Moments in Time (26 page)

Tanner’s eyes were crystal clear now, glinting in the light as the sun rose behind us. I stared into them for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t mind. I wanted to look into them forever. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. I’d never seen him at a loss for words before, and it scared the shit out of me, thinking of all the things he might be about to say.

He gnawed his bottom lip, something he only did when he was really struggling.
Oh Jesus. Are we over? Is this it?
I tried to contain myself, but a tear leaked out and rolled down my cheek. Tanner’s gaze followed its path. It reached my jaw and clung for a moment before starting down my neck.

Leaning forward, Tanner kissed it away. My heart shuddered like an engine on a cold day. His lips slid to my cheek, and he placed another kiss, then pulled back so his face was inches from mine.

“We’re gonna have to learn to trust each other more.”

I nodded, breathless.

“And you’re gonna have to get better at telling me how you feel. About everything.”

“I will. I promise.”

“And please, for the love of God, will you realize that other people find you attractive?”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay, then.” His thumbs stroked my cheek as he gripped the back of my head harder.

“Tanner, I—”

Words wouldn’t come, they were all stuck behind the massive lump in my throat. It didn’t matter. I didn’t need words for what I needed to let him know. Lunging forward, I smashed my mouth against his. My arms remembered how to move and wrapped around him, clawing at his shirt, gripping his neck, anything to get his body as flush with mine as possible.

Now that I’d touched him again, I never wanted to let him go.

T
ANNER AND I walked back to the house hand in hand. For the first time in hours, I felt like I could breathe again.

I opened the front door, and we snuck in as quietly as possible so we wouldn’t wake anyone. All I wanted was to go up to our room, get into bed, and finish making up. Before we even got across the living room, a door slammed upstairs, followed by the sound of tears. Wendy barreled down the staircase, sobbing.

Shit. What the fuck?

“What’s wrong?” Tanner asked her.

“Nothing.” She grabbed her purse, rushing for the door. “I have to go.”

Tanner dropped my hand and stepped in front of her, throwing me a wide-eyed look. “Hey. Talk to me. What happened?”

“I got a ride over on my boss’s boat. I wanted to surprise Dex by getting here early.” She let out a cross between a hiccup and a squeak, then dissolved into another storm of tears.

Tanner wrapped his arms around her as she cried.

Dex appeared in the stairwell, wearing sweatpants and tugging on a T-shirt. The look in Tanner’s eyes sent a chill through me. I’d never seen him so angry.

Dex walked straight to Wendy and put his hand on her back. She pulled away, clinging tighter to Tanner.

“Come on, baby,” Dex said. “Let me explain.”

“Get away from me.” Wendy’s voice was muffled against Tanner’s chest.

Tanner’s jaw was clenched so tight, I could see the veins in his neck. “Why don’t you give her some space?”

Dex scowled. “This doesn’t concern you, man. This is between me and her.”

A high-pitched giggle sounded, and Maggie appeared, wearing a T-shirt and a grin. “Not exactly.”

“Stay out of this,” Tanner said, glaring at her.

Maggie perched on the edge of the couch and crossed her long bare legs, wagging a foot in the air. “You’re one to talk. She’s back in your arms in under five minutes. I’d have thought it would take at least a few days.”

Fuck.
Dex stared at her, face screwed up in obvious confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Your weekend princess and her schooltime fuck buddy,” Maggie said, answering Dex but looking straight at Tanner, eyes gleaming.

Dex flinched. “What?”

Maggie gave me a mischievous smirk, then turned her wide eyes to Dex. “Oh, did you not know? About Wendy and Tanner’s extracurricular activities?”

Wendy had pulled away from Tanner, tears still streaming but now with fear in her eyes.

Dex’s face darkened, nostrils flared. “Seriously?” He glared at Wendy. “This guy?”

Wendy held her hand up. “Dex, it was a long time ago….”

Maggie snorted and rolled her eyes. “A long time in dog years, maybe.”

“Jesus.” Dex’s voice was full of disgust. “You couldn’t even find a straight guy?”

