Necessary Evil of Nathan Miller (18 page)

Hurt me and I’ll kill you.
I
glared up at him.

But instead of approaching me, he
turned to go.
He’s serious,
I realised.

I found my voice. "You can’t leave me
here alone – give me something to defend myself with, or stay here
with me!" It was painful for me to admit, but that was the reason I
hadn’t kneed him where it hurt before now.

He knelt down on the floor in front of
me
.
I must have hurt him,
I realised.
He has tears
in his eyes. Good.

His voice was low and painful. "I
can’t. They’ve seen me come in here – and if I stay, this is the
first place they’ll check, because they know I’ll be here. Then
they’ll find you, too."

Shit. Shouldn’t have hurt him. Not yet.
I still need him. Hell, if he gets me through this alive, maybe I
can even forgive him.

I looked up at him.
You really want
my forgiveness? Fine.
"Make sure you kill them all."

He winked and nodded. Through the
rapidly narrowing gap as he shut the door, I could see him
adjusting himself, wincing.

Maybe I’ll apologise for that
, I
thought.
When it’s all over.

Maybe.

Part 55

I watched the light from the frosted
toilet window fade from orange to pink to darkness.

Jammed between tiled wall and toilet
bowl in the dark, I heard sounds that might have been gunshots, but
they were muffled – sounding far away. My heart raced with fear and
a sort of thrill that I’d felt before, but I’d forgotten.

I realised that I wanted Nathan to be
there with me – I didn’t want to cringe in a corner like a
frightened rabbit. All someone had to do was open the door and I
was a sitting duck – they couldn’t miss me. Nathan should have
given me a weapon, not left me here alone, near helpless, confident
I was so well hidden that they'd never find me.
Fucking
bastards. Leaving me in no state to fight.
Hell, I wanted to
fight, but I feared I hadn’t recovered enough to be any use. I’d
distract Nathan from them if he had to focus on my fragility.

He still should have left me a fucking
weapon – one I didn't need much strength for. A small automatic
pistol, perhaps…or was he just afraid I'd hold it to his head if he
tried to kiss me again?

I remembered the burn of his lips on
mine. The unexpected, urgent kiss. When he knew what they'd done to
me…The dark memory hovered in the back of my mind, the one that had
yawned open like a chasm when I’d closed my eyes earlier, but I
pushed it away. I didn’t want to give in to it. It'd come back in
my nightmares soon enough.

I pushed that thought away, too.
Burning fury is better for a fight than fear for the future.

Never hurt me again
, I thought
fiercely.

If Nathan gave me a gun, I probably
wouldn't shoot him. I felt like kicking him instead – far more
satisfying. I flexed my foot, wondering at one of the few parts of
my body without scars. My feet and my face. My face I knew why; my
feet…perhaps none of them had a foot fetish. They were definitely
fucked-up in their preferences otherwise – maybe feet were just too
tame.

I heard a faint sound and looked up.
The door started to open – the handle turned and the door moved
inward. I scanned the room, looking for anything I could use as a
weapon.
The toilet brush or the bottle of toilet cleaner?
Laughter threatened to erupt, but I held it in. She didn’t seem to
see me until the door was fully open, but by then she blocked the
doorway. She was armed.

"Hello." She was short, like me, with
dark hair, dark eyes and a petite build. Very like me, but older. A
face I hadn't forgotten. "Come on, get up. I’m taking you away from
here."

She was dressed in a dark vest and
shirt with dark pants, far more practical than the new nightdress I
wore.
I should be wearing something like that.
I just stared
at her for a moment.
I need to get up and get close to her, or
I’ll never stand a chance. I might even have to kill her. Oh God,
how? I've never killed anyone before.

At least I had a tiny bit of time to
find my courage and decide to do it, desperately hoping Nathan
would come back in time to save me. Despite the impressive weapon,
I knew she wasn’t going to shoot me yet. If she was, she’d have had
me at hello.

"I can’t get up by myself. I need
help," I blurted out.

“
Where’s Al Himar
when I need him? He liked being your nursemaid more than he liked
fucking you.” She snorted.

