Mother For His Children, A (3 page)

In the days before he lost Salome, she would sit in the rocking chair he had placed in the kitchen for her, knitting or mending, and enjoying their family. He could see her now, if he closed his eyes to the tools and workbench surrounding him. His Salome, rocking softly in her chair, and the gentle smile she kept on her face in spite of the pain.

The pain that had been her constant burden during those last months. Pain so horrible, that when she died, he had wept as much from thankfulness that she had been released, as from grief that he had lost her.

Levi pulled his mind away from the memories. Salome was free of pain now, safe and secure in the Blessed Land.

The knife lay loose in his hand, forgotten. He turned the blade over, working the other side.

He had taken her presence for granted, he knew that. From the time he first met her when they were children, he had thought Salome would always be with him. His partner in life, and together in their old age. But it wasn't to be. God saw fit to let him carry on alone.

And alone he would stay, it seemed. He had exhausted the eligible women in the district and beyond, and not one of them would agree to be his wife. He had settled for the next best thing—a housekeeper.

And God provided Ruth. He had expected an older woman, but Ruth seemed capable and she was already making friends with the children. And at least now his family was safe from his interfering sister.

* * *

As the door slammed behind Levi Zook, Ruthy's stomach turned.
Ach,
she had spoken before thinking again! As the father, he was the only one who had the say in how Sam was raised, not her. He certainly wouldn't want her meddling, especially her first day here.

The children's laughter broke into her thoughts as Elias told a joke and Ruthy smiled along with them. Surely they would have noticed their
daed's
mood when he left the house? But it didn't seem like they thought anything unusual had happened. Perhaps Levi acted like this quite often.

She bit her lip at the sudden thought that perhaps his mood had nothing to do with her. He had recently lost his wife, and he was probably still in mourning for her.

That must be the problem. She must be more understanding of the poor man.

After supper and dishes were done, the children brought books, sewing projects and knitting needles and gathered back at the table under the bright light.

“What do you have planned for tomorrow?” Ruthy gave the dishrag a final rinse as Waneta set the last plates in the cupboard.

“Whatever has to be done.” Waneta leaned against the counter with a sigh. “There's always work waiting, isn't there?”

“Do you follow a schedule?”

“
Mam
did, but I don't know how she did it. I try to do laundry on Monday, the way she did, but then everyone runs out of clothes after only a few days, and I have to do laundry again. Then there aren't enough dirty clothes to wash on the next Monday....” Waneta's words faltered and she sent a pleading look at Ruthy.

“It sounds like all you need is some organization.” Ruthy silently thanked her mother for teaching her to run an orderly home. She would certainly need all those skills now. “Let's sit down and make a list of what needs to be done.”

As she and Waneta planned their week, Ruthy worked to keep her rising impatience out of her voice. Levi Zook's wife had only been gone a year, but from what Waneta told her, she had been bearing the heaviest load of the housekeeping for several years. Her father had expected entirely too much from this young girl.

When Levi and Elias came into the back porch just as the clock was striking eight o'clock, stomping the snow off their boots on the wood floor, Ruthy rose to make her way to the
Dawdi Haus.

“We'll start on the mending tomorrow, right after we
redd
up the house in the morning.”

Waneta gave her a grateful smile. “That sounds
wonderful
-
gut.
It's so much better to have everything planned out, isn't it?”

“We'll tackle things one day at a time for now, and then on Monday we'll put together a schedule for the week.” Ruthy patted the girl's arm. “And don't be in any hurry to get up in the morning. I'll get breakfast started, and you can come down to help when the others do.”

Waneta's smile broke into a big grin at that, and Ruthy slipped through the door into the passageway just as the door from the porch burst open. She had intruded on this family enough for one day.

Closing the door of her
Dawdi Haus,
Ruthy lit the lamp on the table in her front room. After building up the fire in the small stove, she hunted out the yarn and knitting needles she had brought with her. Keeping this family in stockings would keep her needles busy every evening.

The rocking chair creaked in the quiet room as she cast on the stitches she needed to make the first of a pair of men's stockings. Her mind drifted back to Lancaster County, to the home she had left behind.
Mam
would be knitting tonight, while
Daed
read aloud from
The Budget
.
 