My blood went from simmer to boil. “Back off, Dex.”

The sound of my voice startled me. It came out more like a growl. My hand ached and I realized my fists had clenched.

Dex raised an eyebrow. “So the wife’s gonna defend the mistress? This is fucked-up.”

I lunged at him without thinking, catching him totally off guard and landing a punch right on his smug face. The impact shot through my knuckles and up my arm like a bolt of lightning. Before I knew what was happening, Tanner had grabbed me from behind, pulling me away from Dex. Bryan appeared out of nowhere and stopped Dex from swinging at me.

Wendy shoved her way between all of us, yelling, “Stop it! Just stop!”

Dex struggled out of Bryan’s grasp and backed away, rubbing the bruise already forming on his cheek. “So not worth it.” He spat. “You know what, Wen, you can have your bunch of faggots. Do whatever you want with them. I’m outta here.”

He stormed out of the house, slamming the screen door behind him. Wendy went to follow him, but Tanner grabbed her arm. “Let him go.”

Tears were rolling down her cheeks again. “I don’t want to let him go.”

I could see the exasperation in Tanner’s face.
Don’t say it. Not now.

“He’s been hooking up with Maggie all summer. Let him go. You don’t need this bullshit. You can do so much better.”

Wendy looked as if Tanner had slapped her across the face.

Oh Jesus.

“What did you say?” Her eyes darted from Tanner’s to Maggie’s, then back. “All summer?”

Bryan puffed out a breath and took a step back like he was afraid she might literally explode.

Wendy’s eyes grew bigger as she glanced from Bryan to me. “And you knew? You all knew?”

I wanted to say something. Something comforting. Something to defend the fact that we hadn’t told her. Words failed me.

“Wendy….” Tanner reached for her, but she recoiled.

“Don’t even talk to me.” She backed away, looking at all of us like we were dangerous predators, then turned and raced up the stairs.

B
RYAN WAS the first to speak. “I just came down for a glass of water.”

Maggie giggled. I’d forgotten she was still there. I couldn’t deal with her or her self-satisfied grin.

Tanner looked more stressed than I’d ever seen him. “You were right, I should have told her. Shit,” he said and took off after Wendy.

I watched him go, flexing my fingers. My whole hand still tingled.

Bryan raked his hands through his hair. “I think I’ll get that water now.”

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this,” I said. “Thanks for stopping Dex.”

“No worries.” He gave a wave of his hand and disappeared into the kitchen.

Maggie hummed and flopped onto the couch, letting her T-shirt ride up high enough that I could see she wasn’t wearing anything under it. She grabbed a magazine and started to thumb through it.

“This is all your fault, you know.”

“Excuse me?”

Her shoulders rose to her ears as her round eyes stared up at me, dark and treacherous. “If you’d have taken me up on my offer at the beginning of the summer, none of this would have happened.”

My blood ran cold. “Fuck you, Maggie.”

“That was the plan.” She smiled in a way that made the hair stand up on my arms. “But you weren’t up for the challenge. So to speak.”

I’d had enough.

Without another word, I turned and climbed the stairs, wanting to be as far away from her as possible before I said or did something I’d regret.

Tanner was on the second floor landing. “Come on, Wendy, open up.”

“No.” Her voice sounded muffled through the door.

Tanner shook his head at me. “She’s just being stubborn now. She’ll let me in. Go on up. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Take your time.” I knew that was the right thing to say. Truth was I wanted him to get up to our room as soon as possible.

I hadn’t even reached the top floor when I heard the squeak of Wendy opening her door and the gentle
click
of it closing behind them. Our room glowed pink from the sunrise. It felt like it had been days since I’d slept, but the last thing I wanted to do was get into bed. Not without Tanner.

I busied myself folding laundry for as long as possible, trying to pretend I wasn’t straining to see if I could hear anything from downstairs. There were no voices. No doors opening or closing. I put on headphones and turned on my laptop. Music wasn’t as much of a distraction as I hoped, but my in-box caught my attention. For the first time in weeks, there was an e-mail from Sean.

