My Perfect Imperfections (15 page)

The next day, Chance takes me to the outdoor café in the city since it’s a beautiful day. I’ve been to the place plenty of times with Kathy, and I enjoy the atmosphere. Since I’ve grown accustomed to eating out at restaurants, it no longer bothers me that I’m out in public and somebody has to feed me. I’ve learned that ignorant people will stare no matter what, and I’m not trying to prove anything to anybody, especially strangers.

Not very hungry, I order light. Chance assists me with feeding the lemon pound cake as well as the iced coffee. While we’re eating, he says, “I’m really ashamed of my behavior last night, Lily. I honestly have no excuse for it.”

I hate that he’s apologizing. I’m not sorry about what happened last night at all. I remain silent as he continues.

“I want to start over. I’ve missed you, Lily…a lot.”

“You knew where to find me.” This time, I can’t stay quiet.

“Yes, yes I did. But, you knew where to find me as well. Not once did you try to contact me even though my last message said that I’ll assume you don’t want to keep in touch if you don’t text me.”

I look away because he’s right. It hurt too much to keep in touch with him.

“So, I convinced myself that’s what you wanted. Was I wrong?”

I shrug my shoulders, still avoiding eye contact.

Chance sighs and says, “That’s what I thought. But, I couldn’t just walk away. So, I respected your wishes and kept in touch with your parents. I called them every week, sometimes a couple of times a week, just to see how you were doing. I’m sure they were sick of my calls all those years.” Chance laughs. “But I didn’t care. I figured if they didn’t want to talk to me, they wouldn’t have picked up the calls. Hey, they must really like me because they didn’t bust into your room last night when you were screaming bloody murder while beating the hell out of me.”

Chance seals his lips tight, trying hard not to burst out laughing.

I can’t hide my smile because he’s right. I’m sure they heard me screaming and making all sorts of noises. “I guess they know the difference between my screams out of anger versus out of fear,” I answer with my device.

“Yeah, lucky for me, I suppose. Wouldn’t want to deal with your dad’s fury, especially if he has a temper like his daughter’s…” Chance is back to himself again, teasing me while watching me blush.

“You deserved it!”

“Hey! You have a mean left hook! I have bruises to prove it.”

By now, I can’t contain my laughter. Damn, I’ve missed laughing with him.

“Now, that’s better. I’ve been missing that sound.” Chance smiles and reaches for my hand. “I’m not going to lie. I’m glad you got all your shit out. You’ve always had the habit of keeping your emotions bottled up inside you. I’ll take a beating from you any day if it’s therapeutic.” Chance winks.

I roll my eyes but smile. How does he have the power of stepping back into my life after all these years and making me feel like nothing has changed?

“I love to see you smile because you smile with your eyes.” Chance brings his hand to my mouth and rolls his thumb on my bottom lip.

His touch brings back the memories from the previous night, and my lips quiver. Noticing, he immediately pulls his hand away.

After an awkward silence, he says, “I’m done with medical school in two months. I graduate, Lily.”

“I know.” Of course, I know. Whether I like it or not, he’s always been in the back of my mind. “What’s next?”

“Residency,” he simply states.

“Congratulations. I know you’ve worked hard.” I wait a few seconds before asking my next question. “How have you been feeling? And don’t bother trying to hide anything.”

“Yes, ma’am! But, I’m happy to report that I’ve been healthy as a horse. I regularly see the specialist who has been monitoring me for ALS. So far, so good.”

I release a sigh of relief.

“Let’s talk about you, Lily. You’re almost done with your Master’s, right? Dang, that’s so amazing! How’s your job going?”

“Great! I feel like I’m making a difference—you know, one person at a time.”

“I know you may not believe me, Lily, but I’m the luckiest bastard around to have met somebody like you. You never cease to amaze me.” Before I can respond, he says, “You ready to get out of here? I’d love to go for our long walks again if you’re good with that?” When I nod, he continues, “Okay, let me go and pay this bill real quick. Wait for me here. I’ll be right back.”

I nod again, and he disappears inside. My thoughts linger on Chance. Whether I like it or not, my feelings for him are just as strong. I don’t know what last night was about, but we both have purposefully avoided discussing it.