The thought brought tears to her eyes and she laid her needles down. Why had God called her to leave her home and come here? Soon
Daed
and
Mam
would be saying their evening prayer before they went up to bed, and she wouldn't be in the family circle.

She brushed away the tears and resumed working on the stocking. As she rocked and knitted, she recited the prayer she had heard every night of her life, hearing
Daed's
voice in her memory.

When she finished, Ruthy let the stocking drop in her lap again and gazed at the empty room around her. Of all the things she had considered about choosing to follow God's call to be a
maidle
and to serve Him by working in strangers' homes, she had never considered this solitude. The clock ticking on the wall struck the half hour, the single chime echoing in the silent room. Years of empty, silent evenings stretched before her.

Without a family of her own, she would always be only that single note.

* * *

“She isn't
Mam,
” Nellie said as she snuggled next to Levi on the sofa.

“
Ne,
she isn't
Mam.
” Levi held his daughter tightly as he kissed the top of her head.

“I like her,” Waneta said. “She was a big help with supper and afterwards.”

Levi took in the faces of the other children as they gathered in the front room for their usual before-bedtime talk. When Salome was alive, this had been the time when he had led his family in evening prayers, but he hadn't had the heart to resume them since she had left him with their children to raise alone.

“What do you think, Elias?” Levi turned to his oldest son, only sixteen and already finding ways to spend time away from the family. He was serious about some girl and spent every Saturday evening out with his courting buggy.

Elias rubbed the back of his neck, his chin rough with young whiskers. “She's all right. She's just keeping house, right? You haven't brought her here to marry her or anything, have you?”

“
Ne.
I only hired her to be our housekeeper and help with the girls.”

“Well, then,” said Nathan, “she can stay. Anything so we don't have to eat Waneta's cooking anymore.” He grinned and ducked away as Waneta aimed a playful slap at his head.

“She can't stay. She's mean.” Sam shifted on Levi's lap, where Levi thought he had been sleeping.

“You only think she's mean because she wouldn't let you eat cake before supper.” Nancy was snuggled against one side of him the way her twin, Nellie, was snuggled against the other.

“You shouldn't eat cake before supper anyway.” Martha was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, always the dreamer.

Levi stood up, lifting Sam in his arms. “Come now, it's time for bed.”

James and David finished their game of checkers while the others filed up the stairway. Jesse didn't move from the corner of the sofa, where his head leaned against the padded arm as he snored softly. Levi smiled. He'd carry Sam up to the bed the two little ones shared and then come back down for Jesse. At least both boys were still small enough for him to carry.

After tucking the two boys into their bed and saying good-night to each of the others, Levi steeled himself for the late-night visit to check the barn. Braving the bitter cold one more time was necessary if he was going to be able to rest peacefully tonight.

He crossed the big front room to the kitchen door in his stocking feet, following a path of light across the dark floor. Someone had left the lamp burning in the kitchen. It was a waste of good lamp oil when he was scraping for cash to pay his new housekeeper.

At the doorway, he stopped. She was in the kitchen, her back to him, wearing a white flannel nightgown. The lamp from the
Dawdi Haus
burned on the counter next to her, its gentle flicker mingling with the sound of her voice humming a tune in the quiet room. Her golden hair trailed down her back in a thick braid as she worked with the dough trough, setting the sponge for tomorrow's bread.

Levi's mouth went dry as he stared at the lustrous rope. Salome's hair had been beautiful, brown and fine, falling down her back like silky water when she brushed it out, but that had been before her illness caused her hair to become dry and brittle. It had been a long time—too long—since he had run his hands through a woman's hair.

Lamplight glowed around Ruth's white gown with an ethereal light. When she reached up into the cupboard, that golden braid swung across her back, pulling a moan from him that he strangled with a cough. At the noise she turned around.

“Levi Zook! I thought you had all gone to bed.” She backed away, even though the entire kitchen stretched between them. “I forgot to set the sponge for tomorrow's bread....” Then her eyes narrowed as she focused on his feet. “Why are you walking around in just your stockings?”

She sounded like his mother. “I'm going out to check the barn before I go to bed like I always do. Don't worry, I'll put my boots on before I go outdoors.”

