More Letters From a Nut (2 page)

Dear Coca Cola:

I have a beverage called Kiet Doke. Will it interfere with your beverage – Diet Coke. The taste is NOT SIMILAR at all!! (Mine tastes like Pepsi).

I sell my Kiet Doke to mostly construction workers who love it. One guy said, “This sure DOESN’T taste like Coca Cola.”

Let me know so I can continue to sell my soda. Thanks. By the way do you use caramel in your soda? Just checking. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

LEGAL DIVISION

January 9, 1997

RE: KIET DOKE (Our Reference Number 145342)

Dear Mr. Nancy:

Thank you for your letter of October 25, 1996 inquiring whether you may continue using the trademark KIET DOKE in association with a beverage.

As the owner of a federal registration for the famous trademark “diet Coke”, we cannot consent to your use of KIET DOKE in association with a beverage. We believe KIET DOKE is confusingly similar to our trademark “diet Coke”, and are concerned that an appreciable number of consumers will believe that The Coca-Cola Company endorses your product. As a result, we must insist that you immediately take action to discontinue use of KIET DOKE.

If you are willing to immediately cease and desist using KIET DOKE, and agree not to use any product name or trademark similar to trademarks of The Coca-Cola Company in association with beverages in the future, please sign the spaces provided and return this letter to me. If you would like to discuss this, I may be reached at the numbers below. If we have not received this signed agreement within fifteen (15) days of the date of this letter, we will assume you do not agree to these terms.

Dear Ms. Nancy V. Stephens,

I have decided that I will
not
sell my KIET DOKE beverage any more. The product is discontinued. I am taking my $700.00 out of the bank and my 11 cans of Kiet Doke that are left and bringing them home. (They are in my room now).

I now realize it was a poorly thought out idea. It was stupid. I mean if you went to 7-11 and saw in the cooler Dr. Pepper, Orange Crush, Wink, and Kiet Doke would you choose Kiet Doke? I don’t think so. The idea was bad. Who was I to think that someone would choose Kiet Doke? I am embarrassed over what I now consider to be a terrible idea.

So let this letter stand as my admission that I have ceased and desisted. There will be no more Kiet Doke on the market. I am sorry I bothered you. I am sorry I wasted your time.

And please look out for my new beverage – PIET DEPSI. With the familiar slogan: “It Tastes Nothing Like Coke!” (Will be in coolers soon). Piet Depsi is a thirst quenching drink which, I believe, does not taste like your drink.

Enjoy it! Also, what about the caramel in your soda? Are you using a lot of it? Thanks.

Respectfully,

Ted L. Nancy