My Bestfriend's Man (14 page)

Brian

“You good?” Ace asked me. “You
been quiet the ride up and we almost home and you barely said two words. What’s
going on with you?”

We were on our way back from New
York. We just met up with Detrick our main supplier. It’s no secret. I do
dibble
dabble in the drug business. The news
wasn’t good anyway because they were trying to up the prices, almost a thousand
dollars more per kilo. He
was being
greedy. I know ain’t nobody out there putting in work like me and my team.
It’s
time for me to make some business moves
and fast.

“Yo,” Ace said again.

“Man, I just ain’t in the mood,”
I said shrugging my shoulders.

“Is it Savannah?” he asked.

My silent mood is contributed to
her. I never loved a woman as much as I love Savannah, not even Macy. Call me a
pussy or whatever you want, but all I ever wanted was a family. I never had
that growing up and I thought Savannah was someone I could do that with. When I
think about my
future,
there’s no doubt I
want her to be a part of it.

Now that I’ve meant her parents I
don’t see that happening. I overheard her mother talking about me. I came in to
get a drink of water after playing a game of pool with Savannah’s father. It
hurt that Savannah didn’t even try to defend me. I’m not going to
front
, I have my issues, but I think Savannah
has made me a better man.

“You in love ain’t you?” Ace
asked interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah, I am
man
,” I answered shaking my head.

“What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know Ace. I just don’t
think she is feeling me like I’m feeling her. You know when I love, I love
hard.”

“I know and that’s your problem.
You are too clingy and controlling. Besides you can’t make somebody love you. I
tried to tell you that when you were with Macy.”

“Don’t start with that Macy
bullshit,” I said looking out of the window. Macy was a young lady from my
past. I loved her too, but
nowhere
near
as much as I love Savannah. That was a memory I wanted to leave buried, but Ace
wanted to dig up old dirt.

“I just don’t want you to get
caught up. You barely escaped the mess you created last time. I hate to see you
get in another bind you can’t get ya ass out of,” Ace said shaking his head.
“You ever think about talking to somebody?”

“What?”

“
No,
seriously B. You got some shit going on with you and as your brother I only
want the best for you. You got a good thing going. I would hate for you to
throw it away behind some girl. Besides Savannah is a good girl I would
hate-
,”

“I’m warning you Ace,” I said
through gritted teeth.

Images of Macy’s smile walked
through my mind. The sound of her laughter penetrated my ears. I covered my
ears and breathed deep before exhaling. The voices in my head started talking
to me again. I shook my head slightly, doing all I could to ignore them.

“Yo’ B. You good?”

“Shut the fuck up,” I snapped. I
already had two voices speaking to me at once I didn’t need another one.

This is all his fault anyway. I
was doing good for a while without my medication. Nobody knew about my
condition except my mother. I kept this secret from both my father and Ace. I
was too embarrassed to talk about it. At the age of twelve, I was diagnosed
with paranoid schizophrenia. I’m supposed to take medication for it, but I hate
taking those pills. They make me feel weird and incompetent.

Now
here,
I am having an episode in front of my brother. He knew
something was wrong with me. Even as kids he would look at me sideways. I had
this fetish for torturing animals. It’s sick to some, but I enjoyed it. He was
the only person besides myself that knew about my first kill. I was just ten
years old. A little girl named Jade.

Me
and Ace
were spending the weekend with my father. His next door neighbor’s daughter
Jade who was only eight at the time asked me and Ace to play house with her.
Ace wasn’t for that shit, but I made him play anyway. I was
the husband,
she was the wife and Ace was our
son.

Would you believe I got caught up
in that fantasy? I actually believed she was my wife and I was her husband. We
were a family. Even at the age of ten that’s something I always wanted. I just
had this empty feeling inside and I felt a real family would make that feeling
go away.