Realisation dawned. “You mean Nathan?
You're calling Nathan Al Himar?” I forced myself to laugh. “The man
you call an ass shot your husband stone dead. For me. And he’ll
happily do the same to you.”

"Bullshit.” Her eyes flickered, as if
she didn’t know what to believe. She shook her head "He'll do what
I tell him, as always. I might have him eat me out again, on the
leather back seat of his lovely car, while your corpse is cooling
in the boot."

Again? Nathan slept with this bitch?
How?

She saw my confusion and smiled. "He
may be a donkey, but his performance was quite impressive. Of
course, you wouldn't know – he never tried to please you like he
did me. He was trying to seduce me for information, so I really got
him at his best."

No. Nathan wouldn't sleep with her for
information. He wouldn't…surely! She's full of shit, trying to
shake me. He swore he'd protect me. He promised he wouldn't let
her…

“
Come on." She leaned
closer to me and held out a hand, the one without the gun. Not a
little weapon like the one on the beach – something newer and
bigger; the type you see on American action movies that spit out
bullets far faster. She waved the gun toward the door and the
hallway outside, telling me to go that way.

I'm going to die. She's going to shoot
me with that overpowered weapon while I have…shit. Damned if I'll
go out cringing in a corner, though.

I took her arm and stood up. We stood
eye to eye for a second, though I was unsteady.

She smiled. "The boys have missed you.
And your pet donkey, the ASIO ass-boy you think will save you?
He’ll kill you for me, to protect his family, even without orders
from his boss. Who is quite an obedient bitch himself, as I recall.
He's pulling the rest of his team out as I speak, so there won't be
anyone to help you. Just the inconstant donkey. Maybe I'll let him
fuck me one last time before I kill him, too."

Doubt hit for the second time, harder
than before. If his boss was implicated in this, too, I didn’t know
what Nathan would do. What if she was right – and he'd choose her
and his sister over me? Maybe he'd wanted the bitch all along.

The bitch who’d hit me and pushed me
into the car. The bitch who’d slashed my clothes and was back to do
the same to me. I couldn't count on any help from Nathan or anyone
else.

Fuck you, Nathan, if you want her. I’d
rather die than go back. What do I have to lose? If I’m going to
hell, I’ll take you with me, bitch. You're going to pay for what
you did to me.

I lifted my arm and the toilet brush
with it to her face. She recoiled from the brown bristles, coated
and dripping with blue toilet cleaner. Her mouth opened wide with
horror. I smiled and shoved the foul thing down her throat. As she
choked, I grabbed for the gun and I didn’t let go.

She could have squeezed the trigger in
surprise.

But she didn't.

Both of her hands were clamped around
the handle of the toilet brush, trying to drag it out so she could
breathe. I knew the cleaner would already be burning her insides.
The bitch deserved it.

I yanked the gun from her hands,
shoving her against the wall tiles. I’m not sure she even saw it
coming. I squeezed off one round into her face and I didn't stop
until I'd run out. I had no bullets left and the bitch was missing
a face.

The shots echoed in my head, so loud I
couldn't hear anything else. Her blood was everywhere – coating the
tiled walls and the floor. The acrid smoke burned my throat and
made it hard to breathe. I felt her body go limp and fall.

Good.

I pulled the blood-spattered satin
chemise off, trying to wipe some of her blood off my face as I did
so, and dropped it on the floor. Carefully, I edged her shirt and
vest over what was left of her head and put them on. The vest
seemed to be some kind of armour, its pockets loaded with extra
ammunition.
This'll be handy.

I took her pants and put them on.
Strapped to her ankle was a big, wicked-looking knife. I hesitated,
before taking that, too.
She won’t need it.
Her shoes looked
too big for me, so I left them. I dressed her in my ruined nightie,
then pushed her over so she lay face-down on the floor. Maybe
they’d think she was me and buy me some time. I picked up her gun,
wiping some of the blood off it with the skirt of the nightie.

Then I tried to heave open the door,
but her feet were jammed up against it. I managed to push it open
wide enough to squeeze out into the hallway, but the weight of her
legs shut the door as soon as I was through.