Don’t open it. You don’t need any more shit right now.
The voice of reason was drowned out by the subject line: “I need to talk to you.”

I pulled my hand away from the mouse pad three times before I gave in and clicked to open the message.

Collin,

I know you don’t owe me any favors, especially not the way things have been between us lately, but I need you, bro. Laura and I split up a few weeks back. We’re getting a divorce. I don’t want to discuss the sordid details in an e-mail, but suffice to say I caught her fucking some other guy. Mom’s not speaking to me. Quinn’s lecturing me about marital counseling. All I want is for everyone to shut the fuck up. I guess I know how you must feel with everyone telling you what you should and shouldn’t do and how you should and shouldn’t feel. I’m sorry. Seriously. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.

Through all this shit, you’re the one person I wanted advice from. You always give me such good advice. I’m sorry I couldn’t return the favor when everyone was coming down on you, but I promise, I’ll do better. I don’t know when you’re heading back up here, but could you give me a call? The kids miss their uncle. I miss my brother.

Hope things are better with you than they are here.

Really hope we can talk soon.

S

Holy fucking shit.
My mother must be having a cow. Divorce? Adultery? I bet homosexuality was looking a lot better to her. Well, maybe not. But at least I was no longer the only person she was furious at. Poor Sean. I’d felt like shit even thinking about Tanner cheating on me. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have someone you were married to betray you like that.

I looked at my phone. It was still way too early to call him. I typed a message instead.

Sean

Remember when we were kids and we’d try to see who could make Mom madder? Which of us do you think is winning?

Tanner and I are moving back to school on the 26th. Call me anytime. I can’t pick up while I’m at work, but other than that, I’m here for you. Whatever you need.

Miss you too. And the kids.

Talk to you soon.

C

I hit Send, took off the headphones, and rubbed my forehead. The floorboards creaked and Tanner entered our room, looking like he’d been through a war.

“How’d it go?” I asked.

He closed and locked the door. “Not well.”

Sighing, he looked around the room, eyes zooming in on me. “You okay?”

Telling him about Sean could wait. “What happened with Wendy?”

He raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. “Captain Douchebag came back right after she let me into her room. He said he loves her and he’ll never see Maggie again on one condition.”

Uh-oh. “What’s that?”

“That she severs all ties with me.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“What’d she tell him?”

“They’re heading back to the city. Together. She wants to give it another try. Somehow she’s got it in her head they’re ‘even,’ since he didn’t know she’d been with me and she didn’t know about Maggie.”

“But….”

He waved a hand to stop me.

“I know. Don’t even. Her mind’s made up. She said she didn’t want to hear another word from me. Or you. Sorry. Again, you were right. We should have said something.”

“You don’t know that. She could have gotten just as pissed if we had. Like she did the other time.”

Dark circles ringed his eyes. I wanted to hug him, so I stood up. He took a step back, looking nervous. “She’ll come around eventually. Look, I don’t want to talk about Dex and Wendy anymore. She’s a big girl. She’s gotta make her own decision. But I need to ask you something. About us.”

My breath caught in my chest. “Shoot.”

“We’re going back to school in two weeks. I need to know. Is this what you want?” He moved his hand in the air between us. “You and me?”

I couldn’t believe he was asking me that. “Yes!”

His eyes searched mine, and I thought my heart might burst. “Because if you don’t… I don’t want us to wind up like the two of them. If you’re not sure….”

“Tanner, I’m positive.”

He swallowed hard and ran his hands through his hair again. I hated seeing him so shaken. Hated that I was part of why he felt that way. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two condoms, placing them on the dresser.

“After I found you and Jason, I grabbed these and went out. I planned on using them.”

My throat ached so bad, I couldn’t swallow, couldn’t speak, could barely breathe.
With who? Did you?
I couldn’t get the words out.

His gaze met mine. “I couldn’t do it. I made it halfway to town, then turned around and went to the beach. I don’t want anyone but you.”