That little fun we had with Jade
quickly came to an end when my father found out. He beat the hell out of me.
Ace didn’t get in trouble though, just me. Shit like that made me question if
my father really loved me. Ace and I would get caught doing shit together yet I
was the only one that ever got reprimanded. I think my father is part of the
reason I’m so fucked up anyway. I have so many stories bottled up inside of me.

Anyway back to Jade. Well, when
our fun together ended she found a new friend to play house with. When I saw
that shit, this feeling took over me. I think it was rage, and it was so
powerful. I actually began to shake. It may sound funny, but that was my wife
and she just up and found another husband when shit got a little rough between
us. Just like Macy, she tried to leave when shit got a little sticky, but I
couldn’t let that happen.

I never make it easy for anyone
to leave me, plain and simple. Jade was the first to meet my darker side when
she tried to move on with someone else. You know how some people feel nervous
when they are about to do something wrong. Not me. I guess
because,
in my
sick, demented mind,
I had every right to do what I did. The voice in my
head walked me through everything.

It was
mid-August
. We had one more week left before school started. I
convinced Jade to sneak out with me. It wasn’t too late, around ten or eleven o’clock
at night. We took a short walk into the woods behind her house where I planted
my baseball bat. She never saw it coming.

“Hey,” Ace said nudging me again.

“Just drive man,” I told him, not
in the mood for a lot of conversation. I laid my head back on the
headrest
and attempted to close my eyes and go
to sleep. But sleep came and went as it pleased. Jade’s beautiful face
taunted
me the entire ride back home.

*
  
*
  
*

I stood outside and knocked on
Savannah’s door for ten minutes straight. No lie. I called her cell phone three
times in a row. That was my limit. I ain’t want to come off as too pushy. The
bees didn’t help my situation either. I’m allergic to them muthafuckas and on
top of Savannah being missing in action they had me even more paranoid.

“Savannah,” I said banging on the
front door.

My heart raced in my chest. Maybe
I’m jumping to conclusions, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I ran and
circled the house, peeking through windows, checking for unlocked doors. I know
from the outside looking in that shit didn’t look right, but Savannah is wifey
and I wanted to make sure she’s okay.

The only thing I could do was
stare at my cell phone. I couldn’t call anybody. I didn’t have her mother’s
number or Roxie’s number. My next move would have been to break one of her damn
windows open, but my cell phone began to vibrate. I smiled when her face
flashed across my screen.

“Hello.”

“Hey, you called.”

“Where you at? I’m standing
outside of your house right now,” I told Savannah as I made my way back towards
the front of the house.

“I’m with Zee.”

“Who?”

“Zee,” she repeated.

“Who the hell is Zee?”

“My co-worker,” she responded
like I should know who the hell Zee is. I’ve never heard her mention anything
about this co-worker before so I immediately became suspicious. “Hello.”

“When you coming home?”

“Probably not for another hour or
so.”

“Aight,” I mumbled.

“See ya later,” she said and hung
up.

I wasn’t feeling that. My insides
were on fire and I bit the inside of my jaw. The voices in my head decided they
wanted to have a conversation with me. I did the best to tune them out because
they never had anything positive to say. They were getting out of control. As
much as I hated to take my medication I knew I needed it.

The summer heat was making its
appearance. I could feel the sweat smothering my armpits. I took a light whiff
of my underarms to make sure I didn’t have an odor. It was a bit musty. Body
odor is a turn off for me. I didn’t want to wait a whole hour in this condition.
I couldn’t blame anybody but myself. I shouldn’t have been running around
Savannah’s house like a mad man.

If I had a key to her
place,
this would be one less problem I had to
worry about. She had a key to my place, but she rarely ever used it. I looked
around contemplating my next move. I really didn’t feel like going home. After
waiting for an hour and a half, Savannah still hadn’t found her way home. I
called and my phone call went unanswered.

“There’s someone else.”

“No, Savannah wouldn’t do that to
me,” I answered myself.

