Mr. Darcy Forever (36 page)

She closed the back door behind her and locked it. Bingley came trotting into the kitchen and gave his owner a quizzical look as if to ask what she’d been doing out in the garden in the middle of the night. He shoved his wet nose into the palm of her right hand when she didn’t respond to his presence and she smiled down at him, pulling one of his funny stubby ears.

‘
Mia has a little boy and she's never told me about him,’ she told Bingley. He looked up at her with his big brown eyes as if in total sympathy with her but then he did a typical Bingley thing and leapt up on her, his great fat paws on her shoulders.

‘
Not now, Bingley! Get down!’

There was a knock at the door. Shelley dabbed her eyes with a tissue. She had to act normally.

‘
Hi,’ Mia said as she came in. ‘I’m sorry I was ages.’

‘
Yes, you were,’ Shelley said. ‘You seem to spend more time with Gabe than you do me. Why don’t you go and stay in his spare room instead?’ She hadn’t meant to snap like that but found that the words had tumbled out before she’d had a chance to stop them.

‘
Shelley!’ Mia said, resting a hand on her shoulder. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘
Nothing. Why should there be something wrong?’

‘
Because you sound so angry and that’s not like you.’

Shelley sighed and tried to calm herself down. ‘It’s just been a very trying day, hasn't it?’

‘
You can say that again.’

Shelley bit her lip. ‘Mia?’

‘
Yes?’

‘
You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?’

‘
Of course.’

Shelley looked at her. ‘Because I'd like to do all I can to help you.’

‘
That’s really lovely of you but right now all I want to do is go to bed.’

Shelley clenched her fingers into fists lest she reached out to physically shake Mia until she spilt the truth. ‘But we’ll talk in the morning?’

‘
What about?’

‘
Everything,’ Shelley said. ‘We’ve hardly talked properly since you arrived and there’s so much I want to know.’

Mia frowned at her. ‘But there’s really not that much to tell, Shelley.’

‘
Are you sure?’

Mia’s eyes narrowed at her friend’s words. ‘Why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind?’

Shelley could feel a blush creeping up on her and felt her heartbeat racing. Should she tell Mia she’d been eavesdropping next door and heard her confession? She’d never trust her again if she did.

‘
I know you,’ she said at last, deciding not to confess to subterfuge, ‘and I know that you’re not telling me everything.’

‘
Yes, so you keep saying. What is it you think I’m hiding from you, Shell-’

‘
Stop lying to me, Mia! For God’s sake! I don’t know how much more of this I can take! Just tell me what’s going on!’

Mia blanched at her words and she bit her lip, suddenly looking chastened. But then her face softened. ‘I think we’d better sit down first.’

It was only then that Mia told her everything. Of course, Shelley had heard it all a moment before in Gabe’s kitchen but she felt relief surge through her that her friend had, at last, decided to confide in her even though she’d had to resort to shouting to prise the truth from her.

‘
Why didn’t you tell me before?’ Shelley asked when Mia showed her the photograph from her purse.

Mia sighed. ‘You seemed so far away and we were both leading different lives.’

‘
But I could have helped. I could have been with you.’

‘
I’m sorry,’ Mia said. ‘I really am but it just felt like something I had to get through on my own.’

‘
But you don’t ever need to be alone. Isn’t that why you have friends?’

‘
I suppose,’ Mia said and she looked so young in that moment that Shelley could hardly believe that she was now a mother.

‘
I’m guessing Sarah doesn’t know anything about all this,’ Shelley said.

Mia shook her head. ‘How could I tell her?’

‘
But you can tell her now, surely? Now Alec’s out of the picture, it will be easier, won’t it?’

Mia’s forehead furrowed into deep lines. ‘Will it?’

‘
And he has a right to know too, Mia,’ Shelley said, well aware that Gabe had just told her exactly the same thing. ‘He has a child. Don’t you think he’ll want to know?’

‘
I don’t want anything from him.’

‘
I didn’t say you did,’ Shelley said. ‘You’ve obviously been coping and I really admire you for that but I think he should know all the same.’

Mia took a deep breath and sighed it out slowly. ‘I can’t believe how this trip’s turning out,’ she said and then laughed. ‘I thought I could leave all my troubles behind me in London. I didn’t realise I was heading into even more trouble here.’

‘
Bath isn’t immune from trouble,’ Shelley said. ‘Fine architecture and a Jane Austen connection can’t cancel out your problems, I’m afraid.’

‘
I’ve been a fool, haven’t I?’ Mia said. ‘I really thought I could get through this on my own and nobody ever need know a thing.’

‘
You’ve not been a fool,’ Shelley said. ‘But I wish you wouldn’t be quite so independent.’

