My Once and Future Love (10 page)

I retrieved my breakfast and picked up the
phone.

“Lawson residence.” They picked up on the
first ring.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Beth! I just read your e-mail. Sweetie, do
you know what time it is?”

Checking my watch, I did the math. “Crap,
it’s just after one, huh?” I smacked my forehead. “I’m sorry. I
wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. I was still up reading a novel,
but you’re lucky I picked it up before your father heard it.”

Thank God Dad slept like the dead. “Yeah.
Again, sorry.”

“Are you still having a good time, honey?”
Dang sensitive Mom ears.

“Just a little homesick. I was doing a little
laundry and remembered how he gets all weird if he finds a whites
load.”

She laughed. “You should have seen him when
we first got married. Sure, he had no problem stripping those
things off in bed, but--”

“Mom! Eww, stop! TMI!”

That just made her laugh more. “How else do
you think you came to be, Beth?”

“Stork.”

“Ah, you kids… Well, unless there’s something
you need, can we talk later, honey? I need to get to bed.”

“No, sure, later’s good. Sorry about the
hour, again. Sweet dreams, Mom.”

“Thank you, Beth. Have fun today. Be good. We
love you.”

“Love you, too.” I heard her hang up the
phone. Note to self: eight hours earlier, NOT later
.

Still three hours left before Jacob arrived.
I flopped back on the bed and sighed, hoping today would be normal.
We
could
be, if this stupid attraction thing would stop
getting in the way. Otherwise, a month of this was going to drive
me insane.

Maybe a few more days were all I
should
stay.

****

Her door was open. Jacob found her on the
bed, reading a book. He rapped twice on the door.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” he said. “Ready to go?”

She put a bookmark in the book and set it on
the nightstand. “Yeah.” She settled the strap of her bag across her
torso and followed him out. “Where’s the meeting?”

“Deli close to the gig.”

“She’s shooting you tonight?”

“Yeah, but we’re payin’ this time. We need a
cover for the demo sleeve.”

“Explains the haircut,” she said behind
him.

He reached the first floor. “Yeah.” He ran a
hand over his locks. “Saw a barber this mornin’.” It was shorter on
the sides, with the top left long enough to slick back or spike. No
more bleached tips.

She wore the same jeans from last night, and
a plain blue tee, her hair pulled back into a French braid. No
make-up, no earrings, no perfume—just Beth.

Didn’t make him want her less.

Pushing that thought aside, he opened the
front door and walked to the bike, passing her the extra helmet.
She climbed on behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle,
gripping her arms instead of his waist.

“You can hold on to me, love. That’s how this
works.”

“I’m fine.”

He sighed and started the bike. At least
after a few times now, she no longer felt terrified behind him,
though having her wrapped tightly around him was nice. They needed
to talk later. He hated when it got awkward between them.

Kit was already at the deli. She was around
thirty, with tousled ice-blonde hair that grazed her cheekbones.
Standing to greet them when they walked in, she was taller than
Beth.

“Hey, Jake. Nice to see you’re only--” She
checked her watch. “Five minutes late.”

“Traffic.” He nudged Beth forward. “This is
Beth Lawson.”

“Hi.” She offered a handshake.

“Kit Vokac. You’re interested in pro
photography?” She took her seat and gestured they should do the
same.

“Yeah. I’m rarely without a camera these
days, but I’ve been hooked since I was a kid,” Beth said.

Kit nodded. “Well, I’ll say first you won’t
get rich by it, unless you’re very, very lucky, so if fame and
glory’s what you’re after, I’m not workin’ with ya.”

“It’s not. My mother used to have local
gallery showings, but she only made enough to buy new equipment
here and there. I’m in it for love and I want to learn.”

Kit shrugged. “Good enough, then. You can
observe tonight and we’ll see how it goes.”

“Beth won’t disappoint you,” he said.

“Well, I gotta run, kids.” Kit stood. “See
you later.”

Beth kicked his shin when they were
alone.

“Ow. What was that for?”

“I can speak for myself. You didn’t need to
interject.”

“
Sorry
.”

She sighed. “What time are you meeting at the
club?”

“’Round six.”

