My Body-Mine (7 page)

I rode the edge of the precipice while reveling in the capacity to stir another to near madness. “Please, please, I need to cum,” I begged.

“
With me,” he said. He shed his clothes as he crawled over to me, taking the pillows from behind my head and placing one under my hips. He removed my heels, throwing them over the side of the bed.

So wet from his watching me and my manipulations, I held my G-string to the side as he impaled me in one quick thrust. The angle of my pelvis allowed both of us to watch my undoing.

Marcello towered over me and imprisoned my mouth. His kiss spoke of the future, burning through the past and all my mistakes. His mouth strummed against mine, bringing me into his song. We gyrated together until he backed away, taking my breath with him.

He rose up on his knees, carrying my lower body with him. The adjusted angle of his penetration exposed my clit for play. “Slap that clit of yours for me,” his husky voice demanded.

As he vigorously rammed into me and slowly withdrew his long cock until just the head remained inside, I slapped my clit in rhythm to his assault. Fast and slow, fast and slow, over and over again until I heard myself screaming, “Oh, oh, can I cum, please let me cum, oh my god it’s so good, so good, please, I can’t hold it much longer, oh god!”

He clutched my throat in his left hand, threading his thumb through the D-ring and continuing to batter my pussy. Our eyes locked as he used my neck and hip for leverage. He swung me back and forth against his rock hard phallus, ramming against my uterus. The force made it difficult to spank my clit so I switched to frantically rubbing my engorged nub. So close to the tip off point, I had to vary my pace so I wouldn’t cum without his permission.

The tilt of his head told me everything I needed to know. No longer in control, he thrust in wild abandon, catapulting us up and out, where we both exploded into a shattering release. Marcello growled, spurting repeatedly inside me. My liberation chased his, leaving us sprawled out on the bed together, spent and sated.

“
Incredibile
,” he crooned to me in Italian. I had to agree. If this was his idea of starting from scratch, I for one reveled in it.

With my head on his broad chest and leg lying across his waist, I listened as the thuds of his heartbeat became less violent. As his breathing deepened, I shifted away from him. I removed the collar first and then the rest of the lingerie, dropping each item over the side of the bed. Snuggling against him, for the first time I spent the night in Marcello’s bed, wrapped in his arms.

Although I felt calm and happy as I drifted off to sleep, I rehearsed what to say to Janice and Parker the next day. I could no longer avoid either confrontation.

T
rudging through the mounds of sand piled around the entrance to the beach house, I almost had to swim to get to the steps that led up to the back door of my home. Once at the top of the stairs, I surveyed the area. Someone had built up the beach to keep people away from our place, or maybe I was the only unwanted visitor. I panicked and felt confused as I headed toward the French doors. I wanted to get inside and ask Luke about all the sand. I tried the handle but it wouldn’t budge. Cupping my hands around the sides of my eyes, I leaned forward to peer through the window. I didn’t recognize the furniture or the people who milled about inside. They didn’t notice me so I just stood there, observing their marionette dance.

* * * *

I awoke in Marcello’s room, the bed beside me empty. I lay there for a few minutes trying to process the dream. Stretching my body, I tried to motivate myself to get up and go for a run. Janice tended to sleep late so I had plenty of time to journal my experience with Marcello and list the positions before I forgot them.

Now I had another crazy dream to record. I wondered if I’d ever stop longing for my old life at the beach house. I loved it when Luke had let me help with his photography business. We never could get enough of each other and his slow, skilled lovemaking moved me unlike any I had known. Those memories still rose to the surface but I refused to dwell on them. In truth, the flipside existed as well where at parties, without warning, he’d offered my body as general entertainment. I also couldn’t dismiss the few nights he’d punished me severely for some imagined slight that took days to recover from. I do hate to admit that even on those occasions he had me cumming harder than ever.

Shaking off the wayward thoughts my dream had inspired, I pushed myself up off the bed.

I decided to wait until I heard Janice’s shower go on and surprise her after she got out. I went to my desk, turned on my computer and signed in. While the programs loaded I used the bathroom and readied myself for a long run on the beach. I checked my inbox first and to my surprise I had an email waiting for me from the publisher. As ridiculous as it may sound, I did not open it. Somehow dealing with a possible rejection, along with everything else I had on my plate that day, seemed more than I could stomach. Finding nothing else important, I lost myself in my writing.

Last night with Marcello really surprised me. I’m not exactly sure what I had anticipated but the intensity of our passion and the strength of our connection surpassed our previous encounters. I can’t fathom I’ll continue to escape so easily. The position training has me worried about the future. I have to admit the collar turned out to be less horrible than I imagined. He didn’t lead me around like a dog, thankfully, and the collar rather complemented the outfit and enhanced the experience.

My room shared a wall with Janice’s and I heard her moving around. Saving my journal and closing my laptop, I reclined in the plush chair in the corner. I read a few more pages of my novel but set it aside when I heard the shower in Janice’s room. I put on my running shoes and, after heading to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, sat on Janice’s bed and waited.

“
Oh,” she said, as she entered the room and glanced up from drying her hair with a towel.

I envied her curves
and full pendulum breasts
. My rather fit and firm body contrasted with her fuller hour-glass shape.
S
he rivaled any female icon currently in the news. It amazed me that both Luke and Marcello still found my look appealing after being with someone so exquisite.

She stood there buck naked without saying a word.

“
Are you okay? Are we okay?” I said, worried and yet defensive as well.

“
Not really,” she said, veering away from me toward her closet.

“
Why do I feel like it has to do with me? Have you been avoiding me?”

“
Not everything is about you, Jane.”

“
I’m well aware of that,” I said to her back. “Please, Janice. The only way we can work this out is for you to talk to me.”