Oh well, it'll take them longer to
find her and realise it’s not me
, I thought.

I looked around for somewhere to hide,
ideally where I could make use of the gun. The laundry and bathroom
were the nearest rooms, but they had no obvious hiding places.
I
wish I had the flexibility and strength to brace myself in the
corner of a ceiling, like people do in movies
, I thought as I
looked up at the high ceilings. I looked at the dryer and the big
gap between it and the ceiling.
I’d be out of sight and I'd have
a clear shot at anyone trying to get me down
, I thought,
if
only I can get up there...

For the first time, I blessed Jo's
addiction to the shooting range. I'd handled a fair few pistols and
I wasn't a bad shot. If only I weren't so out of practice…

I stuck the gun and the knife up on the
dryer, so I wouldn’t have any more accidents with either of them.
Then I took a deep breath and started to haul myself up.

By the time I’d climbed from the top of
the washing machine to the top of the dryer, I figured everything
hurt and I might have injured some muscles I didn’t know I had.
I hope I get to rest up here a while before I need to climb
down,
I thought as I shoved a clip of bullets from my vest
pocket into the gun. I fully intended to shoot first and say
fuck you
later.

Part 56

Tied – Help – Pills – Chris

Perhaps I was so exhausted I fell
asleep. Perhaps one of them knocked me unconscious. I went away to
places in my head that were as far from the cold concrete as I
could, so I don’t remember. All I remember is every one of them
making a point of telling me his name was Chris, with not a single
voice matching the one they called Chris.

When I woke up, it was to something
cold and wet touching my cheek, which now felt horribly bruised.
The rest of my body felt worse – violated in every way. I'd force
him to kill me before I let him rape me again.

"What in hell are you doing this time?"
I said tersely.

"Shh," came Chris's whispered reply.
"They won’t let me near you unless I…they want me to…..so keep it
down, please, so they don’t hear us. I’m here to help you."

"Find me a good pair of rusty garden
shears…and untie me." I snapped back. "Help me and I'll let you
keep all your bits intact. I'm going to fucking castrate the rest
of them, so they'll never…"

"I can’t untie you. They’d know I
helped you. I brought you some food and drink….and something for
the pain. Did they hurt you when they tied you up?"

Of course they fucking hurt me, stupid.
My face hurt too much to eat or even talk. I didn't want to think
about the rest of me. I didn’t say anything else. He gave me some
pills, holding the water to my lips as I drank. A nice pair of
garden shears and they’d know I was there….and they won’t be doing
it again, either.

"Did they hurt you?" asked the pathetic
Chris’s voice again.

That’s an understatement, I thought, as
I nodded in the dark.

Keep fighting. Don’t let them win.

And he was gone.

Part 57

Nathan went past the door. Another man
paused to point a gun into the laundry, before he kept going.
Silently, he followed Nathan.

I slid down from the dryer to the
floor, as quietly as I could. I clicked the safety off my gun,
knowing what I had to do. Nathan had already reached the toilet,
with the mystery man still a few steps behind him.

I grabbed the guy’s shoulder, sticking
the gun into his neck. I hissed at him to drop his weapon. He
leaned down to place it on the hall rug and I kicked it, sending it
spinning across the laundry floor. He even stuck his hands in the
air. I couldn’t see over his shoulder or his raised hands – I was
too short. "Tell him he’s been followed," I hissed.

"You missed one," the man squeaked out.
He jerked his head a little behind him.

I couldn’t see Nathan.
Is he angry
at me for killing her?

"You killed her," Nathan accused.
Oh
shit.

I couldn’t deny it. "Yes." It came out
as a whisper – my voice had failed. The man I held at gunpoint
nodded for Nathan’s benefit.

I’d killed her. I’d been so scared of
them taking me back that I’d killed to stop her. What else had he
expected me to do?

So lost in thought – when I should have
been thinking about the present. Nathan hit the other man like a
truck, barrelling us both into the wall, with me cushioning the big
man’s fall. Desperately, I tried to shoot him so he wouldn’t touch
me again.
Get off me!