Ruth put one hand on her hip and pointed a wooden spoon at his feet with the other. “You'll put holes in your stockings if you don't wear something over them.”

Levi gritted his teeth, but he fought to keep his words even. “I won't wear my boots in the house.”

“Don't you have slippers?” She cocked her head to one side, facing him down the way he did his Percheron gelding.

“
Ne,
I don't. But at least I'm not walking around barefoot on a freezing night.”

Her face blanched as she looked down at her bare toes below the hem of her nightgown. She reached her hand up to where her
kapp
should be and blood rushed to her cheeks. “
Ach,
I forgot... You must think... I'm so sorry...” She dropped the spoon on the counter and fled through the door to the
Dawdi Haus.

Levi stared at the door she slammed behind her, his mind filled with the image of her flowing white gown and that trailing braid. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his hands over his eyes then smoothed his beard. This wasn't what he had bargained for when he set out to hire a housekeeper.

 

Chapter Three

L
evi reached out with one hand to turn off the alarm before it could ring. Four o'clock and time to get up.

He pushed himself to the edge of the half-empty bed with a groan. Nights were short enough when he slept through them, but he had fought to get even a few hours' sleep last night. Every time he closed his eyes, the sight of that tall, willowy form with the golden braid taunted him. He rubbed his face with both hands and paused with his eyes covered, capturing the vision again before the day's work stole it from him.

Would it be wrong to think she might welcome his attention?

Levi combed his fingers through his beard. The last time he approached a woman... His face grew hot when he remembered how Ellie Miller, in front of everyone at the barn raising last summer, had refused his request to court her. He should never have mentioned it in the middle of a crowd of onlookers, but Eliza had cornered him that very morning and insisted he either marry or send Nellie and Nancy to live with her in Middlebury. He had been desperate.

He still was. But desperate enough to risk a rejection from his housekeeper?

Making a marriage wasn't what he had intended when he set out to hire a housekeeper, but then, he also hadn't intended to hire someone so eligible. He was crazy to think she'd even look at an old man like him.

Or maybe it wasn't so crazy. A lot of men married girls younger than they were, and made good marriages, too. His own
grossdawdi
had two wives, marrying his
grossmutti
only months after his first wife had died in childbirth.

And then he had gone on to have twelve more children with his second wife.

At this thought Levi pushed himself out of bed. He paused to check the weather, pulling up the shade to look through the window at the bright stars and white fields, ghostly gray in the moonlight. His farm, his
dat's
farm, his
grossdawdi's
farm. The cabin his
grossdawdi
built in 1845 was just out of sight in the woodlot. But this farm meant nothing compared to his family. He'd do anything to keep them together.

Anything, including keeping Ruth Mummert on as his housekeeper. Would Eliza think her too young and inexperienced to take over the housekeeping? From the way supper went last night, she seemed competent enough.

But could he keep her around, having her become part of the family and a substitute mother for the younger ones? What would the other church members think of such a young woman in his home?

He should send her back to Lancaster County. He could spend ten minutes listing all the reasons why she wasn't right for the job. She was too young, too outspoken, too bossy....

He let the shade fall back in place and turned to his dresser. Ruth Mummert...what was he going to do with her? He couldn't let her go home. Not now. He had to make her fit in, become part of the family. A hired hand, a helper. Eliza and everyone else would see how
wonderful-gut
she was with the children and how well she handled herself in the kitchen.

And when it came right down to it, he didn't
want
to send her away.

Picking up his razor, he paused, and then turned to the small chest at the foot of his bed. Salome's chest. What would she think of Ruth Mummert? They'd get along fine, wouldn't they? Salome would welcome her as a sister, a helper. He turned back to the mirror, ready to shave his upper lip, when he saw the scowl on his face. Why did he think of Salome at a time like this?

Ach,
when didn't he think of her?

He gave his upper lip a quick shave, the tiny shaving mirror reflecting his tired eyes. Old eyes. Levi swished the razor in the cold water and wiped it on the towel. Turning away from the mirror, he pulled on his work clothes, stretching his suspenders up over his shoulders and padding out of his bedroom.

