My Once and Future Love (4 page)

“Thank you.”

She sat in the same place when he came back,
looking small and lost. He crouched down in front of her and
brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Hey, look at me. Don’t be so hard on
yourself, alright? You’re still my Bethie.”

She glanced away. “Whatever that is.”
Wincing, she closed her eyes. “Sorry.”

Couldn’t say later what possessed him to kiss
her, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. He
gently touched his lips to hers, cupping her cheek in his hand. She
gasped in surprise, but tentatively kissed him back. It was slow,
sweet, and…innocent.

He ended the embrace as gently as he started
it, kissed her forehead, and said goodnight.

Chapter Four

When Jacob kissed me, I almost cried.

What the
hell
did he mean by doing
that
? Make the stupid kid feel better for acting like a
fool? I couldn’t sleep after that, and couldn’t move to chase him
for an explanation.

Dammit…

For one brief moment, I thought he wanted me.
Me
. Instead, he got my shirt off and changed his mind.
Wonderful confidence booster, that was. Never drinking alcohol,
deliberately or by accident, again.

As soon as light shone through the windows, I
snuck out and left. It took a while for a cab to come by, but I
finally flagged one down and told him Mrs. Lindsey’s address. The
day was starting out cloudy and even a little hazy with fog in
spots. Summer was weird in this place.

I had a loaned key for the manor, so I
quietly let myself in and went straight to my room. First thing I
did was brush the dead cat out of my teeth. Thought about a shower,
but I was too exhausted and fell into bed with a sleep-shirt on,
instead.

My dreams were full of kissing and losing
him. On repeat.

****

When I came downstairs for breakfast at noon,
Mrs. Lindsey hugged me.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Elizabeth. Jacob
called saying you’d left his apartment and he didn’t know where
you’d gone or when.”

“Sorry to worry you. I came back this morning
and crashed.”

She gave me the Mom Look. “Well, you should
have left a note, even though you are an adult.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled and kept her arm around me when we
turned for the kitchen. “I have an appointment in a bit, but it
shouldn’t take very long. We could go into town if you like.”

“That’d be nice. My stomach’s a little
rumble-y, but I might be up to that by the time you get back.”

“Excellent.” She kissed my cheek and started
walking away. “Oh, and call my son to let him know you’re
safe?”

She left, expecting me to follow her
suggestion.

I was stirring a pot of oatmeal on the stove
when I heard Jacob’s bike pull up out front. Just what I
needed.

“Mother?”

Waiting for him to look in here, I hoped he
wouldn’t. If I could spend the rest of my vacation with Vivian and
run home with the remaining shreds of my dignity, I’d be happy.

“
You
.”

“Oh, good morning, Beth. Did you sleep well?”
I replied, still stirring my breakfast to completion. The oats were
cooked, just needed seasonings and the sprinkle of fruit on
top.

He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around.
“Nice of you to say
goodbye
.”

I rolled my eyes, not planning to rise to his
bait. “One, where else would I go, and two, it was early and I
didn’t want to wake you.”

“Didn’t
plan
on waking me, you
mean.”

“Potato, po-tah-to. Can I eat my breakfast,
or do you need to impersonate my father some more?”

He let go of my robe. “You can be such a
brat.”

“Snappy comeback.” I carried my bowl to the
small breakfast table and sat down to eat.

He sat across from me, glaring with his arms
crossed over his chest. His hair looked like he rode the bike
without his helmet.

After five minutes of him staring at me, I
put down my spoon. “Were you really that worried? Hello, raised by
an Army man. I know how to get myself out of trouble, which I
wasn’t in
.”

“You weren’t there, didn’t leave a note, and
Mum hadn’t seen you. Didn’t know what to think.”

“I took a cab here and went to bed. Sorry, I
was
exhausted
.”

“Not an excuse to be irresponsible.”

“There you go again, talking down to me like
I’m a kid. It’s a
two year age difference
.” I picked up my
bowl to take to my room.

“Adults don’t walk out in the middle of a
conversation.”