“Fine. I’ll see you later.” She stood and
started for the door. He hopped up and caught her arm.

“Where are you going?”

“Exploring. I’m on vacation, remember?” She
folded her arms under her breasts, jerking out of his grip.

“You don’t know where anything is, Beth.”

“I have a map.”

Bloody stubborn woman
.
“Are you really
mad enough over one interruption to run away from me?”

She rolled her eyes and turned for the door.
“Get over yourself.”

He followed her out to the sidewalk. “Doesn’t
take a genius to see you’re still mad about last night, love.”

“Fine, yes, the whole week has been a lesson
in frustration. Happy? I want things to go back to how they
were.”

“What
things
?”

“This.” She gestured around them. “Us. I’m
tired of fighting with you and being confused. It’s too much too
fast, and I still have to go home.”

“You want me to forget, Beth? I can’t do
that.” She was already in his blood, his soul.

“Be my friend, Jacob. Or I’m leaving
tomorrow.”

“That’s not fair.”

She turned her gaze away to watch the cars
passing by. “It’s what I’ve decided.”

If that was how she wanted it. “Then I’ll
miss you.”

She looked up in surprise, then nodded.
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah.” He pivoted on his heel and walked to
the bike before he did something embarrassing or stupid.

He got halfway home before he thought
what
have I done?
One week…god, one soddin’ week, and she’d turned
his world and his heart upside-down. If she’d just stop bein’ so
damn
afraid
…

****

I wandered London for almost four hours
before going back to the Lindsey house.

Congratulations, Beth…couldn’t even date a
guy for one week. Good job.

“It’s
his
fault. He wants more than I
can give.” I threw another large crumb of bread to the sparrows on
the deck.

“Elizabeth! Phone call, dear.”

“Coming.” I left the half-eaten roll on the
patio table and went inside.

Maybe Jacob changed his mind?

Vivian handed me the cordless. “It’s your
father.”

“Oh.” Daddy? What would he call me here for?
“Hello?” I carried the phone to my room.

“Elizabeth. I wanted to say something while
your mother’s out of the house.”

“Dad, I’m fine. Perfectly safe. Ten fingers
and ten toes--”

“It’s not about your trip. Look, your mother
doesn’t want you to know until you come back, but she’s going in
for a biopsy Monday.”

“Biopsy? O-of what?” The color drained out of
my skin.

“She found a lump, honey. I think you should
be here, but it’s your choice. As she keeps reminding me, you’re an
adult now.” A door closed in the background.

He hung up without letting me reply. Of all
the things to guilt me with…

No, it wasn’t about guilt…he just
communicated in his usual awkward fashion and let me deal with the
consequences. My legs gave out and my butt landed on the bed.

A
lump
. A lump in my
mom
.

The phone started making that noise of a
disconnected call and I turned it off.

Would they know when they looked at the…the
thing? There would be tests, right, and waiting…that’s what you
always heard. People frustrated by the waiting.

Vivian knocked softly on my open door.
“Elizabeth, you’re white as a sheet. Is everything alright?”

I felt my head turn toward her, though I
hadn’t told it to. “My, uh, my mom’s having surgery Monday. He
wanted me to know.”

She came and sat next to me, taking the phone
from my hand. “Is it serious?”

“I don’t know. He said it’s for a
biopsy.”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll turn out alright. Do
you want to schedule a flight right away?”

“I…I have something to do tonight, but…can
you find out what’s available tomorrow?”

“Of course.” She pulled me into her arms. “I
care a great deal for your family, dear. Whatever you need.”

Tears coursed down my cheeks onto her blouse.
I stayed in the hug and closed my eyes, willing myself to be strong
until I had information. Lawsons didn’t panic.

“Thanks,” I said, pulling away.

Vivian handed me a tissue. “I’ll make those
calls.”

Once she left, I closed the door and changed
clothes for tonight. The band t-shirt on, I combed out the braid in
my hair and brushed it up into a high ponytail. After wiggling
mascara on my lashes, I took out the chubby eye pencil I’d bought
on a whim and colored my lids smoky blue. Surprisingly, the dark
color didn’t look scary on my image in the mirror. My glasses back
in place and a swipe of gloss completed my routine.

