Naughty Secrets (11 page)

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Authors: Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

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A thirty-one-year-old woman wrote:

I was seven. My first attempt at masturbation occurred rather by accident, but the end result was so pleasant that later that
day I decided to try it again. Unfortunately, my mother walked into my bedroom and found me frantically rubbing between my
legs and went ballistic. She convinced me that I would damage myself that way and have to have tubes put in to go to the bathroom.
Needless to say I was terrified and it was years before I ever tried again.

What should you do if you stumble upon your child masturbating? First, and most important, take a deep breath before you decide
how to handle it. Don’t react with anger, embarrassment, or humiliation. Don’t lie to your child as this parent did. If you
do, he or she will never believe anything else you say, and you might be causing no end of sexual problems later on.

Temper any reaction with common sense and the reality of the letters you read here. Consider your views on sexuality and morality.
Then explain to your child what’s happening—that it’s a normal bodily function—and physiologically why your child’s body is
reacting the way it is. If you just can’t explain clearly (and that’s too bad), get your child an age-appropriate book on
sexuality and let him or her explore. If you’re troubled by a child who masturbates at the dinner table, while watching TV,
or in other public situations, suggest that masturbation is a very personal activity and that your child can do it (since
he or she will do it anyway), but only in private. If you “go ballistic,” as the parent did above, you’ll risk making sex
an unpleasant activity and severing all lines of communication.

It’s really amazing how vivid the memories are for so many. Here’s what others had to say about their first experience.

A forty-two-year-old man wrote:

I was about twelve or thirteen. It was summer vacation and my parents both worked, so I was home alone a lot. Some older boys
had been showing a neighbor boy and me how to do it—by demonstrating, of course. I then tried to do the same but, since I
didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t “make it.”

That night after I got into bed, I spontaneously came. It was very much like a wet dream, but I wasn’t yet asleep.

By the next day I pretty much knew what was supposed to happen, so I really went at it, masturbating to orgasm several times.
Of course, I told the neighbor boy right away and, proud of my new ability, I showed him.

Fairly soon he and I were doing it in each other’s presence regularly. We did do each other, or at least tried, a few times,
but having someone else jack me off wasn’t as good as doing it myself. I remember that he was always harder to get off and,
as I think back, I don’t think I ever was able to bring him to orgasm. We never tried oral–penile contact on each other. Although
we now live in separate towns, some distance apart, we’re still good friends. I wonder whether he remembers that time as well
as I do.

A sixty-two-year-old man wrote:

I was about twelve years old and I was with several other boys. It was a circle jerk in which we literally formed a circle
and each boy massaged the penis of the boy next to him.

A sixty-eight-year-old man wrote:

Yes, I remember it well. I was twelve years old and was stroking my cock as I looked at drawings of female genitalia in my
mother’s anatomy book. Suddenly heaven(!) and huge jets of sperm.

A twenty-one-year-old woman wrote:

I remember the first time I masturbated. I was in my early teens, and scared to death that I was doing something evil. That
didn’t stop me, however, it just made me feel really guilty.

A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:

The first time I did it was about thirteen, in bed, thinking about Ms
.
V, my English teacher. A bunch of guys had been talking about sex for a while and somewhere in there I had started thinking
of Ms
.
V’s stockings. She must have been wearing thigh-highs and occasionally I could see her bare leg above the nylons. That first
night I masturbated to that thought. After I came I wiped it off with a sock. Since my sister was in the other bed in the
room, when I did it from then on I had to keep quiet, wait until she was asleep, and then do it.

A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:

I did it for the first time in the shower. I knew something was supposed to happen, but I ended up dropping to my knees due
to the sensations. My mother thought I had fallen and killed myself. She never found out what had really happened.

A thirty-six-year-old woman wrote:

My first climax through sort-of masturbation happened by accident at the age of nineteen. I was really turned on by a dirty
book I was reading. I had to use the bathroom and when I wiped with toilet paper after peeing I had an orgasm. I was mystified
since I didn’t know what was happening. I don’t remember what I was thinking at that moment. I only remember my surprise when
my body did things over which I had no control.

A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:

The first time was after I had read a romance novel at age twelve. I was all tingly “down there” and began rubbing myself
to soothe the “itch.” Before I knew it I was having my first orgasm. Of course I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it felt
good.

A fifty-nine-year-old man wrote:

I was thirteen years old and ignorant. During that summer I was down in the basement where it was cool and I started playing
with myself. It felt so good that I kept on until I came. The next day I tried it again, with no luck. I was probably really
nervous about it all. Actually I don’t remember the second time but I’ll never forget that first.

A twenty-year-old bisexual woman wrote:

I don’t remember my first time, but I do remember some of my early fantasies. Looking back, they were incredibly kinky for
the twelve- to fourteen-year-old I was then. Lots of women in futuristic bondage, some sex-change stuff… and to think I didn’t
realize I was a kinky lesbianish bisexual till I was eighteen!

A thirty-six-year-old woman wrote:

The first time I masturbated I was eleven and had found my mother’s book,
The Happy Hooker,
in her bedside table. I grabbed it and snuck it into my room.

The next afternoon, a warm summer day when everyone was busy outside, I hid myself in my bedroom. I got to the part in the
book where she said that she had gotten off rubbing herself on the banister. I thought,
How is that possible?
I was quite horny by this time so I reached down between my legs and found that my panties were wet. With my fingers together
and stiff, I rubbed hard like I imagined it would be like on a banister. Wow!! Holy shit it worked! I must have done that
for the rest of the day. My mother had to call me three times for supper. I went to bed early that night, too.

