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Authors: Heidi Marshall

BOOK: More
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“I actually talked to Ben this morning. He called me to see if he could still come and visit this weekend. He was hoping that the three of us could get together and do something fun.”

“Wait. Wait. You’re telling me that he thinks I’m still going to want to
see
him? Even though he has a girlfriend back home? He thinks the three of us are going to hang out like buddies after everything that happened?”

“Now do you see what I mean? He’s clueless.”

Despite her pain, Kate began to laugh. “I give up!” she said, throwing her hands up in the air.

“I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you did, Kate Henry. But I hope that you don’t. He’s out there somewhere.”

“We’ll see.”

“I’m sorry my brother hurt you.”

“Thanks. And you can tell him that I’m busy this weekend. And every weekend for the rest of my life.”

Darren chuckled. “I already did.”

 

~~~~~

 

After that day, Darren was very careful not to bring up Ben to Kate. He knew that if she wanted to talk about it she would, but he wanted to respect her privacy and help her move on.

Kate didn’t talk about Ben to anyone. This was something she felt she had to deal with in private. The pain of losing him was almost unbearable, and although she put on a brave front, there were many nights when she cried herself to sleep from the loneliness and the hurt she was feeling.

She had closed herself off to the idea of letting anyone new into her life and tried to focus on all the good things that she had. Maybe it was better to just be alone. With no man to distract her, she found time to explore new ideas, such as starting a community book club and a children’s storytime at The Bestselling Dwelling. Meredith loved the ideas, because she loved anything that would bring the people from the neighborhood into the store.

Kate had transformed a back corner on the second story into what she called The Book Nook. Filled with overstuffed loveseats and chairs, it was packed every day with readers of all ages. Every Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, volunteers from the local retirement home came to read stories to children. Todd and Parker became regulars and were always begging their parents to buy a new book every time they were in the store.

Every Wednesday evening after the store closed, the community book club, who soon named themselves the Dusty Cover Group, gathered with their matching copies and coffee cups to discuss the book that Kate had picked for them to read. Her first choice was the classic by American writer Louisa May Alcott,
Little Women
.

“I don’t think that Jo should have rejected Laurie’s marriage proposal,” said Will Thomas, who owned the deli next door with his wife Ruby. “He loved her. He could have provided for her. She was happy with him.”

“No, no, no!” replied Penelope, a hairstylist who worked just down the street. “They weren’t right for each other and Jo knew it. Laurie was her friend, but she never loved him as more than that. And I think if he was honest with himself, he would have admitted that he didn’t love her either.”

“I agree,” piped up Ruby. “They were destined to be family, but not as husband and wife. Look at how perfectly it all worked out when Laurie married Jo’s sister Amy. It’s clearly how it was supposed to be.”

“I don’t know,” said Kate thoughtfully. “It always seemed like there was something special between Jo and Laurie. Sure, it worked out well in the end, but what if she would have said yes? Do you think she would have grown to love Laurie?”

Kate turned as she heard slow footsteps on the creaking wooden stairs. Everyone in the book club was present, so she couldn’t imagine who else would be in the store after closing time. She blinked with disbelief as she recognized the tall figure that was approaching.

“Hello, Kate,” said Ian.

 

~~~~~

 

Jacob headed around the side of the house to throw out some used plastic containers from the annuals he had just planted. As he approached the trash cans, he could hear a woman’s voice through an open window. Moving closer, he realized that it was Olivia, and she was praying. He knew he shouldn’t have listened in to this personal moment, but when he heard Kate’s name he felt as though his feet were planted firmly on the ground outside the window and he could not seem to turn and walk away.

“Lord, I’m here on my knees, every single day, praying for my sweet Kate. She’s been through so much, and I’m afraid that her heart is becoming hardened. When people keep disappointing her, I fear that she closes herself off even more to the possibility of ever sharing her life with someone. I know you made her with such an incredible capacity to love. Please don’t deny her of the one thing she wants most in the world. I know you have a plan for her, Lord, but I ask you – no, I beg you – bring the right man into her life. Bring someone who will love everything about her and will cherish her. Someone who will challenge her and help her to grow. Someone who will admit how much he needs her and can’t live without her. Please, Father.”