Scowling, I turned to him. “They do when it’s
stupid
.”

“Oh,
excuse me
, Miss Straight A’s. Was
I boring you?”

“I didn’t call
you
stupid. I said
this
was stupid.”

He took another step closer, so he looked
down his nose at me. “By all means, go back to America where I’m
not wasting your time.”

“Maybe I
will
,” I said, poking his
chest on the last syllable.

We stared at each other, angry, fired up, and
neither willing to be the first to back down.

Jacob grabbing my shoulders and kissing me
wasn’t part of the plan. It wasn’t a
nice
kiss at all. Our
teeth clashed. He scratched my lip. The stubble on his face chafed
my skin. I dropped the bowl. It shattered on the tile. He picked me
up and set my butt on the table, his lips still on mine. I had one
hand on the back of his neck, my nails leaving soft dents in his
skin. He set my body on fire, the robe I was wearing suddenly too
hot.

“Don’t go,” he said between kisses.

“Wasn’t gonna.”

“Good.” He moved to kissing my throat,
nipping my skin with his teeth.

I squeaked when he bit a particularly
sensitive spot. “Why?”

He pulled back to look at me. “Why what?”

“What is this? You didn’t want me last
night.”

He ran a hand through his hair and let out an
audible breath. “Oh, I wanted you. The way you kiss, Bethie…” He
shivered.

“Oh.”

That was all—physical lust. I slid my feet to
the floor, stepped around him, and started cleaning up the mess of
oatmeal and china.

“What ‘oh’?”

“I hope the bowl wasn’t expensive. I’m so
clumsy sometimes.”

Keep him off-guard and he’ll stop
arguing
.

He crouched down in my way. “Beth, stop
avoiding the question.”

“I get it, that’s all.” I shrugged and picked
up more bits of china.

“Maybe you can enlighten me, then, ‘cause I’m
lost.”

“You like what I can do, so you’re attracted
to me.”

“Well, yeah…but--”

“Jacob, it’s okay. Can you find some paper
towels or something?”

“Uh, yeah…”

He rose and went to the broom closet and
found the towels and a dustpan. I dumped what was in my hand in the
dustpan and stood to wet a paper towel at the sink. At least the
bowl was almost empty when I dropped it, so there hadn’t been much
splatter. Once the floor was spotless again, I washed my hands.

Turning to where he’d been, I came
face-to-face. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me
close.

“Now, where were we?” He closed in on my lips
again. Like a dog with a bone!

I moved my head back. “Someone might see
us.”

He grinned and said, “So we find a more
private room. House is huge, in case you didn’t notice.”

I broke his hold on me. “I’m not like those
groupies.” The girls he was used to might like private corners or
dark hallways, but that wasn’t me.

His eyebrows rose. “What
groupies
?”

“The girls ready to have your babies at the
concert. Don’t tell me you’re oblivious to the attention!”

“We have fans, but what does that have to do
with--”

“
Ugh
.
Men
.”

I stormed out of the kitchen. With any luck,
I’d reach the stairs before he recovered.

“
Will you stop running away from me,
woman?
” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. “What the
hell is your problem?”

“You and your Y chromosome are my problem!
Let me go.”

“No. You’ll just run off.”

“My prerogative. Asshole.”

He brushed my hair off my face with his left
hand. The touch of his fingers on my scalp gave me tingles.

“Afraid to be alone with me?”

Yes. I stuck my chin out, fronting. “Why
should I be?”

His thumb caressed my cheekbone, his fingers
resting on my neck. “You tell me.” His eyes flicked from mine, to
my lips, and back again.

“You have a reputation.”

“Do I?” he said, amused at the notion.

“Well, your mother has suspicions.”

He chuckled at that. “My mother has an
over-active imagination about what I don’t share.”

“Can you blame her? Your career goal is Rock
Star.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Potentially nothing. And potentially
everything. Say you get famous—what will you do with all the
attention? Where will we fit? Who will you know to trust when
everyone wants a piece of you? How will you find privacy?”

