More Than Once (19 page)

“No. I couldn’t leave. But I couldn’t stay either.”

He stared at me from a few feet away, his glasses inching down his nose, his hands shoved in the pockets of his dark jeans. He wore a white button-up shirt with a skinny black tie, and his blond hair was slicked back in that way I loved. I hadn’t seen him in days, yet somehow he looked even more handsome than I remembered. Like he was more comfortable in his body than he’d ever been before, and it was drop-dead sexy.

“What happened?” he asked.

I sighed and wished for the hundredth time that I had a cigarette. “It all just hit me, hard. The show, the band, and then I saw you with Tara…”

“Ah,” he said, like that explained everything. “You saw her hug me.”

My throat tightened, and I looked away, rubbing my arms. It was way too cold to be standing out here in nothing but this skimpy little dress, but I hadn’t planned on going outside when I’d put it on. At least it wasn’t snowing.

“Tara and I were just trying to get some closure,” he said. “It meant nothing, I promise you.”

I bit my lower lip, but managed to nod. “I’m totally overreacting, I know that. But after all the stress of the night, I saw you together and something just…snapped. I started drinking to numb the pain, and I realized I had to get out of there before I did something stupid.”

“I understand. But you don’t need to worry. Tara and I are going to try being friends, but I don’t have any feelings for her anymore, and she’s happy with Hector.” He stepped closer and fixed me with his intense gaze. “Becca, the only one I want is you.”

Andrew had a way of looking at me that never failed to take my breath away. Like he was always studying me, always interested in everything I said, always memorizing every moment we spent together. He saw below the surface to the real me and somehow, surprisingly, liked what he saw.

I loved the way he looked at me—like I mattered.

“I knew you’d find me,” I said.

“You didn’t give me much to go on. This parking lot is huge. But I wasn’t going to let you walk away from the show tonight or from me. Not without a fight.”

“I don’t know if I can do this. The arena is so damn big and there are so many people and the band is seriously famous now. What if I fuck up and ruin the show? What if I blow
everything
?”

He brushed his fingers softly across my face. “You won’t. They asked you to join them for a reason, and you’ve spent the last few days practicing with them. It’s okay for you to be nervous, but I have no doubt that you’ll do great.”

I closed my hand around his, pressing it to my cheek. “What if I go back to my old ways? What if I fail again? What if—”

“I won’t let you do that. I’ll keep you good…and you’ll keep me bad.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, his hands cupping my face, eyes staring into mine. “Remember what you said to me? That I could be both Andy and Andrew? You showed me that I don’t have to be bad or good. I can be some combination of both. You can be both versions of yourself, too—the rock star
and
the new you. They’re not mutually exclusive. They’re both you, good and bad, light and dark.”

“I get what you’re saying—that together we can be the best versions of ourselves. But how can we ever really move on from our pasts?”

“We can’t, but maybe we don’t need to. It was our pasts—my relationship with Tara, your involvement with the band—that brought the two of us together. I wouldn’t change a single thing about my past, because everything that happened led me to you.”

His lips found mine, and his hands slid to the back of my head, cradling it like he always did. I fell into his arms and melted into his kiss, while his touch infused me with strength and love. Andrew saw the best in me and made me want to try harder, to get back up every time I fell down, to go after the things that scared me. He believed in me, and in turn, he made me believe in myself.

I rested my forehead against his, clinging to him. “Everything is better now that you’re here,” I whispered. “But what happens after the show is over? What do I do then?”

“We’ll figure that out tomorrow. For tonight, just focus on this show.”

“Okay.” I pulled myself together, gazing up at the arena. “I can do that.”

Maybe Andrew was right, and the mistakes we’d made weren’t really mistakes at all. Maybe we needed to fall down, so we could get back up again and resolve to keep standing. Maybe we needed to have our hearts broken, so when we fell in love again, we’d know it was real.

Our pasts had made us stronger. They’d made us better. And they’d brought us together.

Now it was time to go after the future.