 

~~~~~

 

After hastily ending the book club meeting, Kate and Ian found themselves alone upstairs in the bookstore. Kate looked at her former friend, who looked worn and tired.

“What are you doing here, Ian?”

“I’m sorry for showing up like this unannounced. I know it’s been months, but…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I have some things I need to say to you.”

Kate folded her arms and shifted her weight, unsure of whether or not she wanted to hear what Ian had to say.

“I realize that you have every reason to be upset with me. Please just hear me out.”

She could hear in his tone that he wasn’t planning on leaving until he said what he came to say. She took a seat on her favorite couch in The Book Nook and looked up at Ian with a blank expression, arms still folded protectively across her chest.

“The things you said to me that night really hurt. They have been echoing in my head ever since. At first I was upset that you would be willing to throw our friendship away for something that I thought you knew I didn’t want. I thought the friendship that we had was so perfect. I never said anything to you about wanting to be more than friends. But when you called me a coward…that haunted me, Kate. It’s been haunting me for months. I couldn’t understand why you would say that about me. Why you would think that about me, really. I thought I was being such a good friend to you.”

“This is what you wanted to say to me?” asked Kate harshly.

“Let me explain. I never told you this, but your mom said something to me the morning after Christmas. It was early in the morning before you had gotten out of bed. She told me that you are a treasure. She told me to treat you right. I couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole flight home. I think part of me knew you were starting to fall in love with me, but not until I heard your mother’s words did I realize how serious things were getting. So I tried. I tried to fall in love with you too. I mean, it would have been so easy. We’re so perfect for each other. But for reasons that I’ll never be able to explain because I don’t even understand them myself, it just didn’t work. I never saw you as more than a friend. A good friend. The best friend I’ve ever had, really. But still…just a friend.”

Ian sat down in a chair across from Kate. “The reason why I came here today was to tell you that you were right. I was a coward. I knew how you felt. I knew you weren’t getting what you wanted, even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself. But I was selfish. I wanted it to last for as long as it could without getting complicated, so I didn’t say anything. And you stuck in there until you couldn’t stand it anymore and did the brave thing and called me out on it. I wasn’t prepared for it, I didn’t handle it well, and it’s taken me months to get to the place where I can apologize.”

He stood up and sat gingerly on the couch next to her. “Look, the fact is that I miss you. I don’t know if you can be friends with me after the way I treated you, but I would love it if you could. I value the friendship we had, and I want it back. And this time I’ll treat you right.”

Kate’s mind was reeling. On the one hand, she was so happy to hear him say that he was wrong and apologize for the things that he had done. But how could he have let her walk out of his life completely? Why wasn’t he willing to fight for their friendship? She got up from the couch and backed away from him.

“No, Ian. Stop. It’s too late!” He got up and moved towards her, but she put her hands on her hips and took another step back. “
No!
Don’t touch me! I don’t believe a word you say! You’re just lonely and want me to come back and be your almost-girlfriend again. And I won’t do it! You know what’s going to happen. We’ll fall back into our old routine. I’ll spend every weekend at your place and we’ll become inseparable again. And then I’ll start to fall for you, and we’ll have the same fight. I’ll leave heartbroken, and you’ll wonder why I can’t just be your friend. I can’t do it again, Ian!”

“Kate,” he said desperately, “don’t do this. Don’t you hear what I’m saying to you? I want to be your friend. I want to do it right. I don’t want to end up in the same place where we were. Can’t we find a way to be friends again without all this drama?”

“It may be drama to you, but it’s my
heart
. I’ve been through more than enough. And my heart can’t take much more.” Kate held back the tears because she didn’t want him to see her cry. “Please leave. Now.”

“I’m not leaving. I need you back in my life. Please, Kate.”

“LEAVE!”

Ian stared at her, but saw from her stone-faced expression that she wasn’t going to change her mind. Defeated, he let out a pained sigh and walked down the stairs and out of the bookstore without a word.

Kate sank back onto the couch and put her head in her hands.

Knowing the store was empty, she sat as the shock wore off and began to weep. Loudly. Her chest heaved as she struggled to take in enough air to support the sobs that were shaking her body. “Why, Lord?” she cried between her sobs. “Why did he come back? I was just getting back on my feet! I’m trying to live my life and I don’t need this right now! I…I can’t. I just can’t. I’m not strong enough to let him back in my life. I’m not strong enough…” Kate curled up in a ball on the corner of the couch and continued to cry and pray, not knowing what else to do.

 

~~~~~

 

“Brooke, come outside and keep me company!”

“Just give me five minutes to get into my bikini. I just got home from work.”

True to her word, Brooke stepped out onto the patio of the beach house five minutes later in a purple and white striped bikini and settled into the lounge chair next to Kate. “How was the Trust Fund Brigade today?”

Brooke and Kate had both landed summer jobs at as servers at a local yacht club. They enjoyed the good tips that they often made from the older crowd, but despised waiting on the spoiled younger generation.

“Oh, no majors issues today. They were high maintenance as always, but I’m getting used to it. I just keep remembering that it’s worth it to be able to live in this house for the summer.”

Although they went to different colleges and had only met a few weeks earlier when they had moved into the house, the two girls became fast friends and were enjoying having one last relaxing summer before they both graduated from college. Since they were living in the beach house rent-free, thanks to Rick’s generous parents, they were both able to work part-time and devote the rest of their time to important activities such as lounging, napping, reading for pleasure (a rare treat for college students), and working on their tans. Well, Kate either burned or stayed white, but she didn’t stop trying to break the cycle and find that warm summer glow she so desperately wanted.

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