“Yes, she would.”

“
No,
she wouldn’t,” I yelled.

I breathed deep and remained in
place for a few minutes. Silence at this point was like my friend. I smiled
thinking I had control of the voices inside of
my
head
.

“Yes, she would,” a voice said to
me followed my laughter.

That shit scared me and the
fucked up part about it is I fed into what they said. I started up my car and
headed home all the while entertaining the voices in my head. Maybe they are
right. There is somebody else.

Savannah

I looked at my cell phone as
Brian’s face flashed across the screen. I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling
and kindly placed it back inside of my Marc Jacobs bag. This shit was getting
ridiculous. He was like Roxie only in male form. I shook my head. Am I a magnet
for drama or what?

“What’s wrong?” Zee asked me.

“Brian,” I sighed.

“Savannah you need to go ahead
and break that shit off before it gets way out of hand.”

“I know, I just don’t want to
hurt him.” Zee looked at me sideways like she didn’t believe me. “What?” I
asked curling up my lips.

“Is that really the case?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” she said as she pulled
into my driveway.

“What is that supposed to mean?”
I asked.

“Be real Savannah. You are only
keeping that man around because he is a temporary distraction.”

“From?”

She cocked her head to the side
and smacked her lips. “Really Savannah?”

“Really,” I said faking the funk
like I didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Okay, since you want to play
dumb. You are only using that man. He was supposed to be the Novocain to ease
your pain. Now that he has served his purpose I think you are getting tired of
him.”

When Zee put it like
that,
I felt like shit because she was right.
In the beginning, things were good between me and Brian. I even thought he
could
possibly
be the one, but now
I’m not so sure. I’m trying my best to make this work, but you can’t force your
heart to love someone.

“You need to be up front with him
Savannah.”

“I know,” I sighed. “Why you all
up in my business anyway?” I joked.

“Because you allow me into your
drama,” she said with a laugh.

“Whatever. Aight chick let me get
in here. My feet hurt from all that walking we did. I like to shop, but dayum.
I ain’t think we were ever going to leave.”

“Girl, I told you. When I shop,
honey I shop.”

“I know now.”

She opened the back and allowed
me to get my bags. I could only shake my head because of how much money Zee
spent in the store. I mean don’t get me wrong I like to indulge, but not like
that. She still has clothes hanging in her closet with tags on them. That’s
just a waste of money to me.

I waved over my shoulder as I
made my way up the steps. She honked her horn at me as she backed out of the
driveway. My feet really did hurt. As soon as I hit my living room I plopped
down on the couch and took off my Michael Kors wedged tennis shoes. I wiggled
my toes and tried to give them some life.

My phone began to ring again. I
didn’t even bother to look at it. I had a feeling it was Brian anyway. I looked
up at the ceiling in distress. I was starting to feel a little
overwhelmed
in this relationship. He wanted
things that I wasn’t ready to give him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.

After lounging on the sofa for a
few minutes with my
thoughts,
I decided
to take a shower. I grabbed my bags and headed upstairs towards my bedroom. A
sense of loneliness came over me and my mind drifted to Brandon. I rubbed my
belly and daydreamed about what could have been.

“Why did you have to go and fuck
it up?” I said out loud to myself.

*
  
*
  
*

Loud banging jarred me out of my
sleep. I sat up and blinked hard to adjust them to the darkness that surrounded
my room. The banging started up again and I jumped. Between the banging on the
door and my cell phone sounding
off,
I
didn’t know which way to turn.

I grabbed my phone off the stand.
As I looked at the picture displayed across the screen I shook my head. The
banging got louder and I could hear the faint sounds of my name being called. I
recognized the voice.

I grabbed my robe hanging off the
door and wrapped it around my body. This is getting ridiculous.

“Savannah,” Brian yelled as he pounded
on my door like it was Dawn of the Dead and Zombies were after his ass.

“Brian, what the hell is wrong
with you?” I asked as I swung the door open.

