My Body-Mine (3 page)
Authors: Blakely Bennett
Tags: #bdsm, #domination, #submission, #bondage, #whipping
“
Oh? I guess he’s made up his mind?”
“
Don’t expect it to be easy,” she said, gently touching my shoulder.
“
Duly noted,” I said as I rummaged through a drawer for something to wear.
“
You won’t be needing any clothes. Freshen up as fast as you can. He’s waiting for you.”
I turned on the shower and stepped in, no longer under the spell of last night’s activities. My gut twisted, and not only from hunger. Dealing with Marcello had never been easy, and although we both wanted the negotiations over with, I intuitively felt I’d be the one doing most of the compromising. The control I had maintained over the past few months had expired, and the prospect of how it would all resolve left me feeling jittery, as if I had consumed too much caffeine.
When I entered the dining room, Marcello was sitting in his customary spot at the far end of the table. His sheer size
intimidated
people, but the penetrating stare of his charcoal eyes scared me the most. From a distance, it proved difficult to tell his iris from the pupil. He stood, fully dressed in black slacks and a blue dress shirt, and lifted the deep purple silk robe I’d wor
n
once before during my first brief stay with him.
Luke and I were already married by then. He sent me off to Marcello as punishment for my rebellion, my jealousy, and curiosity, which led me to snoop in his office. An infraction I perpetrated early on in our relationship which he discovered later.
I remember
ed
the contradiction of emotions that permeated my life. Loving the good times—the luxury of our
day
s, the passionate lovemaking, the moments of exquisite tenderness—but always fearing the next punishment, the next boundary Luke would push me past. Although the next whipping would ultimately lead to my pleasure, I lived in fear of disappointing him. Unlike others in the lifestyle, Luke had no respect for safe words. I had one—“get lost creep,” which had made me laugh at the time—but he had made it abundantly clear that if I ever used it, I would be ousted from his life forever. Marcello had been waiting for that eventual opportunity as he waited now.
He held the robe open for me.
I stepped into the silky fabric and Marcello wrapped it around me, leaning into my neck as he tied the sash around my waist. “Good morning,” I said over my shoulder as he inclined his head to capture my lips. Although I felt anxious to have the situation resolved, I allowed myself to spin into his arms and dissolve into his kisses.
“
Yes it is,” he said as we broke apart and he pulled out the chair catty-corner to his at the end of the table.
As I sat down, two women in pressed uniforms brought in breakfast.
“
Coffee?” Marcello asked, as he poured a cup for himself.
“
I think I’ll pass on that, thanks,” I said. I piled pancakes, eggs, bacon, and potatoes on my plate and ate with gusto.
Marcello poured me a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice and I drank that down as well.
I glanced over at him several times, expecting him to start the negotiations, but he just sipped his coffee. “Aren’t you going to eat anything?” I asked, wiping my mouth on the cloth napkin.
“
I’m not much of a breakfast person, especially while business is still pending.”
“
Well, I sure am. Don’t you know it’s the most important meal of the day?” I ignored the part of his comment about business.
“
So they say,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“
What do you say?”
“
I say it’s time for you to sign the contract.”
“
I still don’t see the need for
one
. Did you at least make the changes we discussed?”
“
Have a look,” he said as reached down beside him into the briefcase I hadn’t previously noticed. He handed me a two-page document.
Contract of Sexual Servitude
This contract dated the 4
th
of
October
, 201
2
, is the complete and whole agreement between
Marcello Ricci (
hereinafter referred to as “Dom,”) and
Jane Jessica Stiles
, (hereinafter referred to as “sub.”) The term of this agreement will begin on the 4
th
of
October
, 201
2
, and will remain in effect for a period of six months ending on the 4
th
of
April
, 201
3
at which time this contract will be renegotiated for the duration of two years.
The Dom
accepts responsibility for the sub’s body, wellbeing, pleasure, and discipline as He sees fit under the provisions of this document.
The sub
agrees to submit to the Dom within the limits specified below. She agrees that upon signing this contract that her body belongs to the Dom to be used as He sees fit under the guidelines below. The sub agrees to strive to please the Dom to the best of her ability at all times.
This agreement is based on the sub willingly submitting to the Dom with the following provisos:
The Dom agrees to:
Keep the sub safe at all times
Maintain honest and open communication
Pay sub’s expenses for the duration of this agreement so that she may pursue publishing of her writings or find a job of her choosing
Train, mold, instruct, and educate sub to be the best possible submissive
Stretch sub’s limits to grow in her role as a submissive
Have control over sub’s wardrobe
Honor the spoken safe words ‘finito Marcello’ and cease all activities immediately
Respect all hard limits of sub as follows: no minors, no animals, no scat, no gags, no deep throat penetration, no electrosex, no moderation of food, no participation in parties without sub’s consent
Be present for any sex or discipline administered by others to ensure sub’s safety, with the exception of Janice
Encourage sub to be in touch with friends and family
Read sub’s writings and provide valuable feedback
Consider sub’s impressions and concerns when adding a new person to the household
The sub agrees to:
Refer to Dom as “Sir” during sex and discipline and around other people in the lifestyle
Maintain honest and open communication
Maintain body by regular exercise, bathing, and all other routine body care including maintaining clean shaven genitalia, legs, and arm pits
Show respect to Dom at all times and obey his commands in a timely manner
Refrain from use of profanity except where appropriate in her writings
Refrain from contacting past lovers or Doms without express permission from Dom
Refrain from wearing underwear unless necessary while with Dom
Sleep naked
Be available to Dom at all times, with or without notice
Refrain from sexual contact, including with self, at all times without permission from Dom
Refrain from achieving orgasm without permission from Dom
Service anyone the Dom chooses
Accept any punishment whether earned or not
Count each strike when disciplined
Refrain from using safe word except in cases of dire distress
Strive to overcome feelings of shame and inhibitions that limit the capacity of sub to serve Dom
Accept any permanent mark that the Dom desires
Use personal time to get published or get a job and continue to journal personal experiences
All bondage, discipline and sex practices are at the sole discretion of the Dom.