I double-checked there was a fresh roll in my
camera—digital was still too expensive—and went downstairs to wait
for the cab I ordered. My hands shook during the ride to the club.
Whether from the shock about Mom, seeing Jacob, or nerves about
working with Kit, I couldn’t say.

From the outside, this was a nicer venue than
last Saturday’s. Inside, it was twice the size and, from my limited
knowledge, pretty dang cool. Jacob’s band was setting up their
instruments onstage for the sound check. He walked out of the back
with Kit, discussing something. She had a tripod set up in the
middle of the room with a digital Canon on top. He hopped on the
stage and picked up his guitar.

“Hey,” she greeted me.

“Nice camera.”

She grinned. “Yeah. What you got?”

“My mom’s old Pentax. It’s not fancy, but she
had a lot of lenses.”

“Hey, gotta start somewhere.” She put her eye
to her camera, then adjusted settings. “Wait until you get up to
editing software. Lots of fun. Been in a dark room, yet?”

“Practically grew up in it. My brother’s
former bedroom is Mom’s image factory.”

“Awesome.” She stepped away from the tripod.
“Well, until they turn on the lights, I’m in limbo, so let’s have a
seat.”

“Okay.” I pulled out a chair at the nearest
table.

He started singing
You Got It All
. He
hadn’t looked at me, yet, since I walked in the door. It hurt. Kit
watched me watch him play.

“How long you and Jake been somethin’?”

“Huh? Oh, we met my freshman year of high
school. How long have you been friends?”

“Wouldn’t say ‘friends’. I’m a fan, and
they’ve been appreciative of my work.”

“Oh.” Yet Jacob felt comfortable asking her
for a favor?

“Don’t get me wrong. He’d be good for a
tumble or two—look at him, but I like my men seasoned,” she said.
“Boy put out his best sales pitch to get me to meet you, though. I
don’t like people lookin’ over my shoulder, but it was hard to say
no.”

My cheeks warmed. “He’s like that sometimes,
but I don’t want to be in your way. If you’d rather e-mail me a few
shots with some notes, that’s fine. I didn’t ask him to bug
you.”

“Nah, it’s cool, as long as you don’t mind
bein’ a gopher.”

I shook my head. “I like to keep busy.”
Anything to keep from running to a phone to talk to Mom.

The house lights dropped and the spots and
colored accent lights shone on the stage. Kit got up and started
snapping shots while the band played through
Figured It Out
.
She gave them a thumb’s up at the end and started dismantling the
tripod.

“You’re done?” I asked.

“With the paid gig, yeah. I’m stickin’ around
to shoot the live show.”

“Oh.” I took the collapsed tripod she handed
me.

“My bag’s over there,” she said, pointing to
the wall at my left.

She had a duffle by the stage door. I put the
tripod inside and crossed past the stage on my way back. He
crouched in front of his amp, pulling the cord out. Our eyes met,
but his expression was blank.

“Break a leg,” I said. He carried his guitar
offstage, ignoring me. Ouch again
.
“Jacob…” I went after
him.

“What?” he asked in the hall.

“I have to leave tomorrow. Something’s come
up.”

He kept walking past the others. “Have a safe
flight.”

I caught up and touched his arm. “Can you
stop being mad at me for a second? I’m serious. My dad called and I
have to go. I don’t know if I’ll get to say goodbye.”

He finally turned around. “What
happened?”

“My mom’s having a thing on Monday. He wanted
me to know. She didn’t. I don’t want to talk about it right now,
but…I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“Are you okay?”

I shrugged, not sure how to answer, or if I
could. He stepped forward to give me a one-armed hug and kissed my
forehead.

“I’m sorry, Bethie.”

Several things popped in my head to say, but
all I did was inhale his scent. The lack of his presence at home
would be a hole in my life when I could need him most and I wanted
to memorize everything.

Chapter Nine

Kit instructed me on her camera through the
opening act. We were working with the same terms, just the controls
were different. Had to admit—seeing instant results was pretty
cool.

Once Jacob’s band came on, she moved through
the crowd, getting shots from all sides. I kept watch over her
stuff at a table along the wall. She came back to me twice for
drink refills, once to switch memory cards.