He walked in and wrapped his arms
around me. He was out of breath. I would be too. He got his workout for the
day. I know his hand had to be sore.

“Brian, what is going on?” I
asked as I maneuvered my way out of his death grip.

“I had a bad dream,” he said
shutting the door behind him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I looked him up and down. All
sorts of thoughts ran through my mind as I thought about my mother’s words to
me. The crazed look in his eyes put me on
edge
.
Goosebumps
ran across my arms and I
rubbed them to keep warm.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good,” he said looking over his
shoulder.

“Have you been drinking?” I asked
picking up the all too familiar scent of alcohol.

“A little,” he confessed.

“Brian,” I said shaking my head.
I looked at him and wondered how someone could be put together one minute and
out of sorts the next.

As much as I wanted to send him
on his way, I couldn’t. I didn’t have the heart to send him back home in that
condition. I wasn’t about to give him any pussy either. I couldn’t stomach that
right now.

“I’m sorry Savannah. It’s just
that the dream seemed so real. I had to come over and make sure you were okay.
I’m sorry about this.”

His eyes had softened and his
breathing was back to normal. I felt bad for how I questioned him earlier. He
only wants what’s best for me. I couldn’t get mad at him for that.

“Come on,” I said motioning for
him to follow me upstairs.

*
  
*
  
*

I was in
la-la
land as Brian straddled me. I was laying on my stomach while
he massaged every inch of my body. That man had magical hands. A few times I
even
dozed
off. I think this is his way
of making up to me after his unexpected visit.

“
Hmmmm
,
this is so relaxing,” I moaned.

“You like that,” he whispered in
my ear before kissing me on the neck.

“Yes,” I moaned. My pearl began
to pulsate, and I squeezed my thighs together.

He flipped me over on my back and
placed himself in between my legs. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He
placed his face in my neck and lightly began to suck. I arched my back pressing
my chest close to his. I was so horny. A nice nut was definitely on the menu.

He rubbed himself against me
before placing two fingers inside my juice box. In and out he stroked my inner
walls, while using his thumb to play with my clit. The sounds of my gushy pussy
turned me on. It felt so good. I could feel myself near a climax. I grabbed his
elbow willing him to continue.

I grinded on his fingers like my
life depended on it. I needed this in the worst way. As he continued to work
his magic down
south,
he found my nipple
and placed it in his mouth. The combination alone drove me insane. He moaned
like he was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Please don’t stop,” I moaned. I
grabbed the sheets in anticipation. I’m almost there I can feel it.

Just as I’ m about to cum he
stops. My eyes shot open. Before I could protest he smothers his mouth with
mines.

“Condom,” I managed to say when
he finally let me come up for air.

“Come on Savannah,” he whined as
he hovered over me.

“No glove, no love,” I said,
meaning every word of it. I wasn’t in the mood to have sex anyway.

He sighed as he retrieved a
condom and quickly put it on. He wasted no time as he placed himself back in
between my legs. I looked up at the ceiling and tried to think of something
that would at least make this enjoyable.

Seconds later Brian was moaning
in my ear and humping me like some damn rabbit. This is so depressing. I don’t
get it. How you twenty-nine years old and still don’t know how to fuck.

“Whose is it?” He moaned in my
ear.

“Yours, baby,” I moaned trying my
hardest to sound believable.

“This my pussy,” he groaned.

“Yes.”

“Awe, shit,” he moaned as he
placed his face in my neck. His body jerked a few times before he finally
kissed me like what we just made was something special. He pulled away and
looked at me with this strange look in his eyes. I had a feeling it was coming,
but it was too late to stop him. “I love you Savannah.”

Not only did he ruin my nut, but
he just fucked up the rest of the night for me. He continued to look down at
me. I knew he was waiting for me to say it back, but I couldn’t. So instead I
wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I wasn’t ready to say that to
him. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be.