My Favorite Senior Moments (4 page)

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Authors: Karen O'Connor

BOOK: My Favorite Senior Moments
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“While I was cutting I tapped his bald spot and said, ‘Hair today—gone tomorrow!' ”

Harold smiled. “Yep, that would do it, all right,” he quipped.

Today's Thoughts

People look at the outward appearance, but the L
ORD
looks at the heart.

1 S
AMUEL
16:7

Lord, sometimes I am so vain—whether it has to do with my hair, or my talent, or my physical body. I'm happy to be reminded that though I must keep myself clean and in good order, you are more concerned with the condition of my heart.

12

Not Again…

Laura and her
friend Cheryl decided to run a few errands together. “I need a new phone,” Laura said. “Ours has gone out so it's time for a new one. Please help me remember. I'm having a lot of senior moments lately.”

Cheryl agreed. She wanted to make a few stops of her own. The women joked about their forgetfulness. As Cheryl pulled into the shopping center and parked, Laura mused, “I wonder if just reading and hearing about senior moments in others makes it contagious.”

Sure enough, as the women made their final stop at the electronics store, Laura started feeling jittery. She was supposed to get something here. What was it she needed? She ran through a list in her mind but nothing clicked. Cheryl walked behind her and asked, “What brand of phone do you like?”

Whew!
Laura blew out a huge breath. Her friend had saved her the embarrassment of having to admit that she'd forgotten what they came for! She'd narrowly avoided having to chalk up another senior moment. She smiled as she shared her relief with her friend.

As the duo walked out to the parking lot, Cheryl broke out laughing. “Now it's my turn to forget. I hope I got what I came to the mall for!”

“Looks like we might have to go home and start all over,” Laura joked. “You're sure to think of what you forgot the moment we walk in the door.”

Today's Thoughts

The L
ORD
God is a sun and shield; the L
ORD
bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

P
SALM
84:11

Thank you, Lord, for good friends who understand me. I also thank you for allowing me to be totally human, even with all my failings and foibles. I love knowing you take care of me no matter what.

13

A Real Donation

Marni picked up
the mail and shuffled through it, separating the junk from the real thing. She let out an exhausted sigh. “So much waste,” she muttered as she turned on the shredder. Just then she noticed a postcard from a local charity. A driver would be in her neighborhood in a few days, and if she put a marked bag of her discards at the curb, he would pick them up.

What a great service!
Marni hated lugging unwanted items to the drop-off spot in town. Now she'd be spared that chore. The next morning she went through her clothes closet, the garage, and the kitchen, gathering up all the shoes, jackets, blouses, knickknacks, and kitchenware she no longer wanted or used. What a relief to declutter her house and, at the same time, help people in need. By the afternoon she had one large box ready to set at the curb and two large black bags, each one properly marked for the charity. When the truck arrived a few days later, Marni watched through the front window as the driver loaded her box and bags onto the truck. That was that. She felt good.

Later in the week, Marni dressed for a luncheon she and a friend had agreed to attend. She chose her lavender skirt and matching sweater. She reached into her closet for her black pumps—the new ones she'd purchased on sale at the department store just weeks before. But they weren't there. They weren't at the door where she often left her shoes when she came in from outside. Maybe they were still in the store box… no, she remembered tossing the
shoebox into the recycling bin. Marni combed the house, but the black pumps were gone.

Then it hit her! She'd probably put them in with the items for the charity.
Oh no!
How could she have made such a mistake? She'd intended to give away her old pumps, not her new ones. She sank into a chair. What now? How embarrassing to call the charity office and ask to have them returned. Anyway, they were probably long gone to someone who recognized a great buy at the thrift shop. What a stupid mistake she'd made and what a loss. Marni sat for a few moments, thinking about what she'd done. Then suddenly it came to her. God was in this with her. He must have had a special person in mind for those shoes—someone who really needed a pair just that size. She might never find out who the person was, but she could be sure her new shoes were a blessing to someone.
Thank you, God, for using me in a way I'd never have thought of on my own.

Today's Thoughts

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

M
ATTHEW
7:12

Lord, please help me give to others from my abundance not merely from what I no longer want or need.

Age-Old Challenges

14

Licensed to Age

Pat visited her
sister Liz, a resident of Lakeside Retirement Living. Everywhere Pat turned there were reminders of her season of life—gray-haired men, women walking with canes or walkers, emergency pull cords in each room in case of a fall or accident, chair exercise classes, a retirement community bus, a memory-care facility for those with dementia, and prunes on the breakfast buffet.”

“Oh dear,” she mumbled to herself. “It's that time of life. I never thought I'd actually reach this stage, but here I am. I'm glad to be a visitor, though, and not a resident—at least not yet.”

The day after Pat arrived for the weekend she took a long walk on her own. She needed to reassure herself that she could still get around without assistance. She also needed a dose of sunshine and blue sky to keep her from getting down about getting older. As she rounded a corner on her way back to her sister's apartment, she spotted a car with a personalized license plate that read: UR2OLD.

“Excuse me!” Pat said louder than she expected. But her ire was up. “Talk about yourself, you oldster!” she barked at the anonymous person who owned the car. “Don't judge me.”

Pat then took a breath and calmed down, mentally editing the letters on the plate to suit herself: UROLD2. If that were her license plate, she'd make a point of parking right next to UR2OLD!