B
ecca rejoined the band backstage with only a minute to spare. I gave her a quick kiss and then found my seat out in the stands beside two people who were
very
happy to be in the audience—Becca’s parents.

“Did you see her?” Evelyn asked, her face flushed with excitement.

“I did. She looked amazing.”

Before I could say more, the lights went dark and the crowd started to cheer. Evelyn and David gripped each other’s hands, staring up at the stage, and I smiled at the sight of them. When they’d told me they had never seen their daughter play with the band before, I knew I had to find a way to make it happen.

The band came out on stage together, and the audience went wild. Everyone in the arena seemed to jump to their feet at once, including me. Becca had a red and black electric bass, and she moved across the stage, taking her place beside Jared. She looked ridiculously sexy in that silver dress and those combat boots. But best of all, her piercings were back, running up and down her earlobes. I couldn’t wait to tease them with my tongue later tonight.

When the entire band was in place, they started to play. Their first song was “Behind the Mask,” their most popular one off their old album, the one Becca had performed before. At first, she looked like she might bolt off the stage at any second as she gazed across the audience. But then her fingers began to move deftly across the bass guitar, and the tension seemed to slide off her face. Her body relaxed into the music and swept her away. By the time the song ended, I could tell she was at home up there, with the rest of the band, performing for thousands of people.

She didn’t screw up once. And when Jared introduced her as their bassist for the show and explained how she’d come to their rescue when he’d broken his hand, she actually looked pretty damn proud. The crowd cheered, and then they launched into their very cool, modern cover of U2’s “New Year’s Day.”

She looked so hot up there, playing her bass guitar, moving across the stage like she owned it. My girlfriend was a freaking rock star. And in a few hours I was going to rip all her clothes off and make her mine again.

After the band left the stage, I texted Becca to come meet us in the parking lot, since her parents didn’t have backstage passes. When she walked out, her face shifted into shock at the sight of them standing with me.

“Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?”

Evelyn grabbed her daughter in a hug. “We wanted to surprise you! Andrew was able to get us some tickets to the show with the help of a nice boy named Hector.”

“What did you think?” Becca asked, her voice hesitant.

“You know, in all these years, we’ve never seen you perform on stage with a band,” David said. “When you asked us to give Patricia the money for college instead of you and said that you planned to focus on music instead, we were…skeptical.”

“What your father is trying to say is, we were very worried,” Evelyn said.

David nodded. “We were concerned that you were going back to your old lifestyle in order to help your sister or because you worried it would be too hard to return to college. But after the show tonight, we understand—this is your dream, and you have to follow it. And we’ll support you however we can. Both you and your sister.”

Evelyn wiped at her eyes, a big smile on her face. “You were wonderful, dear. We’re so proud of you.”

Becca hugged her dad, and her eyes were wet, too. “Thank you. I never imagined you would come to one of my shows, but…” She turned to me and smiled. “Thank you. All of you.”

“Now, I know it’s New Year’s Eve and not even midnight, but I’m exhausted,” Evelyn said. “We’re heading to your uncle’s for the night. Will you be out late?”

She ruffled her hair, looking down at the ground. “I…um, I’ll probably stay out with Andrew.”

“I’ll take good care of her,” I said with a grin. “In fact, this is technically our third date.”

“Oh my,” Evelyn said, clapping her hands together. “We all know what that means. Your first time!”

“Mom!” Becca said, her cheeks going instantly red.

“What? I have the Internet. I know how these things work.”

If only they knew. Becca and I had done everything backward, but it worked for us.

“We won’t wait up,” David said, taking Evelyn’s arm.

“I hope you won’t be a stranger, Andrew,” she said.

“I don’t intend to be, ma’am.”

“Such a nice boy,” Evelyn said to David, as they walked back to their car.

Ha, nice. They had no idea what I was planning to do to their daughter the second I got her alone. And she still owed me that strip tease…

“Thank you,” Becca said, sliding her arms around my neck and drawing me in for a kiss. “That was really nice of you.”

I grinned. “I’m just glad they’re not calling me ‘Brett’ anymore.”