“Finally got you alone.” A familiar voice sends chills up and down my spine.

I spin my head to find Kenny standing next to me. Just when I’m about to scream, I feel something sharp in the back of my neck.

“Don’t you try it, bitch. I’ll end your life with this knife.” With a smile on his face, he keeps his voice soft enough that nobody else can hear him. He plays with my hair as if we’re on familiar terms. “I told you not to tell anybody, but you didn’t listen. You’re going to regret this. I should have just fucked you over and over until you screamed for mercy. You’re going to take me to court? Nobody is going to believe a retarded person in a wheelchair! You’re going to lose and then I’ll be free to come after you again.” Kenny’s sinister laugh echoes in my ear. “So here’s how it’s going to work. I want you to tell them that everything was a lie. You made the whole shit up and I never did anything to you. If you do, I’ll leave you alone. If you don’t drop everything, I’ll hurt you and everybody in your life. I already know that your friend, Kathy, lives alone. Oh, and I also know where your parents live.”

I don’t dare move. Seeing him again has petrified me. My chest squeezes tight, and I can’t seem to breathe. Every single muscle in my body has tightened from my heightened emotions.

“What the hell is going on?” Chance’s voice interrupts the tense moment. As soon as he sees the fear in my eyes, he freezes, immediately sensing something is very wrong.

“Oh, hello! You must be the boyfriend.” Kenny moves his hand away from my neck and reaches for his back pocket, which makes me think that he’s hiding the knife from Chance.

“Who the hell are you? Get away from her!” Chance moves closer to us.

“So you’re a freak, huh? You’re into retarded and handicapped girls? Hey, man, if that’s your thing, that’s cool. I’ll admit, she’s hot.” Kenny smiles as he places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it.

Before anybody can respond, Chance dives forward and tackles him. As he straddles Kenny, he delivers one punch after another, creating a bloody mess right there on the sidewalk. Several bystanders grab hold of Chance and try to pull him off, but Chance’s rage is relentless.

As the horror unfolds before my eyes, I’m terrified that Kenny will hurt Chance with the knife. Feeling completely helpless, all I can do is scream, “Stop!” But, of course, nobody understands the words coming out of my mouth. It just sounds like I’m screaming senselessly.

Eventually, when Chance is finally pulled off of him, Kenny stumbles back up to his feet. With the crowd now gathered around us, he wipes his bloody mouth and says, “You’ll regret this. Oh, and your girl may deny it all she wants, but she loved every minute of it.”

Realization comes crashing down on Chance, and he somehow tugs free from the hold on him.

“You bastard! I’m going to make you pay!” Once again, Chance takes Kenny down, swinging wildly. This time, it takes several more people to tackle Chance away.

Somebody must have called the police because my mind registers the distant sirens becoming louder. Kenny must have figured it out as well since he tries to stagger away.

“Don’t let him get away!” Chance yells. “He’s trying to hurt my friend!”

As soon as Chance says this, the crowd gathers around Kenny, trying to contain him until the police arrive. In panic, Kenny pulls his knife out, pointing it at the crowd. I watch helplessly, praying nobody gets hurt.

Before things go completely out of control, the police reach the scene. As soon as they point their guns at him and demand that he drops the knife, Kenny obliges and surrenders by putting his hands up. Soon, the police have him down on the ground, restraining him with handcuffs.

Chance pulls himself away and rushes toward me. “Lily, are you okay? Oh my god, I shouldn’t have left you alone. I’m so sorry.” Holding my face with both of his hands, he searches intensely into my eyes for some type of reassurance.

With my eyes wide with fear, I nod and reach to touch his face. Chance grabs my hand and brings it to his cheek, kissing it.

By now, the police approach us for questioning. After Chance explains what happened, I tell them my version with my device. I then notify them that I have the whole thing recorded. Somehow, through the terror, I’ve managed to maintain some of my wit and activate my device to record the incident. I’m confident that at the very least, the voices can be heard.

“Lily, are you serious? You’re a genius!” Chance grabs my face and kisses me on my lips, right there in front of the cops and the bystanders. Somebody starts clapping from the crowd, and the rest of them follow. Soon, everybody there is whistling, clapping, or cheering.