Signed:
The signature lines were provided below.
I read through the contract quickly the first time. My pulse raced and my face burned. Glancing in his direction as I read, I saw him raise a questioning eyebrow.
“
Is this the same contract you used with Janice?” I asked.
“
No.”
“
I want to see Janice’s contract.”
“
That will not happen, Jane. That contract is between Janice and me.”
“
Fine,” I said, and then scanned the paper. I slowly read it through for the second time.
He had honored all of my hard limits but only for six months and added several items we had never discussed.
Reviewing the paper again, I understood that it simply bought each of us more time. The same conflict would rise up again in a few months, but I felt with some tweaking I’d be inclined to sign so I could further pursue getting published and, meanwhile, continue my currently very pleasurable relationship with Marcello.
“
Let’s start at the top of my list. Calling you ‘Sir’? You never had me call you ‘Sir’ before. I don’t recall hearing Janice call you that either. Why?”
“
It will help you acclimate.”
“
What the hell … um … I mean heck does that mean?”
“
It means that I feel Luke orchestrated your first foray into BDSM the wrong way, and I plan to rectify that mistake.”
“
Oh, Marcello …”
“
Are we really going to debate that rule?”
“
No, I guess not. Is it necessary for you to have control over my wardrobe?”
“
Yes it is, and that’s mostly for when we go out and other special occasions.”
“
I see.” Reading down the page, I wondered to myself whether Janice had the same number five clause in her contract: not to contact past lovers or Doms without express permission from Marcello. Certain it wouldn’t be an issue for me, I moved on. “Number sixteen is ridiculous. I have no control over my shame
or
what embarrasses me.”
“
I beg to differ with you. That is something you can work on and I will help you with it.”
“
That’s what I was afraid you might say.”
Leaning forward, he took my face in his hands and kissed me, seizing my mouth with his full lips. He sucked on my bottom lip, nibbling just slightly until I was close to giving in. “I have my ways,” he said, releasing me.
“
No doubt,” I said, trying to clear the haze of lust that threatened to block all access to my common sense. “Enough of that.” I twisted away and sat farther back in my chair. “Number seventeen is a deal breaker. I am not going to let you mark me with brands or tattoos.”
“
I thought you might say that. If you agree that it will be on our next contract, I will happily remove it.”
I handed him the contract and he struck through number seventeen and initialed it. I had a feeling that everything had gone just as he had planned, but what could I do?
“
There are a few on the Dom list that I have questions about. What’s this business of you reading what I write?”
“
I can provide valuable feedback. I have been in this lifestyle for a long time. Plus I’m an avid reader and can help you edit and polish.”
“
My journal is private and I’m not willing to share it. I’m not sure I’m even comfortable having you read my story.” My words rushed together and I started to pant. “I think there needs to be some boundaries between us and it is a bit paternalistic to give me no choice in the matter. How about, I’ll seek your advice when I deem it necessary. This has nothing to do with sex, so as far as I’m concerned, you have no right to dictate this part of my life.” I took several deep breaths in an effort to regain my equilibrium. That rule had upset me as much as any of them. I wanted the freedom to write, but I did not want to be critiqued and censored by a lover, especially a jealous one.
Sitting still, fingering his upper lip as he had done when he wore a mustache, he appeared to be formulating a rebuttal. Instead he said, “I can go along with that but I do hope you’ll trust me enough to seek out my help if the occasion arises.”
Realizing that the stress of the negotiations had my shoulders up by my ears, I expelled a large breath of air and willed my body to relax. I peered back at the page and the last item on the Dom side of the list. “Do you plan to add additional subs to the household?”
I’m not sure why, but the idea bothered me. Somehow I had gotten past sharing Marcello with Janice. In all honesty, I preferred it that way. He had darker, harsher needs than Luke—at least that’s what I told myself at the time—and having Janice in the house reduced the chances of me receiving the kind of discipline that scared me
the
most. I shuddered when I remembered the scene I had witnessed the night I had escaped from his house. Marcello’s door had been left slightly open and I
had
seen him using electricity to shock Janice. Neither had been aware of my presence and I could see that Janice thrived on the kind of pain I considered torture. Well, she could have the more extreme domination. I felt somewhat reassured that he had another woman to take it out on.
But now, the prospect of a person I didn’t know coming into the house twisted my stomach into knots.