‘
What do you mean?’

‘
I don’t like thinking of you struggling along on your own.’

‘
I haven’t been strugg-’

‘
No? Are you sure?’

Mia relented. ‘Well, I might have been struggling a bit. But I’ve always got by.’

‘
Getting by isn’t much fun,’ Shelley said. ‘For goodness’ sake, Mia! I've got a spare bedroom here desperately in need of another lodger and I'd love to have you and William here with me. I could even babysit him or he could join in at Tumble Tots. And you could help me out with all my dress-making. You were always so more organised than me and I think things could really take off if we worked at it together. It would be brilliant!
Do
say yes!’

‘
That’s really kind of you, Shelley, but my life’s in London.’

‘
Is it? Is it really?’

‘
My flat-’

‘
That you’re always complaining about.’

‘
And my job.’

‘
The badly paid one in the crummy café? You can get any number of crummy jobs here in Bath if you want to.’

There was a moment's silence.

‘
What’s keeping you in London, Mia? You’ve said you’re no longer auditioning.’

Mia gazed at her friend. ‘I'm afraid I've given up on that. I'll never be one of the leading lights of the London stage and, do you know what? It no longer bothers me. I used to think that my singing was the only thing that kept me going and that, if I ever stopped, my whole world would crumble. But it hasn't. In fact, I've never been happier. I mean, I know I've been pretty miserable over the last couple of days but my life is a good one.’

Shelley smiled at her. ‘You’re amazing.’

‘
No, I'm not.’

‘
You are! I don't think I'd have coped half as well as you.’

‘
Yes you would. You have to. You just keep getting up in the mornings and doing the very best that you can.’

Shelley laughed. ‘Boy, we've not done very well as drama school graduates, have we?’

Mia smiled. ‘Maybe not as well as we could have done but I wouldn't change anything. I'm through trying to set the world on fire and I no longer want to see my name up in lights. Do you know what makes me happy now?’

‘
What?’

‘
Spending an evening at home watching William on his play mat. Or taking a walk to the duck pond with a crust of stale bread.’

Shelley laughed.

‘
I think I’ve entered middle-age before I’m even out of my twenties,’ Mia said.

‘
No you haven’t,’ Shelley said. ‘You’ve just calmed down a bit.’

‘
I sometimes worry that I’m unrecognisable now. I feel I’ve changed so much.’

Shelley looked thoughtful. ‘Not that much,’ she said. ‘You’re still my best buddy.’

Mia smiled. ‘But are you absolutely sure about me and William moving in with you?’

‘
Of
course
I’m sure!’ Shelley said with a grin. ‘I can’t think of anything more wonderful!’

Mia laughed. ‘I don’t deserve a friend like you.’

‘
No, you don’t,’ Shelley said. ‘You deserve
much
better!’

Lloyd had insisted on walking Sarah back to her hotel even though she’d told him she was perfectly all right and could manage on her own. She was wearing her coat over her Regency gown but, even so, she couldn’t stop shivering.

When they reached the river she stopped, leaning on the stone wall and looking down into the dark swirl of water below.

‘
Sarah?’ Lloyd said, his voice gentle. ‘Are you okay?’ He placed a hand on her shoulder and it felt warm and comforting.

‘
I can’t stop thinking about Mia,’ she said. ‘The look on her face! I’ll never forget it. She looked so horrified to see me there.’

‘
It was just shock,’ Lloyd said.

‘
No!’ Sarah said. ‘She hates me.’

‘
She doesn’t hate you.’

‘
You didn’t see her.’

‘
You’re her sister, Sarah. She couldn’t hate you.’

‘
But she does. I’m sure of it.’

‘
You’ve got to talk to her. That’s the only way to sort this out.’

‘
But she doesn’t even want to see me.’ She felt Lloyd’s hand squeeze her shoulder and she turned around to face him. ‘I’m sorry to drag you into all this. It’s not fair on you, is it?’

‘
I don’t mind,’ he said.

Sarah shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to walk away from all this right now. Really, I wouldn’t.’

‘
I’m not going anywhere.’

‘
Are you sure? Are you really sure you want to put up with all this? Everything’s such a mess and, even if it wasn’t, you really don’t want to get involved with someone like me.’

‘
What do you mean?’

‘
I’m a nightmare – I really am.’

‘
What – the OCD?’

Sarah nodded.

‘
You keep forgetting that I’m a nightmare too.’

‘
Yes but I have a tendency to steal my sister’s boyfriends and marry them.’

‘
Well, I can’t lay claim to that particular fault myself,’ Lloyd said with a little smile.

Sarah took a deep breath. ‘But you didn’t come to Bath to become involved in a family feud.’