“Been reading tabloids?”

I sighed, not wanting another argument. “No.
There are people who want you to succeed and worry about it at the
same time. I know you’re having fun right now…”

We stood apart.

“You think this is a ‘bit of fun’?”

“Well,
yeah
. Isn’t it?”

“Beth, you’re not a fling.”

“Yeah, not yet. And I never would’ve kissed
you last night if I was sober. I can’t just fool around with you
and go home. I won’t.”

“So, what, we pretend it didn’t happen?” He
stepped to me and cupped my cheeks in his hands. “I can’t do
that.”

“Why
not
?”

He opened his mouth to reply, and paused,
searching for the right answer.

I pulled away. “Yeah…
exactly
. You come
up with a good answer,
then
we can talk.”

Before he could see me cry, I fled to my
room.

The bike started up outside after a few
minutes. I went to the window and watched him ride away.

You just
had
to come to
England
. Had
to see Jacob
.
How’s that goin’ for
ya?

Bite me.

Pretty hard to accomplish that,
considering I’m your
mind
.

Figure of speech. Go away.

You’re really going to throw away that much
gorgeous just because he’s not in love with you?

I have
standards
.

Oh, come on! Do you really want your first
time to be with some college nerd instead of your hot best friend?
Take advantage of an opportunity here!

Since when is my subconscious such a
slut?

Since she got a taste of what you’ve been
dreaming about for four years. Ain’t my fault you couldn’t crush on
more than one guy at a time.

Oh, shut
up.

Debating with my Id wasn’t going to do any
good. Since I didn’t know when Mrs. Lindsey would be back, I set my
alarm for a half-hour nap.

She knocked on my door while I was dressing
after my shower.

“Come in.”

My door opened. “Nice legs.” Male voice.

I froze, sunscreen half rubbed into my skin.
“Thought you were your mother.”

He shut my door. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“She’ll be back any minute.” I closed the cap
on the bottle, my legs now sufficiently protected. My skin got
sunburns from beach scenes on TV.

He came closer. “Got plans?”

“Yes.”

“To do what?”

“I don’t know. Stuff. Why are you here?” I
backed into the dresser. Dammit
.
Felt like the antelope
about to be caught by the lion.

“Because you’re my favorite girl next to Mum,
of course.” He placed both hands on the dresser behind me, pinning
me in.

“That’s, um, nice, but--”

His lips cut off my sentence. Another
different kiss, this one coaxing me to play his game of seduction,
slowly making my blood boil. One of us moaned.

“Need you, Bethie.”

Again with the lust. “I’m not--”

“Need you in my life. I’ve never wanted to
share.”

I ducked under his arm, needing air. “You
don’t like sharing
anything
. Whine and moan if I steal one
fry.”

He stalked me again. “That’s not what I
meant. Remember how you complained about me not bringing you along
with my friends? I wasn’t excluding you. I wanted our time all to
myself. You’re the only girl I ever trusted in my room.”

My eyes widened at that news. “You never
brought your dates back to the house?”

“Sure, to the den or the kitchen. Not in my
room.”

“Do…do you share your room now?”

He grinned. “Nope.”

Whoa. “You haven’t…in…”

He shook his head. “Not at my place.”

“But…you’ve…?” Had sex
.

“Yeah. If it matters.”

“Ah.” Well, I’d expected that already,
so…well. “I didn’t like being excluded. Back then.”

“I know. I remember.”

I folded my arms in front of my chest. “You
kept saying you were protecting my little-girl-self from the
assumptions of you old people.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not exactly
how I worded it…”

“Point is, you thought of me as a baby sister
until I showed up yesterday.” God, it was only
yesterday
.

“I did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did
not
.

“Did
too
.”

“Spring Break my senior year. You slept over
when your parents were away. I woke up holding you.”

“Nuh-unh. I left when you were asleep.”

“I woke up
before
you did, love, and I
liked it. Liked having you there with your cute little snore
sounds.”

“I do
not
snore!”