My Favorite Senior Moments (5 page)
Read My Favorite Senior Moments Online
Authors: Karen O'Connor
“I'll bet this is your great-grandchild,” purred Nancy. “How adorable.” She asked the girl's name and then continued adding her two-cents worth to the conversation. Jane elbowed her friend, signaling her to move on, but Nancy didn't take the hint. Finally Jane interrupted and announced that lunch would soon be served so they'd better get moving.
With that Nancy plopped down on the bench beside Dottie and took her small hands in her own. “So nice to meet you, Dottie, and your dear family. I bet your son and daughter-in-law love knowing you are here, safe and soundâthe same way I feel about Jane.” Nancy gestured to the flowers and trees and stone work in the garden. “This seems to me the perfect place to be this side of heaven.”
“Don't push it,” Dottie announced. “I'm in no rush to get to
heaven. As for this being a nice place to beâwell, okay, I'll agree on that tooâ
if
I have to be in a place.”
Today's Thoughts
This is what [Jesus] promised usâeternal life.
1 J
OHN
2:25
Thank you, Lord, that you've gone before me and are preparing a place for me with you in heaven.
Marti phoned her
friend Gretchen to congratulate her on her eighty-fifth birthday. Gretchen didn't seem too happy about reaching that milestone.
“I'd rather forget this day, if you don't mind. Getting old is wearing on me, if you know what I mean. There's one thing and then another to contend withâaching knees, tired eyes, sore toes, pinched nerves. You don't want to head in this direction, Marti. There's no going backwardâthat's the problem.”
Marti, being the positive thinking person she is, couldn't take another earful of Gretchen's negative response. Marti had only called to say “happy birthday” and invite her friend to lunch. But at this rate, she'd give the second part of her idea a second thought. Did she really want to sit down over a salad and listen to Gretchen recite her woes?
On the other hand, poor Gretch is a widow now and unable to enjoy life as she once did. Maybe I'm being selfish. I'll give her another chance.
“Gretchen, have you heard the latest statistics regarding aging? They are really quite amazing. For example, the experts now say that women who are 60 today are actually more like age 50. So that means at age 85 you're the new 75. How about that? You just bought yourself 10 more years. Congratulations!”
“Don't you believe a word of it!” Gretchen shot back. “Somebody's lying to you. When you reach 85 you'll know what I'm talking about.” And with that she said goodbye and hung up.
Marti wouldn't be discouraged that easily. She looked in the mirror and smiled. “Congratulations to me!” she said to her reflection. “When you turn 63 next week you'll be the new 53. Even if it's a lie, I choose to believe it.”
Today's Thoughts
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I
SAIAH
46:4
I may count my life in years, but by your grace, O Lord, I am as young as I feel. Thank you for giving me life.
Sally developed some
health concerns following her eightieth birthday. She made an appointment with her doctor, and afterward he scheduled a variety of tests to see what was going on. Two weeks later she returned to his office to review the results.
Doctor Ames studied her file. “How old are you?”
“Eighty,” Sally said proudly. “In case you don't know, I'm a dedicated and involved grandmother. I lead an active life, including holding a part-time job. In fact, I've held my position as a receptionist for the last 30 years.”
The doctor looked at her againâmore intently this time. “How old did you say you are?”
“Eighty.” She winked. “I hope you find that hard to believe.”
“I do find it hard. You don't look 80. You look amazingâI mean, you look very healthy.”
Sally smiled. “Well, being 80 is a new experience. I've only been this age for a few days.”
Doctor Ames chuckled and closed Sally's file. “I'm happy to report there is no cause for alarm. You don't have anything to worry about. Aches and pains are age-related and, as you said, âBeing 80 is a new experience.' Happy belated birthday. Come see me again in six months, and we'll see how you're doing with being 80.”
Today's Thoughts
Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning.
J
OB
11:17
Thank you, Lord, that even in the late years of my life I can triumph over darkness with the light of your love and grace.
Lucille pulled up
to the curb in front of Janet's house. It had become their custom to go to church together each Sunday morning. Lucille admired her friend's stamina at age 79. She thought Janet had managed to hang on to her looks, as well. Janet had a lovely complexion, sparkling blue eyes, and a crown of softly curled white hair. In addition, she dressed appropriately for her age. She knew just what parts of her body to conceal and which ones to reveal, which were fewer with each advancing year, as she often admitted.
This particular morning Janet walked out of her home and down the three porch steps on her way to Lucille's car. Lucille noticed how especially pretty Janet appeared in a light-blue pantsuit that matched the color of her eyes. Her fingernails were beautifully manicured as well.
As Janet slid into the passenger seat, Lucille took the opportunity to compliment her friend. “You look absolutely stunning today,” she said cheerily.
“Thanks,” Janet replied. “It's not so easy anymore.”
“Well you make it look easy.” With that Lucille pulled into the street. The two friends chuckled a lot as they talked about the effort it took to keep up appearances when their bodies did everything they could to give the women a hard time.
“We just have to fight back,” said Lucille.
“I'm with you.” Janet pulled out a coupon she'd received from
a local spaâa two-for-one price for an entire day's indulgence, including a massage, a facial, and time in the sauna.
The women gave each other high fives and agreed to sign up the very next day.