We returned to Villain Complex’s dressing room. The other members of the band, plus Tara, were all relaxing on couches. There was an air of exhaustion in the room, but also of celebration. On a TV in the corner, the ball dropped in New York and fireworks went off, one hour ahead of us here in Austin.

“Come join us,” Jared said, patting a spot on the couch for us. “We just opened some champagne.”

Becca introduced me to the band members I had never officially met, and they poured us a glass of champagne as we sat down. I slid my arm around Becca and she leaned against me. Across the room, Tara nudged Hector and smiled.

“I’d like to propose a toast,” Jared said, raising his glass. “To Becca, for helping us tonight. The concert was a success—one of our best ones ever—all thanks to you.”

She ducked her head, her cheeks flushed, but I could tell from the way her eyes danced that she was pleased. “Thanks for giving me the chance. It was amazing being able to perform with all of you again.”

“We’re really glad you said that because we’ve all been talking and…” Jared looked at Kyle, Maddie, and Hector in turn. They each nodded and he continued. “We’d like you to join our band again. Permanently.”

Becca nearly spit out her champagne. She wiped at her lips, her eyes wide, and gripped my hand hard. “What?”

“Sorry, we know it’s sudden,” Kyle said. “But even if Jared’s hand gets better—”

“Which it will,” Maddie said.

“—we think it works better if we have a separate bassist so he can focus on singing and charming the crowd during the shows. The audience seemed to love that tonight.”

“Also, it allows him to play rhythm guitar now and then,” Maddie said. “Which I know he’s missed.”

Jared nodded. “Basically, having a bassist gives us a lot more freedom on stage, and we know you work well with us. We’d like you to be a permanent member of Villain Complex.”

I gave Becca a reassuring squeeze. I’d had a feeling this would happen after she performed with them. She was so incredible—how could they not want her back now that she’d gotten her life straightened out? And I knew from our phone calls over the past few days that she wanted to join the band again, but she was scared, too. She just had to be willing to take that one, final leap and say yes.

“Are you sure?” Becca asked. “I know I haven’t been the best band member in the past. Even tonight, I freaked out and thought about quitting on you guys.”

“But you didn’t,” Hector said.

Maddie gave Becca a warm smile. “We’ve all screwed up in the past. We’ve all made mistakes. But what matters is that we move forward together as a band.”

Jared leaned forward, pouring more champagne into Becca’s glass. “The only thing is, you’d have to move to LA with us so you can start practicing and learning all our other new songs. And you’d have to agree to do all our shows and go on tour with us this summer, plus all the publicity crap that goes along with that. You’d be paid of course, but I know it’s a lot to ask…”

Becca glanced at each member of the band, biting her lip. “Do you need an answer tonight?”

“No, but we’d love to get one sooner rather than later,” Kyle said.

She turned toward me, gripping my hand so hard it hurt. “I have to talk to Andrew first. Just give us a minute, okay?”

Jared raised his eyebrows and studied me for a moment, but he nodded. “Of course.”

We went into the hallway and shut the door behind us. As soon as it was closed, she let out a huge sigh and fell back against the wall. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening. What do you think I should do?”

I leaned against the wall, stroking her cheek softly. “Isn’t it obvious? This is what you wanted, and I can see in your eyes that you’re dying to do this. Say yes.”

She grabbed my hand again, holding on like it was her lifeline. “It’s everything I was hoping for, but at the same time, it means taking a huge risk and moving away from my family…and from you. I don’t know if I can do it.”

“It’s a risk, but it’s one you should take. And your family will always be there for you. You’ll still be able to visit them all the time.”

“But what about you?” she asked, her voice breathless. “Did you mean what you said about moving to LA?”

“I did. I may not be able to move right away, but I won’t lose you again, Becca.” I took her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. “Besides, I found you in the department store. I found you in the parking lot. I’ll find you again in LA somehow.”

She looked up at me with the happiest smile I’d ever seen on her face, and then we fell into another long kiss. Even if she moved away, I knew it wouldn’t be the end of us. I wouldn’t let it be.