Today's Thoughts

This God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.

P
SALM
48:14

Thank you, Lord, that age is of no importance to you. I am ageless in your sight. What matters is the state of my soul. May I always walk in your light.

15

My Way or the Highway

Les and Jan
enjoy a good wrestling match on TV, but when they resort to wrestling with each other they're not so compatible. In fact, according to Jan, they can get into it over the most trivial issues.

One day they argued about what was the best route to take from their home to their friends' home. The Raymonds lived about twenty minutes away by car. Jan shared, “Les insisted on going the longer way, which adds three to five minutes, depending on traffic conditions.” But then Jan admitted their ongoing conflict is less about the route than it is about her idea of what saves time. “His route has stop signs but mine has signals.”

Jan confesses to being a risk-taker. “I'm less law-abiding than my husband. In my opinion it's okay to drive over the speed limit in order to race through a yellow light. I hate delays and dislike waiting even more. And what about stop signs? Although I know it's the law to come to a full stop at an intersection, it hardly seems necessary when no one else is even close. ‘Brief' stops seem equivalent to rushing through a yellow light to me.”

Jan does admit that the route with stop signs is safer than the one with signal lights, where you have to guess whether to speed up or slow down because the light could change at any moment and you don't want to be caught in the middle of the road. That would be a crash for sure.

One day, Jan decided to test out her theory. She headed to the Raymonds' house alone, choosing to take her husband's way. “I
wanted to clock it while I was behind the wheel to prove my point once and for all.” Because she wasn't tensed up by gauging whether she'd make the lights like she would on her route, Jan found herself daydreaming a bit, suddenly unconcerned about time or speed. “I could see the tortoise and hare scenario playing out before my eyes. The slower way was definitely inching along at a more rapid pace than I'd realized when I was arguing my point with my husband.”

And then she noticed his way went alongside the exquisite ocean too. “Had I really been so set on winning my argument and capturing a couple extra minutes that I'd missed the beautiful sea—a view few people get to enjoy while driving? Yes!”

Jan returned home that day a bit chagrined. She apologized to her husband for being argumentative and admitted that the moments she “wasted” while going the longer way were priceless compared to the minutes she would have saved going her way.

Today's Thoughts

The farmer knows just what to do for God has given him understanding.

I
SAIAH
28:26
NLT

Thank you, Lord, that when I don't know which way to turn, you point the way. And when I insist on my own way, I'm so glad you still love me and guide me back to your way.

16

Somewhere in the Middle

Louise loved to
take long, leisurely walks around the retirement complex where she lived. She was at the age of needing a bit of help though. She always carried her cell phone, but sometimes she forgot her key. It was a good thing the security guards had sets of master keys on their belts at all times. A guard would zip over in a moment when she called to say she was stranded in front of her door.

Occasionally she felt a bit wobbly on her legs, so if she needed assistance taking a shower or dressing, she could call for help. And, of course, it was nice not to have to cook anymore… or clean… or water the lawn. All those chores were taken care of by various members of the staff.

Louise also found it useful to wear an identification tag around her wrist with her name, cottage address, and her son's phone number in case of emergency. Overall, she was now happy and satisfied that this was the place she needed to be. She could live out her remaining days in peace and contentment and enjoy the fellowship of her two neighbors. May lived on the right, and June lived on the left.

One day while out walking, Louise suddenly realized she'd forgotten to put on her ID tag.
Oh well, I'm not going far. I'll just take a short stroll today
, she decided. As she was walking, an older man with a huge black dog passed her on the sidewalk. The dog lunged at Louise, and she jumped back, fell down, and bumped her head. She didn't black out, but she sure felt dizzy for a moment or two.

“Oh, ma'am, I'm so sorry!” The gentleman with the dog gushed his apology as he stood by her side. “I don't know what got into Blackie. He's usually very compliant. Please let me help you.”

Louise saw that his dog was sitting quietly now, so she took the man's hand and got to her feet. “I'll be all right. It was just a fright.”

“Let me walk you home. I insist. What's your address?”

She hesitated.

The man looked at her and then broke into a smile. “No worries, ma'am. I'm not a kidnapper. I just want to be sure you return to your cottage safely. Please give me your address.”

By this time Louise was embarrassed. Finally she muttered, “I can't think of the number, but I live between May and June in the retirement complex around the corner.”
Oh dear, he must think I'm off my rocker!
Louise laughed out loud at his funny look. “They're my neighbors,” she clarified.

“Ah,” the man said. “Since I don't know where May and June live, let's play it safe and stop at the administration office. Someone there will be able to help, I'm sure.”

Today's Thoughts

Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the L
ORD
upholds him with his hand.

P
SALM
37:24

I'm glad you're looking out for me, dear God, or who knows what would become of me.

17

Nice Place to Be

Dottie looked forward
to her family's visit each Sunday at the retirement complex she lived in. She attended church with them, and then they enjoyed Sunday brunch together, as well as a little visit in the rose garden. This was the highlight of her week.

One Sunday, as Dottie and her family were having a bit of conversation, her friend Jane walked by with Nancy. Jane introduced Nancy to Dottie and the others. Nancy, the outgoing personality that she was, made small talk, commenting on the rose bushes and the color of Dottie's blouse and skirt. She tickled the chin of the baby in Dottie's daughter's arms.

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