A twenty-eight-year-old man wrote:

The first time I masturbated was by accident. I didn’t know what masturbation or ejaculation were.

I was twelve years old and in my bedroom having just finished taking a bath. I had a towel around me and as I took it off
to put my pajamas on, I noticed that my penis was stiff, bowed up in full erection as if begging to be touched. I remember
sitting on my bed and looking at it. I put my fingertips on the shaft and began stroking up and down very slowly. I felt a
wave of excitement as I continued to rub, and the more I stroked the better it felt. I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes,
feet on the floor, and kept playing with myself as it felt better and better. It got to a point where I could not believe
how good it was when I suddenly felt a sensation like I was about to urinate. I let go of my penis and watched in amazement
as semen shot out.

My penis was throbbing and semen was still oozing as I caught my breath. I told my mom about what happened and she gave me
a book about sex and masturbation, with pictures of male and female genitalia. It taught me a lot, and I read the best parts
over and over when nobody was home.

A twenty-two-year-old woman wrote:

The first time I masturbated I was thirteen and I remember it well. I had stayed home from school and, since my parents were
at work, I was alone for the entire day. My parents had a book by Masters and Johnson about sex and I got it out and began
reading about masturbation and intercourse. The book had a picture of an erect penis and I got excited looking at it.

I removed my clothes and loved the way it felt as I walked around the house naked. I gazed at my body in my mom’s full-length
mirror, and remember looking at my breasts, swollen nipples, and my pubic hair. My body was almost all the way developed,
and my nipples always seemed puffy, like they were still growing. I got a mirror out and stared at my vulva. I pulled my clitoris
hood back and looked at it, and I recall how good it felt as I rubbed on it.

I spread my legs and began rubbing back and forth on the hood of my clitoris, back and forth, back and forth. My clit felt
hot as I rubbed around it and on it. I went back and got the book and looked at the erect-penis pictures, then pulled on my
nipples as I rubbed my vulva. I pulled lubrication to my clitoris area and the slippery feeling of my fingers on my clit brought
me only to the edge of orgasm. I didn’t climax until much later when I got better at stimulating myself.

The sex book was helpful in getting me excited for many masturbation sessions. The book described how the male penis gets
erect, is inserted into the vagina, and, with a series of in-and-out movements, creates great physical pleasure for the male
and female. I imagined how a penis would feel inside me as I rubbed my clitoris. This was how it all began for me at thirteen
and I still masturbate with toys and my good old fingers sometimes.

A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:

The first time was when I was in high school. I had found some erotic magazines at my boyfriend’s and borrowed them out of
curiosity. I got so turned on looking at them that one thing led to another.

A thirty-eight-year-old woman wrote:

I was in fifth grade. I used to take baths at home, and we had a handheld hose that hooked onto the tub’s spigot, supposedly
to get all the soap out of my hair. The nozzle came off, leaving the open hose with water shooting out of it. I pointed it
to my pussy and found my clit. I learned very early on what felt good, and would orgasm every time I took a bath.

A twenty-six-year-old man wrote:

The first time I masturbated I was thirteen. I was talking to an older woman on the phone and she talked me through it, slowly
and gently. She told me that she was fingering herself as I stroked.

A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:

I actually remember two events. The first was the time I masturbated in the bathroom on a polar bear bath mat, not knowing
exactly what I was doing. The second was when I was watching something on television, idly playing with myself, and I came.
That time I finally knew what had happened.

A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:

I was about eleven years old and found a sex education book at a bookstore in a mall. It was pretty explicit, with photos.
I got so aroused while reading it that I was actually rubbing my hard cock through my jeans right there in the store. Eventually
I made myself come right there in the bookstore aisle. It was a little embarrassing trying to walk out of the mall with the
obvious wet spot.

A forty-five-year-old man wrote:

Yes, I remember that first time distinctly. I felt like I’d just unwrapped the biggest present under the Christmas tree.

A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:

I was about twelve or so and when I found a box of condoms in my dad’s nightstand I decided to try one on. Sliding the slippery
latex tube on my penis felt so good that I just kept doing it over and over. On/off, up/down. I felt this strange sensation
begin to build deep down in my loins. I thought maybe I should stop stroking, but it felt so good I just couldn’t. Then suddenly
ka-boom!
Huge waves of intense pleasure swept over me as I stared down in awe to see the condom fill up with white stuff.

A twenty-one-year-old woman wrote:

I was on the phone with my boyfriend and we had done cybersex before but I had
never
dared to put a finger in myself. That night proved to be most interesting.

A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:

I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I was in elementary school. I was taking a bath and I lay on my back and let the
water flow onto me until I climaxed. I didn’t know what an orgasm was at the time, much less that I had just had one.

A thirty-nine-year-old woman wrote:

I was in my teens when I found out that, if I put a blanket or pillow between my legs, pressed my mound against it, and wiggled
around, it created pleasurable feelings and eventually a release.

A fifty-one-year-old man wrote:

At age eleven I had not yet reached puberty but I did get little “boners.” I started masturbating soon after those erections
appeared but did not reach orgasm. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know orgasms even existed. I just knew that it felt good.

At the start of summer when I was twelve I remember my friend Billy talking about being able to masturbate and he asked if
I did. It sounded so manly that of course I said I did.

I had had zero sex education from my parents but I was too embarrassed to admit it to my friend or to admit that I didn’t
know what the hell I was doing when I did it. As so many boys did, I think Billy invited me over to his house to watch him.
I went, and I remember being very tense and afraid. We ended up in the bathroom with me standing in the doorway—watching.
He pulled down his pants, started playing with himself, and got this tiny erection, about three inches long. Well, he was
off to the races, stroking very rapidly.

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