you a wider cunt, though. So shut the fuck up or I'll do it,"
he threatened.

I gritted my teeth as he grunted.

Please, let it be over soon. Or I'll go
away in my head and not come back.

Part 51

I needed cheese. If I didn’t get
cheese, the zombie mice would be hungry and they’d cry. But all I
could find at shop after shop was cheddar and camembert. They’d
only eat Persian feta and I could hear them crying already as I
took longer and longer...

Mice don’t eat cheese.

I startled myself awake, trying not to
laugh at the sheer stupidity of my dream. There was no such thing
as zombie mice and they definitely didn’t eat cheese.

As I stifled my laughter, I realised
Nathan was thrashing around beside me, his breathing fast and
panicked. “No...no...” he murmured, the breathy whisper hard to
understand.

Nathan has nightmares. I should wake
him from this one, as he’s done so many times for me.

“
Nathan, it’s just a
bad dream, like mine. Please. Don’t let them...”

He threw his arms around me, tightening
them into an inescapable hug.

"It’s okay, angel. A bad dream. You’re
safe – safe at home." He choked back a sob. “You’re okay.”

Oh God. His nightmares are about
me.

I made an excuse about needing to write
my dreams down and his hold loosened enough for me to leave the
bed.

He offered to help.

“
No – you don’t need
to hear this.”
Not if it gives you nightmares worse than
mine
. “Go back to sleep, Nathan. I won’t be long,” I
lied.

I turned the laptop on, feeling his
eyes on me the whole time. He didn’t go back to sleep for a while,
and he was restless soon after. Feeling like a sick stalker as I
watched him sleep, I waited to see if he’d have another
nightmare.

“
No...not
her...no...”

I felt tears streak my cheeks at the
agony in his voice.

“
Not
Caitlin.”

I stumbled back to my bed, moving as
close to Nathan as I could.

“
You’re okay. Just a
dream...” he murmured, stroking my hair as he pulled me closer to
him. I could feel him shaking.

I give him nightmares. I should
never have told him...
“I’m sorry.”

"I'm here now and I'm helping you. No
one's going to hurt you again, I swear. Definitely not her." He
sounded so fierce, as if he was trying to fight off his own
nightmares as well as mine. What could I say to that?

“
Thanks, Nathan,” I
murmured, wishing I could offer more. Yet a small part of me
whispered,
Serves you right, you bastard, taking so long to help
me
. I tried to silence it, but the niggling thought
remained.

Part 52

I saved the lingerie shopping for last.
Nathan made appreciative noises when I showed him some of the
clothes, but it was the sexier stuff I wanted him to see.

I deliberately took him to the lingerie
shop with notoriously bad service. The teenagers at the counter
only served their friends and ignored everyone else. In the past,
it had annoyed me beyond belief, but today their inattention was
perfect.

After several unsuccessful attempts to
get their attention, Nathan agreed to help me fasten things. No
matter how much he averted his eyes, I knew the mirrors would make
sure he saw everything.

The longing in his eyes as he stared at
the red satin padded one made me smother a smile as I set it on the
pile of items I wanted. He swallowed as if his mouth was dry for
the black lace. I added that to the pile, too.

He didn’t seem to like the patterned
ones as much and one didn’t fit very well, either. A little bit too
much padding, perhaps. He shuddered at the black and red one I
thought quite pretty, but I set it aside. He seemed to grow more
and more agitated as I switched to some plain satin ones and I
opened my mouth to ask why

Of course, that’s when the stupid shop
assistant decided to try to be helpful. “Can I help you with
anything?” she simpered, shoving the curtain open without caring
whether I was naked or decent.

I quickly slipped a sweet little
chemise over my head.

“
Oh, thank God!”
Nathan exclaimed. I could see his hands shaking, but his eyes were
on her and not me.

I glanced at the bulge in the front of
his pants and tried to distract the shop assistant before she
noticed, too. I handed her the pile of items Nathan had expressed
his appreciation over and asked her to get me matching knickers for
the lot. Nathan adjusted himself while her eyes were on me.

“
You look beautiful
in that one,” he murmured, as soon as she was out of
earshot.

I tried not to cheer – no matter how
much I wanted to – as I asked him to assist me back into my own
clothes.

