My Perfect Imperfections (10 page)

Chance is true to his word and starts seeing a specialist. A series of neurological tests are performed, and none of them show any indication that Chance has ALS. Although he does possess the mutated gene, he is asymptomatic. The physician does not diagnose him with the disease. He doesn’t think that the episodes of dropping the glass and knees buckling are related to ALS. The physician feels that we’d see more than a couple of random episodes if he has the disease. However, he is quick to remind Chance that just because he doesn’t have ALS now, it doesn’t mean he won’t have it in the future. The good news is that they will keep a close eye on Chance and continue to monitor him.

Of course, both Chance and I are ecstatic about the news. Chance also shares that the doctor told him if he’s diagnosed with it in the future, in some rare cases, ALS can be reversible. I share his excitement and his hope. This is what I give him because this is what he needs. However, inside I remain cautiously optimistic.

When I graduate, knowing Chance is out in the crowd with my parents to support me makes it all even more worthwhile. It feels good to go across the stage to receive my diploma. I had missed my high school graduation since I had no desire to go without Layna. Today is a different day, and I’m proud of my accomplishment of graduating on time with my teaching degree.

My parents are beside themselves. Mom can’t stop crying; she can barely get a word out. Even my dad is teary-eyed.

“Darling, you do realize that you’ve made us the proudest parents on this planet, don’t you?” he asks, pulling me into his embrace.

My smile widens. Actually, I haven’t stopped smiling in the last couple of hours. This is my day and damn it, I’ve worked my butt off for this.

Mom whispers to me, “Layna would be so proud of you, sweetie. You know that, right?”

I nod because I know Layna is right here with me. There’s no way she would miss such a big event like this. Of course, she’s here supporting me.

Chance comes to the house to continue the celebration with us. When we’re alone in my room later, he pulls out a card and hands it to me. “Here’s your graduation gift.”

“You already gave me a graduation gift.” I remind him of our deal.

“Here, I’ll open it, smartie!” Once opened, he hands me the card, but keeps the envelope with him.

The card has a picture of a graduation cap on the front. Inside, I see Chance’s writing.

Lily,

Look at you! All grown up and ready to conquer the world! There are no words to describe how I feel right now. You have been my hero from the first day I met you. Thank you for being my best friend, my family, my everything.

Now, go find a job!

Love,

Chance

I can’t help but laugh at his last sentence. He can never stay serious for too long. I hold my arms open for him for a hug. Chance leans toward me, and I pull him into my arms.

“Thank you.” This time I use my own words. I know they don’t sound perfect, but Chance knows me well enough to understand what I’m saying to him.

“You’re welcome,” Chance says. “Oh, and I have one more thing.” His eyes filling with excitement, Chance hands me the envelope. He pulls tickets out and places them in front of me.

Confused and curious, I squint my eyes to see what it says. They are two first class airline tickets from Michigan to Cancun.

“I’m taking you to Cancun for your gift, Lily. We’re staying there for a week! I already talked it over with your parents, and I thought maybe we can take your manual, folding wheelchair so it’ll be easier to get around. Your communication device can still attach to it. I’ve researched everything. The resort is handicapped accessible and so are the beaches! We can even use one of their wheelchairs with big wheels that can go right to the ocean! I’m so psyched about this trip!” Chance is rambling with excitement, smiling from ear to ear.

“Who’s going to help me there?” Staying with him for a week is out of the question. I have to be fed, bathed, and even cleaned up after using the bathroom.

“Me! I can help you with everything! It’s not a big deal.”

“But, it’s a big deal to me,” I reply. I don’t want to be upset about this because I know he means well. I can see the enthusiasm in his eyes, but it’s another reminder of our circumstances.

“Lily, you know that I’m a nurse, right?” Chance teases.

“But I’m not your patient! I’m not your patient! I want you to see me as your equal, not your fragile patient who needs to be taken care of!” By now, I’m furious! How can he not know how I feel? I fight the tears from sneaking out. Quickly turning my wheelchair away from him, I try to put some distance between us.

Taking a deep breath, Chance says, “I’ve never thought of you as my patient, Lily. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way just now. I’ve always seen you as my equal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to take care of you. I like helping you. Why does that make me a bad guy? What’s wrong with me wanting to help someone I care about?”

“Forget it! You won’t understand!”

“Try me.”

“People have to do everything for me. I hate it. It makes me feel dependent, helpless. I don’t want you to see me that way.”

“One thing you’re not is helpless, Lily. For God’s sake, you just graduated with honors from a very prestigious college!”

“I need help with basic functions. Putting on clothes, bathing, eating…it sucks, Chance! And I don’t want your help.”

“Fine, I don’t understand it, but I’ll give in. How about if we have your personal helper come with us? If she’s not available, we’ll find somebody else. Remember, the vacation is for you and me, though. That’s my last week before I leave for medical school. I planned the dates accordingly. I want to have the time of our lives before I have to leave. So your helper is only there to assist you with your needs. That doesn’t mean she goes everywhere we go. Deal?” Chance uses his stern voice, but I catch the smirk he tries to hide.

“Deal,” I say, smiling smugly.

“It’s time for your stretching and exercises. Are you ready?”