Human nature is interesting. Even through all of the chaos, it craves for something good…something that brings hope.

When Chance finally pulls away, the police request that we follow them to the station, wanting to download everything recorded by my device.

“Are you up for that, Lily?” Chance asks.

No, of course not! I just want to go home and put this nightmare behind me. But, I refuse to give up now. I will not allow this evil bastard to terrorize me and be afraid to stand up for myself. Nodding to Chance, I drive my wheelchair to our minivan.

After lifting me up to the passenger seat, Chance holds me a little longer. “I could have killed him for what he did to you, Lily. I would have if they didn’t stop me.”

I reach for his face and say, “I know,” which sounds like, “Ah oh.” But Chance knows me so well that he understands exactly what I’m saying. After a quick peck on my lips and loading my wheelchair, he drives to the station.

Once Kenny finds out about all the evidence against him—especially his recorded confession and threats—he pleads guilty. Apparently, the police have been building a case against him, and they’ve found more victims willing to testify against him. Finally locked up, I’m assured that he will be behind bars for a long time.

Chance stays a few more days before heading back to school. He takes me to visit Layna, attends my aqua therapy sessions, and performs the massages and stretches with me every night. It’s as if nothing has changed between us, and yet, in my heart, I know everything has changed. But neither of us brings the future up, not willing to ruin our time together.

The night before he leaves, Chance asks, “So what’s up with you and what’s his name?”

I know whom he’s referring to, but I act naïve and ask, “Who?”

“That guy from your job. You know, ‘the prestigious professor,’” Chance answers as he glares at me while sitting in the chair next to my bed.

I smile. “He’s a friend.”

Chance stands up from the chair and approaches me. “A friend? Friends don’t kiss like that, Lily. What the hell! Do you have feelings for him?”

“We’re good friends. Of course, I care for him.”

Chance folds his arms across his chest. “Are you guys involved?”

“Involved?” I ask innocently.

“Stop. You know exactly what I mean. Stop playing with me.”

“Are you involved with anybody?” I ask, now ready to confront him. Two can play this game. I’ve seen plenty of pictures of girls throwing themselves all over him.

“What? Why would you ask me that?” he asks, walking away.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“No, Lily. I have nothing serious going on with anybody. How can you ask me that?” he repeats.

“Pictures don’t lie, Chance,” I respond. When he looks surprised, I continue, “Yeah, I have Facebook, too, and I saw plenty of pictures of you and girls all over you.”

“They’re nobody to me.” Chance puts his hands in his pockets, shrugging his shoulders.

“It didn’t look like that.” I shudder, remembering the picture of the brunette girl kissing him.

“This is ridiculous. I see you haven’t answered about Mark. I don’t like you with him. I know I don’t have any right to make such demands but…well, that’s just the way I feel.”

No, he doesn’t have any rights to my life. Our circumstances have led us to two different paths, and it’s something we’ll both have to accept.

“Are you going to keep in touch with me this time?” Chance interrupts my thoughts.

I think about that question. Do I want us to keep in touch? The fact of the matter is that he’s leaving again. He’s got his own life there, and God knows when I’ll see him next. Keeping in touch would only cause more pain—probably to both of us.

“No, I don’t think we should keep in touch,” I finally answer. It kills me to say those words, but I know it’s for the best. It hurts like hell to let him go, but I know it’ll hurt more to hold on. His happiness matters, and Chance has to find his own path to his happiness.

“Are you serious? Why not, Lily? Please help me understand. I don’t want you out of my life. I hate not being able to talk to you every day.”

“We’re both going to be very busy. It’s silly to keep in touch when we both have our own lives to live.”

Chance sits on my bed, hiding his face in his hands. After taking a couple of minutes to gather himself, he stands back up and approaches my wheelchair. “Come on, let’s do your exercises now.” He’s ready to change the subject and, truth be told, there’s nothing further to discuss on the matter. We both realize that we must live with the consequences of our decisions.