The big house had been built before
Dat
was born, and the upper floor had been added to the house several years later to accommodate the growing family. Levi often thought of
Grossdawdi
in these quiet mornings as he climbed the worn treads of the stairway. His only memory of him was a blurred image, and he was surprised he remembered that much since
Dawdi
had died while Levi was still in dresses.

He stopped at the first bedroom and knocked on the door frame. “Elias, Nathan, it's time to get up.” Then crossing the hall, he knocked on the opposite room. “James, David, it's morning.” He waited until he heard them stirring before heading back down the stairs.

The kitchen was warm even though the fire lay quiet and dormant in the stove. He shook down the ashes and laid kindling on the glowing coals, each movement automatic. He blew the fire to life, fed it with more kindling and then set two split logs on top to keep it going. Waneta would be down soon. She always woke when she heard him in the kitchen.

What would he have done without Waneta when Salome died? Even though she was only fifteen at the time, his oldest daughter had stepped into her mother's role without hesitation.

There were a few burned biscuits at first, for sure, but she learned quickly. Too quickly. She acted too much like an old married woman at times. He rarely saw her smile as she went about her work, and she was often short-tempered with her brothers and sisters.

Well, with Ruth Mummert here now, Waneta would be able to join the other youth at the Singings and enjoy herself for once. Maybe she'd even notice Reuben Stoltzfus trying to catch her eye at Sunday meetings.

“Mornin',
Dat.
” Elias mumbled the greeting, but the other boys were silent as they jostled their sleepy way out to the back porch for their boots and coats. As crisp and clear as the stars were this morning, they'd all be wide-awake and half-frozen by the time they reached the barn.

Levi glanced at the
Dawdi Haus
door as he followed the boys. It was just an accident that he had seen Ruth in her night clothes. It was a mistake, nothing more, and he'd make sure it was never repeated.

* * *

Ruthy stood at the door of the
Dawdi Haus.

“It was just a mistake. A terrible, horrible mistake.” For the third time since she had woken up, she repeated the words to herself, but she still didn't want to touch the doorknob.

The look on Levi Zook's face the night before made her cheeks burn. He had been amused by her shameful appearance, without her
kapp
or even stockings. Every time she looked at him she would remember those brown eyes and the laughing crinkles around them. She could kick herself for being so careless.

But how could she face him—how could she face the children after this?

She must. Somehow she must go back into the kitchen. She had heard Levi go out to do chores, so this was her chance to do her work without him around. By the time he got back from choring, the rest of the children would be awake and she wouldn't have to face him alone.

Checking her
kapp
and smoothing her apron, she took a deep breath and then forced herself to open the door, pass through the short hall between the houses and walk into the kitchen. As she lit the kerosene lamp, she looked for the mess she had left behind when she fled the kitchen last night, but there was no sign of it. The sourdough sponge rested in its bowl under a clean towel, the counter was wiped clean and even the wooden spoon she had used was washed and put away.

She leaned her hands on the counter, ashamed and mortified. Levi had to have been the one to clean up after her. What must he think of her? Not only had she paraded in front of him dressed only in her nightgown, but she had also left her work for him to finish. She wouldn't be surprised if he sent her back to Lancaster County that morning.

Never mind. Even if her first day was her last one, she had work to do. It was four-thirty already and the men would be hungry when they came in from choring.

Putting more wood in the stove, Ruthy turned the sourdough onto the bread board and started kneading it, adding flour as she worked. She went through the breakfast menu in her mind. What did this family eat? Eggs, potatoes and biscuits were what
Mam
would be fixing this morning, and Waneta had mentioned sausage last night. She'd make just that.

As she started the sausage frying, the children started showing up one by one and the predawn quiet was broken. Waneta and Martha said soft “good mornings” as they tied on their aprons, Martha throwing on a shawl to go out to the chickens.

“
Dat
likes oatmeal with breakfast. Did you start any?” Waneta asked as she started peeling potatoes with quick efficiency.

“
Ach, ne,
I didn't, but it's too late now. I should have started it last night.”

“Don't worry.
Dat
bought this quick-cooking kind. It only takes one minute.”

Ruthy took the round box of instant oatmeal from the shelf and read the cooking directions. Only one minute? It would probably end up tasting like wallpaper paste. Real oats were going on her shopping list. She measured the oat flakes and water into a pan and set it on the hot stove.