“No, none of that today. I want a break. It’s my graduation day, after all.”

“Uh, nope! No breaks. We work out every day whether you like it or not.” Chance folds his arms in front of him, ready for this next battle. “I’ve worked you out every single day for the last year. I’m taking a lot of pride on how relaxed your muscles are. I’d like to think I had something to do with that. We’re not going to quit now. Not to mention, I gave in to you about bringing a third wheel on our vacation. So you owe me this! Besides, I know you love the massages.”

“That’s because you have healing hands.” I do love his massages. My muscles just melt under his touch.

“Healing hands…hmm, I like that. I love our sessions. It gives me an excuse to touch you.”

My mouth drops open as I stare at him. Did he just say that? Is he teasing me again? Chance simply shrugs his shoulders and winks.

“You’re impossible,” I reply.

“I’m impossibly stubborn, lassie. Just remember that.”

Giving up, I transfer onto my bed and Chance sets to work.

The summer ends way too quickly. Chance and I spend every day together. If we’re not together, we’re texting about nothing and everything. Chance and I avoid talking about ALS unless something comes up. And, I purposefully avoid thinking about the fact that he’ll be leaving soon.

He takes me to visit Layna regularly. I tell her all of my deepest secrets, including my fears of losing Chance.

That summer, I also land a job at Marygrove College. They hire me full-time, assisting in some classes as a teacher’s assistant and also to be involved with a research project with a well-known professor. He is working on developing the most modern assistive technologies to help people with various disabilities. This job is perfect for me because nothing would be more gratifying than helping to make somebody’s life a little easier. I’m also able to pursue a Master’s Degree in Education Technology. This will probably help me specialize in using technology with the special needs population.

Before leaving for our Cancun trip, Chance and I plan out the details. To my relief, Lauren is able to join us. Chance has prepared well for the flight and bringing my wheelchair. This will be the first time I’ll be flying since my family has never been able to afford a trip like this.

Once seated in the plane, Chance checks to ensure that my seat belt is on tight before buckling his up. Lauren has her seat a few rows behind us. I’m grateful that Chance has been able to pay for Lauren’s trip as well.

As the plane takes off, my excitement, combined with nervousness, builds. I stare out of the window, smiling wide. Chance grabs my hand and squeezes it. When I turn toward him, he throws me a quick wink. Soon, we’re up in the air and into the open sky, making me feel like I’m on top of the world.

Chance leans toward me and asks, “Happy?”

I smile, squeezing his hand.

“You know your dad pulled me aside to talk to me before we left?”

Surprised, I question him with my eyes since I can’t access my communication device. Chance has gotten very good at reading my body language and my expressions. It’s almost like he can read my mind.

“Yeah, he said, and I quote, ‘That’s my baby, Chance. She’s never been too far away from me. You make sure you take good care of her, you hear?’”

I giggle.

Chance laughs with me. “So I said, ‘Sir, I will protect her with my life.’”

I roll my eyes at his dramatic reply. I think my father will always think of me as a baby, even though I am almost twenty-three years old already.

He laughs some more and kisses my cheek. “I’m happy, too,” he whispers.

When we land, the shuttle picks us up. While Chance carries me to a seat in the shuttle, Lauren folds my wheelchair and stores it in the back. It’s already late evening, but my heart flutters with excitement as I smell the tropical breeze. As soon as we reach the resort, the friendly staff pampers our every need. They’re already waiting for us with drinks and carry our luggage to our rooms.

Never been too far from home, let alone out of the country, I’m in awe. The architect and the ethnicity of the place make me want to go exploring, even though I’m exhausted. The Mexican music playing in the background rejuvenates me. I know it’s late, though, so we head straight upstairs to our rooms.

Chance has both of us booked into a two-bedroom suite, while Lauren has her own separate room. Lauren already knows to come into my bedroom in the mornings to help with my bathing and toiletry. Because of the way my life has been through the years, my body is actually trained to use the bathroom on a specific schedule.

Most people would probably not give using the bathroom a second thought. For me, though, this process is very stressful unless I have a plan. Luckily, Lauren knows my schedule very well, so she’ll make sure to be available to help me.

Chance has seen me eat plenty of times, so I’m not too worried about going out to eat with him here. Truth be told, Chance probably understands my body very well. He has attended many of my therapy sessions, not to mention, working with my body every single day during our exercise sessions. Chance knows my limitations and has accepted them. So, before coming on this trip, I promised myself not to worry about anything, but to focus on my restricted time with him. I want this week to be special for both of us. After all, neither of us knows what the future has in store for us. My entire life, I’ve been forced to plan everything—how to get around, who will be picking me up, when to eat. This week, I make a conscious decision to live for the moment.

Chance has purposefully picked a resort that’s more secluded to avoid too much crowd. When we reach our suite, I can’t help but scream in delight. It’s an oceanfront room with a spectacular view of the mass body of water. The décor of the suite is also a Mexican theme with beautiful, bright colors and arched doorways. Besides the two bedrooms, the suite also has a sitting room and a small kitchen. I inhale the refreshing ocean scent and smile when I hear the waves crashing on the shore. Watching my reaction, Chance simply laughs with me.