Once dressed, I snatched up the chemise
that Nathan had admired. I intended to wear it tonight – and see
how long he could resist.

Part 53

Her – Tied – Alanna – Chris –
Personal

"My husband is weak. He wants you, but
he hasn't given in to temptation yet."

I blinked at the torch she shone into
my eyes. I didn't uncurl from my foetal ball.

I saw her lift her shoulders in a
shrug. "He will. You look too much like me. He'll never dominate
me, for he's too weak. Perhaps I should watch when he takes you."
The torch played over my body. "So dirty, though." She
shuddered.

"So give me a shower and a change of
clothes," I said hoarsely.

"You won't live long enough to need
one," she said softly. "It's only a matter of time. He killed the
last one. The ASIO boy's twin. She fought too hard."

Realisation hit – I knew who she meant.
Found dead on a beach, bloodied and broken. The bloke who found her
had talked to the news and he'd looked green.

"Alanna," I blurted out. "He killed
Alanna."

She shrugged again. "Was that her name?
I didn't care to find out. Like her, you won't last long."

"I just have to last long enough to
kill you," I rasped.

"You won't get a chance. The one you
call Chris – he'll kill you first. To save his family, he thinks."
She laughed. "He can't save his family." She walked to the door.
"It's not personal. He could have picked anyone. It didn't matter
to me. It'll all be over soon."

The hell it isn't personal. It is to
me. This is my body they're hurting. It may not be personal to you
yet, but I'll sure as hell make it personal when I kill you,
bitch.

Part 54

"How many?" A pause. "I’ll take care of
it. Let them in."

My hand hovered over the just-pressed
flush button when I heard Nathan’s low voice in the hallway. I
froze, stunned, as the water swirled around the bowl.

Nathan burst in on me, kicking the door
shut behind him. I felt his whole body tense as it crushed me
against the wall. His hand silenced the shocked scream that wanted
to escape from my mouth. I swallowed it down. Fear had no place in
my head when it was swiftly replaced with fury.

You bastard. Tell me you didn’t
just…

He was breathing heavily, desperation
in his expression.

I gazed steadily back into his panicked
eyes, trying to decide what my next action should be.

Nathan carefully took his hand away
from my mouth, his look apologetic.

Oh no you don’t...The hell you're
handing me over to them!

I forced myself to relax in his grip,
dropping my head and closing my eyes, from fierce to pitiful in a
moment. I took a calculated risk, distracting him in the most
underhanded way possible. "Nathan, please don’t hurt me," I begged
him as desperately as I could manage.

He was still for a moment, trying to
shut out the memory I knew my words would inspire. His weight
against me lessened and he made an effort to control his rapid
breathing.

"I’m not going to hurt you." His tone
was calm and low, so reassuring he disarmed me completely.

You’ve said that before,
I
thought uneasily.
You've never hurt me. But they…

The gentle kiss as his lips met mine
shocked me.

Nathan would never hurt me. Just like
he wasn’t hurting me now...

The memory came unbidden – forced
kisses in the dark.
One rough and unpleasant; one gentle and
insistent.
My lips parted and I responded...

"Chris." I forced my eyes open as I
spoke the name, not wanting to be in the dark with memories I
didn’t trust.
Remember?

You bastard. How dare you. Never
without my permission...
I glared at him, trying to decide what
to say first, as I shoved his shoulders away with both hands.

He moved back, so only his hands
touched me, still pinning me to the wall. "I’m sorry..." he started
to say.

I should have done this a long time
ago.

I was too close to kick him and in bare
feet I’d only hurt my toes, but I could and did drive my knee up to
where I could still cause considerable pain.

He gasped as my knee connected, leaning
over to move his most sensitive parts away from me, while putting
more weight on pinning me to the wall. His forehead nearly rested
on my shoulder.

"You prick. You did that before
and
you hoped I wouldn’t remember." I tried to scare him
into letting him go, but still he held me firmly. I pushed against
him and tried to twist away, to no avail.

His voice was wheezy and breathless,
but still audible. "I need you to stay in here. The house is being
watched and I need you to hide in here, where no one will guess you
are." His weight on my shoulders intensified and my knees folded.
He was ready for it, pushing me into the tight space between the
toilet and the wall, as I sank to the floor.