When Martha returned with a pail full of eggs, Waneta started breaking them into a large bowl to scramble. Ruthy put the sausage patties on a plate in the oven to keep them warm and turned the peeled and sliced potatoes into the frying pan. Her stomach growled as the wet potatoes hit the hot grease with a burst of hearty fragrance.

“When
Mam
was here, we'd have pie for breakfast,” Martha said as she leaned toward the stove and inhaled the scent of the frying potatoes.

“Well,
Mam
isn't here, is she?” Waneta grunted as she beat the eggs. She must have broken three dozen into the bowl. “I have enough to do without making pies, too.”

“I'd make them if I knew how,” Martha said as she got a dozen plates from the cupboard.

“I'll teach you,” Ruthy said as she mixed biscuit dough. “What kind of pie is your favorite?”

“Anything. Apple, sugar cream, peach...”

“Do you like shoofly?”

Martha gave Ruthy a puzzled look. “Shoofly? I've never heard of it.”

“I have,” Waneta said as she poured the beaten eggs into another pan. “
Grossmutti
said she ate it when she was a girl in Lancaster County, but she never had the recipe.”

“I have a recipe for it. It's my
mam's
favorite. We can make one this afternoon and have it for supper.” Ruthy slid the pan of biscuits into the hot oven and then turned the potatoes one more time. She moved the pan to the back of the stove. They were done perfectly.

“Martha,” Waneta said, “make sure the little ones are up. Breakfast is almost ready.” She stirred the eggs one more time, and then moved the pan of oatmeal away from the heat.

“Let's see,” Ruthy said, “we have sausage, eggs, potatoes, oatmeal, biscuits, canned peaches... Is that everything?”

“You made the coffee, didn't you?” Waneta looked up from stirring the eggs, her eyes wide.

“Coffee! How could I forget?”

Waneta shook her head and reached past her for the coffeepot. “
Dat's
a bear without his coffee in the morning.”

Just what she needed, a bear.

The girls came into the kitchen, sleepy-eyed but dressed. Ruthy had them finish setting the table, then she glanced out the window and saw Levi and the older boys heading toward the house from the barn.

Waneta saw them, too. “Martha!
Dat's
coming!” She directed her voice toward the stovepipe, and then saw Ruthy staring at her. “The stovepipe goes right up through the little boys' room. She's there getting them out of bed.”

Somehow, with Waneta and Martha's help, breakfast was on the table before Levi Zook and the older boys finished taking off their boots and washing up on the back porch. The younger children slid into their seats, and the family took their places around the table. Ruthy didn't look at Levi, but kept busy helping Sam sit straight on his end of the bench.

Silence fell, compelling Ruthy to risk looking at the stony face at the other end of the table. Waneta was right, he could be a bear in the morning. Last night forgotten, she stared back at him.

“Is there something you need, Levi Zook?”

“What happened to the coffee?”

Ruthy's knees shook beneath the table. How dare he! Her first morning in a new kitchen, breakfast on the table on time, the children all awake and dressed and he questions her about coffee?

The coffeepot gurgling on the stove was the only sound as she kept her eyes locked on his.

“Your coffee will be ready after we thank the Father in heaven for our food.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Ruthy saw Nellie look from her to her father, and back again. Jesse stared at her with an open mouth, and Nancy giggled.

David broke the stony silence. “
Dat,
can we eat now?”

Levi Zook didn't answer, but lowered his head as a signal for the silent prayer. Ruthy closed her eyes, but her mind wasn't on the food before them.

“Dear God, help me survive this day.”

* * *

Levi cast about in his mind for words to pray. Any words would do, but they were nowhere to be found. Making do with a quick
Denki for this food,
Levi raised his head and lifted his spoon. Every morning since his marriage the clink of his spoon in his coffee cup was the signal for his family to begin eating, but without a coffee cup he made do with a sharp rap against the edge of his plate.

Taking the platter of sausage, he shoveled four or five patties onto his plate, and then passed them to Waneta at the same time Elias passed the bowl of scrambled eggs to him. When Elias handed him an empty bowl with oatmeal clinging to the sides he looked at Waneta.

“
Ja,
for sure,
Dat,
there's more on the stove to take up.”