Today's Thoughts
Walk in obedience to all that the L
ORD
your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days.
D
EUTERONOMY
5:33
Dear God, I welcome the coming years regardless of what they bring because through it all you lead the way.
Chuck was convinced
he was getting old. No question about it. Half the time lately he didn't know what day it was. Monday to Friday seemed to race by with no particular difference between one day and the next.
When he'd been a workingman, it was easy to know which day was which. Mondays were laundry days at his house. His wife, Grace, had the washing machine and dryer spinning all day and part of the evening.
Tuesdays were his lunch dates with the guys in his shop.
On Wednesdays Chuck and Grace hosted an evening Bible study and potluck dinner.
Thursdays were date nights. He and Grace enjoyed their weekly pizza at Hal's, followed by ice cream cones.
And Fridays, well they signaled the end of the workweek, so Chuck never had a problem remembering those days.
But now that Chuck was retired, all the days were a jumble except weekends. He kept track of Saturdays and Sundays because of golf and church. What was he to do to keep track of the rest of the time? He couldn't bear the thought of being an old geezer who was falling by the side of the road.
One afternoon Chuck poured out his woes to his seven-year-old grandson, Lance, as they were going home from the boy's baseball practice.
Maybe Lance will sympathize with me. Grace surely doesn't because she can't stand the idea of being married to an old man.
Lance wrinkled his brow for a moment after listening to Chuck's lament. Then he brightened. “Grandpa, I have a great idea. Look at your vitamin case on the kitchen table. There's a little section for each day's pills, right?”
Chuck nodded.
“Well, all you have to do is look at the name of the day when you take your vitamins. I'll get you started. Today is Tuesday. When we get back to your house, we'll open the compartment for tomorrow. Wake up in the morning and look at your open vitamin case. You'll see it's Wednesday. You'll never be mixed up again, I promise.”
“But what if I forget to take my pills or to open the next little section?”
“Well, Grandpa, that's my best idea. You're on your own if that doesn't work. Mom says we all have to take responsibility for our own actions. Know what I mean?”
Chuck nodded. He sure did.
Today's Thoughts
You, L
ORD
, keep my lamp burning.
P
SALM
18:28
Lord, Lance has a point. I need to keep on keeping on till you call me home. Please sharpen my mind and set my will with yours in all things.
Martha's bad hair
day wasn't due to wind or rain. It started with shampooing. “I love the little containers of shampoo and conditioner you get when you stay overnight in a hotel,” said Martha. “They don't contain the additives and fragrances like the name brands I usually buy, and I love how they work on my hair. When my daughter and I go out of town, we always gather up the free samples and take them home.”
During one visit, while getting ready to step into the shower, Martha pulled off her glasses, got her towel ready, and placed her cell phone by the tub. She had everything within easy reach. “Then I remembered I needed more conditioner. I grabbed a couple of bottles from the counter and stepped into the shower. I shampooed and rinsed and then reached for the conditioner. A thought hit me:
Did I get the right bottle?
I tried to read the label, but without my glasses all I could see was what appeared to be a long word. âIt must be conditioner,' I decided.”
For fear of running out of hot water, Martha quickly shook out a handful from the bottle and rubbed it through her hair. In a matter of seconds her head felt sticky and gooey. She rinsed it immediately, but the more water she used, the worse it got. The water turned lukewarm and then cold.
“What did I put in my hair?” she shouted. Panicking, she grabbed the bottle of shampoo from the shower, finished that one and used another one before she finally had a clean head of hairâand in cold
water! She stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel around her to get warm.
She reached for her glasses to see what she'd used. Moisturizing lotion! No wonder it was sticky and gooey. But her hair did feel silky and soft. Not all bad after all.
Today's Thoughts
The Spirit helps us in our weakness.
R
OMANS
8:26
Lord, you don't keep me from making big or little mistakes, but you do assure me that you're with me and will guide me through the situation. Thank you for being with me always.
Anita and her mother
, Ingrid, chose a cozy booth in their favorite café. They were going to enjoy their monthly lunch together.
Ingrid started the conversation. “We had a wonderful gift fair at church last weekend. You'd be surprised at how much we brought in from the sale of third-world goods. And a neighbor church sold even more of them. It was so exciting to hear about such a good response.”
Anita smiled so her mother would know she was interested and paying attention. She commented, “So the total was about $105k?”
“Your temperature is 105!” Ingrid's voice rose. “Oh my! You need a doctor! Honey, you're really sick. Let's go to urgent care right now. I'll drive while you pray.” She put down the menu, reached for her car keys, and stood.
“Mom, wait! I'm fine, really. Do you have your hearing aids in?” Anita asked. But she was too late. Ingrid was already hurrying out the door.
Today's Thoughts
“I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,” declares the L
ORD
.
J
EREMIAH
30:17
God, thank you for giving me the most precious kind of well-beingâa soul redeemed by Christ Jesus.
It was the
first day of a long bus trip through Spain. While strolling along a cobblestone walk during the first break, Michelle stumbled, fell, and blacked out. When she came to, she was mortified. Men and women were clustered around. Seeing she was conscious, they kept asking if she wanted to go to the hospital. From the expressions on their faces, they were clearly worried.