After assisting me to bed, Chance performs his magic on my muscles. He knows my body so well that he can put the right amount of pressure while massaging, and my muscles respond instantly to his touch. After he’s satisfied with his work, he lies next to me, pulling me into his arms like he has been doing every night since he’s been back.

While playing with my hair, he says, “Okay, I’ll come clean. There were a few girls in medical school that I was involved with. But, it was nothing serious—at least not from my end.”

Although in my heart I’ve already known that he’s been dating around, hearing him say the words out loud cuts like a knife. I swallow and close my eyes, wishing the pain would pass quickly. Imagining him sharing intimate moments with other girls kills me. At that moment, not only does it feel like my heart is broken, but so is every inch of the rest of my body. I bite my bottom lip, hoping the tears won’t sneak out of my eyes.

“None of the other girls have touched my soul like you, Lily,” Chance whispers in my ear as he snuggles closer to me.

There’s nothing to say. I bury myself into his embrace, savoring this moment before I have to let him go again.

When Chance leaves, there are no goodbyes. He simply disappears the next morning without even coming to see me. I’m not surprised. Chance hates putting himself in situations that are uncomfortable. He’d rather avoid them and run.

Taking a deep breath, I know I must try to pick up the pieces of my life again. I have avoided Mark this whole week, but I need to talk to him. When I ask him to stop by, he comes right over that very same day.

“I heard that guy is locked up now. I was happy to hear that,” he says as he kisses my cheek.

“Thank you. Mark, I have to tell you something. I care about you too much to not be honest.” I don’t want to beat around the bush, but I pause and wait for Mark to respond. When he remains silent, I continue, “I can’t give you more than friendship. I’m sorry.”

After a few more moments of silence, he takes a deep breath and says, “It’s because of that guy, Chance, right?” When I don’t answer, he continues, “I’m not surprised. I saw the way you looked at him. It’s obvious you’re in love with him.”

I look away, embarrassed that he has figured it out so easily.

“He’s not reliable, Lily. I hope you know that he’ll only end up hurting you.”

I don’t answer, nor do I share that Chance is already gone, out of my life once again.

“I still consider you a good friend, so if you need anything, don’t hesitate to contact me.” Mark swiftly stands back up, kisses my cheek, and leaves without turning back.

After our “talk,” Mark maintains our interactions at a professional level. Although I miss his friendship, I know this is for the best.

Although a heavy burden has been lifted once I confront Mark, I know I still have to face one more challenge. While my parents and I are watching TV in the living room one evening, I say, “I’m planning on moving out again.”

Immediately, I get their undivided attention. “I’m sorry, honey?” Mom asks, but I know she’s trying to buy some time.

“I’ve researched some apartments that may suit my needs. Besides, I make enough money to hire my own personal helpers now.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Dad can’t stay quiet any longer, but I’ve been expecting this. “What are you even thinking? After what just happened…Lily, I forbid it!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way. That weirdo is locked up now, and I can’t live in fear. I won’t do it. I’m twenty-six years old and shouldn’t be living with my parents. You know that I can live on my own.”

“Lily, are you listening to yourself? There are horrible people out there! You, of all people, should know that! At least with us, you’re safe. No, absolutely not! I should have put my foot down the last time.” Dad continues to yell, clearly frustrated.

“Honey, can we please listen to her? Please, don’t yell.” Mom tries to calm Dad down. Turning toward me, she says, “Lily, you do know why we’re shocked and concerned about this, right? I mean, I hope you realize that we’re both against this decision. Please understand that it’s only because we love you and worry about you.”

“I know that, but again, this is something I have to do. I have to face the world—the good and the bad. Of course, I’m scared, but I have to conquer my fears. I can’t live my life like this forever. Please understand where I’m coming from.”

They both remain silent for a brief moment. Finally, Dad says, “Lily, I can’t talk about this right now. It’s just too much. Can you give me some time to process all this?”

“Yes, because I would love for you to be involved with picking my apartment and interviewing the personal helpers with me.” I smile, knowing I’m going to win this battle.

After staring at me like I’ve lost my mind, Dad leaves the house, slamming the front door on his way out. Mom throws her hands in the air and stomps into the kitchen.

I smile smugly because I know that even if they don’t like my news, they understand.