She dragged on her work shirt then twisted about to face me. She made brief eye contact before concentrating on her hands as she closed the buttons on her top. “This is really about Marcello and me,” she said.

I sat quietly, hoping she would continue. We stayed there in silence as she slipped on her panties and black pants.

“
Marc is obsessed with you and it’s a bit hard to take,” she finally blurted out.

“
How so?” I said, not really understanding what she meant.

“
We haven’t had sex—rough or otherwise—for weeks now. No discipline either. And although you like to pretend you don’t like that part, I have no such compunctions.”

“
But what about—”

“
Him fucking my throat?”

“
Well, yes …”

“
That’s the only sex we have.” Janice bent down to slip on her shoes.

“
Is that what you fought about?”

Finally facing me, she put her hands on her hips and said, “I told him I plan to take another lover if it continues this way.”

“
And that’s why he was mad?” I said, raising my hands, palms up, in question.

“
I think he was angry because I pointed out the obvious,” she said, with an unfriendly smirk.

“
Which is what?”

“
That he’s in love with you,” Janice said, sadness imbuing the confession.

“
As he is with you. So what?”

“
No, nothing like he is with me. Nothing at all like it.”

“
Are you sure you aren’t overreacting? He did mention an event coming up.”

“
Jane, do you think I’m stupid or unaware?”

“
Of course not. It’s just that I know how strongly he feels about you.”

“
Do you have any idea what it’s like to be second choice to two men?”

“
You’re bringing Luke into this? Like I’m his first choice? Good god, Janice, he left us both and he didn’t leave you for me. How does he even count in this scenario?” I asked, throwing
up
my hands again. “Have you told Marcello how you feel, I mean about being second choice?”

“
Yes, and he said I was being ridiculous, that he just needed more time with you now to get you acclimated to the lifestyle.”

“
But you don’t believe him?”

“
I believe what his cock is telling me and it’s saying he is so lost in love with you that he can’t do more than fuck my mouth to get off.”

“
Shit. The last thing I wanted was to bring drama into the house.”

“
You slept in Marc’s room last night, right?”

“
Yes, why?”

“
That’s what I thought.”

Sitting on the edge of her bed, scanning the gorgeous woman in front of me, I recalled a similar confrontation with Luke. I had just returned home from my very first stay with Marcello—a stay Luke had insisted on as punishment, because I’d rifled through his belongings. Marcello could be far more extreme in his discipline and I felt terrified to go there even to the point of running away from our home. In the end I went anyway, to win back Luke’s love and affection.

When I returned, Luke wanted to know if Marcello and I had eaten in the kitchen of his restaurant or out in the dining room. Somehow that had profound meaning for him, just as my sleeping in Marcello’s bed held for Janice.

“
I’m out of my depth here,” I said. “I’ve never shared another man like this and I don’t know how it’s supposed to work. Ultimately it’s not in my control anyway. Marcello decides when and where and how often. Should we all sit down and talk it out? I’m open to doing whatever it takes.”

Janice shook her head. “There is no simple solution. I’m sorry it’s affecting our friendship but it is.”

I needed to talk to Marcello and check out Janice’s assessment of the situation. I just hoped he would be honest with me. But first, I had to go for my run. Between Janice’s troubles and what might ensue that night with Parker, I needed to fortify myself with exercise.

I drove over to the beach and parked in my usual spot. Instead of running south—my typical route—I headed in the opposite direction. The dream stayed with me and I felt the beach house beckoning. Not acknowledging right away where I was heading, I enjoyed the sight of the tide crashing into the shore. The light breeze of fall accompanied the hot sun. Feeling powerful in my body, I increased the pace as the hard alternative music blared in my headphones, inspiring the rhythm of my sneakers in the sand.

The landscape across from the ocean changed as the houses began to appear. I ran farther inland, closer to the homes on the beach until I stood behind our old place.

Why was I really here? I wondered, as I lingered by the steps leading up to the pool. I guess I wanted to see who owned the place I had loved, still loved. I contemplated the life I mourned, a life that had nearly led to my demise. The last time I had been at my house, I waited for Luke, Marcello and Janice to find me and to see the pain and devastation they had caused. Fortunately they arrived sooner than I had planned, saving me from the overdose of pills.

I scanned the beach and saw no lounge chairs or beach paraphernalia.

Before I could change my mind, I flew up the stairs two at a time to the back of the house.
Two stacked chairs and lounges stood to the right of the French doors, but n
o
other
outdoor furniture occupied the space and the pool had been covered. Maybe someone bought the house for a vacation place, I thought. Feeling less afraid of being identified as a trespasser, I strode over to the French doors and peered in. My breath caught in my throat and acids flooded my stomach.

Nothing had changed. The furniture we purchased still sat in their original places. Dust covered the kitchen table and all the canisters I purchased still lined the counters.
Fuck!

I stood there, completely stunned, gawking at our untouched home. I could have sworn Marcello had told me Luke had sold the house or at least put it on the market. I made a beeline to the side of the house to see if my office window remained unlocked. I carefully waited until a car passed then peered inside to see my desk in the same spot and the loveseat where I had always sat to read near the door. I paused, feeling a torrent of conflicting emotions pass through me, before trying every other window. The house remained locked tight.

Why would Marcello lie to me? Why hadn’t Luke sold the place? No “For Sale” sign stood out front.

I went back to the stairs that led down to the beach and flumped down on the top step. I didn’t know how to process th
e
new information. Clearly Luke hadn’t been there in a long time but he hadn’t sold the place either. I couldn’t comprehend why he had held on to it. Tears threatened but I fought them back
.
I
leap
ed
down the steps and
ran
onto the beach.
After
increas
ing
the volume on my iPod
,
I
headed back the way I had come.